Amish Faith: An Amish Christian Romance

by Sarah Price

  Even then.

  He looked at her, his eyes fierce and alive as if he had just had a great revelation. “I knew we’d always be connected. You can’t save someone’s life without feeling that bond.” His eyes fell onto the paper in his hand, a look of wonder on his face. “She knew that, too, and when she knew what was going to happen to her, she pushed us toward each other. She prepared for the future of her family by insuring that you would be the one to take care of us.” He shook his head, not quite comprehending what he had just learned. “She pushed us together, didn’t she?”

  Faith stood before him, reaching to hold his hands. She didn’t want this revelation to create a barrier between them with their newfound relationship. No, that had not been her intention. In fact, she had felt that he needed to know and understand the reasons behind Faith’s change in attitude toward her marriage. “She pushed us, yes,” Faith started, fighting back the tears that threatened to cloud her vision and wet her cheeks. “But it’s God who opened our eyes, isn’t it, Manuel? God made this possible and He made love happen between us.”

  He stopped when he heard what she said and sharpened his gaze. For a long moment, he studied her face before he squeezed her hands and repeated the word that she had just spoken. “Love?”

  The way that he said the word caused the color to flood to her cheeks again. Had she misread his signs? Had she jumped too quickly? “Well,” she stammered. “I meant at least from me to you and the children.”

  “You love me?” He seemed surprised to have heard those words from her lips.

  “Oh Manny,” she whispered, wiping at her eyes so that a tear wouldn’t roll down her cheek. “How could I not?”

  This time, he shut his eyes and a hint of a smile crossed his lips. That look of peace fell over his face once again and she felt her heart swell. “Oh Faith,” he whispered back. “I will pray my thanks to God for truly it’s better to have love given back than just received.”

  His response puzzled her. “I don’t understand,” she managed to say.

  “Faith,” he said, quickly opening his eyes and staring at her. “Don’t you know how I feel about you? How much I love you, too? You saved me. You saved my family. You have returned life and love and happiness to this house. And by doing so, you have that forever bond with me…the same way that I have a forever bond with you.”

  “Forever,” she whispered, the idea of eternity causing her to catch her breath. “And this was Rebecca’s gift to us, wasn’t it?”

  “She had to do what she felt was right,” he agreed. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers as he clutched her hands in his. “But, in doing so, she made certain that all of her loved ones were taken care of. It was a brave and selfless decision.”

  Faith wasn’t certain of how she felt about the word selfless. She was fairly sure that, if given the choice two years back, the kinner would have argued for Rebecca to not take that chance, to avoid getting pregnant in order to live. However, when Faith thought about sweet Ruthie and her toothless smiles and babyish laughter, she wondered what the kinner would think now. A question, she realized, that no one would ever dare to ask. Nor should they.

  Shutting her eyes, Faith took a deep breath. “Selfless in that she gave her own life in order for the rest of us to have one. Only our lives are not more important than hers, are they?”

  He nodded his head. “I reckon you are right,” he admitted. “But she had her reasons for doing what she did. She felt it was the right thing, that God would guide her. And she wanted to know that, if He took her home, her family was provided for. In that regard, she was selfless, ja?”

  He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest and holding her tightly. For a long moment, she shut her eyes and pressed her cheek against his shoulder. His embrace comforted her and removed any lingering doubts over the decision she had made to step into the lives of the Petersheim family and take over where Rebecca had left off. Their union had the blessing of God as well as the understanding, support, and guiding hand of Rebecca.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Faith stood in the back of the schoolhouse, close enough to Manuel to feel his presence without actually touching each other. It wouldn’t be proper to hold hands or lean against him at the winter recital. But knowing that he was there gave her great comfort.

  The children were standing at the front of the school, dressed in their Sunday best as they sang the Christmas hymns for their parents to enjoy. Their cherubic voices and bright eyes warmed Faith’s heart. She listened to the songs, having practiced with Sadie and Benjamin at home so that, when it came time for the pageant, she would better understand the words to the songs as the children performed them.

