Charming Dave

by Doreen Alsen

  Ruark couldn’t breathe due to the noxious cloud of Chocolate Axe in the limo.

  He didn’t mishear Alden, though. “Lucky?” Picking at a loose thread on his jacket, all casual like, he looked Alden in the face. “You’d better not be talking about my sister.”

  Alden bared his teeth in a Chester Cheeto big cheesy grin. “She’s totally hot.” He shook his fingers as if they sizzled. “Any guy would be lucky to be with her. You don’t think I’m lucky to be her date tonight?”

  Leo Campanello, part of Alden’s gang, snickered.

  “I don’t think you deserve to breathe the same air she does.” Ruark wanted to rip Alden’s guts out through his mouth.

  “I guess she doesn’t agree with you.” Alden leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I think we’ll be sharing a lot more than air tonight.”

  A vein started pulsing in Ruark’s temple. “You’ll be a gentleman and treat her with the respect she deserves.”

  “Whatchu gon’ do ’bout it, if’n Ah don’t, son?” Alden asked as he channeled his inner Foghorn Leghorn. Leo and Kevin, the other one of Alden’s buddies in the car, guffawed like hyenas.

  Assholes.

  “Just watch where you put your hands.” If he hadn’t wanted to go to the dance at first, Ruark really was glad to be going there now, so he could keep an eye on Alden.

  His sister sure had lousy taste in guys.

  “Oooh, I’m scurred now.” Alden leaned back again. “What you gonna do, faggot? Smack me with your purse?”

  Just in the nick of time, the limo turned into the circular drive in front of the Brewsters’ house. Ruark figured Alden, Leo, and Kevin would behave once the girls joined them. He hoped. He hated violence. He hated even the thought of violence. He would, however, go after anyone who hurt his sisters.

  The limo came to rest underneath a portico held up by fat white columns in front of the entrance to the house. Warm light glowed from within, creating a very homey effect. Pots of orange, red, and yellow mums, along with strategically placed pumpkins and cornstalks, were just enough. Any more decoration would have been tacky.

  Mrs. Brewster, looking totally dignified, opened the door before the boys could ring the bell. Hair the color of champagne, make up perfect, dressed in a pair of loden green slacks, a rich cream cashmere turtleneck and a muted plaid blazer, she looked like a cover model for Town and Country magazine.

  Maybe time with Cecily wouldn’t be so bad. If her mom was so classy, maybe Cecily would be.

  Mrs. Brewster grinned warmly at the boys. “Come on in, guys.” She winked. “I think the girls are almost ready.”

  “Hey, Mrs. B.” Alden bounded up the porch steps. “How are you?”

  “I’m well, Alden.” She shook the hand he offered. “We missed your mother at bridge Thursday afternoon. I hope everything’s okay.”

  “She had to take my grandmother to a doctor’s appointment in Boston. Just a routine check up.”

  “Well, you just tell her hello for me.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Alden swung his arm around Ruark’s shoulder, like any good ol’ boy would. So cool, butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. “Have you met Ruark Logan? He’s Shanna Logan’s twin brother.”

  Mrs. Brewster smiled at Ruark. “Oh my, Cecily’s date!” She held out her hand out. “I’m glad to finally meet you.”

  Ruark shook her hand. “I’m honored to meet you, ma’am.”

  Mrs. Brewster upped the wattage of her smile. “Aren’t you the charming one? I suppose all you southern boys are.” She turned her head to greet a man who’s pressed, brightly plaid pants and emerald green polo shirt screamed “GOLFER!” “Come here, Hank. I want you to meet Cecily’s date, Ruark Logan.”

  Hank came over sporting his best hail-fellow-well-met smile and grabbed Ruark’s hand. “Logan. Where have I heard that name before?”

  Uh, my mother is your cleaning lady? Holy crud. He didn’t care for himself, but all Shanna needed was to have her friends all find out her mother was the hired help.

  “He’s Ruark Logan, Shanna Logan’s twin brother. You know, the little girl who’s Cece’s new friend.” A noise from the stairs grabbed her attention. “Oh, here they are. Hank, do you have your camera?”

  He held it out. “Right here, Abigail.” He rolled his eyes at the boys. “She always thinks I’m going to forget.”

