Amish Faith: An Amish Christian Romance

by Sarah Price

  The rest of the meal passed by with more awkward silence. This time, Faith let it linger, her mind in a whirlwind over what she had experienced that day.

  Never had she imagined that one single event could so dramatically change the course of life for so many. She watched the children, her heart breaking with each long, drawn out silent moment. With summer having arrived, the children were no longer in school and that meant a long, hard few months for all of them. Suddenly, her own enthusiasm for having time to herself until September vanished. With a sigh, she pushed back her plate. Finishing the food was not an option now, not with the knot that had just developed in her stomach.

  Chapter Four

  It hadn’t taken very long for Faith to make up her mind. When she had left the Petersheim farm, she felt as if she were in a trance. It had stunned her, the level of grief that Rebecca’s family was feeling as well as the need for healing. They were lost, like sheep in a field that wandered too far from the flock. Just as Jesus prayed for the one lost sheep, Faith had spent the weekend praying for her six lost ones. Seven, if she counted Ruthie.

  On Saturday, she hadn’t been able to focus on her chores. Her parents noticed how pensive and quiet she was. Yet, she hadn’t shared with them the experiences of her visit. Instead, she had been reflecting on the events, ideas fermenting, trying to come up with a solution.

  No, it hadn’t taken long to decide. Perhaps she had known it from the moment she left the farm after that supper. Indeed, she knew what she had to do.

  It was Sunday after church when she approached her parents, sharing with them the events that had transpired during her visit and the promise that she had made Rebecca so many years ago after Rebecca’s miscarriage. She paced the floor as she talked, shaking her head as she recalled the look in Anna’s eyes and the quiet baby that stayed confined to her crib most of the day.

  They were supportive. “It’s the Christian thing to do,” her mother had agreed. That had helped tremendously. The fact that her parents understood the dilemma and Faith’s need to help. After all, Faith had explained, it was the only way that she could sleep at night, at peace with herself, knowing that Rebecca’s family had some help, a mother figure to guide them or, at least, to get them back on track.

  So, at seven in the morning on Monday, Faith found herself standing on the front porch of the Petersheim’s house, her heart racing and her knees feeling weak as she waited for someone to answer the door.

  “What on earth…?” Manuel had said when he opened the door, genuinely surprised to see Faith standing there.

  Taking a deep breath, Faith didn’t wait for an invitation as she entered the house and set her purse on the floor by the door. “Manuel,” she started, hoping that her inner strength held up for what she had to say. Leveling her gaze at him, she announced her intention before her false bravado dissipated. “I’m here to help your family and I won’t take no for an answer!”

  He stared at her, his eyes still trying to make sense of what he saw before him. Despite having been up for hours already, he looked tired and drained.

  “Your children need someone here to help them, especially Anna and little Ruthie,” Faith continued. “Rebecca would be ashamed of how this house looked last week. It’s too much for Anna to do this alone.”

  He lowered his eyes, embarrassed. “I reckon,” he said.

  His response did not appease her. Instead, she found herself angry. “Then why haven’t you done anything? Why haven’t you hired someone to help? If Rebecca’s family couldn’t help, what about yours?”

  “People helped in the beginning,” he said softly. “But I didn’t think…”

  Faith shook her head, cutting him off. “No, you didn’t.” She paused, looking around the kitchen. Already it was a disaster, despite her hard efforts just three days earlier. “I’m going to make it up to Rebecca. I’m going to help while I’m on summer break. Take care of her family, her house, and that very special little baby that seems to be too much of a burden to be loved properly.”

  Manuel’s eyes narrowed and he glared at her. “That ain’t so!”

  She lifted an eyebrow as she met his fierce look, saddened that her words had struck a chord within him. That only spoke to the truth of what she had just said. “Oh? When was the last time you held that baby?” When he looked away, refusing to meet her eyes, she merely shook her head. “I thought so.”

  Without another word, Faith swept into the kitchen and immediately began opening cabinets in order to set the table for breakfast. “I’m trusting no one has eaten yet?”

