The CEO & I

by River Laurent

  “I have a life and it’s not here,” I say, staring miserably at my ice cream.

  “Have I ever asked you to move up here?”

  “No, but…oh, I wish I could explain the situation I’m in, but I can’t.”

  “I accept that long distance relationships are hard, but we’ll work it out.”

  I set my ice cream in the cup holder of the car and scoot over to him. He wraps both of his arms around me and rubs my back. “There is no future for us, Lars,” I whisper.

  He tightens his hold on my body. “I can’t accept that. How old are you?”

  I rack my brains. Has anybody mentioned Tamara’s age to me? “You’re not supposed to ask a woman her age,” I say.

  “Do you realize how rare what we have is? You’re young so you think you can find what we have under every rock you pick up, but I can tell you now, what we have is precious. I’m twenty-nine and I’ve never found what we have with anyone else. My brother is older than me and he doesn’t have it either.”

  “I’m sorry, but I’ve made up my mind.”

  He takes a deep breath of frustration. It makes his chest rise against my cheek. “There has to be a reason for your decision. Are you afraid of what your dad will say? Because I can talk to him if you are.”

  “No, Lars. I’m not afraid of that.”

  “Is it something to do with the loan sharks?”

  “No.”

  “Then it just doesn’t make sense. Did I do something wrong? Tell me, because I can change for you.”

  I feel the tears start streaming from my eyes. “No, I never want you to change anything. You’re perfect. Nothing about you needs to change. It’s not you, it’s me. I wish I could explain, but I literally can’t. This is so hard.”

  “Well, I’m not fucking giving up. I’m going to get to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing I do,” he growls stubbornly.

  I don’t know what to do anymore. The man I want more than I want anything else in the world is asking me to stay and I can’t. I never knew life could be so cruel. I start sobbing into his chest and he just holds me.

  Our ice cream melts and eventually, he starts the truck and pulls away. I don’t bother looking up or moving away from him. I can’t move away from him. I never want to. If only I didn’t have to.

  My tears stop. He takes one hand off the wheel and plays with my hair. All I want is for him to understand, but he can’t because I can’t tell him the truth. Money may not be as important as happiness, but I need this money to help pay for my father’s medical bills. That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I can’t quit now.

  We arrive at the ranch, but my hands refuse to let him go. Instead of pulling away from me, he sweeps me into his arms. Leaving our ice cream cups in the truck, he carries me gently into the house and into my bedroom. Carefully, he lays me on my bed and pulls the covers over my body. He doesn’t understand that what I need is him.

  “Please stay,” I whisper as he turns to leave.

  “Is that what you want?”

  I don’t tell him that I need him to love me the way I love him, because tomorrow, he won’t be mine anymore. Tomorrow, Tamara will probably get him drunk and bounce on him. Even that passing thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. I just want to live out tonight like I’ll never leave. “I want us to play out this night as if I’m not leaving. I want you inside me and all over my body.”

  “I can do that,” he whispers, climbing under the covers with me. “Because you’re not leaving. Not ever.”

  How I wish that were true.

  We don’t have the hot passion that we had before. What we have this time is so much more intimate and profound. We work slowly and diligently at taking off our clothing and lay together for the longest time, skin touching skin.

  I stare into his silver eyes as he enters my body, and cry for the person that I may have become if I could have stayed with him. He is the man I can see myself making a family with and growing old with. I can see us surrounded by a whole bunch of curtain biters. My future could have been so bright here, but I have to leave it all.

  Sometimes, life throws you slices of happiness, but it quickly balances the bliss with sadness. That has been the story of my life. Lars is that shining slice. Now it is time for balance again.

  Finally, after what feels like hours of being caught in my own head, Lars gives me exactly what I asked from him. A climax so deep and long I feel as if I have broken into a million pieces. Like star dust, I float away, weightless and uncaring about what tomorrow brings.

