The War of All Wars

by J. Eric Booker

  And during the days when they hid deep, deep, deep inside caved-in empty caves, Baltor and Nemis exchanged tons of information, and not just about martial arts and magic. Yet also about philosophy, life, love, the universe, etc., etc. At least once a day, they played a challenging game or two of voo-span, all the while having fun—not that it mattered to either, yet Baltor did prove to be a fractionally better player, winning fifty-one percent of the time.

  By the end of those years, he could cast fifteen spells, most of which were utilitarian and he had earned the rank of Adeptus, one rank below Magus 2nd Class—she promised that actual battle-experience would allow him the power to learn and cast spells that are even more powerful. The three basic combat spells he knew were fireball, lightning, and blizzard winds. In turn, she had mastered all the punches, kicks, rolls, cartwheels, etc—and nearly all of the advanced techniques, including wrestling and using counter-attacks.

  Two years, one night, four hours and ten minutes after their journey had begun on this hell, they came across the first signs of civilization anywhere—a megalithic wall that stood at one mile tall and spanned two thousand square miles—made of block-shaped crystals stacked perfectly together…an unbelievably beautiful wall it was too! For inside each and every crystal, there were thick wavy strands of other types of precious elements, like silver, gold, platinum, crystals, and jewels…glowing of magic!

  Tons of demon-guards stood unmoving at their posts on top and outside the city walls, wearing red robes and a glowing ruby amulet that hooked onto a platinum necklace—amongst them stood or flew a wide assortment of other very evil-looking, beastly monsters that freely roamed about, but thankfully, not a single ice-monster.

  After stopping about a thousand yards away, Baltor said, Stay on my back…in a minute, I am going to be using the shadows to sneak us past all those guards and monsters—once we reach that wall, I will climb us up and over it. And once we’re inside, I will sneak us to the throne room itself as quick as possible, flip that trigger, and hop into the river, as Tiamat suggested. Your mission is to stay on my back the entire time and alert me by tapping me twice on my right shoulder if anyone becomes alerted to our presence…okay?

  She answered, Okay.

  It took them nearly two hours of time before they did arrive at the wall and undetected, about three miles from the central gateway—for Baltor used every ounce of his “master thieving skills,” slinking from shadow to shadow.

  Upon arrival, he next proceeded to use all of his scaling skills in order to climb up the mile-tall wall of crystal, which wall possessed tons of ornamental hand and footholds.

  It took nearly thirty minutes of time until they were at the top. Once there, he waited for about a minute until two of the guards had passed on by moving opposite directions: once so, he swiftly ran across the fifty-foot walkway—lying beyond this wall was a massive building that rose from the ground to a grand height of ten miles tall, made of amethyst crystal.

  After arriving on the other side of the walkway, only two seconds later, he next observed a ten-foot wide passageway right below that was uninhabited at the moment—this passage existed between the wall and the amethyst building that possessed no doors or windows. In the next moment, he dropped down to the ground.

  To their left, about three miles down, was the gate and the interior courtyard, which possessed a ton of posted guards and beastly creatures; and to their right was a one-mile-long passage that led up to the corner, where an adjacent passage existed going left.

  Baltor bolted for the right toward the corner…nearly two minutes later he arrived at his destination, poking just his head around that corner so he could see what or who lay beyond.

  Besides the amethyst building that continued down for about a mile farther—where existed no windows but a single giant-sized door made of emerald—the crystal wall to his right continued for thirty miles. This wall passed not only another part of the courtyard filled with guards and creatures, yet the exterior walls of the main palace itself, which palace appeared to have been sculpted by one solid piece of diamond!

  Still at the corner, he said, I’m about to cast an invisibility spell on us right now…stay on my back. Tap me once when we become visible again…twice if we get discovered despite the invisibility. Okay?

  Nemis answered, Okay.

  Upon hearing her answer, Baltor chanted aloud the spell…twenty seconds later they were both invisible.

