Heavy Turbulence

by Kimberly Fox

  Beach weddings always look beautiful from the future when you’re looking at the photos but in reality, some fucking shade would be nice.

  Still, it’s beautiful enough that it’s worth it. My little cousin, Lucas, is standing at the alter all by himself. He’s got a nervous, excited energy radiating off him. He’s going to do just fine.

  Stephanie is sitting in the back row, looking pissed. I stifle a laugh as she pulls out her phone. My horrible, spoiled cousin has finally met her match it seems. I can’t feel bad for her. She’s had it coming for a long time.

  The music starts and Aaron walks up the sandy aisle with Julia on his arm. How the hell did he ever get a girl as amazing as Tanya?

  How did I?

  And how can I possibly let her go?

  So many questions flow through my head as Cynthia walks up next with two of Lucas’ friends from childhood. She has one on each arm.

  It’s more than just sex with Tanya. I love her energy and she’s funny, smart, kind and sweet. She’d make a great mother and an amazing wife. I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been thinking about these things.

  But why the fuck does she have to live so far?

  It would be hard to move from Chicago with my two businesses but there’s always a way. I can sell them. I’m getting a bit too old for the bar anyway. I don’t need it for the girls anymore. Not if I’m with Tanya. I’d be happy to pass it on to some fresh blood. I’d miss the tattoo shop, however. I do love spending my days making art.

  Cynthia passes and the maid of honor is up next. My breath freezes in my rigid chest when I see her. She looks like an angel. I knew she was beautiful but goddamn! Her hair is up with the same red flower that I slipped behind her ear once upon a time. Her pink dress hugs her body and then flows out at her feet giving her the illusion that she’s gliding over the sand. I lock eyes on her, losing awareness of all my surroundings as she approaches the aisle.

  One day you’ll be walking towards me dressed in white. I promise that. It’s like she heard because she looks away shyly and smiles.

  My heart is pounding like a fucking jackhammer as she approaches.

  “Ahh,” the crowd cheers as everyone stands up. The bride must be there but I can’t take my eyes off of the maid of honor. Everyone is facing the back of the beach except me. I don’t turn around until Tanya reaches her spot at the alter.

  “Look,” she mouths, pointing behind me with a fake, angry look. I wink and do as she commands.

  My cousin’s bride looks beautiful but still pales in comparison to the woman she’s going to be standing next too. Everyone is staring at her, except for Stephanie who is still looking down at her phone.

  Megan’s parents are smiling proudly and her dad wipes a tear away as he gives his daughter over to her new groom. She’s a good one and I know that she’s going to make my cousin happy.

  Lucas is crying as he shakes his new father-in-law’s hand. He was always a big softy growing up. I had to warn more than a few kids that he was off limits for teasing and bullying. I even had to smash a few stubborn faces to really get my point across. After that, nobody touched him.

  Megan steps up and takes his hand and they both giggle like a bunch of dorks. He’s so happy and I couldn’t be happier for them. They go so great together.

  Tanya is beside Megan wiping a tear away from her cheek. She catches my eye and her chin trembles before she catches herself and turns it into a smile. She focuses on the bride and groom but something about that look sticks with me and makes my stomach roll. That look felt like sadness.

  I recognize it because I’m feeling the same thing.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Tanya

  Day Six

  We take pictures for hours. Well, not literally hours but it feels like it. In three years they’ll probably have one picture up of just the bride and groom in their hallway and all of this sweat and fake smiling will be worthless. Just collecting dust in a box somewhere under the stairs in the basement.

  But honestly, it is pretty fun. I feel like a model for the first time in my life.

  The photographer makes the groomsman lift up the groom and the bridesmaids lift up the bride. The bride doesn’t get past our shoulders while Lucas is high in the air. Julia falls into the sand and Megan is laughing so hard that she almost pees her dress.

  “Just the bride and groom now,” the photographer says, waving us away.

  “Finally,” I gasp. I need some shade. And a drink.

