Flat Stanley's Worldwide Adventures #10

by jeff brown

  Contents

  1. A Rattlesnake in a Hurricane

  2. Rockin’ the Texas Capital

  3. Driven Underground

  4. Flying High

  5. On the Run

  6. Facing the Wind

  7. Showdown at the Alamo

  8. Flat Pal

  What You Need to Know to Go on Your Own Adventure in the Lone Star State

  Excerpt from Flat Stanley’s Worldwide Adventures #11

  About the Authors and Illustrator

  Back Ad

  Flat Stanley Books

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  1

  A Rattlesnake in a Hurricane

  “Look—we’re entering Texas!” cried Stanley’s mother, Harriett Lambchop, as she sped down the highway. From the backseat Stanley could see an oncoming sign welcoming them to the Lone Star State.

  “It’s so flat!” said Stanley, looking out at the plains.

  “You should know,” teased Stanley’s brother, Arthur. On the other side of Arthur sat their friend Carlos, who was studying a map.

  “Of course it’s flat, amigo,” said Carlos. “Look at this.” He handed the map over, and Stanley spread it on his lap.

  Ever since the bulletin board over his bed had fallen and flattened him, Stanley had been only half an inch thick. That made his lap an especially good travel table.

  “Do you see how that rectangular section near the top looks like a handle you could pick up the whole state with?” asked Carlos. “We’re in the Texas panhandle!”

  “How long until we get to Austin?” Arthur asked. The boys were going there to visit Carlos’s cousin Eduardo. Stanley had been looking forward to it for weeks!

  “Only nine more hours,” Mrs. Lambchop replied from behind the wheel.

  Texas is a very big state, thought Stanley.

  Stanley loved maps. Since being flattened, he had traveled all over the world, often by mail. He had been to Japan, Australia, Kenya, China, and Egypt. Mexico was where he had met Carlos’s cousin Eduardo, who was now a student at the University of Texas at Austin.

  Stanley followed along on the map as they drove. Amarillo was in the center of the panhandle. Outside the city, they passed a woman on a horse herding cattle. She was wearing a cowboy hat, and Stanley thought of his old friend Calamity Jasper, who he and Arthur had met on a family trip to Mount Rushmore. She’d ridden with Stanley rolled up on the back of her horse.

  If we drove north in a straight line, Stanley realized, we would hit South Dakota, where Calamity lives!

  “Look, boys, it’s the real Cadillac Ranch!” announced his mother.

  Stanley looked up to see ten brightly painted cars sticking out of the ground along the highway, like half-buried dominoes.

  “Cadillac Ranch is an art display that was created in the seventies,” Mrs. Lambchop explained.

  “Cool!” Arthur said, reaching over and opening the window as they drove by for a better look.

  Air rushed in, and the map on Stanley’s lap fluttered out the open window. He leaned out to catch it.

  The wind slammed into Stanley, catching his upper body like a sail.

  Oh no! Before Stanley knew what was happening, he had been pulled through the window and out of the car. In an instant the only thing keeping him down was his feet, which he had managed to hook around his seat belt.

  “Aaaaaahhhhhh!!” he screamed in terror as the car barreled down the highway. His body flapped out the window like a scarf.

  “STANLEY!” his mother shrieked. The car swerved wildly.

  “Hold on!” Carlos yelled as he and Arthur tried to pull him back in.

  Suddenly there was a siren and red-and-blue flashing lights. A police officer on a motorcycle pulled alongside their car. With a concerned look at Stanley, he motioned for Mrs. Lambchop to pull over to the side of the road.

  The policeman got off his motorcycle and asked them all to step out of the car. He stood in front of Stanley and took off his sunglasses. “Lil’ feller, just what were you doin’ flyin’ out the window at eighty-five miles an hour like a rattlesnake in a hurricane?”

  Stanley couldn’t stop shaking like a leaf. Getting sucked out the window had been very frightening. And now I’m in trouble with the law! he thought.

  “Armadillo got your tongue?” the officer said.

  “It wasn’t Stanley’s fault,” Carlos blurted.

