The Daddy Dilemma

by Karen Rose Smith

  “Easy, Sara. I’m not going to grill you. Not if you don’t grill me.”

  She looked into Sam’s steady brown eyes. He shot from the hip, just like Nathan, and she might as well do the same. “Everyone handles disappointment or loss in their own way. If this is where you need to be and what you need to do, no one should try to convince you otherwise.”

  “You know what happened?”

  “Yes. But only because your family is worried about you, not because they were talking behind your back, or confided anything to me.”

  “So why did you come up here with Nathan?”

  “He wanted company.”

  “Nathan wouldn’t lock himself in a car with a woman unless he had a very good reason.”

  Sara felt her cheeks heating up, and it wasn’t from the warmth coming from the wood stove insert.

  “Hmm,” Sam said. “That’s a subject we can explore after I get to know you better.” His boots on his feet now, he grabbed his coat from the back of the armchair and headed outside to help his brother.

  Patches traipsed after his master.

  Turning to the cooler, Sara began unpacking.

  A few minutes later, the brothers reappeared with the rest of the supplies. Although the microwave would have been the obvious way to cook the hot dogs, Nathan insisted he’d be chef for the night. He split them, pan-fried them while the beans warmed, then popped a slice of cheese in each until it melted. The result, Sara decided, was delicious. They folded them in rolls, added mustard or ketchup, and enjoyed them with the baked beans and carrot sticks.

  “Great supper!” Sam declared after he’d finished his third hot dog. “Better than the beef stew I was going to warm up out of a can.”

  “So you’re not sorry we came?” Nathan asked mischievously.

  “No, not sorry. I just wish you could convince Dad and Ben that I’m fine.”

  “How much longer are you going to stay up here? Really. Eric’s got to have his hands full, covering for you. I saw Corrie at the gas station. She asked about you.”

  “She’s wasting her talent, being a vet tech. She should go back to school and finish her degree.”

  “Do you know why she dropped out?”

  “Nope. We never talked about that.”

  “She’s worked for you for what? Three years?”

  “About that. We joke around, talk about the animals, but never delve into personal history.”

  Since there was only one chair at the table, the three of them were sitting on the sofa. Now Sam reached for his slice of chocolate cake on the coffee table. “Tell Eric I’ll be back in a month or so.”

  “You should tell him yourself.”

  “Cell phones don’t work here unless I drive ten miles up the road. When I come back to Rapid Creek, I’ll make sure Eric takes a nice long vacation. So…” he drawled. “What are we going to do after supper? Play charades?”

  “We can do better than that.” Nathan reached into the pocket of his jacket, which he’d hung on the corner of the sofa. He pulled out a deck of cards. “Either gin or poker.”

  They decided on poker.

  Two hours later, Sam sank back against the sofa cushion. “Sara won all my twigs. Who would believe that someone so angelic looking could bluff so well?”

  She smiled, knowing most of his exasperation was put on. “I think maybe you let me win. Either that or the two of you have something else on your mind.”

  As soon as she said it, she knew she shouldn’t have. Although it was true that both Sam and Nathan had seemed distracted while they were playing poker, she should have let sleeping dogs lie. She had no idea what either of them was thinking, and from the looks on their faces now, they weren’t going to tell her.

  Sam levered himself up off the sofa. “I have to let Patches out. But before I do, we have to decide on sleeping arrangements. You two can have the twin beds in the bedroom if you’d like. It’ll be colder than in here, but you’ll probably be more comfortable. I can bunk on the couch.”

  “We brought bedrolls,” Sara said. “We don’t want to put you out of your bedroom.”

  “No big deal. Sometimes when I work late I crash out here, anyway.”

  “That sounds like a plan,” Nathan agreed, getting to his feet. “Sara, I’ll go out with Sam if you want to get ready for bed and slip under the covers. Is fifteen minutes okay?”

