“No! No, don’t!”
“Harper! Wake up. It’s okay. I’m right here.”
She woke with a start. It took a moment to realize where she was. She was in Ethan’s cottage, in his bed. She reached for him, and he enfolded her in his arms.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice muffled against his broad chest.
“Shh. Don’t worry. Did you have a bad dream?”
“I saw them. My parents.”
He stroked her hair and held her a little tighter. “It was only a dream.”
After what they’d shared tonight, she had to tell him the truth. If she kept this from him, there would always be something between them. Secrets had a way of bubbling to the surface, no matter how deep one tried to bury them. She leaned back to look into his face.
“My parents … they died on the lake like I told you. But that’s not the whole story.”
He brushed the hair from her forehead. “What happened?”
“They were found floating on the water, their canoe overturned. When they pulled her out, the police discovered a huge gash on my mother’s forehead. She’d been struck hard with a paddle. The police speculated that my parents got into an argument and my father became so enraged he hit my mother as hard as he could with his paddle. She fell backwards into the water and since she was likely unconscious, she drowned. She was an expert swimmer, had even been a lifeguard during her teen years and through university. If she hadn’t been so badly incapacitated, she could have saved herself.”
“What about your dad?”
“He wasn’t a strong swimmer. In fact, he couldn’t do much more than dog paddle. Some believed that either the canoe overturned when he struck my mother, or he jumped in after her and tried to save her. Others speculated he held her head under the water until she drowned. The police decided it was a murder/suicide he’d either planned in advance or happened spontaneously in a fit of passion. They believed that when he realized what he’d done, he couldn’t live with the shame, and he drowned himself.”
“Christ.”
“No matter which theory you subscribe to, it doesn’t make them any less dead. And it still means my father murdered my mother.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. Though so many years had passed, the impact of their deaths hit hard. It still felt like yesterday.
“It makes a big difference, especially to you. I choose to believe he tried to save her, that he hadn’t meant to hurt her.”
Harper looked up into his face. He didn’t look shocked or appalled by what she’d told him. She had to know the answer to her next question, but she couldn’t quite look him in the eye, so she stared at his bare chest. “If you change your mind about the project, about this,” she said, indicating the rumpled sheets they’d slept in, “I understand.”
“Why the hell would I want to change my mind about anything?” He sounded almost angry at her for suggesting it.
“Because I wasn’t honest with you. People around here have been gossiping about Solace Lake Lodge for twenty-two years. There’s a stigma attached to this place. Maybe no one will want to come to an inn where a murder took place. I didn’t tell you about things in the lodge’s past that could affect its future. I’m sorry, and I understand if you want to back out of the project.”
“I knew what happened here.”
She sucked in a breath and brought her gaze back up to stare at him. “What?”
“After you told me your parents drowned in the lake, I wanted to know what happened. I read newspaper accounts from the time, so I knew it wasn’t an accident. But that’s in the past and I don’t believe it has any bearing on what we’re doing here now.”
Harper sat up, rubbed the tears from her face. “But you didn’t say anything.”
“I figured you’d tell me in your own time. And if you didn’t, I understood why. It’s a painful part of your history.”
“And what about us? Do you want a personal relationship with a murderer’s daughter?” Even though she’d conquered her fear about making love with him, she could still lose him.
He cupped her face with a warm hand. “What happened in the past has nothing to do with you, or with us. Besides, I don’t believe he meant to kill her.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “He was a good man, a good father. But I don’t get to remember him that way.”
He sat up and leaned against the headboard before pulling her into his arms. “I hate that this has caused you so much pain.”
“Not only me.” She burrowed closer to him. “My sisters grew up without parents, too. Maggie doesn’t even have memories of our parents, only the gossip that surrounds their death. Our grandparents suffered. My paternal grandfather was a judge, a good, honest, ethical man. He couldn’t accept what his only son had done. It was too much for him. He had a heart attack and died a few months later. My maternal grandparents, the ones who raised us, were never the same after they lost their only child. Grandma Dorothy had always been strict with a million rules we all had to follow. But after my mother died, she became bitter and angry. Part of the reason I left to go to college was to get away from her. I left Maggie and Grampa to fend for themselves.”
Guilt brought fresh tears to her eyes. “The angrier Grandma become, the quieter Grampa got. After she died, he didn’t care about anything anymore. They both died sooner than they should have.”
Ethan stroked her hair. “I’m sorry, Harper.”
She laid quietly in his arms, his gentle strokes soothing her. She closed her eyes, but she doubted she could sleep again. The scene from her dream kept replaying in her head. Over and over she saw her father hold her mother’s face under the water. Had her father intentionally murdered her mother, or had it been a spur of the moment lashing out, one that he immediately regretted, the way Ethan believed?
Ethan. He knew, and still recommended that Mr. Hainstock invest in the lodge. She touched his bicep, loving his physical strength and his strength of character.
How she loved this man.
She turned in his arms, bringing her bare breasts against his chest. His chest hair teased her sensitized nipples into hard buds, awakening an arousal she’d thought sated. She wound her arms around his neck.