  “Stanley gets caught in the wind,” agreed Arthur. “He’s been blown clear across Canada and Australia!”

  The officer nodded slowly, then he said, “Any o’ you fellers know what the word Texas means?”

  Mrs. Lambchop’s hand shot into the air. She waved it wildly like an excited student in class. Stanley knew how much his mother loved language trivia of any kind.

  “Ma’am?”

  “It’s the Caddo Indian word for ‘friends’!”

  “Right as a rutabaga root, ma’am,” the officer said, impressed.

  “I’m the social representative for the Grammar Society,” Mrs. Lambchop said with pride. “I’m attending the Texas Librarians’ Convention this weekend!”

  “Well, you’re not the only one who knows your buts from your bees,” said the officer. “Judgin’ from how these boys stuck up for their flat friend here, I’d say they know the meaning of Texas just fine.” The officer leaned in toward Stanley. “Just try and keep the flapjack in the frying pan next time, all right?”

  “Yes, sir,” Stanley said with relief.

  “One more thing,” the officer said. He pulled out a pen and pad of paper, and Stanley thought he was going to write them a ticket. Instead the officer held both items out to Stanley.

  “My grandmammy’s more stuck on you than tumbleweed on a cactus! Can I have your autograph? She’ll never believe in a million years that I pulled over Flat Stanley Lambchop!”

  2

  Rockin’ the Texas Capital

  Stanley was so excited to see Eduardo again, he almost wished they hadn’t needed to stop for the night. When they arrived at the University of Texas the next morning, he, Arthur, and Carlos couldn’t wait to get out of the car.

  The plan was for the boys to stay with Eduardo while Stanley’s mother attended the Texas Librarians’ Convention in San Antonio, which was less than a couple of hours away.

  The four of them waited for Eduardo in front of the clock tower in the center of campus. Not long ago Eduardo had guided Stanley on a trek through Mexico, giving long lectures about the country’s history as they went. Stanley could still hear Eduardo’s voice describing the achievements of the ancient Mayans. Now Eduardo was a college student studying history!

  “There he is!” said Carlos, bolting across the giant courtyard to meet his older cousin.

  Eduardo came over and patted Stanley on the back. “My amigo, you are even flatter than I remember you being!”

  “You got taller!” said Stanley.

  A moment later they all were following Eduardo to his dorm on the edge of campus. It was the first time Stanley had ever been to a university. Students strode back and forth along the paved pathways, clutching their bags and books. A line of burly men in football jerseys jogged by. Eduardo cried, “GO LONGHORNS!” and held up a fist with his forefinger and pinky finger raised like the horns of a bull. After the players had passed, he said, “Texas is a place where everything is big, but football may be biggest of all.”

  After the boys had dropped their bags off at Eduardo’s dorm room, it was time for Stanley’s mother to go.

  “Boys, I want you to have a good time,” she said. “Eduardo, you’re in charge, and I’m trusting you to be responsi
ble. I want all of you to promise me three things. One: Drive safely.”

  Eduardo nodded. “You have my word, Mrs. Lambchop.”

  “Two: You will meet me at the Alamo in San Antonio at noon the day after tomorrow.”

  Arthur checked his watch.

  “Three: Follow these rules at all times.” Mrs. Lambchop held up a book.

  “The Rules of English Grammar?” read Carlos.

  Mrs. Lambchop nodded and handed him the book. She was very serious about the proper use of language. “Now I must be on my way to the Texas Librarians’ Convention.”

  Mrs. Lambchop kissed Stanley twice—once on the forehead and once on the backhead—hugged Arthur, and left.

  The boys looked at one another excitedly. Eduardo rubbed his hands together. “Let the fun begin, amigos!”

  He led them away from the dorm and back toward the center of campus. “Who knows what Austin is the capital of?”

  “Texas?” guessed Arthur, rushing to keep up.

  “That is true,” said Eduardo. “What else?”

  “Football?” guessed Stanley.

  “That is also true in my opinion,” said Eduardo. “But what else?”

  No one answered.

