Her Mountain Sanctuary

by Jeannie Watt

He gripped the phone more tightly. “Thank you.”

  “Not a problem.” She hung up without a goodbye, leaving Drew holding the phone and wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now, other than head over to his sister’s house and have it out with her.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He hadn’t realized that Maddie had been sitting in the front seat of the old Trans Am Pete worked on in his nonexistent spare time. She hopped out.

  “Just...some stuff with your aunt.”

  “Cara?”

  “Debra.” He wasn’t surprised that Maddie didn’t think of her first.

  “What kind of stuff?”

  “It has to do with the property lease. No biggie.”

  “She wants me to live in town.”

  Drew’s chin jerked up. “What?”

  Maddie shrugged in an uncertain gesture. “She stops at my volleyball games sometimes. She’s friends with Shayla’s mom.”

  “No kidding,” Drew said in a deliberately light voice.

  “They belong to some club or something. We don’t talk much, but she did tell Shayla’s mom that it’s a shame you want me to live so far away from my activities.”

  And now he had an idea why she was doing that. Son of a bitch.

  “I told Shayla not to worry. I’m never moving up there.”

  Drew’s eyebrows went up. “Yeah?”

  She lifted her chin in a stubborn gesture. “We haven’t worked on the room in two weeks, and I really don’t know why we’re bothering, since you don’t want me there.”

  Drew stared at his daughter as he scrambled for a foothold, tried not to panic. “It’s not that I don’t want you there. I’ve explained that.”

  “You won’t even try.”

  The accusatory note in Maddie’s voice killed him.

  “Do you want to wake up hearing me yelling at the top of my lungs?”

  “As long as you’re not yelling at me, I. Don’t. Care.”

  “You don’t know that,” he said in a low voice.

  “Neither do you.”

  “Maddie, please...”

  “If you wanted me around, you’d think of a way.”

  She slammed the car door and headed for the shop exit.

  “Let her go,” Pete said quietly. Drew had practically forgotten he was there. “She’s having some teen-itis lately.”

  “I should be the one dealing with it.”

  “Yeah? Well, that isn’t how things are working out. Is it?” Pete crossed the shop, wiping his hands on a rag that he then tossed on the counter. “What’s up with Deb?”

  “I think she’s looking at selling the cabin.”

  “You have equal interest, right?”

  Drew leaned back against the workbench. “Yeah. She can’t sell without me being onboard... I don’t think. Maybe she can sell her half to someone, though. I don’t know.”

  “You might want to see a lawyer.”

  Drew let his head drop back. “Yeah. I better.”

  “How bad are the nightmares?”

  “Bad enough that I’m thinking about the drugs again.”

  “They destroyed you.”

  “True. But I could have Maddie there if I took them. You guys wouldn’t have to deal with teen-itis.”

  “We’re doing okay,” Pete assured him. “There are moments, but all in all...” He gave a shrug.

  “I have to do something. I can’t have Maddie think I’m using the nightmares as an excuse to not be her full-time dad.”

  “Maybe she needs to experience one to see that you’re speaking the truth.”

  “Yeah?” Drew said harshly. “You might want to ask Faith about that. Scared the crap out of her.”

  Pete studied the ground. “Is that why you aren’t seeing her anymore?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “She can’t handle it?”

  “Neither can I.”

  Pete turned to look at him. “That’s not an answer.”

  “She was terrified.”

  “Still not an answer.”

  “I don’t know if she can handle it. My guess is no. She has a little PTSD herself.” He ground the words out. The last thing he thought he’d be doing was defending his relationship decisions with his late wife’s brother.

  “You don’t want to know, because then you might have to accept another loss instead of choosing to walk away—which is putting you in a very bad mood, I might add.”

  “I’m saving us both some grief.”

  Pete merely lifted an eyebrow in a way that Drew didn’t like one bit. “You are sidestepping an issue. I’m not telling you to torture the woman with your PTSD. I’m saying let her decide what she’s capable of. Maybe she won’t be able to handle it. But let her make her own decision.”

  “And ruin me in the process?”

  “Will you be any more ruined than you are now?” Drew gave him a deadly look and Pete put up his hands. “Done.”

  Drew dragged his palms over his head, bringing them to rest at the back of his neck. “I had two nightmares this week. I went from having one or two a month, to one or two a week. What does that tell you?”

  “That you have unresolved issues.”

  “No shit.”

  Actually, he’d had one nightmare and the beginning of a second. The mother cat had landed on his bed, waking him up before the second nightmare had gone into high gear. It’d taken him over an hour to go back to sleep, but he’d made it the rest of the way through the night.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, man.”

  Pete knew everything. Knew that Drew had been to therapy, knew he’d tried a lot of mental voodoo to stop the dreams. Had even tried hypnotherapy the previous summer. Nothing worked except the zombie drugs.

  Drew pushed off the workbench. “Not much to tell. I’ll deal with Deb. Finish the cabin. Maybe try another therapist...and... I don’t know...take Maddie with me?”

