by Iona Rose
She’s no longer looking at me with the timidness of an employee.
I can’t help but sigh. After settling down behind my desk, I lock my hands together and face her fully.
She walks forward and places a letter on the table.
I don’t need to look at it to see what it is.
Then she begins her speech, “Sir, I truly appreciate the opportunities that I have been awarded here, especially the privilege of working as your personal assistant, but I think it’s time for me to move on.”
I don’t miss the slight tremble in her tone.
She goes on, “I will properly assign my project before I leave so the clients will be thoroughly taken care of.”
“Sir?” I say. “You’re handing in your resignation and you’re calling me sir? As if there’s nothing more between us? Or do you plan to break the news in private to me later on and then call me by my name?”
She doesn’t respond and the silence between us stretches endlessly. She does however hold my gaze and I can see the redness and slight dampness in her eyes.
“I truly apologize for this. I didn’t know that things would turn out this way but they have and I need the time away to sort it out.”
“Then take a leave,” I snap. “Why are you quitting? Is it because you got the job so easily, so it can just as easily be of no value to you?”
Her eyes widen in alarm at the statement. “Nothing has changed for you since Sunday has it? The fact that your father was responsible for my father’s death… it doesn't mean much to you, does it?”
I don’t have a response.
“Well, Grady, it means a lot to me and because of that I don’t want anything to do with you or your father. Because your presence in my life will always remind me that it came at the cost of my father’s life. You can have your own opinion about this stance and I don’t care. I am entitled to be hurt and furious and to deal with this in the way that I want to.” With that, she turns around, and walks away.
I watch her, but then at the last moment I jump to my feet. “What about us?” I ask.
She halts, and inclines her head to the side to glance at me. “What ‘us’? You made it clear from the very beginning that there can’t be an us. You said you don’t do relationships. Remember? Or do you think that after this, I’m still going to subject myself to not even being worthy enough in your eyes to be committed to?” With a glare, she continues on her way and slams the door behind her.
I remain standing in that spot for a long time, refusing to take a seat until I make some sort of plan... until the turmoil currently wreaking havoc in my chest is sorted out.
When I eventually decide, I grab my phone and hurry out of the office.
I dismiss Andrew and get behind the wheel myself.
About an hour later, I arrive at my father’s trailer home and meet him weeding out the overgrown shrubs in his tiny yard out front. This is a first, by this time he’s usually sitting in front of his television with some liquor in hand.
I stand behind him for a while and neither of us speaks.
“I owe you an apology,” he suddenly begins. “I didn't have the courage to admit it but I realize now that I didn’t really want you to join the military because I believed it was the most noble of pursuits. It was because the guilt that I thought I could carry was killing me, and I was looking for a way out. To somehow ease my conscience and the only way I could think of was offering you to the military with the buried and twisted hope that perhaps something would happen to you. And you would die a hero. Then as a result, those fathers, sons and brothers that I snatched from their families would somehow be appeased, because I had offered up my own son to serve and lost him too. Instead, you went your own way and I lost my bargaining chip. And I resented you for it.” His laugh is bitter.
I’m seething, with anger and frustration and a deep seated sadness for the father that I had lost a long time ago and for the woman that I’m about to lose.
“I am one hell of a man aren’t I? I sacrifice the life of my unit for my ego and then I am just as eager to sacrifice the life of my own son to ease my conscience. I should have taken my life a long time ago.”
“Yeah,” I reply. “You should have.”
He goes still, the hand holding a hoe stopping in midair.
“I just turned twenty when you were discharged and more than at any other time in life, I needed you then. To guide me and direct me and to support me. But instead, you did all you could to push me down a path that I had no business going down and when I didn’t conform to that, you made me feel like shit and more or less disowned me. You left me alone, to find my way on my own and I did just that. But even afterwards, you still couldn't celebrate me, when the world did. After all the shit I went through to make something of myself, strangers patted me on my shoulder, instead of my own father. I have wished a million times that I could completely look away from your existence but I’m not as cold blooded as you are, so when you’ve needed help I have always made myself available.”
He went utterly silent.
“But today, I want to make something clear to you; I don’t want your apology and I don’t suddenly want any sort of concern from you. What I want right now is for you to fix the damage that you have done. The woman you spilled your guts to, she matters to me. I don’t know how much yet but I suspect that it’s going to be a whole lot, so the last thing I want to do is lose her. I don’t care if you have to get on your knees to beg her. I don’t care if you even offer your head to appease her, but you’re going to get her back. She now wants nothing to do with me and I won’t allow you to once again take away someone that means the world to me. If you don’t somehow fix this, then I just might kill you with my own hands and I swear it. And don’t think either that I need to be a Navy Seal to know how to do that effortlessly. I’m giving you today. After today, your conscience isn't what you should be afraid of anymore. In fact, maybe you should even be relieved because it will be gone, along with you.”
