Loosen Up

by Robin Leaf

“I sent it,” Fionn admitted.

  Noah, Jase, and I gawked at Fionn, complete with open mouths and raised eyebrows.

  He smiled. “Look, I have been close to you, Darby Lou, since the beginning of your career. I have watched you pine for this man here for so long, my heart broke right alongside yours. Now, I love my brother, too. I witnessed him fall for Allison, something I never thought I’d see.”

  “But how did you know…”

  “I live in the apartment with Bryan, Darby. I heard them. Ally is rather… loud.”

  I smiled. “That she is.”

  Jase shot me a look, and I just shrugged and smiled bigger.

  “I wanted everyone to be happy,” Fionn continued. “So I had the idea to send the email. I sent it anonymously because I didn’t want Bryan to find out I did it. But now that everything has worked out this way…”

  “Fionn, why didn’t you just come to me?”

  He grinned. “I didn’t want to be the one to hurt you unnecessarily, lass. Plus, I figured it’d be more entertaining to watch Jase win you back. I had faith he would know what to do.”

  “You’re just a big romantic at heart, aren’t ye, Fionny?”

  His face turned seven different shades of red. “Yeah, well, if you could, please keep that secret to yourself, Darby Lou.”

  Noah laughed. “I promise not to keep your secret.”

  “Fuck ye, Noah.”

  “Yeah, up the ass,” I added.

  Jase laughed and kissed my nose. “With two dicks.”

  Forty Nine

  November 2016

  “She’s Got A Way” – Billy Joel

  Positive.

  All three read positive.

  Allison called me last week to hold her hand while she took her pregnancy test. She asked me rather than Bryan because I shared her previous struggles. She wanted me because I knew how to handle her when it went south. I agreed because above it all, we were friends and I loved her as one. I was truly happy for her and a little sad that we would not be sharing the parenting like we planned. I would again be the cool aunt. She would be the best mom.

  Oh, if I had only known then.

  We came back to London two days ago to get Jase ready for the move back to the states. He had been making the transition to open an L.A. office of his globally successful financial firm. I suggested it would be better to open it in New York, but he insisted he wanted to be close to family. I’m glad now, because I knew I couldn’t do this without them.

  I stared at the three tests in front of me, not sure what to make of them.

  Face it, dumbass. Jase and I shagged like fucking rabbits and never used a condom. What the hell did I expect?

  Yet I still stood there, staring, stunned.

  Fuck.

  Was I happy? Yes. Extremely.

  The question was would Jase be.

  “Love, are you okay?” Jase asked from outside the bathroom.

  He didn’t know what I suspected. He hasn’t been around me enough to know I was a week late. That was my only symptom. I was late. I snuck the tests past him yesterday. I waited until morning like the boxes suggested, and he was clueless.

  “I’m…” I swallowed. “I’m fine, great even, but I’m not sure how you will be.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Come in and see.”

  He opened the door and searched for my face. Once he saw me, relief poured over him, but his eyes caught the three sticks on the counter. Moving in for closer inspection, he picked up one test.

  “You might not want to touch that. I mean I peed on it and all.”

  He dropped it quickly with a plink into the sink. So he just looked at the other two.

  Whipping around to face me, he was in front of me before I could blink, lifting me to him and devouring my mouth. It was the desperate, messy kiss I remember from the first time he really kissed me back in that hotel room all those years ago.

  I pulled back. “Wait. You’re really okay with this?”