  “Maybe that’s the thing to do.”

  “I’d better go, see what my sweet sister is up to.” And the best way to do that was to talk to her husband. Eric was rotten at keeping secrets once he was asked a direct question. The trick was to know when to ask him one.

  Drew went to the door and pulled his Jeep keys off the rack, holding them up. “Thanks. I’ll figure out how to get the truck later.”

  “Only fifty-six more lawn mower repairs and you’ll have me paid off.”

  “I already gave Cara cash. Sorry, bud.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  DEB SHOWED UP five minutes late at the little coffee shop by the lake where Drew had arranged to meet her. When she sat down, he didn’t ask what she wanted to drink or even how she was. He asked how much.

  His sister blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

  “How much, Deb? How much do you need to get out of difficulty?” Difficulty being his sister’s favorite euphemism for the trouble she got herself into.

  “Are you talking money?”

  “Yes.”

  She folded her hands, studying him as if sensing a trap. There was none. “You have money.” She spoke flatly, disbelievingly.

  “Why is that so hard to accept?”

  “You live rent-free in a rundown shack with no electricity and fix small engines for a living.”

  “I’ll give you a lump sum.”

  “How can you afford to do that?”

  He gave a careless shrug. “I invested my part of our inheritance. I have nothing to spend my money on.” And he’d gotten a life insurance settlement after Lissa’s death, which was currently in an account for Maddie. If this worked out, Maddie would be half owner of the mountain property and still have a small nest egg for college. He had a feeling that Lissa would approve.

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know I nee
d money?”

  He had sworn to keep his brother-in-law out of it, and he was going to keep his word. “I might have a few issues, Deb, but I can still put two and two together. You live large. You want to sell the cabin—”

  “How do you know that?” she demanded. Her eyes narrowed again. “Did Faith overhear something?”

  “Maddie is no longer taking riding lessons.” He gave her a bland look, daring her to say that he and Faith spent time together for any other reason. He flattened his palm on the table. “So, Deb...how much?”

  “A hundred thousand would help us catch up.”

  He barely blinked. “I’ll write you a check.”

  Deb frowned at him. “I can get twice that much for my half of the land the cabin sits on.”

  “We could get twice that much, but we aren’t going to sell. I’m buying your half of the property for cash. You have a sure thing, versus nothing. What do you say, Deb?”

  “I say if you ever decided to sell the blasted thing, I’m out a lot of money.”

  He gave a considering nod. “If I sell, I’ll give you whatever amount will bring us even. We can write that into the contract.”

  Her mouth opened, then closed again and she abruptly looked out over the lake. “How did Granddad know you were going to live in that cabin?”

  “He didn’t. But he did know that you would bulldoze it, given the chance.”

  Deb tapped her fingers on the table, making Drew wonder how much her perfect manicure cost. “Do you know,” he said, drawing her attention back to him, “that you aren’t that important in other people’s lives?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You think people are always looking at you. Judging you by how perfect your life is, how perfect your close relatives are, but you know what? You’re never going to win with those people. Even if you manage to impress them, they hate you for it.”

  “For heaven’s sake, Drew.”

  “You burned through a lot of money, Deb, and what did you get out of it? The thrill of being better than the Joneses. And debt. A lot of debt.”

  “You’re a fine one to talk.”

  “About debt?”

  “About mental hang-ups.”

  He leaned back in his chair, put his palms flat in front of him on the table. “I know. And I’m doing something about it.”

  “Therapy at long last?” Deb asked with a tiny sneer.

  “Want to join me?” he asked.

  “Why do I need therapy?”

  He shrugged. “Feelings of inadequacy?”

  She stared at him as if not fully comprehending his meaning. “I feel great about myself.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.”

  “It shows.”

  He shook his head. “You’re my sister, Deb. I love you. I’ll help bail you out of trouble. But you can be damned unpleasant at times.”

  Her mouth flattened to the point that her lips almost disappeared.

  “Do you want the check, Deb?”

  “I’m not in a position to refuse.”

  “It’s a position you got yourself into. Frankly, you’re lucky to be able to get yourself out of it.” He smiled grimly. “Lesson for the future.”

  “Damn it, Drew.” She swallowed and looked out over the lake again. “It wouldn’t have killed you to move off the mountain.”

  “I like my privacy.”

  Which was edging close to a lie. He liked being in a place where he didn’t hurt the people he loved, but he was rapidly coming to the conclusion that something had to give. He was barely keeping the lid on the bubbling cauldron that was his life.

  * * *

  DEBRA WAS IN a foul mood after returning from lunch. She strode down the basement hallway, heels clicking on the hard tile floor. She paused at Faith’s office, glanced in as if she had a matter to discuss, then moved on to the room that housed the archives.

  Faith let out a silent sigh of relief when she passed by again and the elevator door dinged. Drew’s sister tensed her up. No two ways about it. Was Drew responsible for her mood? If so, how was he doing?

  She needed to stop wondering things like that.