  Julia reads my mind. “Let’s get a drink!”

  Cynthia hooks her arm around Julia’s. “Coming, Tanya?” Cynthia asks.

  Julia is looking at the tall, sexy man leaning against a palm tree who’s staring at me. “What do you think?” she asks.

  Cynthia giggles. “Oh, she’s going to get a tall drink of a muscular bad boy.” They shuffle off to the bar giggling as they go.

  Ethan watches me as I walk up to him. “Your friends laughing at me?” he asks with a smile.

  “You seem to have that effect on girls,” I answer. “Maybe instead of Mr. Trampoline they should call you Mr. Laughing Gas.”

  He rubs his chin and looks up. “Doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

  I give him a long hug and he kisses the top of my head, breathing in the smell of my hair. “I’ve missed you,” he whispers.

  “Me too.”

  Neither of us wants to say what we’re both thinking. If we can’t go a few hours without missing each other how can we go days or weeks?

  He pushes me away and hold me at arm’s length. “Oh,” he says, his face in panic. “You look phenomenal.”

  “Really?” I ask, feeling shy all of a sudden.

  “As gorgeous as an angel and as tempting as the devil,” he says.

  I smile. “Where did you get that cheesy line?”

  “The book, remember?” he asks. “All Angels Fall.”

  I hug him again. He’s perfect.

  We hold hands and watch Megan and Lucas as they pose for the pictures. “They look so happy don’t they?” I ask.

  Ethan pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. “I wonder if that will ever be us.”

  “Really?” I ask, my body going rigid. “I didn’t think that you were the marrying type.”

  “I wasn’t,” he says. “Until I met you. Now I can see myself with it all. The house, the kids, the minivan, the food fights.”

  I smile as his words sink in. “I could see you with kids.” And I could. I would like to see a little girl with auburn hair sitting on his shoulders.

  He squeezes me tight and kisses the top of my head. “We’ll see what happens.”

  Yeah. We’ll see.

  “This is even better than I imagined,” Megan says as we’re sitting at the head table looking out at the sun setting over the ocean. The guests are eating, drinking and chatting at the tables in front of us in the sand. It really is a beautiful wedding.

  Stephanie is sitting in the back at the kid’s table sulking with her arms crossed. She hasn’t smiled once.

  Megan nudges me with her elbow. “I’m sorry you’re stuck next to me kid.”

  “Are you kidding?” I say. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  She leans in close. “Even sitting on Mr. Muscles’ face?” she whispers.

  “Well, maybe one place,” I say and we both start laughing.

  “Have you talked about what’s going to happen?” she asks.

  My eyes dart to where Ethan is sitting with his aunt and uncle. He glances over at me as he takes a sip of wine and I turn away.

  “It’s just a vacation fling,” I say, pretending like I’m not holding back tears.

  Megan tilts her head. “No, it’s not, Tanya. I can see it. You really like him.”

  Ethan glances back at me and winks while he’s talking to his uncle. One little wink and I feel my cheeks heat up.

  “And he really likes you too,” Megan says.

  I shrug. “He’s a player. He
’s like that with all of the women he’s with.”

  “Yeah but you’re not like the other women,” she says. “Even Lucas said that he’s never seen Ethan so taken with a girl before.”

  “Really?” I whisper, not sure if I believe it but my heart starts pounding anyway. “But we live in different states and we haven’t made any plans.” I take a deep breath and try to stop my chin from trembling. “And he’s leaving tomorrow.”

  Megan grabs my hand under the table and squeezes it. “So make it work,” she says firmly. “If you want it that bad then don’t let it slip through your fingers. Go after it.” She leans in and smiles. “I want to make a speech at your wedding.”

  My face drops and the salad that I just ate starts to creep back up my throat. “What?”

  Megan lowers her fork and looks at me in confusion. “What?”

  “A speech?”

  Megan bursts out laughing. “You didn’t write a speech? The maid of honor always says a speech!”