  “That’s because you always do, unless I remind you,” Mrs. Brewster retorted. “Smile, girls! Dad has a camera, and he knows how to use it.”

  Totally relieved to have the attention off him, Ruark checked out the girls. Shan was cute in her emerald green dress and her make up looked good. Having a mom who was a beauty queen definitely put a check in the plus side of the box. Priscilla Cooke was wearing a god-awful, pink on steroids satin thing. She’d applied the make up with a heavy hand, and the pink eye shadow she wore made her look like one hot, tranny, vampire mess. He couldn’t bear to check out her shoes. Josslyn Mills had stuck with a little black dress and it looked good on her. Simple, great lines, none of the frilly crap that teen girls thought they needed on a party frock. Her black patent stilettos worked well with the dress—so fierce!

  Then came Cecily, wearing this sparkly, cracked out flapper dress. Or was it supposed to be a gladiator dress? There was fringe. It was a flapper costume. There wasn’t a single swatch of cloth that didn’t look like Tinkerbell had designed it and a unicorn had farted glitter all over it. The same went for the shoes. Though gold, they looked just like a red sparkly pair Shanna used when they were kids and playing The Wizard of Oz.

  Tim Gunn would be very concerned.

  Ruark Logan merely felt miserable embarrassment. Why couldn’t Josslyn be the one who wanted to date him? She, at least, knew what not to wear.

  She’d probably be the only one at Addington High who’d figure out he was gay.

  Nevertheless, he took Cecily’s hand as she came down the stairs. “You look very pretty,” he lied as he held out the corsage box, opened it, then slipped the flowers onto her wrist. It looked stupid against the dress. What wouldn’t?

  “Thank you.” She admired tight red, baby rosebuds before pinning a yellow rose boutonniere on his lapel. Wrinkling her nose, she murmured, “Let’s go. The sooner we get the pictures done, the better. Dad’s kind of a dork.”

  “He seems pretty cool.” At least he wasn’t a crook like Ruark’s dad.

  “Well, anyway, I’m excited to get to the dance.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the fireplace where the kids were gathering for a group photo. “It’s gonna be so much fun.” They took their places with the other kids.

  Mr. Brewster grinned and aimed. “Say cheese!”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Ainslie looked at her watch. The dance had started, but the only kids there were obviously freshman. No sign of Shanna and Ruark. She frowned.

  Dave came up bearing punch. He held the plastic cup out to her. “I brought you a drink. One of the chaperone duties is to make sure the kids aren’t spiking it when we aren’t looking. Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

  “The twins aren’t here yet.” Her right foot tapped in spite of her trying to keep it still.

  “They’ll be here soon. The upperclassmen usually get here a little bit later than the younger kids. They’re too cool for school.”

  She smiled wanly. “I guess.”

  Dave made her take the cup of punch. “Bottom’s up.”

  Obedient, she drank it down. Grimacing, she shuddered. “This is awful. It tastes like melted lollipops.”

  “That’s why I let you taste it.” He laughed and flinched when she punched him in the arm. “No booze?”

  “No booze.” She bit her lower lip. “Would you mind if I took a couple of minutes to check up on Patsy?” She knew she was over-protective of her babies, but she couldn’t help herself.

  “Sure, go ahead. There’s other parents here, and the rush won’t come for a while.”

  “Thanks for underst
anding.”

  He raised his hand like he was going to touch her hair, but then he didn’t. His blue eyes were soft and understanding. “No problem.”

  ****

  “Everything okay?” Dave asked Ainslie when she rejoined him.

  “Seems to be.” She craned her neck over the increasing crowd of kids.

  “They’re not here yet. Don’t worry.” He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “The older kids are only starting to get here.” A commotion off to the side of the gym caught his eye. “I’ll be right back. A couple of kids want a month of detention. Be right back.”

  ****

  “Time to party!” Alden squeezed into the limo as close to Shanna as possible. If he was trying to make Ruark crazy, he was doing a good job.

  Alden pulled a flask out of his coat jacket and took a big swig. He held it out to Shanna. “Here you go, darlin’.”

  Ruark stared at Shanna while she took the flask. She blushed. He knew that she didn’t drink. She never drank.

