Rowan

by Terra Wolf

  ***

  The class was a lesson in self-control and I was so very glad that I punched record on my phone because my concentration was shot.

  The professor handed the groups each a sheet to complete as he lectured. We were to hand it back to him by the end of the class.

  I tried to keep my focus on what the white-bearded man was saying. I really did. Just like I tried to take notes as the minutes went by as well as give my input on the answers to the handout.

  However, the spicy scent of Rowan’s cologne wrapped me in a fog of female want. I remembered that scent well. Late into the nights we used to spend together so long ago, I would put my nose against his neck and inhale a big whiff as we cuddled our way to sleep. Cologne and the woods, he always smelled like the outside, from running as his bear through the forest.

  That same scent had clung to the huge shirts he gave me to sleep in and his hoodie when I borrowed it.

  It had wrapped me in an invisible cloak of security and love.

  I fought against the memories that scent invoked but it seemed like an uphill battle. I almost sighed in relief when the professor announced the end of the class.

  Rowan went up the professor’s desk to hand in our assignment and I took this as my opportunity to escape. I hurriedly stuck my belongings into my bag. Everything inside, I hopped out of my seat and rushed for the exit.

  “Willa,” Rowan called but I ignored him.

  In the hallway, I headed straight for the parking lot and my car. This was my last class for the afternoon and I had to pick Liam up from the daycare.

  “Hey Willa, wait up,” I heard Rowan’s voice call.

  The voice sounded a lot closer than I expected and I turned only to run into what felt like a wall.

  A warm, hotly fragrant male wall.

  I bounced off the hardness of Rowan’s chest. The force of the sudden contact sent me toward the floor. I was falling and couldn’t stop the descent.

  I let out a startled squeak in anticipation of the hurt from landing on the tiled floor but strong, male hands grabbed my upper arms to keep me from becoming intimate with the tiles. They pulled me back to that hard chest and my breasts became plastered against him. I drew in a sharp breath as my nipples immediately pebbled at the contact. Damn his hotness.

  At the same time, my fingers tangled in the fabric of Rowan’s shirt. I flew a startled gaze up to his to find him watching me with a warm mirth.

  “We worked well together today. Just like we did before.”

  “That's probably not a good idea.”

  I gave him a look.

  “With our history, I don’t think I have to explain why.”

  “I hardly think our history factors into the fact that we work well together.” He said this slowly as if speaking to a child.

  His tone didn’t help my disposition one bit.

  I sighed, not about to get into this in the middle of the hallway where several other students were moving about.

  “It's just not a good idea, Rowan. Let’s just leave it at that.”

  I hoisted my bag on my shoulder, ready to continue on my way. The considering look Rowan gave me sent a premonition of impending disaster but my feet remained rooted in place even though I told them to move.

  Before he opened his mouth I knew he was going to say something that would make me mad.

  I was right.

  “No, let’s discuss this. Why don't you think we should study together? Is it because you don’t think you can keep your hands off me?”

  He raised an eyebrow to end his proclamation.

  My outraged inhale seemed loud even with the noise around us.

  “You’re not nearly as irresistible as you think,” I told him, hand coming up to rest on my hip in a show of attitude.

  Something inside me said, Liar.

  I ignored that voice.

  “Then prove it. Let’s be study buddies. We hit the books without letting the past get in the way of our school stuff. We are both responsible, sensible adults. There’s no harm as long as we act that way. I mean unless you don’t want to…”

  There a challenge in the words he spoke and I could stop from accepting his dare.

  “Rowan!”

  “Fine, I’m joking, but really let’s study. You were always a good partner.”

  I sighed. I would show him. After all, responsible and sensible were my middle names.

  “Fine,” I said, the word coming out from between clenched teeth. “We can study together.”

  His smile was wide. Triumphant.

  I wanted to kick myself for falling so neatly into his trap but I couldn’t back out now though.

  “How about we start tonight?”

  That eyebrow rose again in challenge and I found myself unable to back down. Again.

  “Tonight,” I agreed.

  “Want me to come over to your place?”

  “No!” My denial was too loud as I imagined the horror of Rowan coming into my home. Of him meeting Liam.

  I couldn’t let that happen. Not for as long as I could help it.

  Rowan gave me a puzzled look and a few of the other students did too.

  “No,” I said more calmly. “We can meet up at your place. Are you staying with your mom?”

  “No, I got my own apartment so I could be closer to campus.”

  Oh. Rowan and I all alone in the confines of a space that smelt like him. Where I couldn’t escape his charm, or have a distraction from his sex appeal.

  What could possibly go wrong?

  He pulled out his smart phone – a slick-looking, clearly new model - from his back pocket and said, “Give me your number and I will send you the address.”

  He looked at me expectantly.

  Even though warning sirens were blaring in my head, I began to rattle off my number. He picked up from the middle, finishing the last four numbers for me.