  They came to a big grassy field, which was filled with people sitting on blankets gathered in front of a stage. “Well, amigos,” said Eduardo, “you are about to find out!”

  The boys followed him to the front near the stage. He motioned for them to stay put.

  Suddenly the crowd started cheering as a band of musicians took their places.

  “Where is Eduardo going?” Arthur asked. But then Stanley saw that Eduardo had joined the band and picked up a guitar.

  “Welcome to the music festival!” Eduardo yelled into his microphone. “Now what is Austin the capital of?!”

  “Live music!” the crowd shouted back.

  “What?” Eduardo put one hand up to his ear and with the other he pointed to Stanley and the boys in the front row. “My friends down here can’t hear you!”

  “LIVE MUSIC!”

  With a yowl, Eduardo chopped at his guitar, and sound flooded the air. Stanley had never heard such loud music before. With every beat, his whole body vibrated as if he were the skin of a drum. It was like the music was coming from inside him.

  When the song ended, Eduardo grinned at the three of them, sweat streaming down his face. “This next song is for a good friend,” he said into the microphone. “I hope you like it.” The drummer counted off, and Eduardo sang:

  “My amigo Stanley,

  he’s so flat!

  Like he fell from the sky

  and his body went splat!

  “He travels round the world

  to show us where it’s at.

  Man, he’s smooth

  as a flat butter pat!

  “Show your gratitude!

  Get the flattitude!

  Stay true to yourself

  and you’ll never fall flat!

  “Show your gratitude!

  Get the flattitude!

  Rock like the kid

  who rolls like a mat!”

  Eduardo leaned down and pulled Stanley up on the stage. The crowd went wild when they saw Stanley. Eduardo bent him so his back was arched and his hands and feet were on the ground. The drummer tossed Eduardo a pair of drumsticks, and he started tapping Stanley’s stomach and chest.

  With each beat of the drumsticks, Stanley’s body made a hollow thwop! It sounded like when Arthur opened his mouth wide and flicked his cheek with his finger.

  As Eduardo played him, Stanley struggled not to giggle, because it tickled. Once he relaxed, he felt the beat of his body meld with the vibrations from the bass drum. He tapped his feet. He couldn’t stop smiling.

  When Eduardo finished his solo, Stanley leaped up, and he, the band, and the crowd all shouted the last chorus together.

  “Show your gratitude!

  Get the flattitude!

  Rock like the kid

  who rolls like a mat!”

  3

  Driven Underground

  When the song ended with a cymbal crash, Stanley was overwhelmed by all the people screaming his name. Someone leaped onto the stage and tried to hug him, but Stanley slid out from under her arms. Suddenly the crowd rushed the stage like a tidal wave. The microphone stand was knocked to the ground, and Stanley lost his balance.

  What if I get trampled? he thought. He tucked his head to his chest and rolled himself up. Then he heard Arthur’s muffled voice: “We have to get Stanley out of here!”

  “Eduardo, you’re the strongest!” said Carlos.

  “Hold on, Stanley!” hollered Eduardo. He lifted Stanley up and tossed him off the stage like a giant bowling ball. Stanley’s body barreled through the crowd, his head spinning. He could hear people jumping out of his way. He rolled on, his friends close behind.

  The mob of fans did not stop chasing them until they were halfway across campus.

  An hour later Eduardo peeked out from between the curtains of his dorm room, watching the crowd of people outside. “I cannot believe it,” he said. “They’re still there. There’s even one girl in a cowboy hat who looks really dangerous.” More than a dozen fans had occupied the sidewalk outside Eduardo’s dorm. Every once in a while Stanley could hear them chanting his name.

  Stanley was draped over the back of the couch. His stomach grumbled. Eduardo had ordered pizza, but it hadn’t arrived yet.

  Carlos said, “Does this always happen when you travel, Stanley?”

  Stanley didn’t answer.

  “It’s gotten worse since he won the National Medal of Achievement on TV,” Arthur said.

  “I wish I had this many girls chasing me,” said Eduardo with admiration.

  Stanley grimaced.

  Carlos said, “On the way here, Señora Lambchop got pulled over by the police, and instead of giving us a ticket, the officer just asked Stanley for his autograph!”