  “Shanna, come on.”

  Alden whispered something in her ear that Ruark didn’t catch. She gave Alden a shy smile and took a sip.

  As the flask went around, every one of them took a drink. It finally got around to him. “No, thanks,” he told Priscilla, as she tried to give it to him.

  Cecily took the flask from Priscilla, her eyebrows raised at Ruark. “Not even a sip? Don’t you want to have fun?”

  Part of the truth was his new best friend. “The alcohol affects my voice. I can’t sing for days after I drink.” He left out the fact that someone was going to need to be sober if Shanna was going to be stupid.

  She pouted. “Your loss.” She took a big drink.

  The booze went around a couple more times. The girls got annoyingly giggly.

  They passed around gum before they got to the dance. Alden had draped his arm over Shanna’s shoulders, continually whispering stuff in her ear. From the adoring look on Shanna’s face, she was buying every word of it.

  Ruark flinched when Cecily rubbed against him. God.

  What a nightmare.

  ****

  “Hey, you’re here!” Andi came up to Ainslie and gave her a quick hug. “Don’t you just love chaperoning dances?”

  “I didn’t see you come in,” Ainslie said. “Where’s Mike?”

  “Oh, he’s in his office getting his speech ready.” Andi patted a hair back into its place in her French twist. “Homecoming Dance is the big event for the football program. Between you and me,” Andi smiled confidentially, “Mike hates it because he has to make this presentation.”

  “When does that happen?”

  “At 9:30 when he has to announce the Homecoming King and Queen.”

  “Who picks them?”

  “The student body votes on it.” Andi stood on tiptoes, smiled and waved. “Here’s Mike now. Maybe we can get a head’s up on who won.”

  “Hey, Spud.” Mike kissed his wife on the top of her head and totally messed up the hairs Andi had moved into place just a couple of minutes ago. “Ainslie,” he said over Andi’s head, “Dave around?”

  “I think he made a trip to the men’s room. Seems someone saw smoke coming from underneath the door.”

  Mike shook his head. “Kids are so stupid. If they’d put something along the edge of the door, no smoke would have escaped.”

  “Got a history with that, coach?” Andi gave Mike a little hip check.

  “Never! Remember I was an altar boy. I was a perfect kid.”

  Ainslie smiled at the two of them and glanced at the gym entrance for what felt like the millionth time.

  Hallelujah! Shanna and Ruark were at the door with their dates. They looked so wonderful, so beautiful, to her. Her eyes welled up.

  Shanna’s date wore a dark blue jacket that looked near to bursting, he was so muscular. Handsome in a football player kind of way, Alden certainly was solicitous toward Shanna, who wore a happy smile and sparkly eyes.

  Ruark didn’t look as excited. In fact he looked like he was at a root canal instead of a dance, but he was so handsome in that gray suit. She had to admit Cecily’s dress was, uh, well, unfortunate.

  Ruark glanced over at Ainslie and gave her a smile. He might have crossed his eyes at her, but she couldn’t tell because of the distance.

  “Those are very handsome children you have, Mrs. Logan,” Dave murmured from behind her.

  She turned to face him. “All clear on the bathroom front?”

  He sighed. “I wish. We’ll have to monitor it in shifts, as usual.” Dave scanned the dancers, then looked at his watch. “Looks like the gang’s all here.” He turned to Mike. “Ready to make the big announcement?”

  Mike nodded. “Let’s do it.”

  The two walked over to the mic stand. Andi watched them go. “No matter the year, there’s always a girl who is so disappointed. Mike hates that.” She tapped her foot in time to the music. “I wish they’d just stop this stupid homecoming queen and king thing. The competition brings out the worst in the girls. Of course,” she said, “the same could be said about the competition among the girls over the lead role in the musical.”

  “Being a former Miss South Carolina, I can’t say that I don’t enjoy all the spectacle and glamour, even at this age, but you’re right about how it puts the girls in competition.” Ainslie did know from experience that girls could be really vicious.

  But deep down, she was a born and bred Dixie debutante and loved the rituals that came with crowning a homecoming king and queen.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cecily grabbed Ruark’s hand. “I hope it’s us.”