With that, I turn around and storm back to my car.
Chapter Fifty-Four
Blair
“I’m going to miss you, Blair.”
I smile at the saddened tone as I park my luggage by the front door. “I’ll be back.” I turn to her. “At least, by your seventh month. There’s no way I’m letting you go through those last two months alone, especially when Matthew might not be here.”
“Alright,” she says. “Do you have everything?”
“Yeah, except my purse, flats and belt. They’re on my bed. I’ll go get them.” With that, I hurry away just as the doorbell rings.
I grab the remaining things I have in the room and head back out into the living room. My soul nearly leaves my body however when I see who’s standing at the door.
Grady’s father removes his hat from his head.
For a second, I have to confirm if he’s even the same person. The last time I met him, he had been beyond disheveled and dirty, his clothes in tatters, his white beard overgrown and unkempt, but right now the man before me looks like a completely different person. His head is completely shaved, his beard neatly trimmed, and he has on a clean pair of jeans and a black dress shirt.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
Layne looks at me with the questions in her eyes.
“You can,” I reply. “Layne, this is my ex-boss’s father.”
“Oh,” she replies. “Hello. Good morning.”
“Good morning,” he replies. “This is your sister?”
“Yes, she is,” I respond
His smile is sad. “Your father used to talk about you both all the time. She is the one that used to call you blah, I suppose?”
Tears sting my eyes. How the hell did he know that?
Even Layne looks startled to her core. She leads him to the living room.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask. “Tea? Water? Juice?”
“Just water will be fine,” he replies.
As I
fetch it for him, my mind goes into overdrive wondering why in the hell he could possibly be here. Perhaps to offer some sort of condolence? Perhaps on behalf of Grady?
With a shuddering exhale, I take the glass over and offer it to him. Then I stand by Layne who is seated in the armchair as we both watch him take a sip.
He looks at the both of us and gives a heartfelt smile. “I’m sure that I’m not exactly welcome here,” he says “But I couldn't stop myself from coming. For one, Grady threatened my life if I didn't come over to fix the damage I have caused between the both of you.”
My heart drops into my stomach.
“He’s in love with you, you know,” he says. “I don’t know if you realize it and I don’t know if he does either, but there is a connection between you both that I have never seen him have with anyone.”
I shift my weight from one leg to the other, as I feel Layne’s gaze settle on me.
“Anyway,” he continues. “I want to formally apologize to the both of you. Everyone I have told my story to has tried to console me, that the accident was not my fault and that any of the other soldiers could have slipped or gotten into some sort of trouble but I have never agreed to accept that way out. And I don’t think I ever will. It is my cross to bear and I will continue to carry it. But I will be damned if I let this also affect Grady. I’ve hurt him and neglected him over the years and the last thing that I want is for me to do it all over again with this revelation. When the accident happened, I went to all of the soldier’s families to deliver the news of their loved ones demise. I saw them break down in tears and be torn apart by the pain, and I soaked it all in. I remember visiting your home and I met your mother. I didn’t meet either of you then but I knew of you as your father carried your pictures in his wallet. I handed them over to her then. I also have one of the both of us during one of our happier times at our base. I thought that maybe you’d like to have it. It was one of his absolutely enthralling moments of just pure joy. He was laughing as we drank together and I’ve kept it to myself all these years to remember him by. But I think it’s time to hand it over.” He reaches into his pocket and retrieves the small envelope then passes it over.
I accept it. I open the envelope and indeed, see a somewhat wrinkled picture of my father, along with a few of his military buddies. There are guns all around them, and in his hand is a bottle of beer lifted to his lips. There is also the very familiar and contagious smile across his face.
Quietly, both Layne and I study the picture with a sad smile, then we put it away, so we can pay attention to him.
“I only a-apologized to your mother back then,” he says, “But today, I want to apologize to the both of you. I’m incredibly sorry from the bottom of my heart for what my ego cost your family. I do not expect you to forgive me but I do hope that you will gain some sort of solace from the fact that I am tormented by it every single second of my life. Blair,” he calls to me.
I drag my gaze to him.
“Please don’t abandon Grady because of me. I am the one who committed these wrongs, but he is completely innocent. I deserve your hate and rejection but he doesn't, so I hope that you will be able to look past the misfortune of him having me for a father.”
I look away from him.
He rises to his feet. After a deep bow to the both of us, he replaces his hat on his head and exits our home.
After he closes the door behind him, Layne and I are quiet for a very long time.
And then she turns to me. “Are you still going to leave?”
I turn my gaze towards my packed luggage at the entrance to the house and release a heavy sigh.
“It all depends on Grady, I guess.”
Chapter Fifty-Five
Grady
“I heard you might be in love with me.”
I have a cigarette between my lips and at her words, it is quite easy to forget this fact. So it isn’t until I’m almost choking to death at the smoke, do I remember to take it out of my mouth.
