House on Endless Waters

by Emuna Elon

  He decided he would buy a present (a little dress? a soft toy?) for Zohar’s baby, to try to remember (or to ask Bat-Ami) what the baby’s name is, and to show some interest in her well-being, as well as to ask after Zohar’s health and to tell her that he is proud of her.

  He saw darkness fall, saw the lights coming on in the windows. And inside the windows he saw living spaces framed by walls and padded with protective layers of pictures and lamps, dining tables and rugs, dishes and books and vases of flowers. On one window ledge he saw two jars, one in which paintbrushes were waiting and in the other tubes of paint. And in Martin’s art shop, which is now a real estate agency, he saw people inspecting apartments for purchase or rent and maybe signing an agreement. The brown café on the corner was also filling up, and as he passed its entrance he heard Our Lady’s bell and counted six rings, and saw Vij laughing behind the brown counter and near her the box of roasted walnuts and the basket of hard-boiled eggs.

  His sunflower had long ago withered in its green bottle. He was sorry he couldn’t at least take the orchid home, but he presented it to Josephine and she gave him an embarrassed, tearful embrace.

  As he left the hotel, dragging his suitcase and his shoulder bag to the cab that was about to take him to the airport, he almost bumped into two slim young girls who were just coming off the street and walking down the steps to the lobby. As they passed him, he heard one turn to her friend and say in Hebrew, I can’t believe it! That’s Yoel Blum the writer. Did you see?

  * * *

  He wants to write this book like Vincent van Gogh painted: to pour the colors generously, knead them with his paintbrush as if he were molding clay, and form the contours of his soul layer upon layer upon layer. He wants, like Vincent, not to be afraid to take a sheet of paper on which he has drawn a city street or a bird’s nest, to turn it over and paint another self-portrait on the other side. Like Vincent, he wants to also work outside, even in the wind and the rain, so that the day will come when within the layers of his portraits, grains of earth and stalks of grass will be found.

  And he wants his new novel to resemble Vincent’s painting in which, in a low, wide format shaped like a basement window, pear trees are wrapped in the light of dusk and gold sparkles through their branches onto a fading path.

  * * *

  In the line at the Israeli airline counter, a group of elderly, stocky Dutch people are waiting, apparently happy to be traveling to the Holy Land and joking between them in their muddy, gravelly language. An Israeli standing behind him asks his wife why women must always be carrying things in a bag or in a womb. And another man, who looks like one of those high-tech successes that Israel prides itself on, sums up his conversation with the success standing next to him with: There’s nothing we can do. We’re an island, and the sea is the good side of this island.

  On his way to the departure gate, Yoel ponders the identical methods that control all the airports in the world. About how all the terminals are so similar to one another that, on the way to the boarding gate, it is hard to remember in which country one is and to where one is going. And how the seriousness with which human beings adhere to the system and cling to the appearance of law and order is so touching although, like the figures in Escher’s engraving of the infinite house that keep walking and walking to nowhere, each and every person is also going to his gate and to his plane seat to fly from point to point on a tiny planet that is rotating about itself, and the only route on which they are really progressing is the one leading to their deaths.

  But as he approaches the gate that the square of paper that he has been given leads him to, he sees an aquarium sunk into the marble wall of the departure hall, and a little boy, almost just a baby, is standing below the aquarium, stretching out a toddler’s hand toward the ornamental fish swimming in the transparent container and chirping: Fishies! I wanna see the fishies! And his young parents hear his voice amid all the chaos and go up to him, and his mother glows as his father picks him up in his strong arms so he can see the fish better.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  This book uses facts and data from a variety of sources, including the books I Believed I Would Speak: Memories and Testimony by Shlomo Samson (Mass Publications, Hebrew), Damaged Lives: Conversations with Dutch Jews Who Gave Their Children to Strangers During the Holocaust by Dr. Bloeme Evers-Emden (self-published, Dutch and Hebrew), and from the collection of video testimonies in the Yad Vashem Archives.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  My thanks to Renée Sanders, Amsterdam. To Dr. Bloeme Evers-Emden, Amsterdam. To Yael Stern, Amsterdam. Thanks also to Mr. Joop Sanders, former secretary general of the Amsterdam Jewish Community, and to the staff of the Library and Resource Center at the Jewish Historical Museum (JHM) in Amsterdam.

  My thanks to my partners in the “Ta’azumot Hanefesh” journey to Poland (June 2013), to Rabbi Avraham Kriger, and the Shem Olam Institute.

  I am grateful to Shlomo Samson, Tirza Levy, Rivka Kahana, Hadassah Nir, Hannah Goldberg, and Bakol Serlui.