  “Us what?” Ruark wanted to politely extricate his hand from Cecily’s, but she had a grip like an anaconda.

  “The Homecoming Queen and King. I hope we win.”

  “I didn’t know we were in the running.” Please, kill me now.

  “I put our names on the ballot during the spirit week kick-off pep rally.” She bounced on the tips of her rhinestone and gold stiletto sandals.

  Ruark longed for a fork so he could poke his own eyes out. Homecoming King? Absolutely no way. Though, in other circumstances, being crowned Homecoming Queen might be kinda fun. This was, however, not other circumstances.

  Mr. Mason was doing the talking, and Ruark glanced over to where his mother stood. She looked at Mr. Mason as if he hung the moon. He was pretty sure she’d never looked at his father that way. And, if Ruark could see how much his mom liked Mr. Mason, then the whole school should be able to see it.

  He wanted to puke. He loved his mom, he wanted her to find a good man. Just not Mr. Mason. He hated seeing her with him. The whole thing drove Ruark crazy.

  He felt Cecily clutch his hand, her gold sparkly acrylic nails biting little crescent shaped grooves into his palm. Hopefully, she wasn’t going to draw blood.

  Coach Kelly read off a piece of paper. “Best game in years,” “worked really hard,” “kept their eyes on the prize,” blah, blah, blah.

  Then he said, “It’s time to announce the Homecoming King and Queen.”

  Cecily looked like she was going to spontaneously combust right there. Just up and go boom. Flame on!

  Coach Kelly handed a paper to Mr. Mason. Unfolding it, Mr. Mason smiled and said, “Let’s give a hearty cheer for this year’s Homecoming King and Queen, Alden Bradford and Shanna Logan!”

  Wild clapping and whistling burst from the kids as Alden helped Shanna up onto the platform where Mr. Mason and Coach Kelly stood. Ms. Plunkett, a math teacher, also came forward with the chest banners, a crown, and a tiara. She handed them to Dave, who did the coronation honors.

  Ruark glanced at Cecily, all set to say “better luck next time.” On second thought, he figured that might be the wrong thing to say to a girl who looked ready to rip someone’s lungs out of her throat.

  Watching Cecily, he saw her literally pull herself together and fix a fake toothy smile on her face, she turned to him. “Aren’t you excited! Your siste
r is Homecoming Queen!”

  He glanced toward his sister and her date. Shanna and Alden were holding court. Alden held her too tight against him, to Ruark’s way of thinking. That was so not okay and had to stop. “Sure, let’s go congratulate them.”

  “Why not?” Cecily grabbed his hand again and pulled him along like he was a little kid crossing the street. The kids parted to let Cecily drag him by, just like Moses parting the Red Sea.

  One hapless kid stopped her and asked how excited she was for Shanna. Raurk had never heard a girl growl before.

  He just wanted to get his sister home and away from Alden Bradford and his magic flask.

  Shanna saw them, her smile huge, her happiness palpable. She threw herself into Cecily’s rather stiff arms. “Omigawd, I’m so surprised.”

  Cecily pulled away and checked her manicure. “I guess you’re wearing a lucky dress.” She tossed her hair back. “I was Homecoming Queen last year wearing a dress just like that.”

  Ruark watched as a little bit of Shanna’s exuberance popped like a bubble, confronted with Cecily’s cattiness. He pried Shanna away from Cecily and gave his sister a hug. “Way to go, Shan. You’re really pretty tonight. Momma must be proud as can be.”

  Cecily grabbed his arm again. “Let’s dance.”

  Ruark did as he was told.

  ****

  Tears of joy formed in Ainslie’s eyes. She brushed them away, making sure she didn’t smudge her mascara all over her face. Her little girl being crowned Homecoming Queen. Ainslie’s southern belle, beauty-pageant-lovin’ heart melted like butter in the sun. She tried to catch Shanna’s eye, but it didn’t happen. Shanna was surrounded by her friends, both male and female.

  Alden was holding onto her girl a bit more closely than Ainslie was comfortable with. It set her spidey senses tingling, as one of Ruark’s comic book heroes would say. She’d ask Dave and Mike about Alden. She probably should have before she let Shanna go out with him.

  Something else to feel guilty for.