by C. J. Corbin
I nodded and settled back down with my head in his lap.
He blew out a deep breath again and continued. Margaret had taken the miscarriage badly so any thoughts of splitting up or leaving were out of the question. By this time at the aquarium, Michael had a permanent job and they were living in a small apartment in Seaside. Two years later, Margaret announced she was pregnant again in the spring, and Katy arrived the following January.
“She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Long fingers and long toes with her delightful eyes, I couldn’t believe how alert she was when she was born.” Michael was staring off into space with a soft smile remembering Katy’s birth. “She was all little girl when she was small too.” He chuckled, “She hated for her hands to be dirty, and we never had any problem getting her to take a bath.”
Then two years later Tammy was born. This was the point that Michael started to travel for photography jobs. Margaret was not happy with the traveling he did but she enjoyed the extra money that it brought in, especially when they were able to buy a house and a new car.
When they weren’t physically apart, they started drifting mentally apart. He was engrossed with growing his photography business and raising his daughters and he did not pay much attention to Margaret.
Michael raked his hand through his hair, “I’ve replayed our whole relationship over and over the past several years. I know it was mostly my fault because I was not there emotionally for Margaret, I didn’t want to be.” He sighed heavily, “We had nothing in common, no bonds, only the children, and Margaret was not happy about having to take care of them while I was traveling. She was under the impression that I was living the high life when I was away.” He snorted, “She didn’t realize or refused to recognize that I lived out of tents and sleeping bags. It was definitely not glamorous, it still isn’t. What got me was that she was the one who had wanted children right away, yet when she finally had them she couldn’t be bothered.”
When Michael first found evidence of Margaret’s infidelities, he ignored it. He refused to consider she was having an affair. True, they were intimate less and less. Even after she started taking birth control pills, he wanted to believe her excuses that she was tired or not feeling well.
“I was stupid,” Michael exhaled. He had been running his fingers through my hair while he spoke. “And, finally I didn’t want to take it anymore. I’ve asked myself many times if I ever really loved her.”
I opened my eyes wide and looked at him shocked that he would have considered the possibility. “And, did you come up with an answer?” I hesitated asking.
He nodded. “Yes. I have my answer now.”
I grew quiet and sat up. “Kevin told me when I left him that he never loved me.”
He pursed his lips together and raised my hands to his lips. “That hurt you didn’t it?”
I nodded, “At first I didn’t believe him. However, I do now. I don’t know why he married me though, if he didn’t love me. That’s why people get married isn’t it?”
Slowly placing a soft kiss on my hands he said, “Not always, Elizabeth.”
He pulled me into his arms and held me against him. We stopped talking and looked for the eagles.
The eagles did return to their nest and both of us took our cameras out. Michael took pictures of the eagles, and I took pictures of him. We were both happy to be working together.
He convinced me to stay with him that night. He would be gone on the whale migration expedition until Sunday. Tammy and her mother went out to dinner so we had the house to ourselves. After making love, we lay intertwined and murmured sweet nothings.
We heard Tammy and Margaret come into the house.
Michael held my face between his hands, “I don’t want you to let Margaret get to you while I’m gone, okay?” I nodded and he brushed his lips against mine softly. “Remember I love you and it’s you I want to be with.”
The following morning I awoke while Michael was getting ready to leave. I padded out to the kitchen and found Tammy already with the coffee on. I poured Michael and myself cups. Tammy handed me the front-page section of the newspaper while she ate her toast.
“Your mom not up yet?” I asked.
“No, she usually likes to sleep late.”
I nodded adding extra cream to my coffee because Tammy had made it strong. “I was thinking about going down to see your great-grandmother on Friday afternoon, before Katy arrives. Would you like to go with me?”
Tammy looked up from her paper, “Yeah that would be good. I talked to Great-grandma yesterday and she was complaining that no one was visiting her. It would give her something to look forward to.”