  Despite this advantage, he still ever so silently navigated from shadow to shadow beyond the throngs of guards, as well all the other beastly creatures.

  Five minutes later, he felt the single tap on his shoulder, which meant they were visible, but fortunately for the both of them, there wasn’t anybody else around in this diamond hallway of the main palace. At least not yet.

  In this hallway that spanned for fifteen miles, as they came to discover, there were a grand total of six doors on the right—each made of a different type of crystal.

  Hanging from the ceiling in between each door was a different holographic tapestry, each containing the image of a crystal devil in each and every one of them bearing a different pose…its eyes were made of sapphires, lips were made of rubies, ears were very pointy, and had a long, two-pronged tail. In this devil’s right hand, it wielded a wicked-looking crystal whip—its left held a glowing spear!

  The second Baltor had stopped in his tracks, which was a nanosecond after Nemis had tapped him, he said, Quickly now, hop down to your feet, cast invisibility on both of us, and hop back on…hopefully we’ll be inside the throne room long before your spell wears off. Hopefully, is the key word.

  Okay.

  Thirty-five seconds later, she had completed all of her tasks—with Nemis once again on his back, he bolted down the hallway.

  Four-in-a-half minutes later, they had just snuck in between a pair of guards at the entryway leading into the main throne room itself—the floors, walls and ceiling made of smoothed crystals. Other than the guards posted throughout this room, there was but one piece of furniture sitting at the far end—a massive throne made from one solid piece of diamond that had tons of glowing jewels imbedded into both armrests!

  Though this throne was large enough to seat a hundred-foot-tall person, it was void of occupants—in fact, the Arch-Devil was nowhere at all to be seen anywhere around his throne room…

  Baltor hadn’t hesitated a second, but continued to jet his way straight for the throne, nearly two miles away—this feat to reach the throne took one minute’s time. Unfortunately, only five seconds earlier, the two had become re-visible!

  Though he felt a single tap on his shoulder, he did not hesitate, but located the single emerald on the left armrest of the throne—comprised of tons of diamonds and other jewels. Without hesitation, he twisted the emerald.

  Instantly, a grating noise began to occur, as the throne ever so slowly began to tilt back…before it had a chance to open a quarter of the way, a howling voice shrieked from behind, “What in the hell are the two of you doing in my throne room? Answer me now!”

  As soon as he heard the voice, Baltor looked back, observing the exact same devil he had seen in the tapestries, but a hundred-foot tall version—also like the tapestry, it wielded whip and spear!

  At the same time, his peripheral vision had observed that the grate had only opened a little less than one third of the way, but it would need to open a grand total of halfway for Nemis to fit into, which meant that he needed to buy them some time.

  Without any further delay, Baltor robustly answered, “Arch-Devil Delial…how spectacular it is to see you, sire! I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, but we—your other minion and myself—have been ordered by the Supreme Arch-Devil to check your sewage grate for possible intruders. I know how awkward this must all look to you, Your Unholiness, or whatever you liked to be called, but I can assure you that this is an executive order that must be accomplished right here and now. Now, before you say a word, which I can see you’re
about to do, let me conclude my briefing by saying that all of this will be confirmed by the Sup—”

  Just then, his peripherals had observed that the grate had opened just enough for Nemis, so he telepathically said one word, Go…

  Right away Nemis dived headfirst into the river rapids.

  While snapping his whip back, Delial said, “You will pay for your treach—”

  Baltor did not hear the rest of Delial’s words, nor did he feel the sting of the whip’s tail that literally missed him by a micrometer, as the turbulent waterslide had just sucked him up and away!

  Unlike any of the previous waterslides, most unfortunately, he not only didn’t have Nemis with him, yet he could not locate her anywhere he looked, nor how much he swam…she was gone-gone-gone.

  CHAPTER V

  Two hundred and six hours and fifty-nine minutes—or nearly ten days—of unbelievably lonely time passed for Baltor, despite the fact that this waterslide was the most speedy, twisty, turbulent and exciting of all the previous waterslides. Not once had he seen his comrade.