  “You have the same number,” he realized before adding, “So do I. It’s…”

  I become stuck on the fact that he still had my number memorized but then remember that I knew his by heart too. Even after all this time had passed.

  I made a big deal about scrolling through my phone like I was entering the digits but they were already saved.

  I never deleted them.

  “I’ll text you my address in a few minutes.”

  “Okay, I have to go now. I am late for… an appointment.”

  If Rowan noticed my hesitation, he didn’t show it.

  He beamed another smile at me and said, “See you tonight, Willa.”

  I walked away knowing I was making a huge mistake and still helpless to stop myself.

  Seven

  Rowan

  My bear paced back and forth, back and forth. So anxious. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  I looked in the mirror hanging on the wall for the umpteenth time, smoothing my hair down and looking for imaginary creases in my clothes.

  I turned away, making an impatient sound at my lovesick behavior.

  It was fucking ridiculous how hung up I was on this woman.

  Even now there was an uncomfortable snugness in my jeans just thinking about her. My attraction to Willa was undeniable from the moment we sat in that lab almost eight years ago. It grew with every day we spent together and blossomed into heated desire when we started dating. Now though…

  Now was a whole other ballgame.

  The desire I felt for Willa back then felt like firecrackers compared to the fireworks I felt now.

  Willa was all grown up. She had always had a curvy figure but the way she filled out her clothing now damn near left me panting.

  It was puzzling how strongly I felt for her now. My feelings for her before seemed soft and innocent compared to the basic rawness of them now. I knew my bear wanted to claim her, be her mate.

  But I just wanted between her thighs and my brain was clouded by thoughts of how I could get here.

  I couldn’t claim that my offer to be study buddies w
as completely innocent. Yes, I would love to have her as an academic partner again but plain and simple, I needed to be close to her as often as possible and this was the perfect excuse.

  I moved over to where I had my laptop, textbooks, and notebook set up at the kitchen table.

  After rearranging the tools on the surface yet again before I began to pace the hardwood floors. I threw a look at the clock on the oven.

  It read six forty-three.

  Seventeen minutes until our scheduled study date.

  The anticipation and nerves drove me to the refrigerator and I grabbed a bottle of beer.

  I acted confident but I felt anything but. I was so far out of my element it was almost laughable. The feelings Willa stirred in me left me unsettled and I had no idea what to make of them.

  Willa’s knock on the door, announced her arrival a few minutes later.

  I put my half-finished bottle on the kitchen counter and made my way across the space. I wiped sweaty palms down my jean covered thighs and took a look around to make sure everything was tidy.

  Of course it was.

  I had never been a messy person but being in the military had drilled being tidy into my bones. I had only just moved into my apartment and so only the essentials were here. The space was open concept. The kitchen and living room were separated by a small table.

  The kitchen carried all the essentials for cooking but I barely used them. The living room carried a two piece set, a center table and a huge television mounted on the wall. A hallway led to the only bathroom and bedroom.

  I hurried to open the door when she knocked again.

  I opened the door and promptly lost my breath.

  My bear growled, pawing at me to let him free.

  Fuck. She was smoking hot.

  She was dressed in a sleeveless top and plain dark blue skirt that skimmed her knees. Her feet were encased in a pair of sandals to reveal her toes, which were painted a light pink color. Her book bag hung off her right shoulder.

  Without trying, she was easily the most gorgeous woman I had ever met.

  She looked at me with those shy eyes framed by widened lenses. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, but a few strands had broken free of the confines to fall over her grey-blue orbs.

  She pushed them back impatiently, the movement automatic.

  The fact that she seemed completely unaware of how sexy she was just made her more appealing,

  “Hey.”

  Her breathy greeting pulled me out of the spell I was under.

  “Can I come in?” she asked as I continued to stare at her.

  “Of course. Where are my manners? I’m so sorry.”

  I moved aside so she could come in. Her light floral scent made my dick try to pop out of my pants.

  I closed the door, then we were completely alone together.

  She made it to the center of the living room, looked around briefly, then turned back to me.

  I cleared my throat and tried to act normal, turning slightly so that she didn’t notice the hardened state of my body. Thankfully I was wearing a shirt that fell over the unruly organ that was overpowering my brain.

  “I hope you didn’t eat yet. I ordered dinner. It should be here in about an hour so I was thinking we could get some studying done then chow down,” I said.

  “Okay,” she replied.

  A moment of silence stretched out between us after. We looked at each other.

  I cleared my throat again. I wracked my brain trying to come up with a suave line but all I came up with then was, “Okay. Let’s get started, shall we?”

  She nodded and followed me to the table.

  We got to work and it was all very innocent as we bounced questions and answers off each other.

  I was even able to simmer my attraction down enough so that I could concentrate ad retain most of the information we went over. Willa was in her element, repeatedly pushing her glasses up her nose and pushing her hair out of her face as her forehead frowned slightly in concentration.

  Controlling my desire for her was one of the hardest things I had ever done.

