Breathe Into Me

by Michelle Betham

  “Marriage number two going well, then?”

  She laughed quietly as she refilled her already half-empty glass. “And yours is all moonlight and roses, huh?”

  Aaron narrowed his eyes. “My marriage has got nothing to do with you, Rita.”

  She shrugged as she swallowed down a good mouthful of wine. “So, it doesn’t bother you, then? That you’re about to spend all that time with your wife’s ex-husband? It doesn’t bother you that she’s out there, now, walking the same red carpet as him? Without you holding her hand?” She walked back over to Aaron, a slight smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. “Because I heard a whisper that Quinn’s just signed on as the new leading lady in your movie. The movie that Lukas Drake is directing. The movie that Lukas Drake is also co-starring in. And isn’t that gonna make one hell of an interesting love triangle, right there. Baby, Hollywood is gonna be hot for you guys for months to come.”

  Aaron stayed quiet, draining his beer and immediately fetching a fresh one from the fridge.

  “Did I hear right, Aaron? Is Quinn gonna be starring in this movie with you and Lukas? Is that really happening?”

  “I think it’s time you went home, Rita. It’s late, and I really need to get some sleep. It’s another long day on-set tomorrow, and you don’t want to be all stale and tired either, do you? For our final day of filming.”

  “You’re aware of their history, aren’t you?” She wasn’t giving up until she’d sown the seed. Rita Delgardo had connections. She had contacts, people in the know. People who knew answers to the questions she’d asked.

  “What history are you talking about?” Aaron sighed. He just wanted her to go now. He needed her to go. He wanted to be alone – to think; to dwell on everything that could be happening out of his sight?

  “That movie they made together – Lukas and Quinn. The one that sky-rocketed their Hollywood careers into the stratosphere, you remember that movie? The one with the rumor about that hot and heavy sex scene?”

  “She told me nothing happened, Rita.”

  “And you believe her?” Rita raised an eyebrow as she took another sip of wine.

  “It was all hype. Jesus, you know how this place works. They make it look real, they shoot from certain angles, they piece bits together…”

  “That entire scene was shot in one take, Aaron. One very long, very real take. Come on, you must’ve watched the movie. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t.”

  Aaron’s eyes narrowed again, his fingers tightening around the neck of the beer bottle.

  “I know people who worked on that movie. Oh, I know it was twenty years ago now, but they still remember exactly what went on. Not everyone realized what was happening, of course, and for a couple of novice young actors they sure managed to hide it well. But he was fucking your future wife, Aaron. His future wife, because, let’s not forget, he had her first. In a very public way. Lukas Drake was fucking your future wife, right there, on-screen, and how many people have watched that scene now, huh? How many people have watched them actually having sex? Millions. Possibly more. I mean, that scene’s still getting countless internet hits every day. So, yeah, it was real. It was very real. And it did happen.”

  “You don’t know that for sure. Whoever told you…”

  “The director knew what was going on, Aaron. He’d talked about it with the two of them, he’d sanctioned it. He’d just decided that keeping the mystery made for way better publicity than actually coming out with the truth. So, it was planned. It was intentional. They meant to fuck for real. And their plan worked because, Jesus, Hollywood hadn’t seen a rise to fame happen so quickly for two virtually unknown actors in decades.”

  “Yeah. You need to go now, Rita. I’ve had enough of your shit.”

  She put down her glass and stood right in front of him, stopping him from walking away. “And then there was their off-screen relationship which, let’s be honest, was just as hot and heavy as their on-screen one. Until Lukas fucked it all up, of course, but… Hey! What d’you know? He came back. He pulled himself together, and now he’s going to be…”

  “Get out.”

  Rita laughed, standing her ground. The seed was sown, she’d just wanted to be sure it went deep enough. She wasn’t here to do half a job. “Watch the movie, Aaron.”