  Until finally, he was shot out like a cannonball into the middle of a cascading waterfall, which caused him to fall ten thousand feet more before being dunked deep into a very turbulent river.

  As soon as his head rose above the level of the frothy and wavy waters, he observed that the river rapids only appeared to get worse and worse downstream. He had also seen that the rest of the terrain consisted of a very-very lush jungle, where everything—including the trees, their leaves, the bushes, and even the blades of grass—were ten times the normal size! Can’t forget to mention all the giant-sized wildlife, ranging from bugs to birds—all with yellow glowing eyes! He literally felt like he was the size an ant.

  While still wading in place in the middle of the river, perhaps a thousand feet from the waterfall, Baltor looked everywhere but could not locate Nemis anywhere—in the river, on land, or in the air—she was still lost!

  After he had glanced back upstream and downstream for like the dozenth time, he used telepathy as he asked, Nemis…can you hear me? It’s Baltor!

  No answer…not even after a minute had passed.

  He asked again, Nemis—hello? It’s Baltor…can you hear me?

  Nearly another minute passed, yet still no answer. It was during this minute that he began to consider the possibilities.

  One, she might have transformed into a shark, but then if she had, why didn’t she answer his questions using telepathy?

  Two, she had gotten carried downstream passed the point where they could telepathically communicate.

  Or, three, she might have drowned in the river in hell.

  As the possibilities began to get worse and worse in Baltor’s mind, especially because he still could not locate her whereabouts, he decided to allow the river to carry him downstream. All the while, he feverishly looked on both sides of the river for Nemis…but nowhere was she to be found—dead or alive!

  After an hour’s time had passed, as well approximately two dozen miles downstream, he began to give up hope. At the same time, his keen ears detected the sounds of a carnivorous-sounding animal who had just begun to growl to his right.

  Looking over right away, he discovered a four-hundred-foot tall lizard who was staring at him hungrily from on land about two hundred feet away. This monster stood erect on two legs, had an abnormally large tail that dragged on the ground, two smaller arms with clawed fingers, a huge head with a mouth filled with jagged-sharp teeth, and yellow, glowing eyes.

  In the next second, the creature howled out a high-pitched roar, and without any haste, it leapt straight through the air for its prey.

  Not waiting for the lizard to arrive at his destination, Baltor dived under the surface of the water, and swam through the bottom of the river like a zooming torpedo.

  Only by inches did his body evade two of the monster’s claws reaching out to grab him—nor did the monster give up, as it continuously chased after him through the river, though it was nowhere near as fast as Baltor.

  After having swum about ten more miles, he stopped in his tracks, darted his head to look back the way he had come, and discovered that the creature was nowhere near sight…nor could he hear it splashing through the water.

  While mainly looking that direction, yet also looking everywhere else for Nemis, he telepathically said, Nemis…this is my last attempt at trying to contact you…can you hear me?

  A split second later, he heard her ever so faintly in his head say, Baltor…can you hear me? Baltor? Can you hear me?

  Yes, Nemis…I can! Where are you?

  I am with the Arch-Devil right now…Mastema. He is about to teleport you to our position, so don’t resist his spell…okay?

  Okay.

  A few seconds later, he began to feel his body tingle…at first, it was oh-so-slight, and feeling pleasant, but then it grew in intensity by the second. Tiny, blue lightning bolts sizzled their way up and down his body, feeling just like a mild electrocution!

  Perhaps ten seconds later, Baltor teleported in a flash, and now he stood in the middle of a swampy-looking underground cavern that spanned for three thousand square miles, containing a swampy-looking throne in the very middle. Sitting on that throne was a five-hundred-foot-tall lizard creature wearing a crown filled with human heads, of which heads all were still alive and moaning.

  Surrounding the throne were billions of lizard soldiers, lizard clerics, and lizard mages—all assembled in a chaotic formation! This cave alone was probably the size of an entire, small continent.