  “Nee,” he admitted softly.

  “Good. That will be the first order of business. Breakfast at seven-thirty.” With that, she hurried to the refrigerator and opened the door, quickly assessing what was inside. There wasn’t much. No sausage, no fresh bread. But she found enough eggs to allow for a large pan of scrambled eggs. And the pantry had rolled oats. That would suffice, she thought. Eggs and oatmeal before a late morning trip to the food store to replenish the supplies and prepare a proper noon meal.

  Within minutes, the fragrant smell of sizzling eggs filled the kitchen and she heard the pounding sound of bare feet hurrying down the stairs. Glancing over her shoulder, Faith smiled as she greeted the round face that stared at her through the banister.

  “Good morning!” she sang cheerfully, despite wishing she were still curled up under the covers of her own bed. “Best get down here and set that table, dear Sadie. Still needs some silverware and glasses.”

  Sadie rubbed her eyes and blinked, her hair hanging down her back in an unkempt tangle of curls. “What are you doing here?” she asked, a yawn escaping her lips.

  “Early bird gets the worm,” Faith answered cheerfully. “And I bet your daed sure could use a big meal after getting up so early for the morning milking.” She gestured to Sadie. “Come on,” she encouraged. “Help me with the table.”

  “Where’s Anna?” Sadie asked, sliding down the rest of the stairs before padding across the floor, her bare feet making a soft noise against the linoleum.

  “Not certain,” Faith admitted. “Your daed was just here but he went back to the barn, I suppose.”

  Sadie pursed her lips and looked around. “She’s probably with that baby.”

  That baby. Not Ruthie. Not the baby. But that baby. “You mean sweet little Ruthie?” Faith asked. “Such a precious little one.”

  A simple shrug from Sadie.

  “You don’t think so?”

  “She doesn’t do much,” Sadie admitted, making a face, which caused Faith to laugh.

  “Well, she’s just a baby,” Faith said. “You’ll have more fun with her when she’s a little older and can move around.”

  “Maybe,” Sadie responded but didn’t sound convinced.

  The table was set and the food was displayed in the center of it when the door opened and Manuel walked in. He eyed the table with a hurt look in his eyes and, once again, refused to look directly at Faith. At the same time, Anna, Mary, and Gideon came downstairs, a look of confusion on their faces as they saw Faith waiting patiently for them to take a seat at the table. Their eyes noticed the set table and their noses smelled the food. There was a moment, just a flicker of understanding and Faith saw Anna smile, a look of relief and joy spreading across her face.

  “Where are Benjamin and Ruthie?” Faith asked Anna.

  “Upstairs still. Sleeping.”

  Faith shook her head. That just wouldn’t do. “I’d appreciate it if you went up and brought down the baby, please. And wake Benjamin to join us. We have a lot to do today.”

  Obediently, Anna turned and walked back upstairs, returning momentarily with Ruthie in her arms and, a few second later, a still sleepy Benjamin in tow. He rubbed at his eyes as he looked around the kitchen. His suspenders hung down by his waist and his shirt was not tucked in. But, when he saw the table set and smelled the food, he smiled at Faith, a big grin that exposed a lost tooth in the front.

  “A br
eakfast? A real breakfast?”

  The delight in his voice at something so simple as a home-cooked meal to start the day broke her heart. How could so much have gone wrong in such a short period of time?

  “Let’s get you straightened up, Benjamin. Make you look handsome for the meal,” she said lightly and hurried over to help him tuck in his shirt and slip his suspenders over his shoulders. “There! Like a proper young man.”

  He beamed at the compliment and scurried over to the table.

  The entire time, she was aware that Manuel was watching her, his finger rubbing at his chin and a concerned look on his face.

  “Let’s sit everyone for the blessing,” Faith instructed, not knowing where her strength and determination were coming from. For Rebecca, she told herself. It’s only for Rebecca. She wanted me to do this.

