by Iona Rose
For a moment, I envy him.
Suddenly, there’s a shriek resounding through the house and it startles him. With a groan, he turns to hurry towards the kitchen with a flap of his hand at me to come with him. “My master calls,” he says.
With a smile, I stroll behind him.
By the time I arrive in the kitchen, I see that he has settled down on one of the stools at the counter, and before him in a high chair is his pudgy, adorable baby, Alexa. I haven’t seen her in almost a year, so I take a seat on the stool beside him to watch her. Her cheeks are soaked with tears, while her mouth and bib are stained with the pudding like meal he is feeding her.
“Here we go,” he says in a playful voice, complete with sound effects and as a result, yet another spoonful is accepted into her mouth. He does this for about a minute and then places the spoon down to turn to me. “She’s been running a small fever since yesterday, so she’s been restless. But things are calming down now. What’s up? Everything okay?”
I nod in response.
He narrows his gaze at me before turning to pick up a small bottle of water to place in his daughter’s mouth. “I can’t have my full attention on you but I can listen,” he says
An easy silence floats across the room for a while before I speak up, “Blair didn’t come to work today.”
He glances at me, a bit surprised to hear this. “Why? Is everything okay?”
“I received her text this morning, and all she said was that she wasn’t feeling very well. But I doubt that she’ll come in tomorrow either.”
He turns his full attention to me now, so I fill him in on what happened between her and my father the previous day.
For the first time ever, I watch Allen get stunned into silence. “Are you serious right now?”
I cross my arms and lean against the counter. “I’m just as shocked as you are. From the moment we left my father’s place till when we arrived at her house, she didn’t say a single word.
“And then this morning she calls to tell you that she’s not coming in.”
“She didn’t call. She sent a text.”
“Well, maybe she just needs a day to process all of this. That’s pretty normal isn’t it?”
“Perhaps,” I reply, a little forlorn knowing his response is not exactly what I want to hear, but aware that it’s the only one he can give with his still limited knowledge of the depth of the relationship between Blair and me. I contemplate whether to share this with him, truly at my wits end on how to proceed with the current complications.
“There are some things though that I still don’t quite understand from your father’s story,” Allen says. “How did the other fourteen men get involved in the mission? Wasn’t it just the four that were sent in?”
“Blair’s father was finally able to find the signal to contact the base for help. After that, a helicopter was sent after them with other soldiers on board. But as they neared the mountains, they were shot down from the sky.”
“My God,” Allen says quietly. He returns to feeding his daughter, but soon has another question for me, “Why does your father think that he is responsible for this? None of the men from the original team returned alive right?”
“Right, and I asked him that when I returned to his place after dropping Blair off. He said that during that last call, the report he got was that ‘Laine lost his footing and tumbled down the mountain. His gun went off. We’re fucked.’ He was the kid that he sent in place of Jack, so he gathered that the mistake of doing that put the others in jeopardy.”
“But that is just speculation is it not? Anyone amongst the original team members could have also lost their footing or dozed off.”
“Maybe, but bearing this guilt and carrying it like a cross is the only way that he can continue to live with himself, otherwise he might have long ago committed suicide.”
Allen’s sigh is heavy. “Did you know anything prior to this?”
“I did not. I found out at the same time Blair did, and it’s finally made me realize what had been eating him up for the last decade.”
“Wow,” he says and rises to his feet. We are both silent as he processes all that I have just said to him. He cleans his daughter’s mouth from all the smeared food, and takes off her bib. Then he heads over to the sink with the used plates and quickly rinses them off.
I have now locked eyes with his baby and it’s fascinating just how huge and blue her irises are. She is indeed striking and her eyes remind me of another set of deep green eyes that I truly want to look into.
Allen comes over to lift his baby into his arms, and we head over to one of his living rooms. There, he puts her on the carpet in her play corner and she proceeds to keep herself busy with the blocks of toys around.
I’m already seated on one of the sofa’s, so he comes over to join me on it. He watches me for a brief moment before speaking again, “All of this is truly shocking and I can especially understand that Blair would feel quite disconcerted. Do you want me to contact her on your behalf?”
I’m not sure what to say to this, so I just stare blankly at him.
He then pulls his phone out of his shorts.
My reaction is immediate. “No!” I jump to my feet.
Allen looks startled by the outburst. “Wha- What’s wrong?”
I withdraw my outstretched hands and slip them back into my pocket. I can’t exactly return to my seat, so I just hold his gaze.
“Grady, what’s going on? Do you want me to contact her or not? Isn’t it your concern that she might be taking things too hard and you want to find out how she’s doing?”
“Yeah.” I nod.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“I think I should be the one to do it.”
He seems confused. “Then what’s stopping you? Is it because the both of you aren’t close?”
I keep staring at him and then I see the moment that something clicks in his mind.
“You have a thing for her?”
My expression is of exhaustion.
“You have a thing for her!”
