Get What You Give

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Yeah, I’m just ready for it to be over with,” Teddi said. “Are you gonna go meet Sam and get the rest of these checks signed off on?”

  “Yeah. She’s gonna meet me in a little while. Who all needs to be paid?”

  Teddi handed me a sheet that was very well organized, listing the deejay, florists, and caterers who needed to be paid for their services.

  Evan said, “You know, though, there’s still been a lot of talk of what we’re going to do with this money.”

  I was very aware that since we’d had the sorority meeting a week ago, sorors were still grumbling about the funds. It was interesting to me that when they’d thought the project wouldn’t bring in a dime, they hadn’t cared less if we had two legs to stand on. But now that they saw a large sum in the bank, almost every sister was weighing in on what we were giving out. I honestly thought we had squashed this issue and moved past it, but I heard the talk from everyone, even on my dates with Covin.

  “Well, there’s no need to worry,” Quisa said. “They can do all the talking they want. We’re the ones with the contestants’ checks.”

  “That’s true, that’s true,” Evan said. “Right, Hailey? Don’t you have the checks?”

  “No—wrong. Teddi has the checks. And they ain’t going nowhere but in the contestants’ hands and to Ms. Mayzee’s family. I’ll catch up with you guys later on. We can have dinner or something and go over everything one more time, but I think we’re cool. I know this is the first time for this program, and nobody knows how it will turn out, but all the ladies in the house who bought tickets are going to go wild.”

  About thirty minutes later, I was walking into the sorority room. Sam called me out and said, “’Bout time you got here.”

  “I’m a little early, right?”

  “No, I texted you, and told you I needed to meet you fifteen minutes ago because I have a job interview later.”

  Not caring for her attitude when I had been busy doing Beta business, I said, “Oh, well, I was meeting with my committee. Sorry I didn’t get your message.”

  “Well, do you have to get me your report for tomorrow? I mean, like, what is it you need?”

  “We just thought since the day’s going to be hectic tomorrow that we should go ahead and get them signed off on.”

  “The checks? Yeah, I already signed those. I’m glad you brought those up because—”

  “No, no, no. Not those checks. We need the ones for the other people helping us out tomorrow, like the caterers and deejay. It’s all outlined here. I just thought if I could get those invoices to you now, you could get with the Treasurer, and they can be ready by tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, that’s good thinking. Cool.”

  “Thanks. I don’t need to hold you up, so I’ll let you get to your interview.”

  “No, I actually need to talk to you,” Sam said to me before I could get up to leave.

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “I need you to hold those checks that I gave you for the contestants and that family.”

  “Sam, I don’t know what you mean,” I said, my eyes squinted. I was extremely confused and a little annoyed. We had already been there, done that. She’d signed the checks. What did she mean she wanted me to hold them?

  She grunted like I had no right to question and then finally said, “My phone has been ringing off the hook with sorors. Everyone is still not one hundred percent sure that those boys should get the large sums you had me sign those checks for.”

  “Yeah, it was very clear in the package we gave them upfront.”

  “But the guys didn’t raise all the money themselves— they had the majority of the help from our sister chapter. If the guys needed money that bad, they should’ve hustled and raised it. But they didn’t, so we’re entitled to the money.”

  “How do you figure?” I asked her.

  “Do you have the checks? Because I want them back now.”

  “No, I don’t have them.”

  “Well, then, I’ll get them tomorrow.”

  “I don’t know if that’s gonna happen. I’ve got to run this by my committee, and we’ll call you.”

  Sam rolled her eyes and did not even try to understand where I was coming from; she acted like she’d given the last word, and that was it. She was acting like her words were the golden rule. This was a huge mess, and I had less than twenty-four hours to fix it.

  When Sam left and slammed the door, I had steam shooting out of my ears! That was just how mad I was at that power-hungry, control-freak nutcase. Most of the sorors who were tripping over how much money we were giving away were graduating. I mean, my line sisters and I were the ones who had a few more years at Western Smith. If anybody cared about the bottom line, we should.