  I rub my sweaty palms down my dress. “Stephanie was your maid of honor until yesterday. I completely forgot.”

  Megan can’t stop giggling. “This is going to be great!” Her eyes are sparkling as she picks up her fork and starts hitting her water glass.

  “What are you doing?” I ask in panic. Everyone is turning towards us.

  Megan just ignores me and clears her throat. “Excuse me, everyone,” she says, addressing the guests. “Tanya would like to make the maid of honor speech now.”

  “You fucking bitch,” I whisper as I push my chair back.

  Megan is giddy. “I love you too.”

  I close my eyes as I stand up. When I open them I have to grab the back of Megan’s chair so that I don’t fall over. I clear my throat and stare at the crowd seeing nothing but blurry faces looking back at me. “Thank you all for coming…uh…” I mutter, trying to stumble my way through it. Megan is covering her mouth with her napkin as her shoulders shake in laughter.

  I lock eyes on Ethan and just let it go. “Sometimes love will find you in the most unusual of places and hit you when you least expect it. Sometimes it’s inconvenient and there are massive challenges in between that love.”

  Ethan is watching me and listening intently.

  “Sometimes it doesn’t feel possible,” I continue. “Sometimes it feels like there are too many obstacles in the way. But love always finds a way. Sometimes you have to take a chance on love. Just jump in with both feet and let it take you wherever it takes you.”

  Ethan nods his head as he listens. I am talking to him after all.

  It’s time to get back to Megan and Lucas. This speech is supposed to be for them.

  “My best friend has found that love in Lucas,” I say, turning to Megan who’s thankfully stopped laughing now that I seem to be pulling it off. “And I’m so happy for both of them. I can’t wait to see where their love takes them now that the obstacles and challenges are out of the way.”

  I raise my glass and the crowd follows me, lifting whatever they’re drinking in the air. “Here’s to smooth sailing for our fearless couple from now on,” I say. “I love you two so much.”

  The crowd cheers and everyone drinks. Ethan and I stare at each other as we sip our wine.

  Aaron jumps out of his seat at the head table and rushes back towards the resort. Where the hell is he going?

  After dinner, I’m hanging out at the bar when a sexy stranger walks over. “Nice speech,” Ethan says.

  He hugs me and I melt into his arms. “It was a little cheesy,” I say, feeling embarrassed.

  “No,” he says, leaning back and gazing into my eyes. “It was perfect.”

  The bartender hands me a tequila sunrise and gives Ethan a beer. I bite down on the straw as he takes a sip of his lager.

  “What’s going to happen with us?” I blurt out. I can’t hold it in anymore. I have to know one way or the other.

  Ethan lowers his beer and takes a deep hissing breath.

  “Great speech, Tanya!” Mr. Carson says, butting in. At the worst possible time, I might add. “That was so eloquently said.”

  “Excuse me,” Ethan says. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

  My heart stops as he slips away and disappears through the crowd. I try to listen to Megan’s dad but I can’t stop wondering what Ethan was going to say. What did that breath mean?

  After I do a lot of nodding and forehead staring Mr. Carson moves on. I walk over to the pool to get some air. Ethan is still not back.

  The sun is pretty much set with just a few glimmers of dim light left glowing onto the night sky. The pool lights flicker on as I take a seat under a palm tree and close my eyes. I focus on my breathing and not the feeling of pain in my chest.

  A hand touches mine and I open my eyes hoping that it’s Ethan. It’s not.

  Aaron is standing in front of me holding a little blue box. He takes a deep breath and drops to one knee.

  “Oh, you got to be kidding me.” This guy doesn’t take a hint.

  “I made a mistake, Tanya,” he says with the box open and a diamond engagement ring looking back at me. “When I heard you talking about taking a chance on love it hit me. I’ve taken you for granted and I won’t ever make that mistake again. Sure we’ve had some obstacles in our path-”

  “Like you fucking Stephanie all week,” I say, interrupting him.

