The War of All Wars

by J. Eric Booker

  After a nod, Baltor answered, “Okay, captain.”

  Inevitably, after having traveled through two different galaxies in order to obtain both pieces of ammunition, which was how rare these size rubies were throughout the universe. Once acquired, they traveled to the two remaining planets inhabited by the vompareus-beasts, in turn, and destroyed them. Overall, it took them about an hour to do everything.

  Nearly powerless now, the very few vompareus scattered throughout the universes, became hunted in turn and killed, which took about another hour…until only the leader remained. It was then that Trendon revealed this leader’s name as “Noigel” to Baltor, but of course, Noigel was hiding somewhere like a coward….

  It took nearly six months to find him…hiding in an underground cave filled with large lakes of molten lava. And it took an additional six months, as Trendon and Baltor battled hardcore and nonstop against Noigel—both sides using might and magic—there are no words that can even begin to describe the ferociousness of this “final epic battle!!”

  Once Noigel had been slain, the two men looked at each other and themselves…even though there were both covered in wounds of all types, and most of their battle armor destroyed, quickly those physical wounds began to disappear and their armor mended itself…until, nearly a minute later, they were totally healed without any scars.

  Baltor sighed, “Wow…now that was one hell of a battle, captain! Nearly a dozen times I thought we were going to lose…but I refused to give up.”

  “You did an outstanding job…now, let’s teleport back to the ship.”

  “Yes, captain.”

  They did.

  CHAPTER XVIII

  Once inside the ship, Trendon clapped his hands together, before stating with a whole lot of enthusiasm, “Well done, my apprentice! We have won the war—we are heroes for all the universes and realms…although less than .000000000001% will ever know of our heroic accomplishments. Of course, the humans on planet Earth will know without doubt it was an alien spaceship that obliterated the alien planet…only now they can begin to transcend the belief that they are the sole occupants in this universe, as well their prejudicial hatreds toward one another.”

  “Whoo hoo—that’s good enough for me, captain,” Baltor laughed out in pure exultation. He was truly glad that the war of all wars was finally over.

  Still smiling and looking happy, Trendon revealed, “The time has almost come for me to leave, Baltor Elysian. Therefore, you are hereby promoted to the rank of ‘Master Watcher.’ Congratulations!”

  “Thank you, captain.”

  “However,” Trendon added, “before I leave you in charge to watch and protect the universes until the time your apprentice becomes a master, would you like to get a tasty beverage somewhere with me and celebrate our major victory?”

  “Yeah sure—but where are you going tomorrow?”

  “Well, my life’s work is nearly done—tomorrow is my 10,000th birthday, whereupon I shall be departing to the Second Plane of Heaven. My oh-so-sweet love awaits me there, hopefully with one of those delicious cherry-cheesecakes she loved to make when we were together in life.”

  “Who is this love you speak of?”

  “She is a half-dark and a half-light elf, named I’vana,” Trendon said with a wistful sigh. “If you really want to know more about her, and about our incredible romantic adventure until her untimely demise, read a bit of our history in J. Eric Booker’s book, THE Making…”

  Looking surprised, Baltor asked, “You mean, E?”

  After delivering a wink with his left eye, Trendon clucked his tongue before answering, “Yes, sir…”

  “Okay, I think I will read that book when I take a relaxing vacation. In the meantime, I’d love to go out and get a drink with you,” Baltor said, just before he laughed merrily. “That would be great…I would also love to know how he managed to think up your story.”

  After shrugging his shoulders, Trendon answered, “In a nutshell, telepathy is a wonderful thing—is it not?”

  Baltor nodded his head up and down a few times, before asking, “Where in the universes do you want to go and celebrate?”

  Only a few moments later, Trendon added, “I’m thinking somewhere where they have Bolinsky ales. Know what I mean?”

  Knowing exactly what Trendon meant, Baltor simply nodded his head one time.

  Trendon confirmed with a smile, “Navigator, plot us a course for the Sharia…timeframe, make it fifty-years-to-the-day after the first time you left, in order to rescue me from Hell…or Guttuary the Second in the year 7,812.”

  “Aye, captain,” Baltor replied, before beginning to plot the coordinates into the nav-computer.

  Meanwhile, Trendon continued to say, “After I’m gone, one of your missions will be to stop that ruthless dictator before he destroys your world-republic. This man’s rank and name is Supreme-Chancellor Maul. He will be easy enough to remove from office, as he has no magical powers…you do, but even if you didn’t, you still are the greatest warrior in the universe. Also, just so you know, there may very well be more battles and wars that you will have to win on your own in ‘the future,’ as the Creator God always loves to throw in ‘shocking new variables’ into the equation…trust me on that.

  “And, of course, one day in the long-distant future when ‘the divine sign’ is finally given, you will select your next apprentice—similar to the same way I selected you, where he or she must master his or her own realm first before the real training begins. It shall be your choice as to the realm for your new apprentice to master—I chose for you to remain in the world you were born in for obvious reasons.”

  Again, Baltor nodded his head one time, but this time he didn’t say anything as his mind had already begun to consider the possibilities.