  “I’ve seen the movie. I don’t need to…”

  “Watch it again. But watch it a little more closely. See just what it was that your wife and her ex did in the name of publicity. And then ask yourself, why is she going back there? Why is she deliberately putting herself in a situation where the spotlight is gonna be on you guys for months? When the questions and the rumors are gonna be flying. Why does she suddenly want to see Lukas again, after all this time?”

  “I want you to leave, Rita. Now.”

  She just threw him a slow smile that irritated the hell out of him, before she turned and walked away, without looking back.

  Aaron waited until he heard the front door slam shut before he headed into the den, where he began rifling through the shelves of DVDs and Blu-Ray discs that lined the walls, until he found it. The first movie Quinn had ever made – Wicked Game – a tough, unforgiving film that she’d taken and rode with and shown the world the kind of actress she was about to become. Had she really needed to do what Rita had told him she’d done?

  Sliding the disc into the player he stood back from the screen and skipped forward to the scene in question, his hand shaking slightly as he gripped the remote. He’d only just turned seventeen when this movie had been released. The group of friends he’d been with, they’d only really gone to see it because it had been a movie that had promised sex and violence and a fair dose of nudity. And he could still remember to this day how he’d felt as he’d watched Quinn up there, on the big screen; how the sight of her lying there, naked, had given him a hard-on he’d managed to hide with the comic book he’d brought in with him. And he’d had no idea that, one day, he was going to be sleeping next to that incredible body. That she was going to be his wife. That he’d get to make love to her, hold her; tell her he loved her, because he did. He loved her, like fucking crazy. And as he watched her now, he felt a pain shoot across his chest. She’d been so young. Twenty years old, and just as beautiful as she was now, but in a different kind of way. There’d been an innocence surrounding her, and it killed him to think she’d been so ready to throw that away before her first movie had even wrapped. She’d had a presence back then that had been hard to ignore. It was obvious to everyone who’d watched her that she’d been destined only for star status; both her and Lukas Drake. Two huge risks that had paid off big time. Because of what they’d done?

  Aaron continued to watch as Lukas appeared in shot beside Quinn. He watched as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, slowly at first, before that kiss turned harder, rougher, and the sight of them together caused Aaron to briefly look away. But he had to see this. He had to see for himself if Rita was telling the truth. So he kept watching as Lukas stripped her naked, tearing her clothes away from her body in an almost violent manner, throwing her down on the bed, the electricity between them sparking off the screen. Narrowing his eyes slightly he moved a little closer to the TV, and the realization that what Rita had told him – it was becoming increasingly obvious that she was right. And that pain in his chest spread to his gut and he had to take a second to breathe. There’d been no cuts in this scene, not so far. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? And it wasn’t like he hadn’t heard the rumors, he just hadn’t paid them any attention, even when he and Quinn had got together. He’d just never looked all that closely, until now. Because he hadn’t wanted to? But now – now he could see the reality.

  The camera traveled up and down Lukas and Quinn’s naked bodies, focusing on their bucking hips, Quinn’s heaving breasts, Lukas’s mouth covering her nipple, his tongue flicking over it, her moans filling the silence of Aaron’s office. It was the hardest thing he’d ever had to watch now. It was breaking his heart, b
ut he couldn’t look away, not yet. And it was the close up of her face that finally caused Aaron’s heart to crumble. The way her mouth was slightly open, her eyes closed, her head thrown back slightly. He felt sick; physically sick, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn it off. He was still fooling himself that the proof wasn’t solid, so he needed to keep watching; the way Lukas pulled her down onto him, the small cry of pleasure she gave followed by a sigh of contentment as she ground her hips against him, it was tearing Aaron apart, piece by piece. You really couldn’t tell if Lukas was inside her or not, it was impossible to judge, because of the angle they were shooting from. But from what Aaron had seen, together with what Rita had told him, he knew. It looked real enough. It was always going to look real enough, which was why this movie was still a talking point twenty years on. Ten minutes that had elevated it to almost cult status. And Aaron knew that now Quinn and Lukas were set to work together again – he knew this was something that was going to haunt him; haunt his marriage, for a long time to come. What he had to work out now was, just how the hell he dealt with that.