  There was a knock on the door. Eduardo walked over to look through the peephole. “Pizza!” he called.

  While Eduardo paid the driver, Stanley carried the pizza over to the coffee table and opened the box.

  Staring up at him was a fan letter resting right on top of the pizza. In flowery letters someone had written the words COME OUTSIDE, STANLEY!

  With a grunt, Stanley tore the note in half.

  “What’s wrong, amigo?” Carlos said.

  “I just want to hang out with my friends this weekend!” Stanley said. “In peace and quiet!”

  “I know what we should do,” Eduardo announced after a moment. “Go camping! Get away from all this loco attention.”

  “Are we allowed?” Carlos asked.

  “I don’t think our mom would mind,” said Arthur, “as long as we drive safely, show up at the Alamo on time, and use good grammar.”

  “I have a car and camping gear,” said Eduardo. “I even know a dude ranch where we can get horses. We’ll go riding and camping, just the four of us, and then I’ll take you to meet your mother in San Antonio.”

  The boys scarfed down their pizza and packed up their things. Since they were on the ground floor, they snuck out the back window. Stanley went first, and the others slid down his body. They crept to Eduardo’s car and piled in. The car peeled away, and the shouts of Stanley’s fans quickly faded into the distance.

  There’s nothing better, thought Stanley, than four guys together on the open road!

  4

  Flying High

  Stanley was impressed by how carefully Eduardo drove, obeying Stanley’s mother’s first rule. They left the city and were soon in a red landscape of cacti and low bushes.

  Eventually they came to a small town. There was a main street lined with low buildings that looked like part of a set from one of the old western movies Stanley’s father loved. They passed a saloon and an old-fashioned-looking bank. Eduardo parked in front of a building with a sign that read BIG BILL’S DUDE RANCH.

  A man wit
h a gray handlebar mustache and a ten-gallon hat lumbered down the dusty porch and waved to them. “Welcome to Bandera, the cowboy capital of the whole doggone world! The name’s Big Bill. You bandits fixin’ to saddle up?”

  “Yes, sir!” said Carlos.

  “We need two horses to ride into the wilderness for an overnight camping trip,” said Eduardo.

  “I have just the horses for you,” said Big Bill. He led Stanley, Carlos, and Eduardo toward a stable to the side of the building.

  “Hey!” said Arthur.

  “Hay is for horses, Arthur,” said Stanley. Their mother was always correcting Arthur when he said that. “Don’t forget your grammar.”

  “That’s what I meant!” said Arthur, pointing to a bale of hay beside a hitching post. “It’s hay!”

  “This here is Sam Houston,” Big Bill said, patting a brown horse with a white star on its nose. “Named after the first elected president of the Republic of Texas. Y’all know that before it was a state, Texas was its own country for a while? Real independent. Sam Houston here has a mind of his own.” Stanley laid his hand against the side of the horse, and Sam Houston gave a friendly shudder.

  The man moved over and tightened the saddle on a black horse. “And this is Davy Crockett. You heard o’ him? The King of the Wild Frontier? He fought at the Alamo. Bet you didn’t know that the real Davy Crockett was a congressman from Tennessee.” He patted the horse. “Anyway, Davy here used to have a coonskin cap, but he ate it.”

  Stanley grinned. “Thanks, Big Bill,” he said.

  Their saddlebags were packed with supplies for the night, and Carlos and Eduardo rode together on Sam Houston, while Arthur and Stanley rode Davy Crockett. Stanley had not ridden a horse since their friend Calamity Jasper had taken him and Arthur looking for gold in South Dakota. He’d forgotten how fun and bouncy it was.

  With Sam Houston and Davy Crockett kicking up clouds of dust behind them, Stanley and his fellow cowboys rode into the Texan wilderness.

  Stanley’s flat legs were just starting to hurt from slapping against the sides of his horse when Arthur suggested they stop to drink from their canteens. As Stanley dismounted, the wind picked up. He held on to Davy Crockett’s reins as the wind blew him a few feet off the ground.