  She put her head down, did her best to focus. Tonight, she’d go home and ride, then make a big salad, watch a goofy movie on TV. Ah, the life of the swinging bachelorette. Not that she was complaining. She had a decent job, was making friends in the department. Right now, they were go-to-drinks-on-Friday friends, but maybe that would evolve into more. Jolie Brody would have her babies in a few weeks and that would add some excitement to the ranch.

  What was wrong with leading a semi-boring life? It beat having her hair cut off.

  An involuntary shudder went through her.

  Faith still had trouble treating that moment casually. Some things stuck with a person, just as Drew’s traumas stuck with him. She’d sought out help—from him, no less—but he wasn’t able to do the same.

  You can’t force help upon a person until they’re ready to receive it. That was a given.

  But what do you do when you find that person leaning against your truck at the end of the work day?

  Drew pushed off her truck and started toward her as Faith looked over her shoulder at the building she’d just left, wondering if Debra was watching her and Drew. So what if she was?

  “Thank you,” he said after coming to a stop a few feet away from her.

  “Concerning Debra and the cabin?”

  “Yeah. We worked things out.”

  “Really?” She couldn’t keep the dubious note out of her voice.

  “In our own way.”

  “I’m glad I could help.”

  “I stopped by because I wanted to tell you that if there are any repercussions from her—”

  “She knows I warned you?”

  “No. But she’s no fool. If she decides you had something to do with it...if she starts dicking around with you, let me know.”

  “No,” she said. His chin jerked up, but before he could speak, she added, “I’ll fight my own battles, Drew. I don’t need you to intercede.”

  “You did me a favor. I don’t want you to get any flak over it.”

  “Now do me a favor and let me handle things on my own.” He started to speak, and once again she cut him off. “Or is that a privilege reserved just for you?”

  “Low blow, Faith.”

  “You never gave me a chance. Never asked if I could handle your issues.”

  “Your bruised arm answered that question for me.”

  “I tripped, Drew. It could have happened when I got out of bed in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.”

  “I don’t think you would have been moving that fast.”

  “I guess that would depend on my fluid intake.”

  He scowled at her, as if she was making fun of him, which was the last thing on her mind. She pointed a finger at him as pent up emotions broke through her weakly shored barriers. “I was scared to death. I’d never seen you like that. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have developed coping strategies.”

  “You shouldn’t have to.”

  She advanced another step. “Life isn’t perfect, Drew. That’s why I’m on the top when we make love. It’s a coping strategy.”

  She was going to lose it if she kept talking, and she did not want to lose it in public with her boss’s brother. “If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.” She brushed by him but he reached out and caught her arm, bringing her to a stop. The minute she stopped moving, he let go.

  “Do you blame me for not wanting to hurt you?” he asked.

  She shook back her hair as she raised her chin. “No. But when I’m in a relationship, I want to have a partner and I want to be a partner. I don’t want one person making decisions for the good of the other.” She searched his face, read uncertainty
, pain and...stubbornness. “That’s what you’re doing, Drew. And I can’t live with that.”

  * * *

  DREW DROVE HIS Jeep past the Lightning Creek Ranch up the winding mountain road to his cabin—the sanctuary that he and his daughter would soon own. His daughter who was upset because he was afraid to have her live with him.

  Wind blasted him sideways when he got out of the rig, nearly taking the door off. He got the door closed and kept his head down as he crossed to the house. When he turned on the generator, all three cats, mother and babies looked up from where they were nestled together on the sofa.

  Drew rubbed a hand over his forehead, then crossed to the kitchen, where he’d just finished installing new cabinets. They weren’t the ones Lissa had originally picked out. He’d gone to the showroom in Missoula, taken another look at the cabinets circled in the brochure and decided to go with something simpler, more in keeping with the minimalistic nature of the cabin. He thought she would have liked his choice. They looked nice.

  He poured a glass of water, went back to the living room and sat on the sofa next to his feline roommates. A few seconds later, the cat and kittens started edging onto his lap, curling around each other as they made themselves comfortable. Drew idly stroked Mama.

  How would Lissa have handled his nightmares? She was a strong woman, but was she strong enough to have dealt with him raging in the night?

  Would he have tried to protect her by isolating himself?

  Probably. It was the way he was wired.

  But Lissa wouldn’t have put up with that crap. She would have told him he had a daughter to raise and a wife to love. He closed his eyes as his hand settled on the purring cat. And every time they went to bed, he would have been terrified of hurting her.

  Just as he was afraid of hurting Faith.

  No easy answers. No hard answers, either. Just lots and lots of questions.

  He started to nod off, woke with a start, then eased the cats off his lap and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, he turned off the generator and climbed the ladder to the half loft without bothering with the electric lantern.

  Lissa was gone. Faith was there.

  No easy answers.

  Drew jerked awake as the weight landed square on his stomach, making him let out a low oof. He blinked into the darkness, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. He was breathing hard, but not hard enough to be coming out of a nightmare.