  Nineteen Years Earlier

  “You look incredible,” Lukas whispered, coming up behind her, his hands on her hips as she stared at her reflection. Tonight was the L.A. premiere of Wicked Game – the first time she and Lukas were to step out in public together to start the rollercoaster ride of promo and publicity that was set to carry on for a good few months as they traveled America, visited cities in Asia, Europe, Australia. Together. And the media were crying out for them, both of them. Their off-screen relationship was the talk of Hollywood. They were love’s young dream, this hot new couple who were about to be catapulted to dizzying heights of stardom. And Quinn didn’t think she’d ever felt happier. She was so much in love with Lukas Drake it was terrifying. They slept together, fucked every spare minute they could find, being apart was something neither of them enjoyed. Quinn was in love, deeper than she’d ever been before. If she’d ever been in love before, because nothing had ever felt like this. Nothing had ever cost her sleep, caused her so much pain, took over her life in a way that had long gone past obsession. Her addiction wasn’t waning, it was only growing stronger, and he wanted her as much as she wanted him. The way they needed each other, it was frightening. And the world was loving every second of watching their lives play out in public.

  She reached back to touch his face, her fingers running lazily over his cheek. “You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.”

  He dropped his hands lower, and Quinn gasped as he took hold of the hem of her short black dress, pulling it up over her thighs.

  “Lukas…”

  “Ssh… Come on, Quinn. Don’t you want to go out there knowing we fucked only half an hour earlier?”

  She closed her eyes, giving in to him without a second’s hesitation, because that’s what she did. She gave in to him. Every time. It was who she was now – Lukas Drake’s plaything. And Lukas Drake was hers.

  Stepping out of the panties he’d slid slowly down her long, tanned legs, she buried her fingers in his hair as he pulled her hips back against him and slowly pushed into her.

  “Look,” he whispered, his mouth almost touching her ear. “Open your eyes and look at us, baby.”

  She did as he asked, looking at their reflection, watching as their bodies moved together. They made a stunning couple, there was no denying that. She was as beautiful as he was handsome. His brooding good looks and her blonde prettiness off-set the other; the hot young Hollywood couple they’d become.

  She closed her eyes again as she felt him come, a quick, unapologetic release that, even though it hadn’t brought her anywhere close to a climax, it had helped calm her. Just being with him calmed her.

  “I don’t ever want to lose you, Quinn. You hear me?”

  The vibration of his lips against her skin made her shiver, his low, sexy, Southern Irish accent filling her head. “You won’t.” She turned around, resting her forehead against his. “I’ll never let that happen. If I have to, I’ll fight to the very end for you, Luk. I’ll fight, for us.”

  He kissed her, long and deep and she fell against him, her arms wrapping around his neck. “Marry me, Quinn.”

  She pulled back and stared at him, hardly able to believe he’d just said that. He couldn’t be serious, surely. “Lukas, I…”

  “I’m serious, Quinn. I’m in love with you, so bad it fucking hurts. I can’t be without you, I don’t work, without you. So, let’s get married. Let’s be together, forever.”

  She couldn’t stifle the laugh, but it was a nervous reaction, that’s all. And she put a hand over her mouth to try and stop it, because this – no. It was crazy!

  “Come on, baby, don’t keep me hanging here. You going to marry me or what?”

  She looked at him, and his eyes – Jesus! He really was being serious!

  “I… OK,” she whispered, and then she was in his arms and he was swinging her around and around, and they were laughing. “Yes! I’ll marry you!”

  “You won’t regret this, beautiful. I promise you, I am going to be the best damn husband ever.” He put her down and she stayed in his arms, because she was kind of reluctant to leave them now. “I promise you, Quinn, I will never hurt you. OK?” He tucked a finger under her chin, his eyes boring deep into hers and she nodded.

  “OK.”