  Although she was living under the same roof with Nathan for the time being, he didn’t know her nightly ritual. It wasn’t much of one. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, smoothed on some lotion, then headed for bed. “Fifteen minutes is fine.”

  Rising from the sofa, she picked up her bag and headed for the small bathroom. At the door she turned to Sam. “If you need some of those twigs, I’ll lend them to you so you have a stake for your next poker game.”

  He laughed, gave her a wink, then called to Patches, who was asleep in his bed.

  The whole time Sara was washing her face, brushing her teeth and applying lotion, she told herself she shouldn’t be nervous about sleeping in the same room with Nathan. There was nothing to be concerned about. She’d be in bed already. He’d climb into his. They’d turn off the light and they’d go to sleep. Simple. Right?

  She should have known nothing with Nathan would be simple.

  Since one of the beds had a cotton spread thrown over it, but no sheets or blankets, Sara untied the bedroll and spread it out on the mattress. Donning her flannel nightgown, leaving her fuzzy pink stocking slippers on her feet for extra warmth, she pulled the sleeping bag over her and tried to snuggle in. The pillowcase was cold under her cheek, but she knew she’d warm up soon. Still, she shivered and curled up.

  When Nathan entered the bedroom, she opened her eyes…and knew she shouldn’t have. He was wearing black flannel shorts, but his torso was bare. Her eyes didn’t know whether to settle on all that thick chest hair or slide down his hair-roughened legs.

  “Comfortable?” he asked as he sat on the metal-frame bed, then reached to turn off the small lamp on the nightstand.

  “I’m fine,” she answered, her voice a bit unsteady.

  When they were in darkness, staring at the moon shining in the window, silence stretched between them.

  Finally she heard Nathan’s bed squeak, and guessed he was turning on his side. To her surprise, he asked, “Do you date much?”

  Her response was spontaneous and truthful. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  That answer was uncomplicated. “In college I focused on earning my degree, getting into a good law school. Law school was tough. I held a part-time job, and what with that and keeping up with my study group, I couldn’t fit in a social life. After I joined the law firm…well, working eighty hours a week doesn’t leave much time for dates.”

  “But you dated…Ted?”

  “Yes. For a while. That was before the accident. Afterward, I reexamined everything in my life.”

  If she told him that Ted had walked away, would she find out how Nathan felt about having more children? Did she really want to have that conversation now, though? Here? When she couldn’t look into his eyes or see his face? When she felt awkward and uncomfortable because his brother was right outside, in the living room?

  Changing the subject, she asked in a low tone, “Are you still worried about Sam? He really does seem to be okay. He just wants some time alone.”

  “He puts up a good front, but he’s not okay. He’s not the recluse type. Walking away from his practice with Eric like that—it’s not like him.”

  “Maybe he’s evaluating his life, trying to figure out if what he’s been doing is what he wants to go on doing.”

  “You two seem to get along.”

  “I like him. He’s much more approachable than Ben.”

  “You’ve got that right. Ben’s the family cynic. You have to prove yourself to Ben before he’ll let you in. Sam, on the other hand, decides when he meets you if he likes you or not. If he does, you’re in.”
/>   “What about you? Are you like Ben or Sam?”

  “I’ve never thought about it. I guess I’m a combination of the two. More cautious than Sam, but not as guarded as Ben.”

  “Thank you for letting me in, Nathan. I mean, you could have made everything so much harder. You could have kept me from Kyle. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’ll always be grateful you gave me this opportunity to get to know him.”

  This time Nathan’s silence lasted until they both fell asleep.

  Sara wasn’t sure what awakened her, whether it was a noise, the rustle of covers, Nathan getting up and going out of the room, or the cold. She was shivering so badly her teeth were chattering. She heard water running in the bathroom, and then Nathan coming back, his tall figure lean and fit and muscled in the shadowy room.

  “What time is it?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

  “About two.”

  At least four or five more hours of this. How could she go to sleep when she was freezing? “Is it warmer in the other room?”