“Would your mom like to come along with us?” This was my attempt to reach out to Margaret one more time.
“I don’t know. I’ll ask her.” Tammy said.
Michael came into the kitchen and I handed him his cup of coffee.
“Thanks Babe.” He sat down between us and she handed him the sports section.
She rose and grabbed her book bag. Bending over she kissed him on the cheek. “Be careful Dad. Have a good trip.”
He smiled and hugged her around the waist. “Will do honey. See you on Sunday.”
Tammy touched me on the shoulder. “I already fed the dogs.”
I smiled, “Thanks. I’ll run them this morning.”
She nodded and with a quick “Bye,” she left for school.
“Well, she was a little frosty to you this morning.” Michael commented.
“Actually she’s warmed up a little. I know it’s hard for her to be caught between her mother and me.” I said.
“Margaret can be very persuasive, but Tammy is a bright girl.” He drank down the last of his coffee. “I’m loading the jeep, I’ll be right back, meet me in the bedroom.”
Michael met me in his bedroom a few minutes later. He slipped my robe off and let it drop to the floor before wrapping his arms around me. “I just wanted to feel you naked before I left.”
I laughed, “Hey no fair. What about me?”
He leaned in for a kiss, “If I only had time.”
His kiss was deep and lingering. I wanted to drag him over to the bed, but knew that wouldn’t happen, so instead I was content to rub myself against him. His hands cupped my butt and lifted me up. We both groaned into each other’s mouths and then laughed, parting reluctantly.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
After Michael left, I took all four dogs for a run. When we arrived back at the house, Margaret was in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. I considered making a fresh pot of coffee, but when I saw her, the thought left my mind.
Margaret turned to look at me when I walked in with the dogs. “Good morning.” I said without warmth or sincerity in my voice.
“Well, good morning. I suppose we’re alone in the house. Isn’t this cozy?” She said.
“No, actually I find it quite awkward.”
“I wonder why that is? Could it be that you don’t belong here?” She said slyly. “I mean, this really isn’t your house is it? You and Michael have just started dating haven’t you, yet you walk around here as if you are his wife.”
I simply looked at her not believing my ears. This woman definitely had audacity.
Margaret continued, “You know Elizabeth, you are not marriage material for Michael, so don’t think you’re ever going to go down that aisle.” She laughed at her own pun. “I’ve heard that you can’t have children.”
She was good. Somehow, she knew which words would hurt me the most. Margaret plunged her words into my heart and twisted them like a sharpened knife. Peering carefully at my face, she was judging my reaction to her words. I tried to mask my face, my eyes, but wasn’t able to master that even after all these years. I could not speak to defend myself.
“Our babies created a bond between us. That bond is deep and no one can ever sever it. This is something that you’ll never have with Michael. If you knew anything at all about him you wo
uld know it is his love for his children that drives him.”
Her murder of me was nearing completion. Of course, she did not stop there, because her delivery of the coup de grâce was still to come.
“Oh Elizabeth, I’m so glad that we’re able to talk. Please don’t be upset by what I’m telling you, it’s only the truth and I’m trying to save you from being hurt down the line.”
“So you’re saying all this for my benefit?” How should I respond to this woman?
She smiled, her eyes gleaming with insincerity, “Yes, Elizabeth because you deserve to be warned. Michael will use you for a little while and then when he gets tired of you and he always does, well then you’ll be left with nothing because you can’t give him what he truly wants.”
I could feel my breath catching in my throat. I had a horrible flight impulse to escape her devastating words. I looked toward the back door and knew I had to escape or I would break down and cry. I did not want to cry in front of her.
“You’ll have to excuse me, but I need to get to work. I will take the dogs with me so they won’t be in your way.” I stumbled over the words as I made my way to the door.
Again, her smile reminded me of a cat in front of a bowl of cream.
“You do that.” She said.
