Get What You Give

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “No, the manager told me who you are,” the man said. “You might not remember me, but I’m the bartender whose life you saved that night. I just wanna thank you and tell you you changed my life. I now know it’s not just about me, it’s about making this world a better place. For the longest time, I asked myself why I had that big scare, and I had to admit that I had been selfish. My mom had used her savings to put me through school, and I’d partied and flunked out. Thanks to you, I’m saving up my money so I can go back to college next year.”

  “That sounds wonderful, son,” my uncle said. “I’m president of Western Smith College, and that is great news.”

  “Yes, sir. I’m planning to make you proud. Enjoy your shakes on me; I don’t wanna take up any more of your time.”

  “I don’t like hearing you risked your life to save somebody,” my uncle said, “but I’m really proud of you, Hailey. This thing with your guy—I don’t know much about where y’all are, but don’t lose who you are. Guys are great, but don’t be all up under him, and don’t run him off. When you are the Hailey Grant I know and who that bartender was so thankful for, any young man going somewhere can clearly see he’d be better off with you as his girl. But sometimes women become so boy crazy, they lose themselves, and they can’t see that’s not attractive. You’re smarter than that, and I know that won’t happen to you. And if it has, reprioritize, and you’ll get the guy you want. Take it from a man who has played the field and gotten back in the game. No matter how old, young, crazy, or in love a man is, he wants a woman who gives him his space and allows him to appreciate their time apart so he can long for her and treat her better once they get back together.”

  I got up and hugged him tight. My uncle had given me some crucial advice. Now I could understand the medicine that Covin was trying to give me to cure our weakened relationship. It wasn’t about me learning how to play the game, it was about me understanding that there was more to life than him—there was me. And I needed to get back to loving myself.

  “You mean you got time to go with us to a sorority event?” Teddi sarcastically said to me as I hopped in the car with my line sisters to go to the statewide Founders’ Day Celebration after days of exile.

  “Lay off her,” Quisa said. “She’s in the car already.”

  I had been sulking for the last week. I wasn’t going to defend myself, because I needed to be scolded. “She’s straight,” I said to Quisa. “I deserve it. You get what you give. I haven’t been giving a lot to you guys, so I just have to take it and deal with it.”

  “Well, I don’t wanna hear it,” Quisa responded and turned the music up. “None of us are perfect.”

  When we got to the luncheon at the exquisite hotel downtown, we all were given blue candles representing the blue sapphire in our beloved sorority pin that symbolized our commitment to unending service. As we entered the ballroom, with theater-style seats and decorated in Beta Gamma Pi paraphernalia, I took in its lovely view. Every year during a five-year rotation, a different founder was honored, and that year we focused on that founder’s major passion. This year was the last in the five-year cycle, and we were dwelling on public service, the one thing that had drawn me into Beta Gamma Pi.

  As I listened to our State Director go on and on about giving, a part of my heart boiled over. I had given a lot since I had become a Beta. I’d tried to let others lead, I’d risked my life a few times to help others, and I still wasn’t completely happy. It just seemed like when you gave so much, and for the right reasons, life should be great, life should be grand, and life should render nothing but happiness. If I had to live all the drama, yet I was a good person, a part of me wondered what the heck was the point?

  And just at that moment, the State Director said, “As the flame of public service gets passed throughout the room, let us each recommit ourselves to why we give so freely—just like our founder Louise Lindsey spent her life tutoring underprivileged kids to give them a better chance and giving them piano lessons so they could understand how the arts could help instill greatness in them. I remember Ms. Lindsey saying, ‘Give from the heart and what you’ll receive will be immeasurable.’”

  At that moment, the flame from Teddi’s green candle was pointed to my empty wick. “Thank you for pushing me,” I said to her as our candles united.

  She leaned over to hug me and give me a kiss. “Hailey, you got it going on, girl. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and, more than anything, you care.”

  The State Director continued. “Ladies, I got it. I finally got it. Soror Lindsey taught us that public service doesn’t help just the person in need, but it helps the person who’s giving because you’re stronger and see and understand the miracle of knowing you can’t make it in this life alone. We’re not here to stay. But while we are here, give more than your share, and give more than you take, and you can have true peace.”

  Wow. Now I finally got it. This life wasn’t about me. I enjoyed more when I had an open heart. To feel, care, and love—to truly understand that—was big. Huge. Gargantuan.

  15

  PLAN

  “Okay, so what is the emergency, and why are all these cars here?” I asked myself as I pulled up into my mom’s driveway.

  My mom had called me an hour before and asked me to come over. Though she would not explain the emergency, she did have urgency in her voice. I’d immediately gotten dressed, dropped what I was about to do, and headed her way.

  Driving to her place, so many things were running through my mind. Was my dad okay? Were Hayden and her fiancé having issues? Or did my uncle open his mouth and tell my mom she needed to talk to me? However, all those things were personal, and seeing tons of cars in the yard with Beta Gamma Pi tags on the backs of the vehicles knocked out all those things I was thinking. So what was up? Like a kindergartner gets apprehensive about going to school on the first day, I felt just as weird about going inside.