  I felt the tile under my feet as he lowered me down gently. “Darla,” he breathed in that curse/prayer way and leaned his forehead against mine. “I have wanted this since forever ago. This,” he placed his hands on my hips and ran his thumbs along my lower stomach, “binds us together always. You have a piece of me inside you right now. We love and we created.” He nuzzled his nose against my cheek and whispered. “This was the last thing I put on my bucket list, the one thing I never thought I’d get to do with you.” He lifted me in his arms and kissed me tenderly as he walked us to the bed. “I’m more than okay with this.”

  ~~~

  March 2017

  “Wait, so you’re not a lesbian?” Vanessa asked, seemingly confused, rubbing her enormous belly.

  “I never actually told you I was. I just said that Riley was not my type.”

  “Yeah, because he didn’t have estrogen,” she said, seemingly still confused. “And you were with Allison…”

  “For ten years. And I don’t really like labels.” I sighed. “You were looking at me like I was competition for you, Vanessa. So I told you basically the truth that was easier to explain. Riley is too much like my brother. And yes, I was with Allison until she…” I stopped myself, not wanting to make Allison look like the bad guy here. “Jase is the love of my life, always has been.” I took a bite of the enormous brownie in front of us, straight out of the pan. “There were circumstances that led us to not be able to be together, so we weren’t. Allison and I fell apart when we did the whole fertility thing and it became the focus of our lives. Things went south for us, so Jase and I got a second chance.”

  Vanessa’s face turned into one of contemplation. “Yes, fertility issues can be stressful and tear couples apart.” She turned to look at our men talking in the kitchen. “And Jase is a major hottie. He’s almost as tall as Riley.” She purred. “And those smoldering eyes and that jawline… damn.”

  I giggled. “Down, horny girl. Keep to your own penis.”

  “I would love to, but these babies get in the damn way lately. The only way that’s comfortable is when Riley is behind me. If he feels the babies move, then he stops so he can, quote, ‘marvel at the wonder of the lives inside’ me when Momma just wants to be ridden hard, ya know?”

  I sat back and put my hand across the barely visible bump I had yet to tell them about. “How much longer do you have?”

  “We went to the doctor yesterday. He says it could be any time in the next two weeks. My due date is not actually for three weeks, but these twins WILL come early if it kills me.” She spooned up some jalapeños onto her nacho. “That’s why we have nothing but spicy foods tonight. My Gram says it helps.”

  I reached into the pan again and scooped a heap of chocolaty goodness in my mouth. “Is this the same Gram who pats Riley’s butt all the time?”

  She nodded. “At Emily’s wedding in front of all the guests, she loudly told everyone that Nathaniel Slaughter had a better ass than Riley does.”

  It is possible for brownie to shoot out of my nose.

  Vanessa and I both lost it, laughing until we couldn’t breathe.

  “Oh,” Vanessa said, sobering and sitting up. “What the…” she stood and looked down, so my eyes followed her line of vision.

  Her pants were getting wetter by the second. She sat back in the chair and doubled over, yelping in pain.

  “Uh, Riley,” I called loudly. “I think your wife’s water just broke.”

  “Okay, I’m getting her another one.” He turned to open the fridge.

  “No, dumbass, her WATER just broke, and I think she’s having a contraction, as in the babies are coming.”

  He turned to stare at me like I grew two heads.

  “I’ll go next door and get Dr. Drakena.”

  “How about you go get some towels and help your wife to the car?”

  “Yes, I need the hospital. Hospitals have epidurals. I need all the good drugs. I’m not liking this already.”

  ~~~
/>
  “This is Keith Robert,” Riley said, handing his son to Jase. “And this… is Lily Maize.”

  He placed his daughter in my arms. “Wow, Riley… really?”

  “Of course I named her Lily after my mom.”

  “No, her middle name? It’s…”

  “After her cool aunt Darbs.” He looked over at his wife. “Vanessa and I both wanted to honor the woman who helped us get together.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off that sweet little face. “I never told you my middle name.”

  “I couldn’t let them name the kid Lily Darby like they wanted to, Love,” Jase piped up.

  Vanessa sat up straighter in the bed. “So, when you do this in a few months, Darby, I highly recommend the epidural. Watch this…” she pushed a button next to her bed. “Drugs at the push of a button. Of course, this may only come with the C-section, but still… it’s fuckin’ awesome.”

  Riley rolled his eyes. “No cursing in front of the babies, Vanessa. We agreed.”

  “Oh, fuck, right. Sorry.”

  The boy let out a squeaky wail, followed quickly by his sister. “It’s time to feed them, so you two gotta go. She’s still a little gun shy about breastfeeding in front of…”

  I giggled as I looked over at Vanessa, her breasts already out of her gown. “She doesn’t seem too shy, Riley.”