  But we had made a decision, Sam had signed the checks, the rules had been set, and there was no way I felt comfortable not handing out the checks. My line sisters had just gotten through asking me if we were straight on the money before I had come to see her. I had no idea how they were gonna take this. As a leader, I was supposed to make them go for whatever the Chapter President wanted, right? Not necessarily—particularly when the Chapter President was being irrational and a tyrant.

  As soon as I stepped outside our chapter room, my cell phone rang. Without hesitation, I shouted, “Yes!”

  “What’s up, babe? You okay?” Covin asked through the receiver. His voice instantly calmed me down. “I was just checking to see if I could meet my lady for a quick bite to eat. Do you have time? You should be done with your meeting, right?”

  I really did feel bad because I’d really been putting him on the back burner, and this time it wasn’t any part of a plan. I wanted to see my boo. He had gone from boyfriend to boo when he’d stood up for me with his folks. I wanted to spend time with him. But I was really focused to make sure this project went through how we’d planned. I wanted it to be smooth sailing from here on out, but now I was sitting in the middle of a perfect storm.

  Sensing hesitancy in my voice, Covin said, “Just a real quick bite. It seems like my girl needs me.” He didn’t know how right he was.

  “I’m already on campus. You wanna meet in the café?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be there in ten,” he said to me.

  I was there in five. And as soon as he came through the door, I thought maybe the cafeteria wasn’t the best place for us to spend time alone with each other. He was the SGA President, and he wasn’t being fake or phony when people came up to him and spoke. It was his job, his place to say hello and have small talk about this or that. It took him another ten minutes to make his way over to me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you have a lot going on right now.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, knowing I did have bigger fish to fry, but I really dug seeing him care for the students.

  He kissed me on the cheek, took my hand, and said, “Before we get something to eat, tell me what’s wrong.”

  I took a deep breath and explained everything to him, from Sam’s decision to the stress of the contest. I was in way over my head and needed to find some common ground somewhere.

  When I finished my what-seemed-like-ten-minute speech, Covin shook his head and said, “You are in a pickle.”

  “How am I supposed to tell my girls and the people needing the money that I’m not giving out the checks when I myself know we promised to give them out? What in the world is right in this situation?”

  I put my head on his shoulder and almost came to tears. He stroked my back and said, “Listen. It’s tough being a leader. In your heart, though, is where the right answer lies. Don’t let this defeat you, because when you’re stressed, no good decisions come. Take a breather and meet with your crew. Y’all will work it out together.”

  Immediately, I texted my sands. Then Covin and I ate. It took less than twenty minutes for my line sisters to meet me in the café.

  When I explained to them what had gone down, Teddi stood up and said, “Then I’m not showing up tomo
rrow.”

  Evan stood beside her and said, “Yeah, and when I tell the contestants they won’t be getting any money, they won’t be there either.”

  Quisa contributed to the mess by saying, “If they don’t get their money, I’m not showing up tomorrow.”

  Millie, mainly quiet, spoke out and said, “I know I don’t usually say much, but right is right, and wrong is wrong. I’m with them. No checks, no Millie.”

  My heart dropped like a bottle falls when released off a bridge. I really was caught between a rock and a hard place. I needed them to be at the contest with me, but I couldn’t say I thought it was wrong for them to stand up for what they believed in.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you guys,” I pleaded.

  Teddi looked at me and said, “Well, you gotta figure out a way. Let’s go, girls.”

  I should have been on top of the world right now. It was the night of the Mr. Beta Gamma Pi contest. We’d been planning for it for months, and my line sisters were in the house. So were the boys. So far everything seemed to be in place and going so well. The place was beautifully decorated, and a good vibe was passing through. Yet I had a knot in my stomach so large I could barely breathe. All of a sudden I heard a loud voice angrily yelling across the theater.

