Wild On My Mind

by Laurel Kerr

  Chapter 7

  Bowie recognized Katie’s officious knock before she burst into his office. Over the last two weeks, he’d never known what to expect when she dropped by the zoo at times other than the routine hours she spent with the cubs each night. For some reason that escaped Bowie, she’d taken an honest interest in the place. Even better, she possessed excellent instincts for marketing and fund-raising. He never would have thought of half her ideas for using social media.

  And then there was the sex. The incredible, rock-your-world, explosive sex.

  Given the way they’d been going after each other as if it was the seasonal rut, Bowie thought the white-hot, frenzied passion would have mellowed.

  It hadn’t.

  If anything, the intensity had increased. The creativity certainly had. They had found a use for just about every surface in his office. When Bowie discovered that any move requiring strength provoked an enthusiastic response from Katie, he used that knowledge to his full advantage. He’d lost count of how many times he’d taken her against the wall, her amazing legs wrapped around him.

  “Great news,” Katie told him brightly. “Website traffic is way up, and we’ve gotten over a hundred new followers on Twitter just this week alone.”

  “Ah, that’s good,” Bowie managed. His mind hadn’t completely switched its focus away from images of Katie crying out as he moved inside her.

  “I posted a story about Lulubelle’s love troubles on Facebook last night. It’s already gotten tons of likes and a decent number of shares, and the page views are the best they’ve been except when we posted the pirate video.”

  Thoughts of sex gone, Bowie straightened in his chair. “Really? That’s great.”

  “I talked to the Prairie Dog Café. They recently hired me to redesign their menu, and I suggested that they name some of their dishes after the animals in the zoo and include pictures of each critter. Karen Montgomery loves the idea, as long as you include a link to their restaurant on your website.”

  “That’s awesome! Every time I go to the Prairie Dog, I see a bunch of tourists from Rocky Ridge National Park. How do you keep wrangling so much support for the zoo?”

  Katie shot him a cheese-eating grin. “I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be.”

  A warmth—gentler and calmer than the molten lust she generally inspired—spread through him. Her smile had a tendency to do that.

  “Thank you.” Even to his own ears, Bowie’s voice sounded husky. Katie’s brown eyes softened, but just for a fleeting moment. Almost instantly, she turned all business again. Not for the first time, a sense of foreboding slipped through Bowie like a cougar stalking its prey. The physical part of his relationship with her was terrific, but every time he attempted to be remotely affectionate, she pulled back.

  “Speaking of publicity,” Katie said, “we’re getting a lot of comments on the zoo’s social media outlets. The most popular inquiry is the topic of your next video.”

  Unfortunately, that no longer surprised Bowie. Within days after posting the pirate video, the zoo had received countless emails and even a few calls. Over the last couple of days, they’d experienced a spike in visitors. The only drawback was that people, especially women, kept coming up to talk to him. Before the marketing campaign, he’d occasionally received questions about the animals, but visitors had never asked him anything personal. Now, adults wanted to know all about him, especially if he was single or in a relationship.

  At first, he hadn’t known how to respond. Part of him felt flattered, but mostly his recent celebrity discomforted him. For the past decade, he’d led a very quiet life. Even before that, he’d always lived on the periphery with the sole exception of when he’d hung out with Sawyer.

  But Bowie couldn’t deny that his newfound fame helped the zoo. The local news planned to come next week to do a story on the cougar cubs and on Pirate Day. He just needed to figure out how to translate his internet notoriety into cash, especially since he doubted the buzz would last much longer.

  “I’ve been thinking of ways that we could use my stunts to get people more engaged with the zoo itself,” he said. “I know our deal is that you come up with the ideas, but would you be okay if we posted two options for the next video and people voted on their favorite?”

  “I think that’s a great idea. I was actually going to tell you that you’re off the hook…at least as far as I’m concerned. I think you should do more zany stuff to keep interest up, but it’s your call. I’ll volunteer regardless.”