  Chapter 46

  Cass

  I feel as if I am walking around in a daze. There is so much activity around me, and everyone seems to be so excited about the masked ball happening tonight. Apparently, it happens only once a year and is attended by the governor. Even Emma Jean has gone to town to get her hair done. Tamara’s father is supposed to arrive at the ranch to watch me ride just before the ball starts.

  This morning, I must somehow engineer my fall from a horse and feign injury; if I don’t actually sustain a real injury. I decide I’d rather fall from Misty than Thunder. Not only is he more unpredictable, but I will also be a lot higher off the ground. My plan is to take Misty out in the morning and fake a fall when no one is watching.

  Unfortunately, the opportunity for me to go out on my own with Misty doesn’t arise, since Lars insists on warming up Thunder before I ride him in front of Tamara’s father. Of course, he has no idea that I have absolutely no intention of riding for Tamara’s father, or even being anywhere near the man.

  I glance sideways at Lars and can’t decide how he’ll react when I pretend to hurt myself.

  I lead Thunder into the horse pasture and Lars leads Bessie. It’s been a while since she’s been mounted due to her pregnancy, but Lars thinks it’s time to ride her again.

  “So, are we just going to trot them?” I ask. “Or are we sprinting?” My performance will be more believable if we’re sprinting, but it will be much easier to fall at a slower pace.

  “We shouldn’t sprint with Bessie just yet. She’s still healing from giving birth,” he says.

  We each mount our horses and begin trotting through the field. There aren’t many options of places to fall off inside the horse pasture, but I’m afraid Thunder will spook and run if I fall, so I would rather it be in an enclosed area.

  “How is the new baby doing?” I ask, referring to a foal that was born in the early hours of the morning. Neither Lars nor I were present. Only Chance and one of the other men were there to guard and help if necessary.

  “She’s funny. She likes new people.” Lars laughs and I memorize the sound. I love hearing him laugh. “Just like her mama.”

  “Will I get to meet her?” I ask with a smile.

  Lars doesn’t respond for a moment. “You can see her if you stay a couple more days,” he says. The tone of voice is heartbreaking, and I know I have to jump now. There aren’t any bushes near me, and I don’t know how safe the fall will be, but if I don’t finish this job, I’m afraid I won’t ever leave Lars’ side.

  I slide from the saddle and push myself to the side while reaching upward, as if I’m trying to get hold of the reins. A small screech escapes my lips as I fall backward. Then everything happens in slow motion. My senses become extra sharp. A clear thought flashes into my mind. You idiot. You don’t even have insurance. I see the ground approaching fast and remember to turn myself midair so the brunt of the force will not be on my head.

  “Damn, Tamara,” I hear Lars curse as I land on the hard ground.

  I feel my ankle pop and an intense pain shoot through my leg. My brain goes into disbelief mode. Oh god, did I just break my leg?

  Thunder bolts across the field. It takes less than five seconds for Lars to be at my side. I lie on my back and grind my teeth together, not needing to fake the pain radiating from my ankle.

  “Where does it hurt?” Lars shouts urgently, crouching next to me, his face pale under his tan.
/>   “I think I broke my ankle,” I groan.

  “Don’t move,” he says, grasping my foot with both his hands.

  “Oh no,” I cry, looking worriedly at my booted leg. “What are you doing?”

  “Getting this boot off.”

  Tears swim in my eyes as he takes the boot off and tosses it away.

  “Shhh…I’ll take care of you. It’s okay,” he says as his cool fingers gently and quickly move over my skin. He looks up at me, relief etched in his face. “It’s not an obvious break.” He takes a deep breath. “God, Tamara, you need to be more careful. You nearly gave me a heart attack,” he says.

  “Gave you a heart attack? I’m the one who’s hurt.”

  “You can’t imagine how fast my heart is beating. Fuck, when I saw you go down… Thank God, it’s only a sprain or a fracture.”

  “It hurts like hell.”