  She leaned back and turned her head so that her lips were close to Manuel’s ear. “Look how happy she is,” she whispered, indicating the broad smile on Sadie’s face.

  He placed his hand on her hip, a subtle gesture that no one else could see as he responded, “Her new mamm is here. She’s quite proud, don’t you think?”

  Faith nodded, trying to hide her own smile of pride. It had been almost a month since she had married Manuel, a month of joy and bliss. Each day was more remarkable than the last. She found joy in tending to the house and the chores. What’s more, she found a sense of peace in loving Manuel and the kinner. While Rebecca was never far from Faith’s mind, she knew that everyone was moving on so that life could continue, as both God and Rebecca wanted.

  Looking across the room, she smiled at Anna who stood with the older girls at the back of the school. Anna was holding Ruthie, the eight month old staring at the singing children in amazement. It was the first time Ruthie was in a schoolhouse and the first time she heard children singing without adults. She was mesmerized by the sounds.

  It was a Friday, the last day of school before the winter break and holiday season. The Christmas service had been held the previous week on Sunday. It had been a regular worship service with very limited discussion of the Holy Birth, unlike the services that Faith had been familiar with at her Mennonite church.

  Their own family gathering would be held the following Sunday. Faith was nervous about attending her first Christmas dinner with all of the Petersheim family. With all of the children and grandchildren, there would be over a hundred people at the dinner. Her own parents were also invited and for that, Faith was most grateful. She hadn’t seen much of them since her decision to join the church and marry Manuel. Her life had taken a turn with so many responsibilities and chores around the farm and home.

  After the pageant, there was a light fellowship in the schoolhouse. Families had bought fresh bread and cold cuts, chow-chow and pickled beets, applesauce and fresh pies. It was a nice end of the week treat to visit with the families and friends of the children before the holiday weekend.

  The sky was dark when the family walked home together, Sadie and Benjamin holding Faith’s hands as Manuel carried Ruthie, bundled in a coat and blanket, in his arms. Behind them, Gideon and Mary walked together while Anna lingered with some of her friends. Faith glanced back, seeing the battery operated lantern swinging gently in Anna’s hands and, to her delight, noticed Jonas Zook walking with the girls. That will make Anna’s Christmas, Faith thought with a smile.

  Back at the house, Faith helped the younger children take off their coats and scarves, hanging them on the pegs from the wall in the washroom before she removed her own black bonnet and wrap. “I think that was a lovely pageant,” she said as she smoothed back her hair to make certain it was under her kapp before she walked into the kitchen. “Perhaps we should celebrate with some popcorn and games?”

  Sadie and Benjamin cheered.

  “Chokinole?” Benjamin asked, his eyes wide and eager.

  Manuel shifted Ruthie in his arms and rubbed her back. “That sounds like a good game, ja!”

  Sadie frowned. “But only four can play at a time!”

  Faith laughed. “We can take turns, goose.”

  Benjam
in hurried to the backroom to find the large board game while Gideon and Mary cleared off the kitchen table. Faith watched them as she prepared an evening bottle for Ruthie. The baby was starting to drift to sleep in Manuel’s arms, her eyelids drooping as she sucked on her thumb.

  “Best be getting her changed and to bed,” Faith said, offering to take Ruthie.

  “I’ll do it, Mamm,” Anna offered. Without waiting for a response, Anna reached for the bottle and tucked it into her dress pocket before lifting the sleepy baby from her daed’s arms. With a smile, Anna tucked the baby into the crook of her arm and hurried up the stairs.

  Manuel and Faith glanced at each other, silently wondering about Anna’s sudden enthusiasm to spend time with the baby. It was a knowing look that defied words, a look that could only be shared between two people that shared a special bond.

  With the four children leaning over the Crokinole board, Faith turned her attention to making the popcorn. Pouring a little olive oil in the bottom of a pot, she waited for the propane stove to light and heat it before she poured in a thin layer of golden kernels.

