Loosen Up

by Robin Leaf

  “You okay?” I asked him.

  “Aye,” he nodded, right before he turned a darker shade of green. “Maybe not.” He covered his mouth and burped. “I think you were right.”

  “Well, duh, Fionn. Day-old unrefrigerated sushi for breakfast is never a good idea.”

  At that, he bolted out of the room.

  “Darby, you ready?” Scott, one of the escorts for Comic Con, asked.

  “I need to wait for my bodyguard.”

  “You have a room full of fans waiting who paid a lot of money to meet you.” He threw up his hands, turned around, and mumbled something about uppity actors and ridiculous demands. He collected himself and turned to face me with a fake smile. “There are enough of us in there that nothing will happen to you, I promise. He can meet us in the room.”

  I looked to Dakota and Brantley for advice, but they were in what seemed to be another one of their quiet heated discussions.

  I sighed and shrugged. “Fine. Lead the way.”

  ~~~

  I never knew it was possible to sign my name 642 times in thirty minutes. I also didn’t know I had that many fans who would pay extra for the opportunity to meet me. It was both humbling and ego-inflating.

  “You can go back to the green room now,” Scott, my escort, told me.

  “Do you mind taking me there? I don’t remember…”

  He launched out of his chair. “God, you actors are so needy,” he mumbled again.

  “You know what. Never mind. I’ll find it myself.” I walked away two steps and thought better of it. I stopped, turned, and said amiably to him, “By the way, Scott? I imagine that you’ve been treated badly by other actors in the past, but I’ve been polite to you, and you’ve responded with nothing but hostility and rudeness.” I smiled and softened my tone, belying my malice. “Maybe you should find another job where you don’t have to deal with us needy, uppity actors. A job that would make you happy so you don’t come off as such a total asshole.” I blew him a kiss.

  I wish I took a picture of the look he flashed me. Shock, shame, and ire all crossed his face at once. That took talent.

  I turned and walked down the hallway, not really remembering if I was supposed to go right or left, so I was monumentally turned around. I found a set of double doors I thought looked familiar and opened them. Mistake. I exited into the middle of the superhero portion of the Comic Book exhibit. And of course the doors locked behind me.

  I started walking along the wall, curious to all the people dressed up like characters from the comics.

  “Lyric,” someone said low in my ear while grabbing my upper arm painfully. I turned to see the same man who was escorted from the panel discussion earlier. He looked weird, pissed yet anxious, his comb-over plastered to the side of his red, sweaty face. Something about his eyes weren’t right. I had to think quickly.

  “Thank Hades, I’ve been looking all over for you. I wanted to apologize for my remark. I really hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”

  Confusion laced his features. “Yeah, that was not nice.” His grip loosened, and I took the opportunity to step away from him.

  “No, you’re right; it wasn’t. I hope you can forgive me.”

  He almost pulled my arm out of its socket and slammed me tight against him. His face transformed to downright scary. “No, I won’t.”

  The flash of black startled me before I tumbled to the ground in a tangle of sweaty bald man and black latex. I tried to differentiate what happened, but I rolled through the struggle going on next to me in an effort to stay out of the way of flying limbs. A knee, or maybe it was an elbow, hit my nose, forcing me to see stars. Finally, arms grabbed me to help me sit up, and a blurry pair of hazel eyes stared into mine.

  “Are you okay, Miss?” a husky feminine voice asked. I couldn’t really focus on the face of the voice. I blinked and looked next to me to see an unmoving heap.

  “Did you kill him?” I asked.

  “No, but he’s out. It seems I might have broken your nose.”

  I reached up to feel my nose as chaos erupted, people swarming around us from all directions. Security guards whisked me and my nose breaker away to a secluded room somewhere in the convention center. She was taken to the other side of the room, and I was seated and assessed by medics while police officers questioned me.

  About twenty minutes later, an ice pack was applied, and Fionn sat down next to me.