  Bowie straightened in his chair as he watched Katie carefully. Something shifted inside him, relieving a pressure he’d tried to ignore. “I’m forgiven then?”

  She shrugged. “That was high school. This is now. Besides, I think we’ll have more fun if we come up with the fund-raising ideas together.”

  It didn’t escape his notice that Katie had dodged his actual question. Some of the heaviness returned. At least she seemed willing to move beyond his juvenile stupidity.

  Bowie genuinely enjoyed Katie’s company, even when they did nothing but brainstorm about zoo promotions. Although Lou had a wealth of veterinary knowledge, even he freely admitted he didn’t have a head for business. Gretchen had balanced the books, and the zoo had limped along. After her death, Bowie had figured out the finances and managed to keep the whole damn thing from folding. Now, he actually had a chance to raise capital for improvements. It helped having someone like Katie whose brain just seemed hardwired for marketing.

  “I actually have a plan in mind,” he said. “What if we filmed one of the videos live at an event even bigger than what we’re planning for Pirate Day? It might take more coordination, but I think if it’s done right, the zoo could bring in a lot of money. We could even coordinate it with the cubs’ public debut.”

  “Ooo, I like that idea. Maybe we could throw a little festival. We could ask local vendors to set up booths.”

  “I drew up some ideas and did preliminary budgeting,” Bowie said as he went to pull up the file on his computer. He’d been reading through grant criteria before Katie’s entrance, which reminded him of the other thing he wanted to discuss with her.

  “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping me brainstorm for another project,” he said.

  “Sure,” Katie said, brightening. “What is it?”

  “There’s a foundation that puts small zoos in contact with environmental groups looking to place abandoned animals. Their main focus is on polar bears. But the best thing about them is that they give the money before the animal arrives to help pay for the proper equipment and enclosures. This could really help rejuvenate our rescue program.”

  “I’m sensing a ‘but,’” Katie said.

  “They want community involvement, including pledges to volunteer and to contribute 25 percent of the cost. I’m putting together a proposal for an exhibit design, which is supposed to be state of the art. You need to include water features that the bears can play in and that can even be stocked with fish for them to catch. I was wondering if you could help me come up with a strategy to get support from our town.”

  “Of course,” Katie said. “I can start with the website, and we can definitely do something during Pirate’s Day and the festival—”

  Just then, without warning, the door burst open. Abby flew into the office, tears streaming down her face. Her little shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. Bowie sprang to his feet as his heart slammed into his chest. Abby didn’t cry often, and she was never prone to the dramatic.

  “What’s wrong, honey?” Bowie asked as he crossed over to her. Abby only shook her head helplessly as sobs choked her.

  Frantic with worry, he crouched beside her to check for injuries. He didn’t observe any. She launched herself at him, burying her face against his chest.

  “Are you hurt?” he asked, cradling her. Abby shook her head, her wet cheeks soaking
his shirt. Running his hand gently down her hair, Bowie tried to soothe her. Right now, she seemed as vulnerable as a frightened chinchilla.

  “What happened, Abby Bear?” he asked, using his nickname for her.

  “They.” Sob. “Clarissa.” Sob. “So mean.” Sob. “Laughed at me.” Sob. “Awful.”

  Okay, that didn’t help Bowie. At least, he could rule out catastrophic injury. He’d heard Clarissa’s name before. She was in Abby’s class and led a group of girls who picked on his daughter.

  He knew from experience that when Abby became this distraught, it was best just to let her cry it out. Now that he knew she wasn’t in danger, he could wait to ask questions. All he could do was hold his daughter, even if every sob tore at him. He hated when his kid hurt, especially when he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

  Remembering Katie’s presence in the room, he turned his head. Since he and Abby blocked the only exit, she’d moved to the farthest corner. Katie was studying the blank wall with great interest, but she must have felt his gaze. When she turned, their eyes locked, and she sent him a concerned, questioning look. He gave a slight shake of his head to indicate that he didn’t fully understand the source of Abby’s tears.

