Indiana: Stargazer Alien Mail Order Brides #6 (Intergalactic Dating Agency)

by Tasha Black

  “Good morning,” Indiana replied, relieved that at least someone wanted to talk to him.

  “It’s going to be a weird day, huh?” Malik’s voice was just as loud as before to be heard over the kitchen, but he leaned in confidentially.

  “It has been a weird day,” Indiana admitted.

  “Everyone is talking about that video,” Malik told him. “Drawing some natural comparisons between you boys and another set of brothers that have been in the news lately. It’s natural that people who know you will feel a little betrayed if it turns out that you aren’t who you said you were.”

  Indiana felt instantly guilty. He had never meant to harm anyone.

  “Does everyone know?” Indy asked.

  “No one knows anything for sure, my boy,” Malik told him. “Just rumors and speculation. It’s what the internet does best. And I suggest you let them keep right on guessing.”

  Malik gave him a look that told Indy he wasn’t guessing at all.

  “I myself don’t give a good goddamn one way or the other,” Malik said, clapping him on the shoulder. “You boys are some of the best employees I’ve ever had.”

  He was thankful for the man’s kind words, but the whole idea made his stomach twist. His friends in Stargazer had risked so much to get him and his brothers out. He wondered what might happen to the people who had helped him if the rumors surrounding the video gained any traction.

  “Whatever your story is, your colleagues will come around eventually,” Malik said. “And in the meantime, you can win back their approval by taking extra shifts.”

  “I knew you had an ulterior motive,” Indy laughed.

  Malik shrugged, then laughed too.

  “Focus on your job today, my boy,” he advised Indy, clapping him on the shoulder once more. “Everything else will fall into place, you’ll see. Let’s get to work.”

  Indiana found those words of comfort oddly foreboding. But he nodded and headed into the dining room with Malik at his heels.

  The hostess looked up at him, and her face turned bright pink. She looked down quickly, studying her shoes as if they might contain the secrets of the universe.

  “Hey, Sally,” Indiana said.

  “Hi, Indy,” she whispered, looking up at him with shining eyes.

  “Look sharp, boy,” Malik said, grabbing his elbow and steering him away. “Table four is waiting.”

  Indiana allowed himself to be led away.

  “Women love aliens,” Malik whispered. “The news articles about you guys are like Tiger Beat for grown-ups. Keep your wits about you with the female staff.”

  Indiana tried to make sense of what Malik had just said, but the customers at table four saw him and began to shout out breakfast orders, so he put it aside in his mind, to review in detail later.

  He had just pretended to write down their orders on his pad, when someone pinched his posterior and giggled.

  He turned to see Eve, another waiter, pass with a smile on her face. She turned back and winked at him before going into the kitchen.

  It was going to be a weird day, alright.

  Nikki

  Nikki watched the scene playing out before her eyes.

  She wasn’t an actual Theater and Theology double major at Vanderbilt, like she’d told the others. But she had taken enough classes and been in enough performances to know her way around a stage. And it didn’t take great acting chops to see that the two performers in front of her were a hot mess.

  “Great job guys,” she sang out encouragingly as soon as one of them struggled to remember a line.

  Hopefully they would think she legitimately thought they were finished.

  The two young women giggled nervously and took their seats around the pavilion.

  “Who’s next?” Nikki asked, looking around.

  Two hands went up instantly - Tina and Marcus Getty, the middle aged couple from Staten Island. Tina and Marcus were actually pretty funny, and they always picked a good scene. In their real lives the Gettys ran a very successful antique shop. But they lived for their week of acting classes and performances at Maxwell’s every summer.

  “Miss Fortune,” a voice rang out from the lawn.

  Nikki stood and walked to the railing.

  On the lush green lawn below, Mr. Abrams stood, looking up at her with a hand over his brow to block the sun.

  “Oh, hi there, Mr. Abrams,” she said.

  “I need your help with something,” he called up.

  She turned back to her class.