  “The medic says it’s not broken,” I told him before he asked. “How do you feel?”

  “Better. I’m sorry, lass.” He ran his hand over his head. “Noah’s going to be so angry.”

  I closed my eyes and moved the icepack higher. “I’m sorry, too. I should have insisted Scott walk with me back to the room.”

  “Yeah, that was a bit of a dumb move, Darby.”

  “Miss Cheetwood.” I recognized the leader of the team of nerds’ voice, “on behalf of the Comic Con staff, we want to apologize…”

  “Not necessary,” I snarked. I was not interested in an apology at this point, so I really needed to take a deep breath to calm down. One problem: the in-through-the-nose thing wasn’t exactly an option right then. “It was an unfortunate chain of events.” I tried to smile, but it hurt. I winced. “I would, however, like to press charges against…”

  “It was an accident,” the husky voice rushed out in a panic. “I didn’t mean to break…”

  “Yes. We assure you that our employees are trained to act in your best…” the two voices spoke over one another.

  I held up my hand. Once everyone quieted, I continued. “I want to press charges against the guy who attacked me.”

  “He’s in custody, ma’am,” came from a voice I did not recognize. “We have your statement and we will contact you if we need anything.”

  “Good.” I adjusted the ice pack again. “Since he was escorted out of the panel discussion, I am surprised he was allowed to roam free. Oh. And you might want to reprimand Scott. He seems to think not too highly of actors.”

  “He’s already been let go, ma’am,” the king nerd reported.

  I sat up, the ice pack sliding off my face. “I didn’t necessarily want him fired.”

  “His responsibility is to escort the actors and take care of their needs.” The nerd smiled. “He didn’t do his job, and it resulted in you getting hurt.”

  I nodded and assessed the room around me. The officers were leaving, and the king nerd stood in the center of the room, wringing his hands. My black latex savior stood against the wall, her hands on her knees, breathing deeply. I stood and approached her.

  “Hey.” I waited for her to look at me. Those heavily-made-up hazel eyes were killer, and her lips were perfect. The tight body suit clung to her breasts and her killer curves. She was taller than me, but her platform stiletto, thigh-high, patent-leather boots covering her latex body suit added probably four inches to her height. She looked like every nerd’s fantasy. Her unnaturally red hair, obviously a wig, swung each time she breathed. “Thank you for…”

  She snickered and interrupted. “You’re actually going to thank me for breaking your nose?”

  “It’s not broken. But no, I was going to thank you for coming to help me. That guy was unhinged.”

  “I noticed.” Her breathing evened and her lips curled up at the edges.

  “So, who are you?” I asked, waving to her outfit.

  “Allison Carlisle.”

  “Okay, I actually was asking for who you are supposed to be, but your real name is good.”

  She smiled. “I am dressed as Black Widow.”

  I returned her smile. “Darby Cheetwood,” I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  When she slid her hand into mine, my tummy jumped. I dropped her hand quickly, but we stood looking at each other (why I’m not sure) until Fionn approached.

  “Darby, I need to get you back to the lair and face the music,” he announced.

  “Hey, Fionn O’Cleirigh, my sickly Irish warrior, this
is Allison Carlisle. She’s the reason I’m not currently getting carved in a basement somewhere.” I turned to him. “So, fuck off for a minute while I get her number,” I turned back to her, “so I can thank her for saving my ass. She’s at least earned dinner.”

  She smiled. “I graciously accept.”

  Fifteen

  “Kung Fu Fighting” – Carl Douglas

  I was to meet Allison in fifteen minutes. A week after the Comic Con incident, we planned to meet at a trendy restaurant. I had to give some time for the black eyes I sported to be less noticeable with just the right makeup application. As luck would have it, she lived in L.A., too. I was kind of looking forward to having an honest-to-goddess girls’ night out, except Noah insisted he come with me. He was not completely on board with me meeting a random stranger, no matter what his thorough background check proved.

  “I told you before that you can’t trust anyone. Until I meet this woman, you will not be alone with her.”