  Trendon added, “One day, he or she will aid you—perhaps in eradicating all evil once and for all, and ultimately winning the game of good vs. evil…perhaps not. So, is your course plotted?”

  “Aye, aye, captain.”

  “As always, most excellent. Navigator, execute rift,” Trendon ordered.

  Baltor replied as before, only a second before he pushed the correct button—within twenty seconds, the universe had already folded in on itself. On the other side of the rift existed planet Sharia with her two moons far off the in the distance…only a million miles away.

  Once on the other side and flying closer to the planet at the speed of light, Trendon ordered, “As it is nearing midnight in Pavelus, park the ship inside the coliseum, yet leave the invisibility on—trust me, it’ll be safe for the few hours we’re here.”

  “Aye, captain.”

  Perhaps a minute later, he parked the ship inside the coliseum. Once safely on the ground, he turned off the engine, ordered the computer to leave the invisibility on, set the joystick onto the armrest, took off his helmet, stood up, and set the helmet down onto the other armrest.

  Looking over, he saw that Trendon had not only magically changed his wardrobe into “stylish attire of the times”—wearing a white-furled long-sleeve shirt with a black leather vest, pants and boots—yet Trendon had also opened a magical portal that floated in the middle of the air.

  Looking through the portal, Baltor discovered a fifty-foot long alleyway, which alley sat between two sandstone buildings that were both two stories tall. At the end of this alley existed a well-lit cobblestone street that was actually “pretty busy “for this time of night—the steady traffic consisted of folks driving horse-drawn carriages or steering horses or camels, including guards or soldiers. Most of the pedestrians, though not all, strolled down the concrete-paved sidewalks.

  With Trendon in the lead, the two men passed through the portal, which closed right behind them—not even ten seconds later, they had already rounded the corner onto the street, making a sharp left.

  Above the door in the building on their left hung a sign that showed the picture of a skewered pig, and below the picture, the words, “The Roasted Pig.”


  Inside this bar that had no windows, they could hear a large group of men singing a merry song in perfect harmony—although this happened to be a bar that Baltor had never before visited, he had passed by it many times.

  The two men, once inside the entrance, strolled their way for the two one-man couches sitting near the fireplace, which couches even had a wood table sitting between them. All the while, they continued to listen to the song that the group of twenty men harmoniously sang in the far-right corner of the bar:

  Victory’s been achieved, best you believe,

  We’re now men, free of slavery!

  Through this song, revealing our deeds,

  We’ve now achieved, immortality!

  Let’s not forget those heroes slain,

  Their memories pave the way,

  Time for another day,

  I know you feeling what I say—hey!

  The best is yet to come,

  As we have a little fun!

  The best is yet to be,

  We’re not done with this story!

  Listen up my friend, this ain’t the end,

  This just the beginning and now we all winning!

  Keep on grinning and keep on shining,

  Yet always be a minding!

  Of them things that we do and all them things we say,

  Maybe we even pray so we can learn them plays!

  To winning this here game, touch down all the way,

  So don’t let that hate be consuming up your day!

  The best is yet to come,

  As we have a little fun!

  The best is yet to be,

  We’re now done with this story!

  As soon as the very last word of the “quite moving song” had been sung, every man in the group had purposefully stretched it out for an extra fifteen seconds, before the song was once-and-for-all over.

  Immensely proud of their combined-singing abilities, they began to heartily clap their hands together, or if holding a mug filled with a beverage, click their mugs together in toast…all cheered and whooped out!

  Already having taken a seat near the fireplace, Trendon and Baltor even lightly clapped—these singers indeed had “talent.”

  Only seconds after the song had concluded, a young woman—who had jet-black hair tied up in a ponytail, radiant-blue eyes, a gorgeous face, and wore a black-waist-apron wrapped around her yellow sundress—approached Trendon and Baltor. With a smile, she greeted in Pavelian, “Top of the evening to you, gentlemen…what can I get you?”

  Trendon was the first to glance over and answer, “Two Bolinsky ales, please.”

  “Coming right up, cuties,” she said before leaving to get their order—in the next moment, the group of men had just stopped clapping and cheering, although they continued to laugh, chat, and/or drink with each other.

  Trendon threw his gaze over Baltor, observing that his apprentice was staring deeply into the fire. A few seconds later, he said in Russian, “No one around here will understand this language, which is the language we will both use for my final briefing, of which I am now about to deliver after our waitress leaves with our drinks…okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Only moments later, the waitress had returned with their drinks, setting a topped-off mug next to each of her guests. While looking back and forth at each of her two guests in turn, she asked, “Will there be anything else you guys need now?”

  Baltor looked over, before answering, “No, thanks, but keep the ales coming our way, please. Okay?”

  “You got it,” she said before turning to head over to the group of singers. After all, quite a few of them were now politely waving their empty mugs around at her.

  Trendon briefed in Russian, “By your 10,000th birthday, you must already have found your apprentice, who is ready to become the master…so that you can retire when your time is over. That is, of course, unless you and your apprentice somehow manage to win the war between good and evil once and for all, which is the one and only thing you and I didn’t have the time to accomplish. However, even if you don’t finish the game, which is perfectly okay—until the day your apprentice becomes the master, you are now the one and only ‘Master Watcher and Protector of the Universal Realms.’ Understand?”