  “I’ll never, ever hurt you…”

  She closed her eyes as he kissed her, and she had no idea how she was going to get through tonight now, because they couldn’t say anything about this, not yet. Tonight wasn’t the time to make their whirlwind engagement public. Besides, she should really tell Harry first. But she was so excited now, so happy and stupidly in love that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hide it. She just knew that she had to.

  “Our secret, huh?” She smiled, and he returned it.

  “For the time being. I think we’re going to have enough questions about our relationship, both on-screen and off, thrown at us tonight, don’t you?”

  “What do we tell them, Luk? If they ask about the movie? About what we did?”

  “We keep them guessing. That’s the official line, remember? We keep them guessing.”

  His mouth touched hers again and she slid a hand around the back of his neck, falling against him, taking as much from him as she could before they once more left their little bubble to go face reality. And tonight, both their acting skills were going to be tested to the max.

  “I meant what I said, Quinn. I’m going be the best husband ever.”

  She smiled, running her fingertips lightly over his mouth – he had one of the most beautiful, most kissable mouths she’d ever seen. What she wouldn’t give to just stay here, in this hotel room, all night, locking lips with Lukas Drake. Her fiancé. The love of her messed up life.

  A sharp rapping at the door caused them to spring apart, and Quinn quickly repositioned her dress back down over her thighs.

  “Quinn? It’s Harry. You decent?”

  Lukas winked at her, throwing her the sexiest half-smile as he walked over to the door, flinging it open, turning his smile on Harry. “Hey, Harry.”

  Harry looked the young actor up and down. “Lukas.”

  Lukas turned his head and smiled at Quinn again. “See you in a little while, darlin’.”

  Quinn took a deep breath as Harry closed the door behind him, digging his hands in his pockets as he looked around the room, his eyes dipping to the floor. Quinn followed his gaze, biting down on her lip as she saw her discarded panties lying on the cream carpet.

  “Really?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

  She crouched down to pick them up, quickly slipping them back on.

  “Jesus, Quinn…” Harry sighed, throwing his head back. “What is it with you two?” He looked straight at her, frowning slightly at her expression. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t even go there, kiddo. Enough with the ‘nothing’s going on’ shit, because som
ething quite obviously is…”

  “I love him, Harry.”

  Harry stared at her. “You love him.” It wasn’t a question. “Look, Quinn, is this not just some post-movie-making infatuation, some…”

  “We’re getting married.” She wasn’t sure she’d meant to say that out loud, not yet, but it was done now. She’d kind of let the cat right out of the bag.

  Harry just stared at her as though she was speaking some strange foreign language. “I’m sorry, you’re what?”

  She bit down on her lip again. She should have known he wouldn’t be happy about this.

  “Shit, Quinn…”

  She turned to look in the mirror, a slow smile spreading across her face as she remembered what she and Lukas had done just a few minutes earlier. How good he’d felt. How good he made her feel, all the time.

  “Quinn, talk to me. You two are about to go out there; you’re about to walk your first red carpet, and the amount of questions they’re gonna throw at you guys is gonna make your head spin, sweetheart, so talk to me. What the fuck is going on here?”

  She turned back around to face him. “We aren’t going public yet. With the engagement.” She shrugged, her eyes briefly dropping to the floor. “We’re keeping it to ourselves, for now.” She raised her gaze to meet Harry’s, and he looked at her with an almost sarcastic expression on his face.

  “Well, let’s thank the Lord for something, huh? Listen, Quinn, I don’t know what the hell it is with you two right now, but we really don’t say anything about this to anyone, OK? Not a fucking word. Jesus, you’ve only known each other five fucking minutes and now you’re skipping up the freakin’ aisle like you haven’t got a care in the fucking world.”

  “You’re not happy, are you?”

  “What gave it away?”

  “We’re serious, Harry. We love each other…”

  “Sure you do.”

  “We’re not kids, all right? We know what we’re doing. And we just know, OK? That we want to be together.”