  “You know, Noah, I already have a big brother,” I teased and winked at him. “I really don’t think I can handle another one.”

  “In less than two weeks, your big brother will be my full-time employee, which makes you a company little sister. I’m doing what he can’t from overseas.” He glanced at me and smiled. “We take family seriously.”

  My heart warmed. “That really is sweet.” He smiled. “Tell me though, if she was some crazed fan, why would she save me?”

  “She may not be a fan. Maybe she is working some con,” he rationalized calmly.

  “Holy Hera, Noah,” I threw up my hands, “not everyone is as dishonest as you seem to think.”

  “In my line of work, they are, more often than not.”

  “Maybe you need a new line of work.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

  “Look, Fionn already failed you…”

  “He didn’t…”

  “Yes, he did,” he said sternly. “You got hurt on his watch. I’m not going to let that happen again. Ja…” he closed his eyes. “Dex would kill me.”

  I stared at him for a moment. “You almost said Jase, didn’t you?” He kept staring straight ahead. “Look, Noah, he hasn’t lived up to his promise. He hasn’t called or Skyped all the time like he said he would. It seems he’s apparently moved on from me. Therefore, he doesn’t get a say in my life anymore.”

  He pursed his lips. “He’s been… busy.”

  I turned toward the passenger window. “Yeah, well, so have I.”

  He sighed. “You have to know how much he misses you, Darla.”

  “Then why hasn’t he answered my calls? I’ve gotten emails, an occasional phone call, but mostly, I get his voicemail. I apologized to him back in February, but ever since then, we haven’t been the same.”

  His hand rubbed his chin and gave me some serious side eye. “Did he explain about her?”

  “No, and I didn’t ask. Like you told me, she’s none of my business. She can have him.”

  He slapped the steering wheel. “God, you two piss me off. I feel like the father of two sulky teenagers.” He growled in frustration. “Both of you just need to grow the fuck up.”

  We were silent the rest of the way to the restaurant. He pulled up to the valet stand and jumped out of the car. I waited like he trained me to do for my safety, but after he opened my door, he didn’t help me out or wait for me; he just walked straight into the restaurant.

  Rude.

  I must have really pissed him off if he gave up his self-imposed responsibilities and concern for my safety so easily.

  I glared at him as I entered, and together, we approached the hostess stand. “Hi, I’m Darby Cheetwood,” I announced to the overly perky girl who looked to be barely out of her teens. “I had a reservation for two, but apparently it’s turned into a threesome. I hope that doesn’t cause any problems.”

  “Of course, Miss Cheetwood,” she chirped. “If you and your party will give us just a minute to prepare the table.”

  “Um, you might want to ask before you go booking threesomes,” a husky voice snickered.

  I turn to see a woman dressed in a black halter swing dress and red high heels with matching clutch. I could tell she was probably a few years older than me. Her makeup was flawless, complete with difficult-to-master winged eyeliner and red lips, and her platinum blonde hair was arranged into a pompadour. She looked like a perfectly gorgeous pin-up girl, so different than she was dressed when we met, but I’d recognize those hazel eyes anywhere.

  “Hi, Allison,” I pointed to Noah. “This sulky guy is Noah Reed, my bodyguard, who is here to make sure you aren’t going to try to trap me with some nefarious scheme.”

  She looked amused and held out her hand to him. “I assure you I am not.” They shook. “What happened to Fionn?”

  “Noah here blames him for me getting hurt. He’s been temporarily demoted.”

  She tried to hide her smile and failed. “You put him in a time out?” she asked Noah.

  I laughed. “Essentially, yeah.”

  Noah narrowed his eyes, but he otherwise remained his stoic self.

  “Miss Cheetwood, your table is ready,” our overly enthusiastic hostess interjected. “If you will follow me, please.”

  As I took a step forward, I collided with the hostess booth, which caused me to lose my footing and start to fall. Graceful hands wrapped around my torso, stopping me right before I face planted. Suddenly surrounded by the scent of jasmine, which I inhaled deeply, I turned to see those hazel eyes. They seemed to be laughing at me.