  Jase practically threw Keith at his dad. “Congratulations, guys. Darla, I’ll be out here.”

  “Sorry about that. Jase hasn’t seen many boobs in his life.” I handed Lily over with a kiss to her forehead. “Wait… how did you know about our baby, Vanessa?”

  She made a face as she got the boy situated. “I read people, Darby. I knew you were pregnant the moment you came in our house last night.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Riley smacked his forehead. “Whoa, congrats, Darbs. Wow, our kids really will be besties.”

  “They will, and I thank you so much for giving Lily my middle name. I’m touched beyond words.” I hugged him. “But just so you know, I’m not returning the favor by naming my kid Melvin.”

  Fifty

  July 2017

  “You’re My Best Friend” – Queen

  “Did you ever think we’d be here, Darla?” Jase said lazily, rubbing my belly as I rubbed his head in my lap. He talked to the kid all the time in this position, so I was startled when he spoke to me.

  “Honestly? No, Jase. There was a long time where I never thought we’d ever be together.”

  He kept rubbing, feeling for where the baby would move next. He didn’t seem to know that the kid was lulled by his rhythmic rubbing. It’s when he stopped that the baby moved, but the rubbing felt so good to me, I never clued him in.

  “I always held out hope for us.” He looked in my eyes over my enormous lump. “You and I were destined. I think that the time apart made us more appreciative of what we have now.”

  I smiled. “You once told me we’d be toxic together.”

  “I lied. And I’m not proud of it. I hope you’ve forgiven me for it.”

  “I’ve taken the time to look at things from your perspective. I get what you did, and I appreciate it. You came from a place of love. Your intentions were good, unselfish even.” I sighed. “I thought about what I would have done if I was in your shoes.” Smiling, I admitted, “I probably would have tried to walk away from you, too.”

  He sat up. “You wouldn’t have gotten far, because I would have chased you to the ends of the earth.”

  I twisted my lips to the side. “So are you mad at me because I didn’t?”

  He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “No, Love. You did just what I wanted you to do.” He kissed my other cheek. “I love you more than I can express to you.” He pulled my forehead to his lips. “It’s absolute. Real. Tangible. Right here in front of you.” He kissed my lips. “You are so very perfect, and for the rest of my life, I will make up for every day I made you feel otherwise.”

  I sank into his kiss, one of his “I cherish you” kisses. It was a languid, lazy kiss, but one full of promise.

  His tongue entered my mouth, and I moaned. My moan sparked him to up the intensity.

  I urged him to stand, reached for his pants, pulling them below his cock, and took it into my mouth, moaning around him.

  “Jesus, Darla, slow down.”

  I didn’t listen. I took him deep, swallowing and sucking him like candy.

  I cupped his balls, fondling while I sucked him faster.

  My other hand gripped him tightly and helped my mouth.

  I pressed against that spot right behind his balls, the one that might as well be a “Jase come now” button, and he didn’t disappoint.

  “God dammit, Darla,” he muttered as he slowly worked his spent cock in and out of my mouth. “Why did you make me come? I really wanted to fuck you.”

  “Well, Jase, I think that’s the last time we’ll be able to do that for a while,” I said, wiping my mouth with the napkin he brought with the breakfast I didn’t feel like eating. “I’m pretty sure I just had a contraction, and I knew you wouldn’t fuck me if you thought I was in labor.”

  He paused, pulling up his pants. “You think you’re in…”

  “I think I’ve been having them most of the night. They’re about seven minutes apart.”

  “Holy, shit, Darla, seven minutes? Are you in pain?”

  “They’re like little twingy cramps, but they’re starting to get stronger, yeah.”

  He started scurrying around, picking up the bag we packed last week, calling in the cavalry while he put on his shirt and shoes.

  “You need to get dressed, Love. I’ve called Fionn. He’s going to drive us.”

  “Honey, chill, we have time.”