“Grady,” she calls through the receiver. “Are you okay?”
I throw the butt across the counter and take deep breaths. “I’m fine,” I reply. “I’m fine.”
“I’m at your front desk,” she says. “Can you tell them to let me in?”
My heart slams into my chest. “You’re here? Right now?”
“Yeah, I-is that okay?”
Is she joking? “Of course. Sure. I’ll tell them to let you in right now.” I immediately place the call to the front desk, and hurry to my front door to wait for her. I pace in front of it a bit and then decide to just go to the elevator. A few minutes later, it dings its arrival and the double doors slide open.
“Hey,” she says
“Hey,” I respond.
She then looks to the elevator’s control board. “I asked for a key.”
My brows furrow at her. A day ago, she was telling me that she would be quitting her job and now, she’s back here asking for a key?
She notices my surprised gaze and slips her hands into her pocket. “Your dad came over to see me and my sister today. He apologized... for everything and told me not to leave.”
I’m taken aback at her words. “You were going to leave town?”
She nods.
My blood begins to simmer in anger. With a glare at her, I turn around and head back towards the apartment. I make sure to leave the door wide open so she isn’t locked out, and head over to the kitchen.
It smells like cigarettes and she immediately notice’s this the moment she comes in. “Have you been smoking?”
I retrieve a bottle of water from the refrigerator without responding, and just watch her as I down the water.
She however comes over without a care and sits on one of the island stools. “What are you angry about?” she asks. “That I was going to leave? I came to your office yesterday to quit.”
“But you didn’t mention anything about leaving,” I retort. “You were just going to disappear without a word?”
“Grady,” she says. “The kind of relationship we have is the kind where I don’t have to tell you the things I’m doing. No strings attached remember?”
Fuck, she’s right.
“Anyway, I’m here to tell you that I’ll still be leaving for a little while. Just to clear my head, away from here. But I’ll be back. So I don’t want you to think that I’m just completely disappearing as originally planned. But when I come back and if you’re still interested in me then I’d love to give us a chance. A real chance at truly being together and not just sleeping together. This is my offer, so think about it. You can let me know your response at any time.” With this, she sends a soft smile and gets up from the stool. She begins to come around the counter and when she reaches me, she places a hand on my arm and it seems to burn through the shirt that I have on.
“I used to be so intimidated by that look on your face,” she says. With a lift to the tip of her toes, she presses a kiss to the side of my face. “Bye Grady, and don’t be so harsh on your father. He already has a lot of demons to deal with.” With that, she turns around.
Before I can stop myself, my hand reaches out to grab her. “Don’t go,” I say, my voice quieter than I’ve ever heard.
“Why she asks,” and turns around.
My gaze is looking so directly into her eyes in this moment.
“Why? Because I’m fucking in love with you Blair”
“Oh Grady, you have no idea how long I’ve wished to hear those words. I really thought that I didn’t mean enough for you to commit to me” she responds.
“I’m truly sorry Blair if I hurt you and I guess I’ve known it for some time but with the mess with my father and me being such a stubborn A-hole I couldn’t admit to myself the truth.’’
‘’ My bags were packed and I really thought that you would let me go Grady but I am so glad you haven’t because I truly love you.’’ I pull her into the tightest embrace and we just hold each other in complete silence. When we finally let go
I see the tears of joy in her face and use my thumb to brush them away.
“I don’t smoke,” I tell her. “At least I haven't in a while. I needed it today to calm myself because... I have this assistant that drives me crazy.”
She looks at me. “She sounds like a tool.”
“She is, but I also don’t know how the fuck I could ever function without her now and that is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard myself say. I think she did something to me.”
She laughs softly. “I think she did.”
“Grady,” she breathes my name as I wrap my arms underneath her ass and lift her feet clear off the floor. In no time, her legs are wrapped around my waist, her arms around my shoulders and her lips are entangled with mine. I take her straight to my bedroom, and the moment she sinks into the soft mattress I begin to trace kisses across every inch of her skin.
I’m trembling with excitement at the impending bliss of once again being joined with her.
My lips suck hard on her beautiful breasts. It sends her hands digging into the mattress as she writhes beneath me. “Grady,” she gasps when my lips begin to trace down her stomach and in no time, is at the center of her desire. My tongue, fingers and lips devour her mercilessly and by the time the orgasm hits her, she nearly pulls my hair off my scalp.
My thrust into her is just as vicious and urgent as the other times but this time around, my motion is not the usual, and almost a frantic rhythm solely directed at the chase of a release. No, this time, I go slow, driving my cock with precision in and out of her, and it sends her eyes rolling into the back of her head. I find the spot inside of her that drives her wild and inclining my hips, send my cock grating through her slick sensitive walls, hitting that spot over and over again.