  “Well, that could’ve made your black eyes return.” She steadied me and let go. “I think I understand why you need a bodyguard. Are you always this accident prone?”

  I smiled. “Not usually. I guess I just thought you needed to feel like a hero again.”

  She returned my smile.

  “Ladies, I’d love to watch the two of you flirt all night,” Noah deadpanned, “but our hostess is waiting.”

  “We weren’t flirting,” I mumbled.

  “Is he usually this grouchy?” Allison whispered.

  “No, I made him mad earlier. He is really just a big old teddy bear.”

  Noah’s features relaxed as he held Allison’s chair. “I’m not old.”

  I seated myself and tried not to feel bitter about that. “I forgot.” I dropped my voice to a stage whisper. “He’s a little sensitive about turning thirty-one last week.”

  He shot me a look and huffed as he sat down. “Actually, Allison, the real reason I invited myself to dinner is that I wanted to speak to you about working for me.”

  My eyes shot to Noah. “What? I didn’t know you were going to do this.”

  “That’s because I didn’t tell you on purpose,” he said to me. “Your face gives too much away.”

  “I can hide things, Boo Boo. I act for a living.”

  “Maybe, but I wasn’t taking any chances, Kung Fu.” He slightly smiled after using my nickname, and I knew we’d be okay.

  The waitress interrupted to take our drink orders and tell us about the specials. We each decided to go ahead and order. Allison ordered a bacon cheeseburger, which brought about an unexpected pang of nostalgia over the last person I was with who ordered one.

  Allison turned to Noah. “I’d like to hear the offer.”

  Noah nodded. “Miss Carlisle, before I start, I have to admit that I ran a background check on you.” Allison’s eyes grew so wide, I wondered if she was going to shoot lasers at him. “I do it with all my potential employees, usually with their approval. Honestly, I didn’t know that you would be a potential employee before I started the check, which I ran because of your possible relationship to Darby here. However, once I learned your history, I was… intrigued.”

  She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Go on.”

  “You carry at least four fifth-degree black belts in different styles of martial arts. You work as a stunt woman and have choreographed fight scenes for several studios’ projects. I was hoping th
at between your stunt work and appearances as superheroes, you would consider coming to work for my firm.”

  She sat back, crossed her legs, and placed her hands in her lap. “I am not thrilled with guns, so if you are going to require me to carry a firearm, I’ll have to stop you right there.”

  “Actually, I was hoping you could teach my men defensive maneuvers and develop their martial arts skills. I know you dream of opening your own martial arts studio one day. This could help to get you started.”

  Allison rubbed her lips back and forth. “It’s a little disconcerting that you know this about me.”

  Noah smiled. “I’m thorough in my background checks. And everything I revealed this evening was pretty easily learned.”

  She crossed her arms. “Just so you know, last weekend aside, I normally like to avoid hand-to-hand.”

  “Yes, and I understand why.”

  She looked down. There was a story there, but before I could ask, Noah continued, “However, I want you to train my boys, not necessarily beat them up. Maybe perform a job or two as a bodyguard, sans firearms.”

  “I can’t believe you crashed my date to offer her a job,” I said under my breath.

  “I had to meet her,” Noah said to me. “On paper she was impressive.” He turned to her. “I watched the security footage from the Comic Con incident. You kick some serious ass. I’m sure you would have been even more impressive if someone didn’t keep getting in your way.” He looked at me. “You did a great job avoiding harming the civilian.”

  “Almost broken nose and black eyes to the contrary,” I pointed to my face. “And since when am I a civilian?”

  “Actually,” Noah’s eyes sparkled, “you were crawling away, and the perp hit your hand out from under you. You fell right into her knee. It was kind of hilarious. We watched it several times in slow-mo. I can show you the footage when we get…”

  I help up my hand. “Not necessary.”

  She swung her foot back and forth and addressed me, suppressing a smile. “It was awfully presumptuous of you to assume this was a date.”

  I opened my mouth to say something and closed it.