  After the silent blessing over the meal, no one talked but the children immediately dove into the food. Eggs were passed around and the younger kinner devoured the oatmeal, sprinkling brown sugar over the top. Manuel picked at the food, barely eating anything. He did, however, drink down the coffee that Faith had placed in front of him. When she saw that his cup was empty, she stood up and hurried over to the stove to pour him some more. He thanked her, his eyes still downcast as he reached for the coffee mug.

  “Your mamm was my oldest and best friend,” Faith said when everyone was scraping the remains of their breakfast from their plates. “She would be very unhappy to see what is happening here.”

  “Faith,” Manuel started slowly, shaking his head. The one word, her name, was a warning, an indication that she should stop. She was crossing an invisible line.

  Holding up her hand, Faith stopped him. “I owe it to her,” Faith said. “I owe it to my friend to help out for a while. I’m fortunate enough that I can.”

  A look of relief swept over Anna, a look that did not go unnoticed by Faith.

  “And don’t say that you don’t need my help,” Faith added. “I’m sorry, Manuel. But you do.”

  He didn’t argue with her. How could he, when he knew what she had faced during the previous visit? The mess in the kitchen. The upstairs in disarray. The children quiet and depressed.

  “It’s just hard,” he admitted softly. “I miss her…”

  Faith glanced at the faces of the children, shifting Ruthie in her arms. “I’m sure you do. All of you. And so do I. But it’s time to get back to living. Your mamm wouldn’t have wanted you to die alongside her.” She paused, but not long enough to permit them to comment. “Here are my thoughts for the day,” she began. “I’d like to take a look at that garden your mamm planted. I’m sure it needs some tending to, weeding and watering to start.” She turned to look at Manuel. For a moment, he stared at her. His expression was blank. She couldn’t read what he was thinking. Had she crossed a line? “But only if you can spare the help,” she added.

  Silence.

  “And then I will drive to the market, replenish the food pantry. You seem low on a lot,” she said quietly, waiting for a reaction, any reaction, from Manuel.

  It took a few, long seconds for him to gather his thoughts. She watched as he seemed to be trying to figure out how to respond properly. It was clear that he was conflicted by her offer. And then it came,

  “You don’t need to do this,” he finally said.

  “I think I do,” Faith replied gently. “No one else is doing it and I see a great need here.”

  And that was the big question that kept lingering in her mind. Why was no one else helping? All of her life, she had lived alongside the Amish. She believed she had learned a lot about their ways: their culture, their religion, their lifestyle. She wondered where the extended family was in Manuel’s time of need. It was unlike the community to not step up and help out.

  Manuel cleared his throat and met her questioning eyes. “People visit on Saturdays,” he said. “They bring food then.”

  But what about the rest of the week, she wanted to ask.

  “Well, I’m here now to help,” Faith proclaimed.

  Without being asked, Anna stood up and began to clear the plates from the table. Her sister, Mary, quietly followed her older sister’s example while Sadie leaned her head against her hand and watched Faith. There was something about Sadie, Faith thought, that reminded her of Rebecca in her youth. She was feisty and electric, curious and determined. Mary, on the other hand, was more like Rebecca during her final years: quiet and soft, a mature woman before her time. And Anna was somewhere in-between. It was interesting to get to know Rebecca’s children and, for the first time, she regretted not having taken the time to do so when Rebecca was still alive.

  Manuel pushed his chair back from the table and stood up, his tall frame filling the space at the end of the table. He glanced at Gideon and Benjamin then gestured toward the door. “Best start cleaning the dairy,” he said softly. As if on cue, the boys jumped up and hurried to the door, grabbing their straw hats from the bench and dashing outside. Manuel paused, turning to look at Faith one last time.

  “I’ll accept your help for today,” he finally said. “But we’ll talk privately about this later.” His eyes traveled momentarily toward Sadie then swept across the room to where the other two girls were beginning to wash the plates. “Can’t agree to this, Faith. Just ain’t right.” Without another word, he headed toward the door, his shoulders hunched over and his hands thrust into his pockets.