I return to the seat with the mind to deny this, but not a single protest comes to mind, so I just plaster a frown on my face and focus my gaze on his baby.
“Oh God! When did this happen?” His eyes are bright with excitement and wonder. “Wait? You both saw your father yesterday. What was she doing with you on a Sunday? And why were both of you with your father? Even I've never met your father. Hell, I didn’t even know you had one and I've known you for almost a decade.”
I don’t think I have to respond to any of this as he is going to pretty much figure it all out. So I lean into the tan leather sofa with a sigh.
“Grady!”
“Fine,” I groan. “We’re not dating but…”
“You’re just sleeping together?” His tone is disappointed.
“This started before she ever came to the office. We met at a bar the weekend before, and hooked up. And then the next Monday you bring her in as my secretary? I was fucking shocked.”
Allen’s mouth falls open. “What?” He then looks away to think and then his eyes widen with amazement. “So that was why… was that why you immediately rejected her? And then she…” He rises to his feet. “She was shocked too, but I thought- how did she manage to convince you then? She came in alone to talk to you right? What did you say? Why did you hire her?”
I cannot help but smile at the reminder. “She threatened to sue me.”
“What? Blair?”
“Yup,” I reply. “Your ball of sunshine is actually a lethal piranha.”
“What the fuck did she want to sue you for?”
“Wrongful termination of employment.”
“What employment? She hadn’t officially gotten the job then.”
“You’d verbally promised it to her after the interview. You made the offer and she accepted it.”
“That couldn’t have been proven.”
“It didn’t matter, I wanted her
around anyway. Her wit was more than an excuse.”
His smile is broad and full of glee. “I can’t believe it. It worked out perfectly. I didn’t even need to be involved. And here I thought my efforts had crashed and burned.”
“Well, they might have. My father’s twist has landed the biggest blow. For all I know, she might have even left town.”
“She wouldn’t do that,” Allen says.
A part of me believes him. But then another part fully expects her to, unsure that our connection is strong enough to survive the recent revelations. “Well, I hope so.”
Silence punctuates our thoughts.
Then he asks, “Should I call her, or should you?”
“I’ll call her,” I respond. “But not now. Later in the evening.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
Blair
On the first ring, my heart nearly jumps out of my chest.
My phone is all the way on my bed, while I’m in the closet packing up the clothes I’ve accumulated over my short time here in Denver. It was originally meant to be just a weekend trip to see Layne but yet things escalated into so much more. So much more that I’m still unable to properly process very much.
I don’t bother going over to the phone to check who is calling, because I fear who it is and at the same time, I’m afraid of who it is not. It disconnects and I continue with folding my clothes into my luggage.
The memories of my father come to mind- the one person that was always on my side. And it stings my eyes with tears. I have pictures of him I have always carried with me. The first half of the day was spent going through them and reliving the excruciating grief I had gone through as an eleven year old, mourning her father.
And to now find out according to Grady’s father’s confession, that it could have been avoided, I truly don’t know the right reaction to have. All I know is that there is a heavy weight in my heart. All the held back tears from over the years, from the minutes and hours of missing him, have finally been given the permission to flow today.
The phone rings again.
I ignore it, a frown permanently etched to my face as I fold my clothes.
On the third ring, Layne comes into the room. She is surprised to see me on the floor, surrounded by my clothes and my phone being purposely ignored. “I thought you were in the bathroom or something. Why aren’t you picking up?”
Without waiting for a response, she goes over to the bed to lift the phone. “Grady Abbott,” she reads. “Isn’t this your boss?”
My stomach does a little flip at the mere mention of his name, but I don’t respond.
She comes over and realizes what I’m doing. She gazes at the pile on the floor, and the half-filled luggage. Her voice is smaller when she speaks again, “What’s going on?”
“I think I’m going to take a little break. Go back to Houston for a while to see if I can put my feet on the ground over there.”
“That doesn’t sound like a little break to me. What happened?”
I don’t respond.
“Why are you leaving Denver? Did something happen at work? With your boss?”
I pause my folding then, and gaze up at her. I haven’t yet told her about Gary’s revelation to our father’s history in the military, and I wonder if it’s necessary to tell her, but without that, I will not be able to explain why I’m seriously considering leaving. So I turn around to face her and fold my legs underneath me. “Where’s Matthew?” I ask.
“He went out to grab some snacks from the store.”
“Okay. Sit down or something.”
She heads over to my bed and sits on the edge, her face filled with concern. “What happened?”
I then narrate to her all that Grady’s father said and just as I expect, she’s speechless.
Then her eyes fill with tears and she turns her face away.
I allow her the time that she needs until she’s ready to speak to me.
“Wow, I can’t believe it. He’s your boss’s father. Is this why you want to leave?”
“It’s part of it,” I respond.
“Why? What’s the relation?”
I’m a bit taken aback by her comment. “He caused dad’s death.”
“You don’t know that. And dad was a Navy Seal. His missions were dangerous and he could have been killed anytime.”