  Finally, after a few minutes, Abby’s sobs subsided enough to allow her to speak coherently. Bowie pulled back and wiped away some of his daughter’s tears.

  “Tell me what’s wrong, Abby Bear,” he said, keeping his voice soft and comforting. Abby swiped at her nose, and Bowie dug into the pocket of his jeans for a tissue. Life as a single dad had taught him to always keep a few handy. Abby took it and blew noisily.

  “Clarissa, Monica, and Gabby were talking about me during recess today,” Abby got out before her face crumpled again.

  “Did they say something to hurt you?” Bowie asked.

  Abby sucked in her bottom lip in an attempt not to cry. She nodded solemnly. Bowie waited patiently until she gathered herself.

  “They pretended not to see me. They said I was so ugly that I couldn’t be your daughter, ’cause everyone says you’re so handsome.” Abby’s words came out in a jumbled rush before she pierced him with a pained look in her gray eyes. “Is it true? You aren’t my real dad?”

  Anger, disgust, and a little disbelief warred inside Bowie. He ached for his daughter and wished he could do something, anything, to stop Clarissa’s bullying. But what could he do? At least the end of the school year was only a little over a week away.

  “None of what they said is true,” Bowie said. “I am definitely your father.” He had the DNA results to prove it. He’d needed them during his custody case, not that he would reveal that to Abby. Even without the genetic proof, Abby looked like a blend of him and Sawyer. True, she had more of Sawyer’s delicate features, but she had his coloring, smile, and laugh.

  “But I’m ugly!” Abby wailed.

  “Abby Bear, you’re not ugly. You’re very pretty, and you’re going to grow up to be a beautiful young woman.”

  To Bowie’s surprise, Abby struggled out of his embrace. “That’s not true! You’re lying. Are you lying about everything?”

  Bowie’s heart broke at the raw anguish in his daughter’s voice. He reached out to touch her, but she darted away. He wished like hell he knew what to say to her. He hated that these girls made her doubt herself to the point that she questioned her relationship with him. Worse, he had no idea how to break through the irrational wall of pain surrounding his kid.

  Suddenly, he felt Katie kneel beside him. She grabbed Abby gently by the shoulders.

  “Abby,” she said in a soft but no-nonsense voice, “look at me.”

  Watery-eyed, Abby complied.

  “Do you think I’m ugly?” Katie asked.

  Abby shook her head.

  “I used to think I was ugly,” Katie said.

  That appeared to shock Abby out of her crying as she stared transfixed at Katie. Bowie, however, felt worse. He hoped like hell that Katie didn’t tear up too.

  “Do you know why I used to think I was ugly?”

  Abby shook her head again, her gray eyes wide.

  “Because kids at school told me that. They told me over and over and over again until I believed it. And you know what? I let them convince me of that for years.”

  Bowie now felt like complete and utter shit. Although he didn’t know if he’d ever directly called Katie ugly, his pranks certainly would have made her feel that way. Hell, one Halloween, he, Sawyer, and her friends all wore Ronald McDonald or Little Orphan Annie wigs. Since Katie was the only curly-haired redhead in the school, everyone knew who they were mocking. Although that particular idea had been Sawyer’s, Bowie had put on the damn wig.

  Intellectually, Bowie had always known that he’d hurt Katie. He’d regretted his actions for a long time. But it was one thing to think about it in the abstract and another to hear it from a woman he cared about. Worse, just as with Abby, he couldn’t fix the problem. Not only had it happened years ago, but he couldn’t very well kick his own ass.

  “But…but you’re pretty,” Abby protested. “Why would they make fun of you?”

  “Because kids can be mean,” Katie said simply. “Some of them do it because they’re not happy with themselves. Others may be jealous. And sometimes, people are just cruel.”

  “But I’m weird,” Abby said. “I’m not like everyone else.”

  Katie gave her a kind smile. “Thank goodness for that. We’re all a little unique. Even the girls who make fun of you are different. The trick isn’t to hide it or be embarrassed by it. You need to make it work for you.”