  Violet, a blonde woman who was at Maxwell’s for her second week raised her hand.

  “Want me to take over?” Violet asked hopefully.

  “Sure,” Nikki said with a smile. “Keep going, guys. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  She took the stairs down to the lawn where Mr. Abrams waited.

  He smiled as he saw her come around the curved wall of the pavilion.

  “My nephew is here,” he told her proudly. “You know he’s a theater major, just like you.”

  Shit. She hoped he wasn’t an especially studious or inquisitive theater major.

  “That’s great, Mr. Abrams,” she said.

  “Not as great as if he were majoring in Hotel and Restaurant Management,” Mr. Abrams said with a shrug.

  But Nikki could tell by the older man’s posture and the smile tugging at the corners of his lips that he was completely delighted that his nephew was an actor.

  They climbed the stairs to the main lobby of the big stone lodge, where they were greeted with a blast of cool air.

  “I thought you might like to meet in the library,” Mr. Abrams told Nikki as he led her down the hall.

  “Sure,” Nikki said.

  She was surprised to hear that there was a library in the lodge. A place like Maxwell’s was built for outdoor fun. It was nice to think that all this time there had been a place to curl up and read.

  Mr. Abrams pushed open an oak door.

  Nikki sighed with delight.

  The whole back wall of the room was windows overlooking the lawn and lake. The other three walls had built-in bookshelves up to the ceiling, all stuffed with volumes of various kinds, in no discernible order. Dog-eared paperbacks were snuggled between leather bound tomes with gold leaf titles. On one shelf, children’s books were scattered between the volumes of an old Encyclopedia Britannica.

  A chandelier hung from the center of the room, illuminating a large wooden table, where a man sat. He was enormous and good-looking in a puppyish way, with large dark eyes and floppy chestnut hair.

  “Hey, Uncle Arnie,” he said, leaping to his feet and sending the curls tumbling around on top of his head.

  “Jonah,” Mr. Abrams said, “I’d like you to meet Nikki Fortune.”

  “Hi, Nikki,” Jonah said, offering her his hand. “Great name.”

  “Thanks,” Nikki replied. “And nice to meet you.”

  “I sent for Indiana as well,” Mr. Abrams said. “I understand he’s a good communicator.”

  “Okay,” Nikki said, plastering a smile on her face as she silently cursed fate for throwing her together with Indy yet again.

  “See you kids later,” Mr. Abrams said, his hand on the door. “And good luck.”

  He was gone again before Nikki could thank him.

  “So…” Jonah said, letting the word trail out a little. “Are they as hot as everyone says?”

  “Who?” Nikki was lost.

  “The aliens, honey,” Jonah said, one eyebrow arched. “Who else?”

  Oh.

  “Oh,” she said. “Yes. They’re as hot as everyone says. TV doesn’t do them justice.”

  Jonah nodded, looking very pleased.

  “Well, I’m glad I brought my A-game wardrobe. Do you think I could pass for one?”

  Nikki laughed. “You’re built and you’re good-looking - all we need is the acting chops I’m told you already have.”

  “You and I are going to be great friends,” Jonah predicted. />
  The door opened and Indiana came in.

  “He-llo, nurse,” Jonah said appreciatively.

  “I’m not a nurse,” Indy replied. “Are you ill? I can escort you to the infirmary.”

  “Sorry, honey, it’s just a figure of speech,” Jonah said. “I’m Jonah, you must be Indiana.”

  The two shook hands.

  “Our job is to teach Jonah to pretend to be from Aerie,” Nikki explained. “So that if anyone does believe the video that’s online and comes here to try and spot an alien, they’ll get Jonah instead.”

  “I’m going to be your decoy,” Jonah said.

  Indiana looked the other man up and down.

  “Yes,” he said at last. “You’re strong and very handsome. This is a good plan.”

  “God, I love this place,” Jonah observed.

  “Mr. Abrams explained that you’re going to be a waiter, right?” Indiana asked.

  “Yes,” Jonah said. “He wants me to do what you guys do.”