  As soon as I stepped out of the car, my phone rang. To my surprise, it was Covin. He had been calling me over the past few days, and I hadn’t returned his calls or listened to his messages. It wasn’t about me being rebellious or teaching him a lesson, it was just me taking time out for me and not being so pushy anymore, even when he initiated our time.

  But I didn’t need to fool myself. I did miss him, so I picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”

  “Hey, girl. What’s up? You put me down,” Covin said in a joking way, yet at the same time I knew he was serious.

  “Can I just be honest with you?” I said, looking to the sky for strength.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “I just thought a lot about what you said, and I owe you an apology for being your stalker.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, but I didn’t want you to go MIA on a brother.”

  “I promise you I won’t. Just been busy lately,” I said.

  He said, “So, can I see you? I do need some affection.” No, he didn’t have the nerve to go there, I thought to myself. “Okay, you’re quiet. You’re the one who said we should be honest. I miss you.”

  “Well, I’m at my mom’s right now, so it can’t be tonight.”

  “Okay. What about tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow I got sorority stuff. Sorry.”

  “How about this? Please say Saturday night you’ll go with me to my parents’ house.”

  Now he was freaking me out. He had really surprised me. He had gone from basically wanting a booty call to asking for a first-class date to meet his folks. Was I awake and not dreaming?

  “What? Really? Okay, yeah, I’ll go,” I said. “I’ll call you later so I can get the details.”

  “Okay, cool. And, Hailey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I really do miss you.”

  “Okay,” I said and hung up.

  I actually felt pretty good as I walked through my mom’s front door. My chest was poked out, and I was proud of myself. Though I missed him, too, I didn’t need to let him know it. Again, I hated we had to play gam
es, but now I realized I couldn’t show him all the cards in my hand when I was dealt another round. I was gonna play smarter. And it looked like I was winning.

  As soon as I got inside, my mom said, “There you are, girl. The meeting’s almost over. It took you forever to get here.”

  “Oh, give the girl a break,” one lady said.

  “Hi, everyone!” I said as I waved, still not understanding what any of this was about.

  My mom said, “Hailey, you remember our Chapter President?”

  “Yes. Hello, Soror Walker. You look lovely today,” I said, admiring her St. John purple pants suit.

  “Well, thanks,” Soror Walker said. “We just wanna tell you we think you are a dynamic young lady.”

  I was very skeptical, but I nodded in appreciation. I’d done so much growing up over the last six months. However, I felt far from dynamic.

  “And I don’t know if you know yet, but no one has put their name in the hat to run for the Second National Vice President office at our upcoming convention,” Soror Walker said, smiling at me as though she wanted me to like her plan.

  As I squinted my eyes, I first wondered what any of that had to do with me, but I wasn’t a dummy. The way they were all sort of salivating at the mouth was like they wanted to put me up for that office. I wasn’t too sure about this.

  So before they could go any further, I said, “My sister tried out for that when I was in high school, and it crushed her when she didn’t win. I’m sure there’ll be lots of folks who run on the floor, but I’m not going to be one of them. Thanks though.”

  When I turned around to walk out, my mom stopped me dead in my tracks. “Hailey Grant, get back in here! These ladies came to talk to you, and you’re going to listen.”

  “We can never guarantee a victory,” Soror Walker said in her more presidential voice. “Let me remind you, your sister went at the election with just her collegiate chapter. We want to arm you with ammunition. We wanna get behind you as the alumnae chapter and use all our connections throughout the United States. Some folks owe our chapter some favors. Besides, you helped open our eyes to what this sorority is supposed to be about. Just think about it. But we do need to know by the end of next week so we can get a campaign going and be ready, come May.”

  I thanked them appropriately, fellowshipped with them a little over my mom’s tea and crumpets, and took it all in as I headed back to my campus. I was in awe, wondering if I was even gonna try. Could their plan work, and was I worthy?

  Lord, I prayed, give me direction and help me figure this one out.

  I really had no idea what to do and needed some kind of guidance to get me through this tough decision. He was the only One who could show me the way. I needed it to be shown soon so I’d know where I was headed.

  “Okay, okay, guys, let’s not panic. So what—we’re not completely on target for this project. That doesn’t mean all is lost. We gotta think positive,” I said to my line sisters as we tried to assess where we were with the committee plans.

  Teddi said, “Well, I’m in charge of the finances, and the whole contest is about making it a fund-raiser for our chapter so we could really help Ms. Mayzee’s family. I’m just hoping we break even. That means the little one thousand dollars the chapter gave us to print the invitations, to do the marketing, to buy the decorations for the stage, and so forth would work out well if we could recoup that. No contestant is saying they’re able to raise a lot of money.”

  “Well, Beta Gamma Pi Week is also coming up in a couple months, and the majority of the chapter is working on that. Connie and the rest of the prophytes that said they wanted to help us with this and that when it came down to it haven’t even been to another meeting,” I informed my sisters.

  “See, Hailey?” Teddi stepped in and said. “The only thing I’m saying is that you need to put a hold on the prophytes helping us—even you trying to please the Chapter President, asking her what she thinks of this and that.”