  As Baltor took a closer glance at Mastema’s head and face, he noticed that it looked identical to the other lizard that tried to attack him. However, the rest of this Arch-Devil’s body was human, except for the fact that its skin color was lime green—the loincloth it wore was made of swampy vegetation.

  Both telepathically and physically, Mastema began, “Soo…let’s hear it from you, Sultan Baltor Elysian the XVth.” Not surprising, every word he said with the letter “s” took him an extra two or three seconds to say.

  “Hear what?”

  “Your story…I’ve already heard Nemis’ account.”

  “I see…” Baltor replied. After bowing his head for a moment, he stated, “In a nutshell, the reason why I’m here is to stop the Vompareus. And, the only way to do that is to rescue Trendon Harrn, whom you know is still trapped on the Ninth Plane. The other reason I’m here is to help rescue Nemis’ mother from the Seventh Plane, which is why Nemis is here…

  “So, there’s the story in a nutshell. I really don’t see any point in elaborating all the tiny little details that got us up to this point, unless you do…but trust me, it’ll take a long time, especially if I were to relay the crazy waterslides in between the hells.”

  “No…what you’ve said is fine…that is also what she explained to me. Yes, I will let you pass…”

  “Thank you, Arch-Devil…”

  “Would you like some tips to help you with Phistopheles, and the next plane? ”

  “Whatever your lordship is willing to impart.”

  In the next moment, Baltor saw a clear three-dimensional picture of this masculine Arch-Devil in his mind’s eye. Phistopheles was a kingly-and-powerful looking warrior who donned a set of black plate-mail armor, along with a matching plated helmet that even had a large pair of black bullhorns protruding out the front. He possessed black hair that reached halfway down his back, a thick-and-curly beard with just-as-thick eyebrows, and black eyes without any of the surrounding white sclera. Finally yet just as importantly, he brandished a black, two-handed sword with a swerved blade, which weapon looked just as wicked as he did!

  Only a moment later, Mastema began to brief, “As you can see, Arch-Devil Phistopheles is quite the powerful warrior. Yet what you cannot tell from looking at this picture is that he’s never before been beaten in combat, and is equally powerful as a magic-user.

  “His entire Hell comprises of a single square-shaped-disc city that is the
size of both of your planets put together—underneath it are countless souls who have to hold it up with their hands forever. So know that whenever you feel an earthquake, the souls underneath that part of the city have collapsed to their knees, agonizingly. ”

  Perhaps ten seconds later, Mastema added, “Nearly always does the Arch-Devil and a vast host of his anti-angels stay in the throne room of his palace, guarding the portal to the next plane. Unlike me, he will certainly not let you through, so unless you are successfully able to sneak by them, you will have to fight them all, and they are very, very, very tough.

  “Phistopheles has but one weakness, and that is by removing the heart in his chest, his body will temporarily be destroyed into ashes for one minute…this is when you must trigger the trapdoor leading to the next Plane of Hell. That is all I have to say… So are you ready? ”

  “Yes, thank you…”

  With that, Mastema flipped a switch on its throne, and only a second later, a camouflaged-by-swamp-grass lid popped open about two feet away in front of his throne, which simultaneously revealed the river rapids below.

  “Farewell, Arch-Devil Mastema.”

  “Farewell, Sultan Baltor Elysian. ”

  Only a second later, Baltor immediately grabbed Nemis’ hand.

  When she looked over with surprise, he calmly explained, “There is no romantic reason why I’m holding your hand right now, but a practical one: I don’t need to lose you between this hell and the next, like I did from the last to this one. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sultan.”

  “Good. Ready to go?”

  “Yes, let’s go…”

  Hand in hand, they jumped into the river just before being carried away.

  CHAPTER VI

  Three days and two hours passed as they—hand in hand—sailed down the waterslide that mainly went straight down, in which there were nearly a dozen times that they moved at speeds of greater than a thousand miles per hour! For the most part, they had both remained silent, especially for the fact that verbal communication was impossible due to moving faster than the speed of sound.