  “Oh, no, she didn’t! I cannot believe this!” Sam screamed.

  I had been so shocked when my girls had told me they wouldn’t be at the contest if the checks weren’t passed out. I had asked them what we could do to solve this, because I knew there was no way I could pull this off without them. And with all the drama we’d gone through, people had to see the hard work we’d put in for this event. There was no way this contest wasn’t happening. So I had agreed to something to get my line sisters there, and therein was the issue Sam was upset about.

  “No, Cassidy, get off me! Where is she? Where is Hailey Grant?” Sam shouted at the top of her lungs as Cassidy gave us space.

  “I’m right here,” I said in a low voice as if I was hiding behind a curtain.

  “We need to talk,” she said as she pointed her finger in my face. “Why is Teddi out there giving out the checks I told you to hold?”

  There was no way any of this could end well, but I was really irritated that Sam was acting like we had come to this decision out of the blue. After my committee had told me they wouldn’t come, I had begged them to let me figure something out. I’d proposed we talk to Sam to find a solution. Surely, I’d thought Sam would be open to figuring out something when she learned my line sisters were not going to help with the event. However, we had called Sam four times from four different cell phones. And I wasn’t saying she’d deliberately ignored it, but she had a track record this sororal year of deleting e-mails and staying out of things she didn’t want to be a part of. When we couldn’t get her, we’d talked to Cassidy, who was second in charge, and Cassidy had said she didn’t have any issues with the money. We’d also talked to the Chapter Treasurer, and all the checks had cleared.

  I hadn’t done what I’d wanted to do with the checks—I’d done what I felt I had to do to get my line sisters to come help me pull off this event. I really felt that if Sam had had her way and hadn’t given out her money tonight, she wasn’t going to give what was owed to the boys, and that wasn’t right.

  Sam snarled at me like a grizzly bear. “Don’t you hear me talking to you? Why is she out there giving out the checks I told you to hold back?”

  “We tried calling you—”

  “Eh!” she said, putting her hand up to halt my words. “I don’t wanna hear it. I gave the authority to hold the checks.”

  “Yeah, well, the checks were signed, and they weren’t even in my possession.”

  “Oh, so she’s doing it without your consent? Go outside and tell her you want them back then.”

  “I’m not going to do that.”

  “I just can’t believe you,” Sam said. “This is my chapter!”

  I was so scared, but I wasn’t going to back down. I started arguing with her. I guess we were causing the biggest scene ever because Cassidy came rushing in to try to grab Sam. Then my line sisters followed and tried pulling me back. Connie and her crew were in the same room as all of us behind the stage. They came in and watched.

  The leader of our chapter said, “She’s just gonna do what she wants to do and think I’m not going to have something to say about it!” And then she charged at me.

  It was clear as day that she wanted to beat me down, but I held my ground. If it wasn’t for everyone pulling us apart, who knows what would’ve happened.

  “Come here, bi—” she called out.

  I rushed out of the room when her sharp words tore through me like a steak knife. I felt our sisterhood was over when I exited the theater, and she called me a female dog. Alone, I sat in the stairwell and couldn’t fight the tears.

  Lord, I prayed, there is no excuse as to why I don’t talk to You much. Please forgive me. I do need Your help to figure this out. This is way out of hand.

  When I pulled myself together, I found the three guys who had been given checks and asked for them back. I found Cassidy and handed them to her. “Here.”

  “Hailey, are you okay?”

  “No. She thinks I betrayed her when the only thing I was trying to do was make her proud she elected me chair for our first event.”

  “You can’t worry about all that right now. You have to straighten up and pull it through to the end of the contest.”