  “Not much. The fire died down. Sam conserves wood at night. Are you cold?”

  “Aren’t you?”

  He came over to her bed and hunched down beside her. “No, I’m not. But I’ve spent lots of nights here over the years. There is a solution.”

  “What?”

  “Come over and sleep with me. We’ll combine our body heat.”

  She could tell from his tone that he was serious.

  “What are you afraid of, Sara? I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman. I’ll put on my jeans. Would that make you feel safer?”

  Another shiver ran up her spine. “All right. We can try it. But with two people in a twin bed, you might not get any sleep.”

  “I’ll sleep.”

  He didn’t wait for her to change her mind, but grabbed his jeans from a chair near the window and pulled them on.

  There were two reasons to crawl into that bed with him. One was getting warm, the other was just being close to him. If Nathan warmed her body, could she warm his heart?

  She felt awkward as he stretched out first, sliding against the wall. But the floor was cold under her feet. She had goose bumps all over and she wasn’t going to stand there and freeze. She sat down on the edge of the bed, then carefully lay on her side, taking up as little room as she could.

  “You’ll fall off,” he teased, his breath warm against her ear.

  “I want you to have enough room.”

  “It’s combined body heat that will make you warm.” His arm went around her waist as he pulled her a little closer. His hand brushed hers. “You are cold. Come on, try to relax.”

  Relax? When his long, hard body was stretched out within kissing distance? When her heart was beating so fast she could hardly catch her breath?

  He stroked the back of her head. “It’s okay, Sara. All we’re going to do is sleep.”

  All they were going to do was sleep.

  Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she wanted to do more than sleep. Yet if she made love with Nathan, she’d have to face all kinds of unanswered questions.

  As his hand slid over her hair time and time again, stroking gently, she felt her body uncoil. The stiffness left her limbs and she nestled against him, needing his heat.

  “That’s it,” he murmured. “You’re safe with me, Sara. I promise.”

  In her heart she knew Nathan was a man of his word. Sleep soon overtook her, and she gave herself up to it.

  When Sara awakened, her position from the night before had changed. In their sleep, and possibly in their desire to be warm, she and Nathan had cuddled together. He was on his back, his arm around her and her head on his chest. Her arm was around him. He was so thoroughly male, with his thick mat of chest hair, muscled arms, masculine scent. If she tilted her head she could kiss his shoulder. If she did—

  “Ready to get up?” he asked.

  “How did you know I was awake?”

  “Your breathing changed.”

  He noticed everything. And if he noticed how much she enjoyed lying there with him, her arm tight around him, she could be in big trouble.

  He was perfectly still, and as she rearranged herself so she could sit up, she found out why. Without the cover she could see the evidence of his arousal.

  Their gazes met…and held. Still, he didn’t move. “Go ahead and use the bathroom to get dressed. Let me know when you’re finished.”

  She wanted to thank him for keeping her warm last night. But his expression was strained, his body taut, and she decided now wasn’t a good time. Hurriedly picking up her bag, then grabbing yesterday’s clothes, which were hanging on a hook on the door, she practically ran to the bathroom.

  Sara felt as if she and Nathan were standing on the top of a volcano. It was just waiting to erupt. The wrong look, word or touch could set it into motion, and then they’d have to deal with the aftermath.

  Her hands shook as she picked up her toothbrush, and the trembling wasn’t from the cold.

  Before Sara finished brushing her teeth, there was a knock on the bathroom door. It was Nathan. “Sam wants to say goodbye. He’s taking Patches out for a walk and we’ll probably be gone when he gets back.”

  Her flannel nightgown was heavy enough and long enough that nothing showed. When she opened the door to the bathroom, she could feel a rush of heat and realized the stove was stoked high again.

  Sam was already dressed in blue ski gear, his snowshoes balanced on his shoulder. “Thanks for coming along with Nathan. Poker’s a lot more fun with three than with two.”

  “It was good to meet you.”

