There’d been no sign of her by the time he called it a night and retreated to his bedroom in the basement. He’d been granted another reprieve, but honestly, he would rather get the conversation over with. This waiting was not making it any easier.
~*~
Adrianne stared at the closed door, feeling a bit like she was under house arrest in her suite of rooms. She’d been awake for an hour and still hadn’t left her room. But this couldn’t last forever. For one thing, she was hungry. If she’d been smart, she would have brought a few granola bars or some fruit upstairs with her after she’d eaten supper the night before.
As she’d thought about the situation, Adrianne had come to the realization that Connor controlled her life. From the moment his words had crushed her sensitive teenage heart, everything she thought about herself was filtered through what he’d said to her. And now he was controlling her life once again. His words were keeping her a prisoner. Quite literally.
Adrianne took a deep breath then slowly exhaled. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman. Connor Mackenzie was not important to her anymore. What he’d said years ago didn’t matter. What he might think of her now didn’t matter. He was going to be a part of her life, but not in any significant way, if she could help it.
Pushing up from the window seat, Adrianne walked toward the door. She was physically prepared for meeting Connor. She’d done her hair and makeup even though it was a Saturday. She wore her favorite light pink sweater over a comfortable pair of jeans. Now she just had to get her head into the game.
As she stepped onto the landing, Adrianne immediately heard voices coming from downstairs. She could do this. What more could he do to her? Surely if he said anything out of line, Alex or Melanie would say something.
Moving slowly, Adrianne walked down the stairs then turned in the direction of the kitchen. She spotted several people seated at the breakfast nook, but she didn’t join them right away. First, she needed her coffee with a dash of hot chocolate.
“Morning, Annie,” Alex said as he came up behind her. He slid his arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. “Missed you last night.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I was ready for a quiet evening at home,” Adrianne said, glancing up at him before turning her attention back to the coffee. “Did you have fun?”
“As much fun as eating in a restaurant can ever be.” Alex turned to lean back against the counter and crossed his arms. “What are you up to today?”
Adrianne lifted her mug to her lips and took a sip, relishing the warmth as the hot liquid slid down her throat. “I have a few errands to run, so I’ll probably be out most the day.”
“I can’t believe you’re going to brave the mad crowds this close to Christmas,” Alex said with a shake of his head. He glanced over to the breakfast nook. “Have you talked to Connor yet?”
Hoping that her expression didn’t betray her, Adrianne shook her head.
“C’mon.” Alex straightened. “Have some breakfast. We’re catching up on what he’s been doing since high school.”
Adrianne wanted to decline the invitation, but she couldn’t avoid the inevitable. Better to get it over with so she could stop dreading it. “Sounds like…fun.”
Alex grinned and slid his arm back over her shoulders when she turned around, guiding her toward the table.
“Hey, sis,” Melanie said when she spotted them. “Sit next to me.”
Adrianne sat down on the chair beside her sister. Steeling herself, she allowed her gaze to roam the table, smiling at Rebecca and Jordan. When she finally looked at Connor and found his gaze on her, she fought to keep the smile on her face.
His dark brown hair was more styled than it had been as a teenager. It was a bit longer on the top while shorter around the sides. He had a bit more than just scruff on his face but not quite a full beard. Definitely a change from the last time she’d seen him.
At that moment, Adrianne hated herself as much as she hated him. Given what had gone on between them, nothing about him should have been attractive to her. Unfortunately, everything that had physically drawn her to him as a teenager had only been magnified by maturity. She hadn’t anticipated that, and she certainly didn’t want it.
“Hello, Connor,” she said along with a slight nod of her head.
“Hi, Adrianne.” He didn’t smile at her, but then she hadn’t smiled at him either.
Having no desire to actually hold a conversation with him but needing to do something to diffuse the tension that stretched between them, Adrianne turned to Melanie. “You all ready for Christmas?”
Melanie’s gaze went to Connor and then back to Adrianne. Her eyes narrowed briefly before Adrianne saw her sister’s expression change. It was literally a light bulb moment as Melanie’s eyes went wide. Her mouth opened slightly as comprehension dawned.
Adrianne had no doubt that Melanie had just recalled the conversation they’d had one night awhile back where she’d revealed what Connor had done to her—although at the time she hadn’t said who it had been. Just that the guy had been a friend of Alex’s. If only she’d held on to that information just a little while longer, Melanie wouldn’t have had a clue what Adrianne was having to deal with at that moment.
When Melanie’s brows drew together, and she began to scowl, Adrianne grabbed her leg under the table and gave a small shake of her head. This was not something that needed to be dragged out into the open. And as far as she was concerned, it could stay in the past where it belonged. If she’d had any idea that Connor would one day be back in their lives, she never would have told Melanie about what had happened.
But there he was, sitting across the table from her, his expression completely unreadable. Slowly it dawned on her that she had focused so much on what would happen when she saw him face to face for the first time that she hadn’t put any thought into what would happen after that.
After she had moved a pancake from the platter to the plate Alex had set down in front of her, she glanced over at Melanie and tried a different version of her earlier question. “You get all your Christmas shopping done?”