  I thank Professor Yigal Schwartz, Noa Menheim, Ruth Elon, Yael Maly, and Batsheva Peli Seri.

  My gratitude also to Linda Yechiel, Nilli Cohen, and Daniella Wexler.

  I am profoundly appreciative of the support given to me by my children and their families. The English edition of this novel is dedicated to the memory of my beloved husband, Rabbi Benny Elon, and of our own house on endless waters.

  House on Endless Waters

  Emuna Elon

  This reading group guide for House on Endless Waters includes an introduction, discussion questions, ideas for enhancing your book club, and a Q&A with author Emuna Elon. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.

  Introduction

  At the behest of his agent, renowned author Yoel Blum reluctantly agrees to visit his birthplace of Amsterdam to promote his books, despite promising his late mother that he would never return to that city. While touring the Jewish Historical Museum with his wife, Yoel stumbles upon a looping reel of photos offering a glimpse of prewar Dutch Jewry, and is astonished to see the youthful face of his beloved mother staring back at him, posing with his father, his older sister . . . and an infant he doesn’t recognize.

  This unsettling discovery launches him into a fervent search for the truth, shining a light on Amsterdam’s dark wartime history and the underground networks that hid Jewish children away from danger—but at a cost. The deeper into the past Yoel digs, the better he understands his mother’s silence, and the more urgent the question that has unconsciously haunted him for a lifetime—Who am I?—becomes. Evocative, insightful, and deeply resonant, House on Endless Waters is an unforgettable meditation on identity, belonging, and the inextricable nature of past and present.

  Topics & Questions for Discussion

  1. Do you think Yoel is right to visit Amsterdam despite his mother telling him not to? Why or why not?

  2. After Yoel and his wife, Bat-Ami, see the images in the museum of Yoel’s mother, he is plagued with questions. However, when he returns to his hotel room afterward, he doesn’t call his sister, Nettie, to tell her what he just discovered. Why is he so reluctant to tell Nettie what he learned?

  3. We learn that Yoel was the only one who didn’t know about the other sibling. Why do you think his mother and sister kept this from him? Do you agree with their decision? Why or why not?

  4. Yoel begins to contemplate all the relationships around him, including the one with his wife, daughters, and grandchildren. Why does the revelation about his mother instigate this? What does it say about the relationship we maintain with our mothers?

  5. Why would Yoel’s mother always remind him that “You’ve got a mother and you’ve got a sister and you’ve got yourself. That’s all; nothing else matters”?

  6. Do you agree with Yoel’s m
other’s decision to isolate them from making friends and partaking in “the great human celebration”? Why or why not?

  7. On page 60, it reads: “And he’s sure that great danger is hovering over him: that they, all the people passing by in the street right now, can see he’s a Jew and they’re determined to murder him.” Why does Yoel suddenly become paranoid about being Jewish in Amsterdam?

  8. Yoel picks the smallest room in his hotel with a balcony. What purpose does this serve in his writing process?

  9. When Sonia is first introduced, who do you think she is? How does your perspective change as you keep reading?

  10. Does it make Sonia selfish when she says that “their life is complicated enough without being overburdened with what is going on in other places”? Why or why not?

  11. As a child, Yoel didn’t eat unless spoonfed by his mother. What did you think about his character after learning this? What did you think about his mother’s personality?

  12. Do you think Raphaels’s anger at his parents, biological and nonbiological alike, is justified or should he understand he was given away for his own safety? Why or why not?

  13. What does the oak tree that Sonia notices growing horizontally in the park symbolize?

  14. Sonia’s nursing friend Bett tells her about how she and her husband gave their child away but changed their mind. But by this time, the child could not be found. If you were in their shoes, would you give your child away, too?

  15. Sonia expresses resentment toward Sebastian, a toddler, one day when she encounters Anouk with him on the stars at their house. What does it say about Sonia’s character to feel such animosity toward an innocent child? How does this make you feel?

  Enhance Your Book Club

  1. Spend some time with Emuna Elon’s 2007 novel, If You Awaken Love, and see if you can discover any similar themes between the two books.

  2. House on Endless Waters takes place in Amsterdam and has many scenes in the Jewish Historical Museum. Take a moment to do some research on the history of Jewish heritage in Amsterdam. You can start here: https://www.amsterdam.info/jewish/.

  3. The relationship between mother and child can sometimes be very complex. Explore this with your book club: What was your relationship like with your own mother? Did you learn anything about your mother that surprised you? If your mother has passed, were you left with any unanswered questions? How has your relationship with your mother affected you as an adult?

  A Conversation with Carol Anshaw

  Why did you decide to write House on Endless Waters?