  “Sometimes a sprain can hurt more than a fracture.”

  “Whatever it is, I won’t be able to ride for my father.”

  “Of course not. You can ride for him another time.”

  “No, I don’t think I ever want to get back on another horse,” I say quickly.

  He looks at me strangely. “We’ll see how you feel later. Can you stand?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He stands up and helps to pull me up. To my surprise, it doesn’t hurt as much I thought it would. Maybe I got lucky. “I think I can still walk on it,” I admit.

  “It’s good that you can stand on it, but let’s get some ice on it straight away.” He sweeps me into his arms and carries me back to the house. Lars wants to call a doctor, but I refuse. I know by how little pain I am feeling that I haven’t done any real harm and it’s more fear than anything else that made me panic before.

  I lie on the couch with an icepack on my ankle for the next hour. It is badly bruised, but that is only because I bruise easily. The swelling itself is minimal. After a while, I realize that I can walk quite well on it. I still want to attend the ball and have a dance with Lars. He comes in with some bandages and wraps my ankle. He also brings a pair of crutches.

  “Do you want to give the ball a miss? We don’t have to go.”

  I shake my head. “No, I want to go.”

  “All right. I have to go meet the governor so I’ve asked Chance to bring you. I’ll see you there, okay?”

  “What if you don’t recognize me?”

  “Baby, there’s not a mask in the world that can hide you from me.”

  “I’ll see you at the ball tonight.”

  His eyes pierce into mine and my tears begin stirring. I broke my ankle—or greatly injured it—and I didn’t cry. But as I watch him suffer with the same turmoil I have been for weeks, I want nothing more than to curl into a ball.

  Chapter 47

  Cass

  I take two Vicodin and hobble into the bathroom. I may still be in shock to think that I have done the dreaded fall and that it is all coming to an end tonight. I take a shower and am cautious not to get my bandage wet. When I get out, I find Selene, Tamara’s hairdresser, standing on the patio.

  “Hey,” Selene says. “Ms. Moore sent me to make sure you have exactly the same hairstyle as Her Highness.”

  “Okay, where do you want me?” She points to a chair and I go sit on it.

  For the next forty minutes, she works on piling my hair into a complicated updo. When she is finished, she picks up her bag and walks toward the sliding doors. “Right, I’m off. You look amazing, by the way.”

  “Thanks.”

  I stand up and walk to the mirror and take in the sleek beauty of her work. Cautiously, without ruining my hair, I get into my dress. The dress is comfortable and feels like silk on my skin. I slip into the heels and feel a twinge of pain, but when I walk, it doesn’t feel too bad.

  I paint my eyes dramatically as I know Tamara would and apply a layer of Cherry Lush lipstick. The last piece of the outfit is the mask. I cross the bathroom and grab the mask before bringing it to the mirror. It’s a stunning black half-face mask with sharp edges and teal and blue designs that make it both pop and match my dress.

  I slip the plastic over my face and look in the mirror with wide eyes. Tonight will be the last time I’ll ever see Lars.

  Chapter 48

  Lars

  I usually avoid public gatherings like the plague, but Tamara has changed everything. I can’t wait to see her, dance with her, and then take her home and make love to her all night.

  Realizing that she is on the verge of leaving, I finally admit to myself that I love the woman. When she fell off her horse and got hurt, I felt as if a part of me had shriveled up and died. At that moment, I knew I’d give my own life to save hers. I have never loved anyone the way I love Tamara, and I won’t lose those feelings. I plan on being with her forever. I don’t understand what’s going on with her, but I know she’s hiding something. I can see how cut up she is about leaving, but she insists on going. I know she loves it here, so I can’t understand why she wants to run away tomorrow. I must find a way to convince her to stay.

  I will tell her everything about myself tonight. There are so many things she needs to know, and once she does, I won’t let her go.

  I will do whatever I have to do in the few hours I have left to get to the bottom of this mystery and convince her to stay.