  He was defeated, that much was clear. Faith saw it in his demeanor. Quiet, reserved, barely able to take charge. Where was the Manuel from the past? The Manuel who had always been the strong one, the happy one, the one that could be leaned upon for support? Where was his faith, she wondered? That all-powerful Amish faith in God and God’s will? Shaking her head, she tried to push away the questions, knowing that there were simply no answers. It had, after all, only been two months since Rebecca passed away. Only time would heal the wounds of the family’s heart. She just hoped that she had enough time to heal her own.

  Faith was crying. She couldn’t understand why God would do this to her family. Over and over and over again. Why did God give her mother such longing for children only to keep taking away any hope? Her mother had just lost another baby, this time in the fifth month. It had been a surprise pregnancy. Faith was almost twelve. But the joy of a new life, a small baby brother or sister, had truly excited everyone.

  And then it was gone.

  For her mother, the loss was devastating. She had always had such trouble conceiving and her only successful pregnancy had been Faith. While her parents had smothered her with love and affection, Faith knew that her father would have loved a boy, a son to whom he could pass down the farm. When the pregnancy had progressed into the second trimester, everyone thought that this was going to be it: the sibling for Faith and, God willing, the son for her father.

  “Oh, you will love having a baby in the house!” Rebecca had gushed when she had initially heard the news of Faith’s mother’s pregnancy. “It’s so wonderful to watch them grow and to love them!”

  Coming from Rebecca, that was expert advice. There was always a baby at the Yoder farm. Rebecca’s older sisters always seemed to have a baby in tow. Plus, her one brother lived next door in the grossdaadihaus with his wife and their newborn son.

  Indeed, the loss of the baby, a boy at that, had hit everyone in the family individually. For Faith, she knew that was her last chance of having a brother or sister. For her mother, it was the end of her ability to conceive. And for her father, it was the loss of a dream…the dream of a son to teach the wonderful art of farming and to shape into a miniature mold of himself.

  “We get to ride in your car?” Benjamin’s eyes were wide open and he could hardly contain his grin.

  Faith laughed. His curiosity reminded her of Rebecca. “Oh Benjamin! Have you never ridden in a car then?”

  “Nee,” he said. “Daed drives a horse and buggy.”

  Sadie puffed up her chest. Ever the big sister, Faith thought.
“It’s just like riding in a horse and buggy, only faster.”

  Mary gave her sister the familiar tsk tsk, so reminiscent of Rebecca and Rebecca’s mamm. “As if you have ridden in a car before, sister.”

  “Now, now,” Faith said calmly. She switched into teacher mode with the children. “Sadie happens to be correct. It is faster than a horse and buggy.” She leaned down to Benjamin. “And you don’t get the horse hair floating through the open window into your mouth!” He giggled at that statement. Faith smiled and stood up again. “I’m happy to take any of you for a car ride. I reckon that we will have plenty of time for that over the summer, don’t you think?”

  Sadie and Benjamin bobbed their heads in serious agreement while Anna looked on, smiling.

  “For today,” Faith continued. “I need Sadie and Benjamin’s help at the store. Anna, perhaps you might care to ride along too while Mary watches Ruthie? You’ll know what your mamm would normally stock in the house to cook for your daed and the kinner, and that would help.”

  “What about Gid?”

  Benjamin’s question startled Faith. She looked around the room, not seeing Gideon anywhere. She hadn’t forgotten him. But he had disappeared with Manuel after breakfast. “Isn’t he helping your daed?”

  Benjamin nodded.

  She spared him a smile. “It’s truly good that you thought of your brother, Benjamin. But I think he’s of more help to your daed than to me, don’t you agree?”

  At the Smart Shopper on Route 23, Faith parked her car and waited for the children to get out. Benjamin had a difficult time unbuckling his seat belt and Faith quickly hurried to help him. She showed him how to press the red button and smiled at his amazement over the simple device.

  No one seemed to pay any attention to the three Amish youth who accompanied the clearly non-Amish woman. Despite wearing a simple pastel dress and flat shoes, Faith looked like a typical Englischer. Growing up, she had never taken to wearing a typical Mennonite head covering, although her mother wore one at church.