  “Then I will explain waiting tables,” Indiana announced.

  “Oh, I don’t think he needs you to—” Nikki began.

  “Let’s see this through,” Jonah said, cutting her off and jostling her lightly with his elbow.

  “When you see the customer, you should smile at them,” Indiana said. “It should be as if they were your long lost friend, or a beloved pet.”

  Nikki bit her lip trying not to giggle as Indiana pretended to spot them and walk over.

  “Next you must always ask a personal question,” Indiana said. “But not too personal. Or they will complain.” A dark expression flitted across his face and Nikki wondered desperately what he could have asked someone to get himself into trouble. The list of possible mistakes was endless, really, given that he wasn’t human.

  “That’s a lovely dress,” Indy told Nikki. “Do you have big plans for the day?”

  Jonah nodded.

  “Next,” Indy said, “you should take their drink order. Certain beverages are for adults only. Do not bring adult-only beverages to children. This is always a mistake.”

  “Very wise,” Jonah agreed.

  The explanation continued until Indy explained about the check.

  “After they pay you will notice something very strange,” he said. “They will leave behind a portion of their money on the table. Or they may tell you to keep the change. They don’t mean they want you to save it for them. That’s yours. You can spend it or save it any way you like.”

  “Very nice,” Jonah said.

  Nikki sort of loved him for his sincere way of listening.

  “And that,” Indiana said with a tremendous wink, “is how to be a waiter.”

  “This was so helpful,” Jonah said. “Thank you.”

  He wasn’t wrong about that. Indy’s explanation had probably taught Jonah quite a bit about how to be a convincing alien.

  “My pleasure,” Indy said, taking a seat at the head of the table.

  “So, the guys are in the main bunk room,” Nikki said. “You’ll stay with them, hang out with them. Observe them so that you can really embody the role.”

  Jonah nodded.

  “It will be tempting to go in and out of character,” Nikki went on. “But the best thing you can do is go all in, even in your own head. Totally method. You’re Jonah, formerly a gaseous mass from Aerie. You migrated into a human form, while watching loads of eighties movies.”

  “I’ve got ‘em all locked and loaded,” Jonah said, slipping a tablet out of his pocket and tapping it. “Every popular eighties movie there is.”

  “No,” Nikki said. “You can’t have that here.”

  “Why not?”

  “How would you have gotten it?” she asked. “The men from Aerie don’t have devices. And they haven’t been shopping.”

  “Well that’s something we need to correct tout suite, baby,” Jonah told Indiana.

  Nikki thought about it. Jonah had a point. The men had a bit of money after their work this summer. They should learn to shop.

  “We’ll take them shopping. Great idea,” she said. “But you’re coming too.”

  “Believe me, I wouldn’t miss it,” Jonah said.

  “Anyway, stay in character,” Nikki said. “Anything you have with you that doesn’t support your story, you need to lose. Don’t make pop culture references that are post 1989. Don’t talk about school, or recent sporting events. Don’t talk about past relationships. Forget your past life and just live in the role.”

  “What can I talk about?” Jonah asked.

  “The best thing to do is redirect attention to the person you’re talking to,” Nikki said. “Ask them questions about themselves and their lives. Everyone likes to talk about their own interests to a captive audience. You’ll be fine.”

  “Wow,” Jonah said. “You’re, like, weirdly good at this.”

  Shit. She might be showing her own training too much.

  “No,” she said. “I just like cop shows.”

  “I wouldn’t have guessed that,” Jonah said, laughing. “You’re a woman of many layers.”

  You don’t know the half of it.

  “I’ve got a tennis lesson in a few minutes,” Nikki said. “So I’ve gotta run off, but it was great to meet you, Jonah. And I’ll see you guys later.”

  “Bye, Nikki,” Jonah said.

  “Good-bye, Nikki,” Indiana said, a strange expression on his face.

  There was no time to worry about it. Nikki had to hustle if she was going to get to the tennis courts in time to catch Travers.