  “Same here. The snow stopped soon after you arrived, so you should be okay going home. Keep her safe,” he said to Nathan.

  Patches trotted over to Sara, licked her hand as if to say goodbye, too, then followed his master out the door.

  Although Sara’s body was covered with flannel, although she’d spent the night in Nathan’s arms, she felt self-conscious as he looked at her. Maybe that was because there was heat in his eyes. Or because his waistband wasn’t buttoned and his chest was bare. Or because they were alone in the cabin, Sam was trekking away, and there was no one else around for miles.

  “I do like your brother,” she said, trying to make conversation and get over the sudden awkwardness at being alone in the cabin.

  “I think the feeling is mutual.” Nathan crossed to her. “He would have been a bear if I had come up here by myself. Probably would have thrown me out.”

  “I doubt that…if you’d brought the chocolate cake.”

  The pulsing silence in the cabin seemed to draw them closer together and wrap them in intimacy. “Sam gulped down a couple of doughnuts when he was getting dressed, but there’s a half dozen left for us. I can put coffee on.”

  “A sugar and caffeine high.” Her voice was decidedly shaky.

  “Sara…” Nathan groaned.

  She heard the same longing in his voice that she’d felt as she’d cuddled with him last night…the longing that tugged at her whenever they were in the same room.

  He tipped her chin up, stared into her eyes and then kissed her. It was a kiss that had waited through a long drive in the snow. That had been anticipated between poker hands. That might have happened when she’d crawled into bed with him, but they’d both been dead set against letting it.

  Willpower only went so far.

  The circumstances and opportunity to let that kiss happen right now were undeniable. They’d never really been alone before, not like this. But now…Nathan was a man and she was a woman, and the chemistry between them was too irresistible to ignore.

  The kiss started hot and flamed hotter. Nathan’s hands danced up and down her back as hers explored his. She didn’t know who made the first intimate move, but suddenly his palms were on her breasts and hers were sliding under his waistband. Pure physical need seemed to drive them both as their lips clung, their tongues danced, their bodies sought closer contact. Tak
ing handfuls of her nightgown into closed fists, Nathan lifted it inch by inch until her backside was bare. Then he pushed her tight against his arousal. She’d never felt anything so erotic. She’d never wanted a union with a man more. They didn’t think twice about where they were, or comfort, or finding a soft spot to land. Once he’d raised her nightgown over her head and dropped it, once she’d pushed down his jeans and shorts and he’d kicked them aside, they were liquid together, melting into each other.

  Nathan pushed the coffee table away, and they dropped onto the rug by the sofa. They didn’t speak, just gave pleasure and took it. Nathan’s tongue laved her breasts while she caressed him with her palm. His groan was gut deep. Her moan pulled the longing out of her soul into the light where she could feel it, see it, touch it and know it was connected to love. Nathan gently touched and kissed the scars from her surgery, then rose above her. She spread her legs.

  He thrust inside of her and she wrapped her arms around him, holding on tight.

  A few moments later, when Nathan withdrew, she felt tears come to her eyes. He wasn’t going to stop, was he? He hadn’t changed his mind, had he? But then he was thrusting into her again, harder and deeper. Even if he had doubts, she knew he couldn’t stop, any more than she could. Her climax began in tingling waves that radiated through her body. One hit and she drowned in the pleasure of it. But then another overlapped the first, and a third one made every muscle in her body tremble. The burst of sensation was so overwhelming she squeezed her eyes shut, dug her nails into Nathan’s back and rode with the thrill until it faded into trembling and exhaustion. Nathan thrust into her once more and she contracted around him. He shuddered…shuddered again…and went still.

  As soon as Sara’s world stopped spinning, she opened her eyes.

  Nathan lifted his head from where it had dropped on her shoulder, and she could see concern in his expression. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. How about you?”

  His lips weren’t far from hers, but he didn’t kiss her. He lifted himself away and sat on the floor beside her. There was a shift in the room. The intimacy they’d shared vanished.