  Baltor nodded his with complete understanding head one time, before he took a nice drink of his beverage—it was, as always, delicious!

  Trendon did not drink, yet continued with his briefing, “Only when ‘The Divine Sign’ is given, which probably won’t happen for at least 5,000 years of so, you are to choose your next apprentice. Give him or her ample time to master his or her realm first, before showing him or her any of the other worlds or realms…that is, if he or she should succeed.”

  After picking up his own mug and taking a nice-sized drink, he added, “And finally, choose wisely this apprentice…hoping but not forcing him or her to do good, even though the path of evil exists before him or her. Like I was ready to do with you…”

  Following this, Trendon took another nice-sized drink—at the same time, Baltor looked deep into the fire and asked, “And what if my apprentice chooses the wrong way? Chooses the side of evil?”

  “Then you will need to do what I was willing to do,” Trendon replied. “And that is to destroy your apprentice into oblivion, and find a new replacement…”

  With quite a bit of shock, Baltor looked back over and said, “Wow… So had I made the wrong choice, you really would have destroyed me?”

  “Yes…I need my apprentice, my ally, and of course, my leader—someone who I can totally depend on to continue what I began…one day shy of 10,000 years ago.”

  Baltor asked, “Why not you and I finish what we started right here and now, Trendon? Win the war versus good and evil?”

  “Because tomorrow is my birthday, know that I have run out of time…furthermore, I am weary of all this war, especially having been imprisoned and tortured in the Ninth Plane of Hell for thirty long and hellacious years…felt like a million eternities times a million eternities!”

  “I totally understand,” Baltor said, just having finished off his drink and setting the mug onto the table.

  Only seconds later, the waitress had returned with another full mug of ale for Baltor. After setting the full down and picking up the empty, she asked, “What language are you guys speaking? I’ve never heard it before.”

  Trendon smiled, “It’s a language called Russian from a land called Russia.”

  “I’ve never heard of that language or that land before. Where is this Russia?”

  “Far, far, far away,” Trendon answered as cryptically as he nearly always did.

  “Oh,” she replied with a whole lot of wonder.

  A few moments later, she asked, “Well, do you guys want anything to eat? The kitchen will only be open for another fifteen minutes. I can get you guys some menus if you’re interested.”

  “Yeah,” Trendon said with quite a bit of enthusiasm. “Sounds perfect!”

  “All right, I’ll be back momentarily,” she said, just before she turned to leave.

  Out of the corner of Baltor’s left peripherals, he had seen her eyes glow like a prismatic diamond, though it had only been for a split second, as she was now facing and walking the other way!

  Looking over at Trendon with bewilderment on his face, Baltor whispered aloud in Russian, “Did you see that?”

  Trendon’s look instantly changed to confusion, just before he took a quick drink. After swallowing, he asked, “See what?”

  “Her eyes…they glowed like I’ve seen your eyes glow many-a-times…like prismatic diamonds!”

  Trendon’s look changed to even more confusion. Nearly ten seconds later, he asked, “Are you serious—already? Wow!”

  Suddenly, Baltor felt chills running up-and-down his back…he could answer with a question, “Already? Already what?”

  Trendon’s head began to nod up and down, just before he said, “I only now sense a lot of potential, intelligence and power in o
ur waitress. Her name is Marina…a diamond in the rough she is. No doubt she has the potential to be ‘your apprentice…’”

  “How do you know? Did your read her future?”

  “No, Baltor…I didn’t have to. When I first met you face-to-face, your eyes glowed like prismatic diamonds to me!”

  “Wow…well that’s exactly what I saw in her eyes. By the way, when did you first meet me face-to-face? In the tower when you made me an immortal?”

  “No,” Trendon replied, before he began to chuckle. A few moments later, he explained, “Actually, my first encounter with you happened when you were a young boy…but I was in disguise. For many-a-years I had role-played the drill instructor of your drill instructor and taught him all the martial arts moves he knew…”

  “You mean you were Master Lupan?”

  “Yes….”

  “Whoa,” Baltor said right before feeling shivers run up and down his spine…yet again!

  Not even two seconds later, Marina had returned, handing a menu to each of the guys in turn—Baltor noted that her eyes were normal this time as she said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes to get your order…take your time.”

  “Thank you,” both men said in Pavelian.

  Right away, she pivoted around on her toes, before walking over to take the order of two new elderly-patrons who had just entered into the bar, and then go back and take care of the group of men, whose numbers had diminished by half…although the remaining men were still conversing loud and drunkenly and wanting even more ale…

  “You’re right then,” Baltor said in Russian. “Therefore, I will offer her the choice to become ‘an immortal’ sometime tonight if-and-when when I feel the time is right. If she agrees, I want to put her on a brand-new planet I don’t even know about—but where? Also, I must be honest when I don’t think she will want to become one of us.’”

  “Don’t be so sure of that—give it a shot and see where it goes,” Trendon replied. He next looked down at his menu. Baltor followed suit a few seconds later.