  Indiana

  Indiana was not fond of the way Jonah interacted with Nikki. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what was wrong, except that the man was overly familiar and effusive with her.

  Worse, Jonah was strong and handsome, just the kind of male Earth females liked.

  Although Nikki had not allowed Indiana to lay any claim on her, he was still riddled with a hollow and uncomfortable feeling he could only assume was jealousy.

  He stood as soon as the door closed behind her.

  “I must go,” he said.

  “You have a tennis lesson too?” Jonah asked.

  “No,” Indy said. “I just need to leave.”

  “Well… I guess I’ll see you later,” Jonah said. He looked a little crestfallen.

  “Don’t worry,” Indiana couldn’t help assuring him. “You will be a fine decoy.”

  “Thanks,” Jonah said, the smile back on his face. “See you later, then.”

  “Yes.” Indy nodded, then headed outside as fast as he could.

  Indiana was accustomed to the wide space of the lab, the open field and pond in Stargazer, and the screened cabin at Maxwell’s. He wasn’t entirely comfortable in constrained spaces.

  He wondered if he would get used to it in time, or if he would be like a wild animal, unhappy when confined.

  The sky was blue and the grass stretched and shimmied in the light breeze, trying to distract him from his worries.

  One of the other waiters was heading his way from the direction of the golf course. Indiana started to smile and make a lighthearted joke about his lifeguard girlfriend, then remembered that the other man likely didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him now that he suspected Indy was an alien.

  Indiana felt his mood darken further, and found his feet carrying him toward the tennis courts instead of his intended walk on the golf course.

  He had always been curious about Nikki’s tennis lessons. She was not a skilled player and she did not seem to enjoy learning. He wondered if perhaps she was interested in playing to further her future career. But it seemed that the game of golf was a more likely sport for fraternizing with bosses, if the movies were to be believed.

  No, there must be something else driving her to relentlessly take tennis lessons.

  His sense of jealousy now fully awake and ruffled, Indiana decided to get to the bottom of it.

  The tennis courts were sheltered in the hillside below
a small picnic area. It was a sunny day, so the seating area on the big terrace back at the lodge was open, and the wait staff brought lemonade and coffee there regularly. So it was improbable that he would be disturbed at the weathered old picnic table overlooking the tennis courts.

  If he could reach it before Nikki came out for her lesson, he could observe her from above. And unless she decided to look up into the trees on the hill, she was unlikely to notice him there.

  He managed to make it up the hill to the table before she appeared below.

  A squirrel was already sitting on top of the table, eating half of a cinnamon raisin bagel. The creature observed him, its dark eyes wide as if it were horrified that Indiana could be so impudent as to interrupt its meal.

  “Hello,” Indiana whispered politely, though he had been told repeatedly that animals couldn’t speak.

  The squirrel only dragged its prize away, scolding him soundly as it scuttled up a tree.

  Indiana approached and sat on one of the benches, then slid himself as close to the end of it as he dared.

  He was just able to see the tennis courts and the little break area nearby.

  In the break area, a man and woman were huddled close together.

  And though Indy might not want to admit to himself who the woman was, her dark curls gave her away.

  The short blond man had an arm wrapped around her shoulders and Nikki leaned into him intimately.

  Indiana felt his cheeks grow hot.

  Nikki’s voice carried up the hill, soft and melodious like a clarinet, but too faint for him to pick out the words. Her tone was seductive.

  Indy wanted to look away, but somehow he couldn’t. Instead he found himself gritting his teeth and leaning further toward the hillside, trying to hear better, see better.

  The man straightened. His arm was still slung over Nikki’s shoulder but he was holding his other hand out between them. He spoke to her, his voice a muted trombone of annoyance.

  Indiana watched with interest as the conversation continued a few more minutes, until Nikki slipped something out of her pocket and placed it in the man’s extended hand.

  Money.

  The man’s hand closed eagerly around the crumpled bills, and they disappeared into his pocket.