“He also could have lived,” I argue, upset at her words.
She realizes this and goes quiet. “Okay,” she says. “Maybe it was your boss’s father’s fault, but what does that change now?”
I turn to her. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But is it decent that I continue to work for the son of the man whose actions killed my father?”
“You’re not just working for him. You’re also building a path for yourself and you’ve told me that his company is a golden opportunity to do that. Dad wouldn’t be happy if you gave that up.”
I’m perplexed. “How is this so simple to you?”
“Why isn’t it to you?” She shoots back… then she stops. Her eyes bore into mine and she straightens. “Ah, I get it. You have feelings for your boss. Are you two involved now?”
I turn away from her, feeling exposed, but truthfully, I can’t even trace the true source of my anger. All I know is that I’m furious at Grady, at his father, at myself, at Layne and at life in general and how fucking sucky and unfair it is.
“Blair,” she calls. “Talk to me. What’s the problem?”
I erupt in a scream at her, tears bursting from my eyes. “His father fucking killed Dad! How the hell am I supposed to have anything to do with him?”
She watches me ever so calmly. “His father,” she says. “His father made the mistake, not him. Or wait? Is all of this connected? Him meeting and hiring you? Has he known about it from the very beginning?”
My eyes widen slightly in amazement. That hadn't even crossed my mind. “No, I don’t think so. I met him at the bar, remember, and... he wasn’t the one that invited me for the interview.”
“Sure, but doesn’t your burrito boss get his instructions from him? Maybe your boss told him to hire you.”
I ponder more on the speculation. “That can’t be. I got the call before we went out that weekend. Before I met him at the bar.”
“What does that have to do with anything? Maybe he didn't even know your face but was just aware of the story. “
“I don’t think that’s it, Layne. He seemed just as shocked as I was when I came into the office for the first time.”
“Alright,” she says, “then let’s move on. If you’re involved with him and you think based on this revelation, you can’t continue to do that then why don’t you put an end to it and just continue on with your job?”
“Is it really that easy? He owns the company.”
“Okay,” she says. “Then look for another job. Or don’t you like living in Denver?”
I hear the unhappiness in her tone and finally understand what she is dreading. I release a heavy sigh. “Layne, I don’t mind living here, and I don’t mind living in Houston either but I was beginning to love it here because of you. The problem is that I just don’t know if I’ll be able to move on and heal from this if I’m here. I will definitely come back. I’m not going to miss being around my niece for anything in the world which is why I’m thinking that maybe this is the best way. Leaving for a little while to get my perspective and emotions in order, and then returning to start anew.”
She nods. “I understand what you mean.”
“It might be a week or two or more, but I don’t want to wallow and I feel as though if I remained here, then that is all that I’ll do.”
“You’re right but... what about him? Will he care that you left?”
I feel an ache in my heart but force myself to ignore it. “He probably won’t. It’s not as if we were in a relationship or something.” I continue with my packing.
Layne rises from the bed. She comes over to me and wraps her arms around me for a hug which I reluctantly lea
n into.
I hold on tightly to her locked hands and almost wish that she would never let go. The tears once again fall from my eyes and wet her arms. “It still feels like it just happened,” I managed to croak out. “Like we just lost him.”
“I know,” she says. “I feel it too. When you love someone and lose them, you’ll most likely cry forever. But don’t let it overwhelm you Blair and definitely do not let it completely affect the present.”
I pull away and wipe the tears off my face. “I know,” I respond. “I know. I’ll be fine.”
With a kiss to my forehead, she turns and exits the room.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Grady
I have arrived, Sir. I’ll wait till you’re done with your meeting.
I’m in the conference room when her text arrives on my phone and from that moment onwards, my attention is completely removed from the room full of executives. I consider just leaving the meeting in order to settle things with her, to receive the answers I need, so I can move on with the rest of my life.
But despite my agitation, I can’t get myself to rise from the chair. My heart is apprehensive as I suspect that not the very best news awaits me. For one, she didn’t resume her normal time and instead, informed me she would be coming in later on to speak to me. If that is not the sign of trouble then I don’t know what is.
After the meeting, I take my time speaking with the executives and only when I’m finally done, do I quietly head back up to my floor.
I recall the days of walking together with her, discussing projects and schedules as I realize just how accustomed to them I became. Now, the previously quiet commutes and ambience that once used to comfort me, no longer seems as desirable.
I get into the office and just as I expect, she’s seated at her desk and waiting. She rises to her feet in greeting and I respond with a nod before heading to my office. I’m certain now that she is specifically here to torment me because somehow, she seems to have become more beautiful in the last two days. Her hair isn’t falling down her back as usual but is secured in a tight ponytail to the back of her head. Then her dress, patterned with little grey and white flowers is molded to her curves, stopping just below her knee and revealing the smooth, glistening skin of her legs. Her makeup is minimal, her lips peach and plump, and her gaze piercing.