  “Well, I mean, she is the Chapter President, Teddi.”

  Teddi continued. “I know, and it’s great that you want everybody’s opinion, but there’s only us five working this thing. I sorta feel like they want us to fail.”

  “Maybe we should call the whole thing off,” Quisa uttered with a deflated look worse than a balloon with no air.

  “No, guys, we’re not going to cancel this. If it’s just the five of us, we can figure this out. We may not raise as much money as we projected, but we’re not gonna lose money for this chapter either. This idea will work, and you guys know with ticket sales that people splurge at the last minute. Let’s not panic about the price.”

  The four of them kept talking amongst each other, as though all hope was lost. Though I was trying to keep them encouraged, they kept saying one negative thing after another. Yes, we were now in it alone, and maybe they were right. Maybe some people did wanna see us fail. But we were in charge of this contest. We had not abandoned it like our other sisters, and if we pulled together and started working together as hard as we could, we were going to have some great results.

  So I got out a sheet of paper and wrote down the eight candidates’ names we had left. Teddi called out where they were with money, and it looked bleak. Some boys had reported they had sold only one, and a couple said they hadn’t collected a dime.

  “We’ve got to help these guys raise some money. Even if we don’t get them to the minimum we wanted, we need to have everyone bring in something respectable,” I said.

  “No, we can’t do this. College kids don’t have two nickels to rub together to make a dime right now! We need backup,” Teddi said. “I’ve been working with them, and my cup runneth out of ideas.”

  And then it dawned on me: I had just been in a room with all the alumni ladies who were telling me to rely on them if I ever needed something, and right now I needed something bad. They were the queens of throwing a benefit barbecue, a collection car wash, or a bake sale to help raise money. I quickly went through my BlackBerry to find the President’s number.

  “Hello, Hailey Grant,” Soror Walker said without me saying hi myself. “You’re calling to tell me you’re taking us up on our offer.”

  “I’m calling to take you up on your offer, but not the one you’re thinking about,” I responded shyly.

  “Okay, well, explain.”

  “I’m heading the Mr. Beta Gamma Pi contest and we’re raising money to support a struggling family in need, and the contestants need money to stay in school, but the problem is all our gents are having trouble getting their money up. I was just wondering if ...”

  “You want our help? Oh, my gosh, we love those kinds of things, and we’re not doing our annual Pearl contest this year. You were a Pearl a few years back, right?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said, remembering the biannual event they did with high school girls. They had broken up the chapter into groups, depending on how many contestants there were, and each small group looked at it as fun competition to go against their peers to see who could raise the most money. If this was a down year and they didn’t have to do that, those who would be excited to help us would take our contest to a whole different level.

  “Why don’t you and your committee meet us tomorrow night? I will round up some ladies who are willing to help, and we can go from there. Don’t worry—when Betas come together, we can do anything. All is not lost. You all will raise a ton of money. Trust me,” Soror Walker said, confident in her girls.

  When I got off the phone and shared the news with my line sisters, we were all ecstatic. We didn’t know to what degree they could help, but they were going to help. We had a map—we would meet them tomorrow to begin to execute it. We were going to help the King family. We were not going to give up.

  Saturday evening had arrived, and all was great with the world for me. I was doing so great in school. The committee was thriving, working alongside the alumni chapter that was helping to show us how to put together a wonderful event. And on top of
it all, I was in the car with Covin heading to his parents’ house.

  He grabbed my hand and put it on the stick shift as he led me to guide him into second and third gear. Chills went down my spine. He was awfully sexy and clearly into me again. I knew now you couldn’t smother a man—that it was good to stay strong.

  While I was being too quiet to function, he looked over at me and said, “All right, beautiful, what’s going on in your pretty little head? Talk to me.”

  “I’m a little nervous about going to your parents’ house. You know, with meeting the senator and all his friends.”

  “Will you relax, girl? It’s just a little birthday party for me and my dad. It’s no big deal.”

  “Oh, my gosh! It’s your birthday? How didn’t I know? I should’ve gotten your dad something before I came!”

  “Because you haven’t been answering my calls. And besides, my dad wouldn’t want you to get him something anyway. My parents are gonna love you.”

  We drove for about forty miles outside the city to a beautiful, secluded, and gated community. It amazed me how rich people liked to live on the outskirts, away from everyone and everything.

  “Hello, sir. It’s good to have you home,” the guard at the gate said. “Your parents are throwing a big soiree.”

  “Thank you, Henry. This is my girl, Hailey. Hailey, this is a man who takes care of me.”

  “She’s lovely, young sir. You guys enjoy your night,” he said as the gate was lifted.

  When we pulled up to the beautifully manicured, circular drive, there had to be four or five limos out front and all kinds of high-priced cars on the street. I didn’t know how exactly I was going to master fitting in here without being so fidgety. I was trying my best to control my anxiety, but I think it was starting to take over.

  “Okay, this is a lot,” I said to Covin.

  “All you have to do is be you. You can charm anyone with that smile of yours. How about this to calm you down,” he said as he helped me out of the car and kissed me on the lips.