“I can’t sleep.” She kissed his chin, his stubble rasping against her lips.
He kissed her mouth and the passion in his kiss told her they were on the same wavelength. “What do you want me to do about it?”
“Make love with me again. No holding back this time.” Her hand drifted down his body and found him hard and ready. She encircled him with her hand, a bold move she would never have thought herself capable of even yesterday. “You know you want to.”
He made a deep growling sound in his throat. “Dammit, Harper. You’ve been through a lot tonight. I’m trying to do the right thing here, but it’s damn difficult with your hand around my cock.”
She ignored his hesitation. Instead, she climbed on his lap and faced him. His penis was poised at the entrance to her body and the thought of him inside her again, of his mouth on her, made her wet with desire. She took his hand and placed it on her mound. “I want you. See how wet I am for you?”
Ethan’s mouth crushed hers in a deep, drugging kiss. At the same time, he inserted two fingers inside her, expertly finding her most sensitive spot. She came with a shattering force that thrilled her.
This is what I need. To feel alive.
When her climax subsided, she barely had time to recover before he removed his fingers and reached for another condom. He slipped it on, then repositioned her so she could impale herself on his hard shaft. She lowered herself slowly, taking him inch by inch. He filled her, stretched her. This angle was so different from before, the sensation an exquisite agony that set her blood on fire.
He let her set the pace while he gave his full attention to her breasts. He cupped them in his hands, rolled the nipples between his thumbs and forefingers until she wanted to explode. She leaned toward him.
“Oh, God, I’m
coming again.”
He continued to fondle her while she climaxed, making the ecstasy last even longer than before. Her inner muscles clenched around him.
When the waves of pleasure finally ended, he lifted her once again and lay her flat on her back. Then he was on top of her, inside her once more.
“Tell me if this is too much for you. Promise me, Harper.” His eyes were glazed with desire and she understood he was on the edge of control.
“I promise,” she said. She’d have to be split in half before she stopped him.
His first thrust made her eyes roll back in her head. Instinctively, she lifted her hips and arched her back to meet the next one. Over and over, deeper and deeper. He felt so good inside her, like he belonged there.
She wanted to be like this with him always.
He came with a shout and collapsed on top of her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him tightly while his breathing slowed. She loved this closeness between them, this moment of connection.
She loved him. She wanted to tell him, wanted to shout it from the rooftops of Minnewasta, but the feeling was too new, too fragile. And she had no idea how Ethan felt.
When Ethan woke the next morning, the sun was beginning to lighten the bedroom. He rolled onto his side to check the time, being careful not to wake Harper. It was almost eight. In a short time, he’d have to wake her so she could get ready for her trip to Minneapolis. But for right now, he wanted to watch her sleep.
She was beautiful, his little blonde angel. He didn’t think there was anything she wouldn’t take on, whether it was a huge renovation project, a snowmobile motor, or a newborn’s tiny knitted hat. Harper was the strongest, most amazing woman he’d ever met.
Last night had been a revelation, to say the least. At first, when he’d told her he’d acquired the extra money for the renovations and she’d offered her body, he was sure he was being played. But he wanted her so much he was willing to take anything she offered, despite his doubts. Then he discovered she’d never been with a man before. All his doubts were blasted away. She wouldn’t offer up her virginity simply because of the money.
That she trusted him to be her first humbled him. He hoped her first sexual experience had been wonderful for her, so wonderful that she’d want to repeat it often.
With him. Only with him, a possessive voice inside him added.
She’d trusted him with her secrets and the truth about her parents’ deaths, too. Trust didn’t come any easier for her than it did for him. She’d gifted him with her body and her heart, and it was a gift he could never repay. All he could do was treasure it.
It was his turn. He had to tell her the truth. Today. Now. She’d trusted him and now it was time for him to trust her.
And he did trust her. She’d never betray him or play games. She was good and honest down to her marrow.
I love her.
The thought caused his throat to close with emotion. He loved her. He never thought he’d feel this way about a woman again, never thought he’d find someone like Harper.
His body stirred. He wanted her again with a ferocity that almost scared him. No, that wasn’t quite true. He needed her. Somehow, she’d become the missing piece of his life that he hadn’t even realized he was lacking.
He stroked her blonde head. He’d tell her truth this morning. But right now he needed her.
Ethan kissed her forehead, her eyes, her hair as he ran his hand over the smooth skin of her back and hip. The intoxicating scent of warm, fragrant woman surrounded him, making him crazy with need. He willed his hands to be gentle as they caressed her. He’d never known a woman with softer, more silky skin. It invited him to touch, and he couldn’t get enough. When he cupped one perfect, small breast in his hand, she moaned sleepily, her eyes still closed.
“Ethan.”
She kneaded his shoulder with her hand, a smile on her face. God, how he wanted to always keep that smile on her face. He needed her smile like he needed air to breathe.
He needed her.
Harper’s hand drifted down his chest, gently caressing while at the same time burning a trail of fire along his skin. When she touched his erection with one tentative finger, tracing a path from the base to the tip, he nearly lost control. He pulled her against him and groaned, his eyes closing. All he wanted to do was feel.