  “You know what you’re doing there, then?” Manuel asked, leaning his hip against the counter as he watched her, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

  “It’s popcorn,” she laughed. “I’ve made it dozens of times.”

  “You have now, have you?” he teased, leaning forward to brush his hand along her arm. She felt that familiar shiver race up her spine and shut her eyes for a second. “Show me what you are doing,” he whispered as he stood behind her, his shoulder pressing against hers.

  She tried not to smile but couldn’t help it, especially when she felt her cheeks grow warm and she knew they had turned red. Manuel loved to make her blush and was getting quite good as doing so. “Well,” she managed to say. “I heat up the olive oil before I put in a layer of the kernels.”

  She felt his finger on her neck and quickly glanced at the kitchen table. The children were absorbed in the game and hadn’t noticed.

  “What’s next, Faith?”

  “Well,” she started. “It pops and then I put…” But she could tell that he wasn’t interested in the popcorn for she had felt his breath on her skin and lost her concentration. “Manuel…”

  “Hmmm?”

  She turned around and found herself in his arms. He was chuckling to himself and quietly brushed his lips against hers. Her eyes flickered to the table, relieved to see that the children were still battling with each other over who had crossed the black line before the button was put into play.

  Manuel didn’t seem to mind if the children had seen. Instead, he pulled her closer and leaned down. “I love you, Faith,” he whispered in her ear, low enough so that the children couldn’t hear.

  “Oh,” she managed to reply, startled by this unusual display of affection. While he had said it before, in actions during the day and in words in the privacy of their bedroom, he had never been so forthcoming with his emotions toward her.

  He gave her one last kiss, soft and quiet, before he pulled away, just slightly, and mouthed, “Your popcorn…”

  Indeed it was. “Oh help!” she exclaimed, realizing that the lid was beginning to rattle on the pot as the kernels of corn rose.

  Manuel stepped away, laughing as Faith picked up the pot and shook it gently so that the kernels on the bottom wouldn’t burn. She glanced at Manuel, pretending to frown at him as he watched her with an amused expression on his face.

  “I think you distracted me on purpose,” she teased.

  “Mayhaps I did,” he admitted. “But a nice distraction it was, ja?”

  Taking a deep breath, she watched him as he smiled mischievously before turning his attention to the children playing the board game. Every so often, he would look up and catch her eye and let his gaze linger, just long enough to cause her cheeks to flush.

  “Is that popcorn almost ready, then?” Gideon asked, looking up from the game with a grin on his face. “I’m getting mighty hungry over here, beating Anna and Sadie at this game!”

  “Me, too!” Benjamin chimed in, bouncing in his seat.

  Faith laughed. “Ja, ja, just let me add the salt and Brewer’s yeast.” She took the pot over to the prepared bowl and opened the lid. To her surprise, a few kernels of corn popped out of the bowl. She jumped in surprise and the children laughed at her.

  “Oh help!” she muttered as a few more kernels flew through the air and onto the floor.

  “They always do that!” Sadie laughed, jumping up to help Faith by picking up the scattered pieces. “They like to startle you!”

  “And they always do,” Faith added, smiling her appreciation at the young girl. “Now help me salt this popcorn and then you can help me eat it!”

  The rest of the evening was spent huddled over the Crokinole board, cheering and laughing as the family took turns playing the game. In the end, no one bothered to keep a final score. It wasn’t who won the game that was important, after all. It was the fact that they spent the evening together, enjoying each other’s company and being one as a family.

  Epilogue

  Faith covered her head with the end of the black shawl and wrapped the two ends around herself. She slipped out the side door of the kitchen and hurried down the driveway. Ruthie was sleeping and she knew that she only had a two-hour window of time.

  She walked down the road, her head bent down as she thought and prayed. It had been just over four months since she had married Manuel. The winter was almost over, although she smelled snow in the air. The winter’s last snowfall, she hoped.