I took a deep breath as I stepped outside hoping that it would help clear my head. It did not. Somehow, I managed to get back to my cabin as the tears had already begun to spill down my cheeks. Once inside the house I made my way to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed with my box of Kleenex and four dogs. I blew my nose and looked around the bed. There really was not enough room on my bed for four dogs and me. I rolled my eyes at the situation. At least the dogs wanted to be with me. Yes, I know they really loved me for the snacks I always dropped for them.
Pulling myself together, I still managed to write most of the day. I even worked a bit on the eagle book too, knowing that Michael would be pleased with my progress when he arrived home. This is not to say that I completely forgot what Margaret had said to me in the kitchen. No, the words still stung because I was afraid she spoke the truth. I did not know what I was worried about though, because Michael and I weren’t anywhere near a serious relationship. Okay, I admitted I loved him and then he felt honored bound to tell me the same thing. I resolved to enjoy him as long as he wanted my company. Who knew, if our relationship didn’t work out maybe we could still work together.
Tammy came by around dinnertime to collect the dogs. She invited me to join her and her mother for dinner. I politely declined letting her know I wanted to finish the chapter I was working on. Tammy nodded at me and then said that her mother would be joining us on our trip to see Great-grandmother Helen. I nodded back hoping she didn’t see me grimace because the last thing I now wanted was to be on a car trip with Margaret. Yippee.
Instead of finishing the chapter, I went for a long run. The run helped me think. All day Margaret and her hateful words had been stewing in the back of my head. Running as a replacement for punching her was a good option.
After showering and putting on a nightgown, I looked at my bed. It did not look inviting. I thought of Michael’s bedroom and of his bed. His bed sounded like a better choice. Besides, I reasoned with myself, I didn’t have my dogs here. I slipped into my robe and slippers.
The house was quiet when I entered. Margaret’s car was gone. It appeared that she and Tammy must have gone out for dinner. I remembered Michael telling me that Margaret did not cook and ate out often. The dogs greeted me at the door. I hurriedly went to Michael’s room and unlocked the door. The dogs followed me and bounded on the bed. Yes, I had made the correct choice.
I crawled into the bed and curled up to Michael’s pillows. Something was not right, the bed felt wrong. I lay there a few minutes and then grinned. I pulled back the covers and took off my nightgown. Yes, that was better I said to myself after cuddling back up to the pillows.
My hands felt something under the pillow. “What is this?” I said aloud while sitting up. Turning the light on, I pulled out a sealed envelope. I recognized Michael’s handwriting with my name scrawled across the front.
Inside was a handwritten note from Michael, which read, “Babe, if you’re reading this note then I know you’re sleeping in my bed. I love you for being a strong woman. I’ll see you on Sunday and I will miss you every moment I’m away. Love, Michael. P.S. I have left a few other notes for you in the bedroom. I hope you find them.”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reread the note several times. The tears fell freely because there was no reason to hold them back. How did he always know how to do just the right thing for me? I dried my eyes and put my robe on. Where would he hide notes for me? How many were there?
There was a knock on the bedroom door, the dogs ran over and snuffled at the bottom of the door. “Come in.” I called.
Tammy poked her head in, “I saw a light. I hope I’m not bothering you, but I wanted to check on the dogs.”
“Come on in Tammy.”
She entered the room and saw the envelope and note I held in my hand. Tammy smiled, “Did Dad leave you some notes to find?”
I nodded with a question on my face, “How did you know?”
She smiled again, “Oh, he used to do that with Katy and I whenever he left on a trip. It was always great fun for us. He’d leave trinkets or money in the envelopes too, and we’d tear the house apart looking for the notes. He hasn’t done that in a while for us, at least not at this house. He would always leave clues for us. It was like a mini-treasure hunt. Would you like some help finding them? I’m good at deciphering his clues.”
“Okay, thanks.” I said nodding enthusiastically.
“Good. Let me see the first note, if that’s okay. Was it hiding under your pillow?”
I nodded again and handed her the note. She read it and said, “Okay, this is the first one and it’s not numbered, so it won’t be part of the note total.”