“Actually, I haven’t.” Melanie leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. “Can I tag along with you?”
The fork in Adrianne’s hand paused on its way to her mouth. She lowered it back to her plate and frowned at Melanie. “Really?”
“Yep. I still have a few things I want to pick up. Where’re you planning to go?”
“Can I come too?” Jordan asked.
Adrianne felt her control on the day ahead begin to slip away, but maybe having Jordan along would prevent any questions from Melanie.
“Actually, Jordan, maybe you should spend some time with your uncle,” Melanie suggested with a glance at Connor. “You’re not gonna want to hang out with Adrianne and me. Plus, we might be buying something for a certain someone.”
Jordan grinned, easily taking the bait Melanie had dangled in front of him. Although, given that it was their first Christmas with him, it might not necessarily be a misdirection. “Yeah. Wouldn’t want to prevent you from doing that.”
Adrianne sighed and continued to eat her breakfast as conversation flowed around her. She tried not to listen as they asked Connor about what he’d been up to and what his future plans were. However, it was hard to ignore the dread in her stomach when she heard him say that he was going to be sticking around the Twin Cities. Not that that news was really a surprise since his sister and nephew were both moving there.
Suddenly not hungry anymore, Adrianne set her fork on the edge of her plate and took a sip of her coffee-hot chocolate. Having heard them talk a little about Connor’s background, Adrianne wondered what the chances were that he’d end up at BlackThorpe. It seemed Marcus and Alex were always on the lookout for guys with military training. Connor Mackenzie would no doubt be a real prize for them in that regard.
Maybe she’d have to start looking for a new job as well as a new place to live.
Melanie nudged Adrianne
’s arm. “You done?”
2
Adrianne finished the last of her coffee then nodded. She put her mug on her plate before leaving the breakfast nook. Melanie followed right behind her, and together they put their dishes in the dishwasher.
“I’ll see you guys later,” Adrianne said as she smiled at those left at the table. Though she knew that her time with Melanie would likely include an inquisition, Adrianne was anxious to get out of the house. “I just have to run upstairs and grab my purse. I’ll be right back.”
Melanie nodded and said, “I guess I should grab mine as well.”
Ten minutes later, the two of them were in Adrianne’s SUV. Though the sky was cloudy, at least it wasn’t snowing, and the car heated up quickly as Adrianne headed for the gate at the end of the driveway.
“So where did you want to go?” Adrianne asked as she pressed the button to open the gate that guarded the entrance to Alex’s property.
“Didn’t you have somewhere you planned to go?” Melanie leaned forward to adjust the vents in front of her seat. “Or was that just an excuse to get out of the house?”
Adrianne glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure the gate closed behind them before turning onto the road that led to the highway. “Pretty much just an excuse to get out of the house. I don’t really need to buy anything more for Christmas.”
“In that case, how about we go to a coffee shop or someplace where we can sit and talk,” Melanie suggested. “I probably could still pick up a few things if we want to make sure we come home with some bags.”
“I’m on board with the coffee shop. We can swing by a store on the way home.”
Adrianne guided her SUV toward a coffee shop near a mall that wasn’t too far away. It was a favorite spot of hers when she needed to get out of the house, and sometimes she met her best friend, Janet, there for coffee.
After she’d parked, they walked together into the building. It wasn’t a chain shop, but they had a good selection of different types of drinks, and they also offered a variety of pastries. Since she wasn’t terribly hungry, Adrianne just ordered a coffee and Melanie did the same. Once they had their drinks, Adrianne led the way to a low round table with armchairs on either side of it.
As she settled into her seat, Adrianne looked out the window next to their table, watching as cars slowly filled the parking lot of the nearby mall. She was surprised that the coffee shop wasn’t busier, but she supposed most people venturing out into the pre-Christmas shopping mayhem weren’t too interested in stopping for coffee. At least not yet. Maybe once their shopping was all done, they’d be drawn to the aromatic warmth of the cozy shop.
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Melanie finally said, “He’s the one you were telling me about, right?”
Adrianne looked over the rim of her coffee cup at her younger sister. It was weird to see her with blonde hair and blue eyes once again. For so long she had dyed her hair dark and worn brown contacts, but falling in love with Tyler had brought about many changes for Melanie. Adrianne was happy for her sister and the direction that her life seemed to be moving in now.
For a long time, she thought that Alex and Melanie would actually have made better twins than she and Alex. They had much more in common with each other than Adrianne had with either of them. And now they both had the thing that Adrianne had wanted for so long. Love. Family.
The only good thing about the recent changes in Melanie and Alex’s lives, especially Jordan’s arrival on the scene, was that her mom had stopped bugging her about getting married and having a family. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that Adrianne’s biological clock still wasn’t ticking loudly in her own head.
“Yes. Connor was the guy I told you about who said those things to me in high school.” Adrianne had carried that knowledge alone for such a long time that it felt weird to tell Melanie and to know that there was now another person besides her and Connor who knew what he’d said to her.
“I’m actually kind of speechless about all of that,” Melanie said with a frown. “Like, I don’t even know what to say.”