  He shakes his head, flustered. “Yes…That and…others. But I’m ready to move on and look towards the future. Our future. Together.”

  I close the box in his hand. “I’m really glad that you’re ready to move on. But it’s a little hard for me to do the same when you had your skinny dick in another girl only a few hours ago.”

  Aaron gets up and stomps his foot like a little kid. “Oh come on! You’ve been fucking that guy all week!”

  I’ve had enough of this conversation. “That’s right!” I say, standing up. “And his dick is amazing. Way better than your small, thin little prick. He knows how to give it properly.”

  I start walking back to the party leaving him in my past where he belongs. “This is your last chance,” he calls out to me. “You walk away from me now and you’re walking away from me forever.”

  I hold my hand up over my shoulder and give him the finger without turning.

  He’s not the guy who I was hoping would propose. But at least I have a backup if I’m still single when I’m seventy…eh, maybe sixty.

  I finally find Ethan. He’s sitting alone on the beach watching the waves. I sit down beside him and neither of us says a word. We just watch the ocean in silence.

  He’s the one who finally speaks first. “I’ve been sitting here picturing myself going back to my old life. Going back to my job, townhouse, and going on without you and I can’t do it. I can’t picture going forward without you.”

  His words make my heart swell up in my chest. “So what do you suggest?” I whisper in a tiny little voice.

  “I don’t know,” he says, picking up a handful of sand and letting it leak through the cracks between his fingers. “I don’t know what to tell you. Except, that this has been one of the best weeks of my life and I don’t want it to end.” He turns and looks at me for the first time. “I love you, Tanya.”

  Wow. His words hit me like a brick wall. I wasn’t expecting that and it takes me a few seconds to recover. I’ve been hiding it from myself all week but I feel the same way.

  “I love you too,” I whisper back.

  “I know,” he says and I burst out laughing.

  “You’re so cocky,” I say, slapping his arm.

  “I want to be with you and see where this goes,” he says after the laughter dies down. “I’m willing to do what it takes. I’ll sell my businesses and come live by you or you are welcome to come live with me. I’ll do whatever you want. I just know that if I let this go I’ll be regretting it for the rest of my life. I’ll be an old man wondering how my life would have been different, how much better it could have been if I
had taken a chance with you. What do you think?”

  I lean my head back and wince. “This is a little awkward but I was just in it for the sex.”

  He drops his head forward. “Ouch.”

  “I’m kidding,” I say. “I’m in. I’ll do whatever it takes too. This is too good to let go of.”

  “Really?” he asks, his face lighting up.

  I nod. “Yeah. Really.”

  “Good,” he says, taking a relieved breath. “Because I already bought a plane ticket to come see you next weekend.”

  “Ha!” I laugh, kissing him on the lips. “That’s amazing!”

  He holds my hand in the sand and looks out at the vast ocean before us. “We’ll make it work.”

  I rest my head on his shoulder feeling better than I have all week. “And it’s going to be epic.”

  We sit in comfortable silence watching the last rays of the sun disappear completely and for the first time this week I think that everything is going to work out just fine.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ethan

  Day Six

  I slap my forehead and laugh at my new girlfriend’s ridiculous choreographed dance moves. She’s laughing hysterically as Megan, Cynthia, Julia and her, flop and trip across the dance floor in the world’s worst synchronized dance. She’s so embarrassing. But I love her.

  Lucas hands me a shot and then drunkenly runs back to the bar for more. I slam the shot and go join my girl, shaking my hips and copying her dorky moves.

  I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to visit her next week and see her apartment and see her life. And I can’t wait for the weekend after that where she’ll come to Chicago and I’ll show her mine. I didn’t tell her yet but I already booked her flight too. Basically, I can’t wait for the future because any future with Tanya is going to be an exciting one.

  Aaron taps the microphone and stands by the DJ table swaying from side to side. He’s drunker than a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s day.