  It had been a light winter but Faith was tired of short days and ready for spring. She longed for flowers, open windows, and green leaves covering the trees. She yearned to bring picnic lunches to her husband while he worked in the fields, to lie in the grass with baby Ruthie who had just learned to crawl, and to work outside with the sun on her back.

  But today, it was still winter.

  When she finally approached the small plot of land surrounded by a black metal fence, she paused, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before she entered the graveyard. Today is a big day, she thought to herself as she carefully maneuvered through the rows of headstones and found the one with the name Rebecca Petersheim etched into it.

  Faith hadn’t been to the graveyard before that day. She had not returned since last April when Rebecca had died. Seeing the grave marker sent a chill through her spine. That’s Rebecca, she thought, fighting the urge to cry. She’s under there.

  For a moment, she felt a wind on her face and, despite the coldness in the air, a warmth spread throughout her body. She was no longer cold. Rebecca, Faith said to herself with a smile.

  “You changed everything,” Faith said out loud. “I’m not certain why you did this, Rebecca, and I won’t say that I’m glad that you did it. But I wanted to tell you that everything is going to be fine. Your kinner are adapting and growing.”

  She paused to take a deep breath. It only felt right to continue talking to Rebecca, to tell her about her family. “Anna has become a fine young woman and has been a tremendous help to me. We’re friends, Rebecca, but I keep you in mind when I guide her.”

  The familiar noise of a horse and buggy interrupted her, carried by the wind. Faith glanced up and saw a black horse pulling the grey-top buggy down the road. The driver lifted his hand to wave to her as he passed.

  “Mary is so quiet and likes to crochet all of the time. You taught her well and, now, she’s teaching me. Gideon is so much like his daed. He’ll be a fine young man and be quite helpful to Manuel.”

  She laughed. “Sadie reminds me of you when we first met. She sure does have a lot of energy. Benjamin has a hard time keeping up with her. But they get on nicely and, when it becomes too much, Gideon steps in to help Benjamin.”

  Lifting her eyes to the sky, Faith found it hard to say the next part. Tears formed in her eyes and she wiped at them before she continued. “You never knew Ruthie. Ruthie was min
e from the beginning, I reckon. You gave birth to her and they simply handed me the baby.” A tear fell. “I’m sorry for that, Rebecca. You would have loved her so much, just as I do. She might limp a bit when she finally walks but she is the most cheerful baby, so full of love and grace.”

  A flake of snow fluttered down through the grey skies and landed on Faith’s eyelash. “Thank you for choosing me to be her mamm,” she whispered, wiping again at her eyes.

  For a moment, she shut her eyes and breathed in the cold air. It stung her lungs and she began to feel chilled in her toes. She could hear another buggy approaching, the clip-clop of the horse’s hooves on the macadam and the humming of the buggy announcing its presence.

  It was getting colder and she needed to get back home. More snow was falling now, large flakes that were sticking on the ground. One more deep breath and Faith could finish what she came to say.

  “I found your letter, Rebecca, and it was such a blessing. Your letter explained a lot, although I still have so many questions I would love to ask you. It removed any lingering doubts or concerns and for that, I thank you.”

  She smiled and touched her stomach. “I’m having a baby, Rebecca, the baby you always told me that I would have…the baby I never knew that I wanted,” she said. “I haven’t told Manuel yet. I wanted you to know first. After all, you are my bestest friend.” She paused, her eyes staring at the grave. “Everything else might have changed but that never will,” she added softly.

  “Faith?”

  She glanced over her shoulder and saw a horse and buggy by the gate. Manuel.

  “What are you doing there? It’s freezing! Let me take you home,” he said, sliding open the buggy door and getting out so that he could help her.

  Faith nodded, casting one parting look at the grave before she navigated her way back to where Manuel was waiting. He gave her a quizzical look but didn’t ask why she had chosen to walk to the graveyard in the freezing cold with a snowstorm on the way.