  Actually, it’s not me who decides which story I am going to write. A new novel occurs to me when a specific character begins to gain control over my thoughts, followed by glimpses of images, phrases, and visions. Then I feel a powerful urge to start writing in order to find out what’s going on.

  House on Endless Waters began with two characters: lonely, caged-within-himself Yoel on one side, and young vivacious Sonia on the other. At first I didn’t know if there was any connection between the two of them, but I sensed that there was a personal secret that Yoel needed to reveal. When I spent a few days in Amsterdam, which was initially just another beautiful city I enjoyed visiting, I was stunned to see the past—Yoel and Sonia’s past—come to life right before my eyes.

  What sort of historical research informed the book?

  My extensive research included reading books, articles, and other archival materials and watching filmed testimonies concerning Dutch history, Dutch Jewry, and Holland during World War Two. I also interviewed Dutch Holocaust survivors and children of survivors, trying to understand not only the historical facts but also their long-term implications. And I spent long periods of time in Amsterdam, taking in the sites and absorbing the atmosphere in which the story takes place.

  As I worked on the story of Yoel’s stay in Amsterdam, alone in a shabby hotel overlooking the neighborhood, I too stayed alone in the exact same setting, and many of his daily experiences were derived from my own.

  Did any of the research surprise you?

  Many of my findings surprised me, especially since beforehand I was under the (mythical) impression that Jews in Holland met a comparatively “good fate” during the Holocaust.

  I was especially astonished to learn about Holland’s hidden Jewish children, and to realize that many of their stories have remained murky and untold to this very day.

  What inspired you to explore the mother-son relationship at the center of House on Endless Waters?

  I think family ties are always fascinating, and mother-child relationships are one of the world’s greatest mysteries. I find myself drawn to this mystery in every story I read or write, and can’t say I have figured it out even now, when my own mother is no longer alive and I myself am the mother of six wonderful children who have already become six wonderful adults.

  What motivated you to structure the novel as a story within a story?

  Amsterdam has not changed for many years, so when I was there it was really natural for me to see the story of the city’s past come to life within the story of the present.

  Another reason for this structure was that Yoel Blum had to use his imagination in order to fill in the gaps of the story his sister told him. I knew that he had to be a storyteller, a writer, and that my novel would describe the writing process of his novel.

  What was the most difficult aspect of writing this book?

  I doubted my ability to tell a story from the perspective of a male protagonist, and I tried to switch to a female one but couldn’t bring myself to reject Yoel Blum’s plea that I write him. I felt a little more confident when my [Israeli] publisher promised me that the book would have a male editor, and I was more than relieved when that editor, professor of Hebrew literature Yigal Schwartz, gave Yoel’s thoughts and motions his unreserved approval.

  Have you ever discovered anything shocking about your own family history?

  When House on Endless Waters was published in Dutch (under the title Sonia’s Son), I met with an audience in Amsterdam and someone asked me: “If Yoel Blum is a writer, why did he ask you to write his story rather than do it himself?”

  That was when I decided it was time for me to write my own family history, which is what I am working on right now. I don’t know if I will discover anything shocking, though I am already shocked by the mere realization of how little I know about the lives that yielded mine.

  What are you hoping to leave your readers with?

  I think my hopes are fulfilled when readers tell me that they feel as if this story is about them. We haven’t all been through the exact same experiences that Yoel or Sonia have, but just like them, each and every one of us walks alone in this world. Each one of us reaches out to be loved and understood. Each one of us craves belonging and searches for meaning.

  I felt rewarded when a woman told me that reading this book helped her comprehend her mother’s behavior throughout the years; when a man said it gave him a new, more forgiving perspective of himself; and when a young mother confided that after she finished reading the book, with tears running down her cheeks, she went over to her child and gave him a big hug.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Emuna Elon is an internationally bestselling, critically acclaimed Israeli novelist, journalist, and women’s activist. Born in Jerusalem to a family of prominent rabbis and scholars, she was raised in Jerusalem and New York. She teaches Judaism, Hasidism, and Hebrew literature. Her first novel translated into English, If You Awaken Love, was a National Jewish Book Award finalist.

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  ALSO BY EMUNA ELON

  Beyond My Sight

  Inscribe My Name

  If You Awaken Love

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2016 by Emuna Elon

  Originally published in Israel in 2016 by Kinneret Zmora-Bitan Dvir

  English translation © 2020 by Emuna Elon

  Published by arrangement with The Institute for the Translation of Hebrew Literature

  Supported by: “Am Ha-Sefer”—The Israeli Fund for Translation of Hebrew Books

  The Cultural Administration, Israel Ministry of Culture and Sport

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