“You like that?”
He could barely speak. “You know I do.”
“Tell me what else you like. Tell me what you want me to do.”
With anyone else, he would have dismissed the words as simple pillow talk, an attempt to be sexy. But because of Harper’s inexperience and innocence, her request was genuine. She wanted to please him.
Love for her expanded in his chest. It filled his whole body, heart, mind and soul.
He opened his eyes and looked into her expectant blue ones. Did she know her heart was in her eyes when she looked at him like that? Like he was the only man in the world, in her world?
“I like when you touch me. Wrap your hand around my cock, Harper.”
She did as he asked, holding him gently as if he were made of glass. But even her lightest touch nearly sent him over the edge.
“Like this?” she asked.
He took a breath and dug deep for control, wanting to let her explore and become comfortable with his body. But it was killing him not to lay her on her back and plunge inside her, feel her sweetness surround him.
“You can hold me tighter.” Sweat broke out on his forehead. “Move your hand up and down.”
When she did, it nearly undid him. His control was stretched to the limit but he hung on, needing to please her as much as she wanted to please him.
“I want to kiss you,” she whispered against his ear. “Like the way you kissed me. Intimately. Down there. Would you like that?”
Hell yeah. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”
When she leaned back to look at him, her eyes were clear and determined. “I want to. Would you like me to?”
“Yeah.” His mouth was so dry he could barely get the word out.
Her eyes lit with excitement. “Good.”
She pushed him onto his back, then kissed her way down his body, stopping to lick and tease along the way. Her long hair brushed against his sensitized skin, making him grip the sheets.
The first lick of her tongue over his cock nearly knocked him off the bed. And when she took him in her hand and guided him into her warm mouth, his whole focus narrowed to what she was doing. He lifted his hips in a silent plea to take him deeper. She understood what he needed. Her tongue worked over his cock even as she took all of him into her mouth. Such exquisite torture.
But if she continued, he couldn’t hang on a moment longer. He reached down to touch her face. “Baby, stop.”
She let him go. When she looked up at him, worry lines furrowed her brow. “Am I doing something wrong? Am I hurting you?”
“You’re killing me, baby. In the best possible way. But I can’t wait any longer.”
In one quick move, he flipped her onto her back and laid beside her. He found the opening to her body and inserted a finger, grateful to find her slick and wet and ready for him. He couldn’t wait much longer.
He reached for the box of condoms on the night table and with shaking hands, sheathed himself. Nudging Harper’s knees apart, he positioned himself over her, supporting his weight with his arms, his cock touching her mound.
“I need to be inside you,” he whispered, shocked by the desperation he heard in his voice.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands clutching his shoulders. “Yes. I need that, too. Hurry, darling.”
It was all the invitation he needed. He slid inside her, her moist heat enveloping him. For a second, he simply reveled in the sensation. Then he withdrew as far as he dared and plunged deep inside her. She moaned his name. “Ethan.”
The sound of his name on her lips snapped the last shred of his restr
aint. He thrust inside her over and over, harder and deeper. She stayed with him, lifting her hips to meet him every time. He was so damn close. But he wanted her to come with him.
The next time he withdrew, he replaced his cock with his finger, curling his knuckle to stroke her from the inside. Her eyes flew open.
“Ethan! Oh, my God!”
Her body shook with her orgasm. He slid inside her once more and his own orgasm was immediate. Wave after wave swept through him, over and over, until he thought he would die right there on the bed from an overdose of pleasure. But eventually the spasms eased and he fell on top of her, too exhausted to even roll over.
“I’m too heavy,” he mumbled against her neck.
“I can take it.” He heard the amusement in her voice. “You’re a featherweight.”
He mustered the energy for a chuckle. “Yeah, right.”
“I’ve got you exactly where I want you.”
Her hands ran up and down his back, gently kneading and caressing. Ethan exhaled in pleasure and completely relaxed against her. He’d never experienced this intimacy with a woman before. He wanted this closeness, this completeness, every day. With Harper.
After a few moments, he summoned the energy to roll off her and onto his side. He pulled her to him, not ready to let her go.
She snuggled against him. “I can’t say I’ve ever been woken with more… enthusiasm before.”
He nuzzled her sweet-smelling neck. “Consider me your new alarm clock.”
Harper laughed and reached over to caress his face. “I look forward to it. Starting tomorrow morning?”
“You bet.”
She yawned and stretched. “Speaking of alarms, what time is it?”
Ethan leaned over her to look at the clock. “Eight thirty-five.”
“Eight thirty-five? Oh, my God!”
Harper jumped out of bed. “I should have been on the road a half-hour ago. I told Maggie I’d be in the city by ten.”
Ethan slid out of the bed and disposed of the condom in the bathroom. When he came back to the bedroom, Harper was frantically searching for her clothes, tossing blankets and sheets in the process. He found his jeans in the corner where he’d tossed them in his rush to make love to her last night and pulled them on.
Lies and Solace Page 21