  I stand on the balcony and scan the crowd for Tamara. The entrance is above the ball itself, so I am able to look over everybody inside. From above, they all look unidentifiable in their strange costumes and masks, but it only takes me a second to find her. Her head of bleached blonde hair stands out beyond everyone else’s as she arrives on Chance’s arm. I see that everybody has turned to watch her. She is, without doubt, the most beautiful woman in this hall. My heart swells with pride even as I curse every man who lays eyes on her and thinks a dirty thought.

  I walk down the steps and as I near Tamara, I notice her wince in pain and my heart drops. She’s gotten so many injuries since being here and I couldn’t stop any of them.

  “Tamara,” I call out.

  She turns around and I stare at the bright blue dress that hugs her body in every area. It’s a body I’ve seen up close, sucked, licked, bitten, and entered many, many times, but I can’t help but gawk at how beautiful she is.

  “It’s you,” she whispers coming in my direction and smiling with the same, shy smile that got me up all knotted up around her little finger.

  “Of course, who else would it be?” I ask, handing her a glass of champagne.

  She smiles.

  “How’s your ankle.”

  She shakes her head. “Vicodin took care of it. It doesn’t really hurt at all.”

  I raise my glass. “A toast.”

  She raises her glass.

  “To the most beautiful woman here.”

  “I’m not,” she says.

  “Every man in this places wishes he was me,” I tell her truthfully.

  “You’re not so bad looking yourself,” she says, taking a delicate sip.

  Taking a step closer, I bow and open a hand to her. “Will you do me the honor of dancing with me? It gives me an excuse to feel you up in a public place,” I tell her with a wolfish grin.

  “I’m not very good at ballroom dancing,” she says, taking a small step back.

  I take the glass from her hand and leave it by the ledge. “All you have to do is follow my lead, baby.”

  She puts her hand in mine and I pull her toward me. Wrapping my arm tightly around her to help take some weight off her ankle, I lead her toward the middle of the dance floor.

  She looks up at me. “I feel as if I’m a princess in a fairytale,” she whispers, and her breath is like a magic mist.

  “Well, for what it’s worth, you make me feel like a prince with a kingdom,” I say as I twirl her about the room, lost to everything but her lovely face looking up at me. I let my fingers trail down her naked back and feel her take a sharp breath. Circling her waist, I take her
through a series of spins that leaves her breathless and wide-eyed.

  “We need to talk,” I say into her ear. I feel her shiver beneath me and bury my nose in the top of her head. I can’t let her go. I will never let her go.

  “How about we talk after the dance?” she compromises. I notice her eyes start swimming with tears again. She blinks them back furiously.

  What the hell is going on? “After the dance,” I agree. I’d agree to almost anything for her.

  She presses herself against me and allows herself to move in every direction that I move. I could stand this close to her all day and be perfectly content, but my contentment will only last until she moves. She continues looking into the skylight and at the slowly darkening sky, but I don’t know why.

  As the ending melody of the song plays, I look down at her. Her phone rings. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she says with a sad smile. “We can talk after that, all right?”

  I nod and give her a small peck on the cheek. I reach to the floor and grab her crutches for her. “And you’re going to tell me the verdict on your foot,” I say.

  “It’s sprained,” Tamara whispers. “Okay, I’ll be back. I’ll miss you, Lars,” she says before turning and walking away.

  I stand in place and make small conversation with the people around me for a while. I check the clock periodically, wondering where she could have gone. She’s got a bad ankle, but she shouldn’t be taking this long.

  I begin walking around and scanning the crowd. My nerves grow tense the longer I look, so I ask people around me if they’ve seen her.

  Chapter 49

  Cass

  Lifting my long skirt, I hurry as quickly as I can to the ladies’ room. There are only two women in there, chatting and touching up their make-up. As I walk past, one of them smiles at me and compliments me on my dress. I thank her distractedly and go quickly toward the last stall.