“The note total?” I questioned.
“You’ll see. The notes are all located in the bedroom, because that’s the room he is mentioning in the first note, which can include Dad’s office, bathroom, and closet since he considers all this his bedroom.” Tammy smiled as she explained the clues. I could tell she was enjoying herself. “Then he mentions the bed, so most likely there’s a note by the bed. Dad usually won’t leave them out in plain sight, he liked us to hunt for them, but he also wouldn’t put them in inaccessible places either.”
Both of us looked under the bed. No note. We checked on the windowsill and no luck there either. I opened the top drawer of the nightstand and there was the note. Actually, there were two envelopes, one with my name written across it and another with Tammy’s name. I handed Tammy her envelope and she took it with glee on her face.
“Oh goodie, a note for me too!” She tore the envelope open, pulled out the note, and read it aloud, “No hunt for you today my sweetest baby girl. Know that I love you more than you will ever understand and I am so very proud that you are my daughter. Love, Dad. P.S. Thank you for helping Elizabeth with her first hunt! P.P.S. Here’s something a little extra, maybe a new outfit?” Tammy pulled a fifty-dollar bill out of the envelope. “Yes!” She said excitedly. “Okay what does yours say? Oh, see there are numbers on the front.” She pointed to the numbers written under my name.
“One dash four. What do they mean?” I asked.
Tammy answered while I opened the envelope. “There will be four notes and this is the first one.”
I opened my envelope. “My fair lady, if I were there right now, I would be your shining knight and bestow a fluttering of kisses on your hand as I did in Monterey.” I blushed because I knew what the Monterey hand kisses really meant and was very glad that Tammy did not.
“Wow, there’s not much to go on there in the note, but if I were to guess…” She trailed off and opened the closet door. I had never been through Michael’s closet and didn’t feel right about it now. Tammy seemed to be quite at home t
hough. I wasn’t surprised. His closet like the rest of him was neat and tidy. His clothes all arranged by type and color made it easy to find anything. All I could think was that he would have fun organizing my closet. The flannel shirts were the most interesting hanging on the side. I couldn’t imagine Michael in them. I fingered them slowly.
Tammy opened up the middle drawer of a file cabinet tucked away in the corner and pulled out a large black notebook full of DVDs. She opened to the page that contained the My Fair Lady DVD and there was the envelope marked two dash four.
“I can’t believe it, how did you know?” I laughed taking the envelope.
Tammy grinned, “Oh, I’ve been doing this for quite a while now. I just seem to know Dad’s clues.”
“I would say so.” I tore into the envelope. “Elizabeth, my love, I love to watch pearly drops of water running down your back when you step in the shower.” I stopped reading aloud and said to Tammy, “I don’t think you need to hear any more of this.”
She giggled, “Oh it’s just Dad being romantic, it’s kind of gross, but it’s cute too. I would have never thought he could be that way. Definitely the clue leads to the bathroom though.”
I read the rest of the note silently. He wrote, “Running my mouth over your bottom, I catch the drops with my tongue as I get closer to your heat.” The room felt considerably warmer even with the window open and the cool evening breeze coming in. I was going to need a cold shower after this one.
We both went into the bathroom, there weren’t many placed to hide a note. There were no notes in the medicine cabinet or the drawers. The cabinets that held the towels did not reveal any notes either. “Wait,” I said, “if I were taking a shower, I’d need a towel.” I lifted up the top towel in the cabinet and there was the envelope underneath.
“Awesome Elizabeth, you’re getting good.” Tammy nodded.
I opened this envelope carefully not sure what would be inside. I read the note silently, “My lover, it makes me so happy that you share my passions with me. It is not only the passion that I have for your body, but my creative passion as well. I love you for sharing my eagles and the love you show for them.” I folded the note over, smiled and said, “I’m not sharing this one either. Office. It has to be something to do with the eagle pictures.”