  Abby cocked her head and watched Katie intently. “Were you really unpopular?”

  “I was called Katie Underwear since first grade. When I went on a high-school ski trip, someone sneaked into my room and changed the wake-up alarm so that I got left at the lodge. A couple of popular kids once marked their cheeks with the school letters in face paint and asked me if I wanted one on mine too. They drew a pig’s face instead with permanent marker. When I tried out for a school play, they switched the name in the script with the nickname of the high school mascot to trick me into confessing true love to a horned toad.”

  Abby’s mouth formed an O, and Bowie’s gut clenched with guilt. Other than the Underwear appellation and the redheaded wigs, he’d engineered every one of those pranks. Sawyer had loved his ideas. He remembered her clapping her hands in delight when he came up with a scheme. Guys in their group would slap him on the back while the girls laughed. For once in his life, he’d belonged somewhere. Yet, he knew, as soon as he stopped entertaining them, he’d go back to being the white-trash nobody. That didn’t make what he did right. Hell, it probably made everything more despicable, because he’d known it was wrong.

  “I won’t sugarcoat it, Abby,” Katie continued. “School can be hard. What Clarissa and her friends said was horrible, but don’t let them define you. Your dad loves you, and there’s no doubt that you’re his daughter. You have his eyes.”

  “I do?” Abby asked.

  Katie nodded. “And he’s also right about your looks. You have very pretty features.”

  “But I don’t feel pretty,” Abby protested.

  “Have you ever tried?” Katie asked.

  Abby frowned and pondered this for a moment. Then, slowly, she shook her head. “You can’t be pretty by just feeling pretty.”

  “I’m not talking about physical appearance. There have been plenty of women throughout history who led people because they were amazing, not because of how they looked or how they dressed.”

  “Really?” Abby sounded skeptical.

  “Eleanor Roosevelt, for one. Harriet Tubman, Justices Sandra Day O’Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I could give you a whole list.”

  “Are you saying if I’m confident, I’ll be popular?”

  “Not necessarily…at least not rig
ht away,” Katie said. “But if you have strength of character, you will draw people to you.”

  “Do you think I could grow up to be like you?”

  Katie smiled fondly at Abby. “I think you will grow up to be a wonderful woman and completely your own person.”

  Abby launched herself at Katie. Nearly caught off-balance, Katie reflexively caught her. At first, Katie seemed unsure, but then she relaxed into the embrace. A tremulous smile stretched across Abby’s face, and in the curl of her lips, Bowie detected a glint of belief in herself.

  A band formed around Bowie’s throat. Abby had always been on the fringes at school, but this past year had been incredibly tough. More than once, she’d cried herself to sleep after Bowie had failed to console her. He hadn’t known what to say to convince her that things would be okay. He certainly didn’t have any advice on how to deal with a mean-girl clique. He’d read a few articles online for single dads, but they hadn’t helped.

  Katie’s words had. With middle school and high school looming, Bowie knew there would be other cruel words and disappointments. But he also had no doubt that Katie’s words had resonated with Abby…and they’d impacted him too.

  Even in high school, Bowie had respected Katie’s inner strength when she hadn’t broken under their pranks. But tonight, after watching Katie comfort Abby, his admiration soared. It took self-assurance and a kind heart to share past humiliations, especially in front of the guy who’d masterminded them. Katie was an amazing woman.

  Abby sniffed and beamed up at Katie. “Would you like to come to dinner? Dad doesn’t mind, do you?”

  No, he didn’t, but from the nonplussed look on Katie’s face, she very well might. And, damn, if that didn’t cause an unwelcome twinge of hurt. Did she seriously have that deep an aversion to a committed relationship, or did her refusal have more to do with him?

  “Katie is definitely welcome, but she might already have plans,” Bowie said, giving her an out. He wasn’t going to coerce the woman into having dinner with him.

  Abby’s face fell, and Katie visibly caved. “Dinner sounds nice.”