  Despite all the drama, Sam and I were on the same stage hours later presenting the winners with their crowns. The packed audience had no clue that hours earlier we had been at odds. Teddi and Evan looked at me from the audience with their thumbs up. Connie was on the left of the stage winking, smiling like she was proud of me or something. I didn’t know what all this was about. I knew it wasn’t about the fact that we had put on a great event but was instead about me not backing away when my Chapter President had tried to jump me. I had brought in some money for the chapter. I’d helped some guys make their way easier. I was gonna be able to bless a family in a big way, yet I hated myself.

  After the curtain went down, Sam eyed me hard and said, “This stuff between us is far from over.”

  As she stormed away, I thought about how life was supposed to be good. But I knew for me it was far from golden.

  18

  PURPOSE

  Shortly after the contest was over, Cassidy called an emergency meeting back at the sorority house.

  “I’m not showing up to no meeting!” Sam yelled out.

  Connie, Cassidy, and the other prophytes walked up to her and said, “You’re coming whether you like it, love it, or none of the above. We all need to talk.”

  As I walked across campus with my line sisters, Teddi said, “Girl, you don’t ever really go after anybody. People think you’re so nice and sweet, but you finally let people know you’re not a punk. You held your own.”

  “Yeah, you go, girl!” Evan said.

  “We need to have her removed,” Quisa uttered. As usual, Millie nodded along with no verbal input.

  The four of them continued to converse about how wrong our Chapter President had been. While I appreciated their loyalty and their love for me, I wasn’t one hundred percent right either. I had been given a direct order by someone elected to govern over our chapter, and I had disobeyed.

  Contrary to what my line sisters felt about the situation, when—minutes later—we walked into the sorority room and Sam was telling people how I had given away checks she’d told me to hold, it was just a mess.

  “Okay, everybody, settle down!” Cassidy shouted over the mixed voices. “This isn’t a formal meeting. Our adviser’s not here, but we definitely needed an emergency session. We can’t even keep our in-house business in house because word is in the streets that we had serious fighting going on.”

  “Well, once everybody found out why I was upset with Hailey,” Sam said when she took the floor, “people have
been cool. I specifically told her to hold those checks.”

  “Yeah, but you’ve been showing your tail all semester. You tried to fight me, Cassidy, and now Hailey. You don’t need to be our President!” Connie blurted out. “I talked to some of our line sisters, and everybody is not with you. We are thinking about going to the Regional Coordinator and getting you removed.”

  The Treasurer said, “Wait a minute. You can’t be mad at just Sam. A letter just came in the mail about the alumni chapter supporting Hailey Grant’s candidacy for Second Vice President at the upcoming convention. She didn’t even tell any of us she was running. No wonder she was working so close with them and trying to get them cool with her. If anyone needs to be ousted, it should be Hailey.”

  I could hear Teddi and Evan getting ready to battle for me. But I touched both of them and stood up myself and said, “Look, I didn’t tell anybody about running for a position because I never agreed to run. I’ll talk to my mom and see what that’s all about—if they even sent out false information about me. However, I doubt it, because an alumnae chapter knows you can only campaign when you have been slated. They would not break rules. You must have misread the letter anyway, because when you’re running from the floor, you can’t send correspondence. I want to see this so-called letter.”

  “Um, well, are you denying it?”

  “Yes, I’m denying that I accepted. And after everything that happened tonight, I don’t deserve to be anybody’s national officer. I can’t speak for Sam—”

  “You daggone right you can’t,” Sam said, cutting me off.

  “But the reason I became a Beta was to make a difference by helping this chapter and our community. Though my decision was partially wrong, I felt it was partially right because I wanted to help Ms. Mayzee’s family, those boys, and our chapter.”

  “She shouldn’t have talked to you the way she did. And you had to protect yourself!” Connie called out.

  “That’s right,” Teddi said.

  “Again, I can only look at myself in the mirror, and at this point I don’t like what I see. I didn’t join this chapter to protect myself against my sister. So you don’t have to overthrow Sam. That’s not in my character. I gave the checks back to Cassidy, so you can do with them however you like. I’m done.” And I walked away to head to my room.