Adrianne shrugged. “I really don’t know what there is to say. Obviously, there is no way for me to avoid him since he is basically part of the family now.”
“Are you going to tell Alex?” Melanie scrunched up her nose as if already considering that scenario and coming to the same conclusion Adrianne had.
Adrianne took a sip of her coffee then lowered her mug to her lap, keeping her hands cupped around it for warmth. “No, I don’t plan to tell Alex. What would it accomplish? Would he ban Connor from coming to the house?” Adrianne shrugged. “You know he’d never do that to his wife’s brother.”
“You’re right, of course. Still, it feels weird to know what Connor said to you and yet not tell Alex about it. At some point, he’s going to notice the tension and awkwardness between you and Connor.”
Adrianne stared out the window for a moment before turning her gaze back to Melanie. “I’m still not going to tell him. What’s done is done at this point, you know? Telling him won’t change anything for the better. It would only make things worse.”
Melanie frowned, and there was a bit of sadness on her face. It mirrored the sadness Adrianne felt in her heart. Alex was no longer just their big brother. In all their years as siblings, Alex always came to their defense whenever it was needed. But now there were people who were more important in his life. Telling him about Connor would force him to take sides. Would he speak up and risk upsetting his wife or would he keep quiet and say nothing in Adrianne’s defense?
Ever since Adrianne had realized that Connor would be coming back into her life, she’d known that was not a question that she wanted to find out the answer to. So no, she didn’t plan to tell Alex anything about her experiences with Connor in the past. In fact, Melanie didn’t even know the extent of what had gone on between the two of them. And for the sake of the family, that knowledge was something that Adrianne didn’t plan to share.
“Do you think he’s going to say anything to you about it?” Melanie asked as she shifted back in her chair, mug cupped in her hands.
“I have no idea. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to have a conversation about it, especially if he is planning to stick around the Twin Cities. Since he and Rebecca have no other family around, I’m going to assume that he’ll probably be included in a lot of the things we do.”
“I got the feeling from listening to him and Alex talk earlier that Alex is interested in Connor’s skills. He might end up hiring him at BlackThorpe.”
Melanie’s comments served to reinforce what Adrianne had thought earlier when she’d been making plans for her future. She debated for a moment about sharing those plans with Melanie then decided she might as well since they would become apparent eventually.
“I’m going to be moving out of the house.” Adrianne lifted her mug and took another sip, watching as surprise spread across Melanie’s face.
“You’re going to move out because of Connor?” Melanie asked, her brows drawing low over her blue eyes. “Why would you do that?”
“It’s partly Connor, but it also just makes sense. It sounds like Alex plans to let Connor stay in the apartment when Rebecca and Jordan move into the house. Jordan deserves more than just the guest room in the basement. I figure he could have my rooms. And it makes more sense for me to move out than you since you’re probably going to end up with Tyler at some point. You’d get a place of your own only to have to move again when the two of you tie the knot.”
Melanie shook her head and frowned. “That plan isn’t in the works just yet, plus it doesn’t mean you need to move out. I really think Jordan would be okay in the guestroom.” She lowered her mug to rest on her leg, staring down at it. “But if this is really about Connor, I guess I can’t blame you.”
“Yeah, it is more about Connor than about the space, but maybe it’s also just time. I mean, I’m in my thirties and still living with my family. I feel
like I’m in a holding pattern, just waiting for the right guy to come along so that I can move forward with the rest of my life. But what if the rest of my life doesn’t include marriage and a family? Maybe that’s not God’s will for my life. I think it’s time I started to take steps forward and move out of this holding pattern I’ve been in.”
Melanie seemed to consider her words as she slowly nodded. “You do deserve to live your life, and I can see what you’re saying about living in the house being a sort of waiting room.”
“That’s why I think it’s time for me to look for a home of my own. And instead of waiting for a man to come along and complete my life, I need to do the things that I want to do now. Sure, I would love to do them with a husband, but that doesn’t mean I should deny myself just because I haven’t met the right man yet.” Adrianne watched as a couple walked past the window holding hands and tried to ignore the longing it brought. “I want a home. I want to travel. I just can’t keep putting these things off anymore as each year that I procrastinate brings me closer to forty, with dreams that are still unfulfilled. I think getting a house for myself is the first step in fulfilling those dreams.”
Melanie smiled at her. “I was kind of upset when you mentioned moving because of Connor, but now I can see that maybe this is the right thing for you. As long as you’re sure that your decision isn’t just solely based on Connor, because you can’t let him control your life now. I suspect his words have controlled you for a long time. But if his presence is a catalyst to help you move forward in your life, then I am glad for that.”
Adrianne had kind of surprised herself with her words. Though she’d been focusing on Connor being the reason for moving out, everything she’d said to Melanie had been true. She was tired of waiting for someone to come along and share her dreams. She didn’t need a husband to buy the home she wanted. She had a good job. She made enough money to be able to do that for herself. And she could travel. It would be more fun with someone close to her, but at the same time, she knew she could do it on her own and still enjoy herself.
Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5) Page 2