  Dinner arrived and we took a break.

  We had moved our books to the side and dinner was set up. I had ordered from one of my favorite restaurants across town. The food smelled delicious, a meat and potatoes deal that tasted as good as it looked. The dinner came with a bottle of red wine and we indulged in a glass even though Willa had said, “I don’t think we should.”

  “Come on. Just one glass.”

  The stiffness between us had slowly melted away and the conversation between us flowed smoothly. Our plates were almost empty and the wine glasses were in the same condition. We were both on our second glass.

  Willa lifted her glass to her lips for another sip then commented, “This is really good.”

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “So,” she said stretching the word. “This suddenly seems more like a date than a study session. I’m thinking you tricked me, Mr. Johnson.”

  She didn’t sound mad about the possible trickery but I thought her relaxed attitude had a lot to do with the wine. She wouldn’t feel the same if she was clearheaded. She would be back to the girl on the hike, pissed and cold.

  She took another sip and her drop of liquid glistened off her lower lips before she licked it off.

  I wanted to lean forward and taste those lips.

  I followed suit and brought my glass to my lips, trying to control the impulse. I wasn’t drunk in that moment but neither was I fully sober.

  My eyes dropped to the fullness of her lips and she noticed, if the way her nostrils flared and her eyes darkened were any indication.

  “And would it bother you if this was in fact a date?’ I asked, subtly moving closer to her. We were sitting on the same side of the table and we had already drifted far closer than when we studied.

  “I am pretty sure it is the wine talking but I am completely okay with it. Although if I had known earlier, I would have worn something a little more fitting for the occasion,” she said, playing with her lock of her that had fallen over her shoulder.

  She was flirting with me and I loved it. Willa was very reserved but once she came out of her shell, it was a sight to behold.

  I very much doubted her words though. She had been so harsh on the hike, but now I realized maybe that was all a show for her younger brother. And if it was, then I was a lucky man.

  Another sip of wine. Then she continued, “So now that you have wined and dined me, what’s next?”

  I leaned closer still until her lips were only a few centimeters from mine. I inhaled her every exhale and she did the same for me.

  “That is entirely up to you,” I said, my tone lowering. Becoming more intimate.

  She sighed, pulling away slightly. “You’re bad for me Rowan. Trouble.”

  “Always have been, I’ve never denied that.”

  “We were just supposed to study.”

  “Then we will,” I agreed.

  Her lips tilted up in one corner. “Are you telling me you have no ideas on what you would like to happen next? Besides study I mean.”

  My lips curved too although I felt absolute predatory in that moment,

  “Oh I had quite a few knocking around my noggin,” I answered suggestively. “But I believe in letting a lady go first. In everything. You remember, right?”

  Her cheeks became pink and I knew she remembered how I liked to make her come first at least once before I took my pleasure when we screwed around in the past.

  “I remember. Good policy,” she agreed.

  There was hardly any space left between our lips now. Just the slightest move forward on either of our parts and our lips would be locked.

  I was about to make that move when a noise had us both jerking our heads around to see what caused it.

  A pen and notebook had fallen to the ground, pushed over by the dishes crowding the tabletop.

  The loud clatter effectively broke the spell.


  Willa jerked away from me, the light in her eyes suddenly very much sober.

  “Fuck, what am I doing?” I heard her whisper to herself.

  She stood quickly and moved around the table to start gathering her books.

  I followed close on her heels.

  “I should leave. It’s getting late and- oomph”

  I didn’t want her to leave.

  Understatement of the century if there ever was one.

  No, I needed her to stay.

  I only meant to delay her parting with words.

  Even without things getting physical, this little flirtation we shared in the last few minutes was a far better than the tenseness that existed between us since we reconnected. I didn’t want things to revert back to that uneasiness.

  So I kissed her.

  She froze then so did I, expecting a slap to the face.

  But she didn’t slap me. Thank God.

  Eight

  Willa

  I knew the feel of those lips on mine.

  I knew the taste of them like they were my own.

  The wine we drank added an underlying fruity flavor that only enhanced his deliciousness.

  There had been many times when Rowan and I would spend hours just making out, sipping from each other’s lips like we had all the time in the world.

  But we hadn’t had all the time in the world. Our time had ended suddenly and those lips had caused me endless pain with their words.

  I should have pushed him away and walked out of here to save myself the heartache sure to come.

  I had given myself a little pep talk before I came over to Rowan’s apartment. No matter what, I would resist his appeal this time. I came over here to study and that was it. Then he became that guy that only I had the opportunity to see before. Not the one who flirted so automatically, but the one who was warm and open to me. Only me.

  I missed that guy.

  I missed him and the moments we shared. Loving moments like sharing light banter over a tasty meal. It was hard not to pretend that the last five years hadn’t happened and just be with him like we used to be.

  But I knew better.

  The little moment we shared was a fantasy because the last five eyes had indeed happened and they had taken their toll on me.