  “This is my kid, Darla Maize, and he will not be delivered on the side of the road by your Irish bodyguard who has a propensity for passing out at the sight of bodily fluids.”

  Standing gingerly, I giggled. “Good point.”

  Ten minutes later, Fionn, Noah, and Joe arrived.

  “Goddess, this didn’t need to bring out the whole company.”

  “Fionn is driving, I am here for medical support, and Joe is here…” Noah lowered his voice to a whisper, “in case Fionn passes out.”

  “Grace be to God, when will that stop being a thing with everyone?”

  I laughed with Joe as he hoisted me into the car.

  The ride to the hospital only took two contractions, one when I got into the car and one right when we pulled into the circular drive. Noah helped me out while Joe helped Jase collect all our overnight bags. Fionn retrieved a wheelchair, and right when he pulled it in front of me, my water broke.

  Fionn hit the pavement like a sack again.

  ~~~

  Eighteen hours.

  Eighteen hours of some pretty intense pain.

  Ten of those, I refused drugs. By the time I got some, they did little good.

  Looking into the face of my son made me forget most of the pain. I wouldn’t forget how Noah and Jase both tag teamed my labor like troopers, but the pain was insignificant.

  Jase hogged the baby most of the time, so now it was my turn.

  “So have you named this kid yet?” Noah asked.

  I cleared my throat. “Jase, you wanna tell him? I don’t think I can without blubbering.”

  Jase smiled and held out his hands. I reluctantly handed over my son, who was placed in Noah’s waiting arms.

  “Noah,” Jase said, taking a minute to clear his throat, “meet Reid Dexter Heywood.”

  Noah’s eyes bulged. “Are you fucking serious?” his voice cracked, looking down at Reid.

  I watched as a slew of tears fell on the boy’s forehead.

  “Watch the waterworks on the baby, Boo Boo.”

  “I’m absolutely honored, but why?”

  “We got the idea from the Tates, and thought we’d start a new tradition. We both think that without you, we wouldn’t be together. You held us together and kept us sane… mostly any
way. So, we named our kid after you. It’s spelled differently, but the sentiment is real.”

  He walked over and hugged Jase, kissing him on the head. “Thank you Jase, so much. You’re like a brother to me.”

  He walked to me, giving me a longer-than-a-chaste kiss on the lips. “And you know I adore you, Kung Fu.”

  I felt the adrenalin wearing off. A wave of exhaustion threatened to pull me under, and quickly. “Guys, I’m drained. Do you think you can watch the kid while I take a long nap? Jase, wake me when he’s hungry.”

  “Sure thing, Love.”

  I let the darkness drag me under. I awakened later, where I overheard Jase talking to our son, telling him our story while I slept. It made me smile as I fell back to sleep.

  Epilogue

  Jase

  “Work Song” – Hozier

  “Jase, your heart function is less than fifty percent. You have to go on the registry now.”

  “No, doc. I’ve led a good life. I’m over seventy now, and my kids are grown,” I squeezed Darla’s hand. “My wife and I have discussed it. There’s no sense taking a heart away from some young stud who could use it more than I can.”

  Dr. Chiefton, who had been my cardiologist since I returned from England all those years ago, sighed. “If that is your final decision.” He turned to leave the room but spun around to face me. “I really wish you’d reconsider, you old fool.”

  I smiled. “You’re not much younger than I am, you old coot.”

  He nodded and looked to Darla. “You’re okay with this decision?”

  “Not really, but it’s his to make. He insists he has some good years left in him. We have the winery and the kids run it now. The grandkids make him feel young. He’s happy. I don’t have much to add to that. I don’t blame him, doc. It’s a long recovery for a fifty-fifty odds he won’t reject the new heart.”

  “Rejection meds have come a long way, Darla.”

  “I get that, but he’s right. He’s led a happy life; I’ve made sure of that. I respect his decision and vow to make the next few years his best.”

  Dr. Chiefton nodded and left the room.

  Darla stood to retrieve my shirt from the hook on the wall. “I still have a few things I haven’t done on my bucket list,” I said, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to me.