BABY ROYAL

by Bella Grant

  A three per cent chance existed of a woman getting eclampsia and yet there I was. If there was any chance my baby might develop difficulties because of a preemie birth, then I would wait. In the hospital these past two weeks, I’d done the darnedest thing and joined an online baby support group. I’d read so many stories, the majority of them positive, but then there were the triggers of babies who should have survived and didn’t. Before my pregnancy, I had no idea of the stress women went through giving birth—the anxiety, the heart swollen with love for a life she’d not met yet except for a kick of a foot here or a there.

  “Are you okay, dear?”

  I was wrenched from my thoughts by my dad’s voice as he walked into the hospital room. He looked tired and drained. I kept telling him and my mom they didn’t have to visit every day but they did anyway, taking turns like I was a child under vigil.

  “As okay as I can be,” I answered, giving him a reassuring smile. My back ached and the baby sat awkwardly, bulging to one side of my stomach, but we were both alive and I was thankful for that.

  “Do you need anything before I go?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He nodded but instead of leaving, he approached the bed and enveloped me in a hug that nearly set off the waterworks. With an affectionate pat on my back, he left.

  I sank back against the pillows when he left. Briefly, I contemplated calling Lucas back and this time, saying everything I had to say about the baby, why I lied, and how I felt about him. With a sigh, I placed the phone on the small bedside table and started flipping through the television stations. I stopped at the games channel and got carefully out of bed, moving slowly toward the private bathroom. I’d found if I moved slowly I didn’t get dizzy.

  I took more than twice the amount of time I usually did to use the bathroom. My movements were sluggish, a combination of the medication I was on, the IV stand I had to drag along with me, and my bulging stomach which was stretched tight. Getting up from the toilet was an effort. Dizziness took hold of me and I closed my eyes, concentrating on my breathing until the wave passed.

  After washing my hands, I started the slow trek across the room to the bed. I was almost there when a nurse walked in, followed by Lucas. I breathed a sigh of relief that I was close to the bed and able to pull myself up onto it amidst my shock. He was here. He’d come. But half an hour had barely passed since I called him. He couldn’t have gotten here that quickly. Unless he’d already been here or on his way.

  “Miss Hoskins,” the nurse chided, hurrying over, and helped me to get my legs up on the bed. “You shouldn’t be out of bed. You had me worried when Mr. Caine reported you were missing.”

  “I had to use the bathroom,” I said softly, averting my gaze from Mr. Caine.

  “Please, Miss Hoskins, if you’d like assistance to use the bathroom, buzz one of the nurses. If you should have a seizure or a fainting spell on your way to the bathroom, you may end up with a concussion without anyone here knowing what’s wrong.”

  “Okay, I will,” I replied meekly as she fussed at the pillows. I’d always pictured hospitals as a place where the doctors and nurses were eager to get rid of you and only attended your needs when urgent. My experience there was different. Maybe it was my condition, but they were attentive, concerned, and accommodating.

  The nurse left with a warning I should use the buzzer the next time I needed assistance. Then I was left with Lucas still standing there, having not said a word up until now. I clutched the bedsheet about my waist until my knuckles were white.

  “Why?”

  I looked up at him then and saw the confusion on his face, but his question wasn’t clear. Why what? Why had I gotten pregnant? Why didn’t I tell him? Why was I in the hospital?

  I shook my head and licked my lips nervously. “Why what?”

  “Just answer whatever you think I’m asking you.” His voice was quiet with an emotion I couldn’t read. Was it anger?

  “I didn’t tell you,” I started, “because I was afraid. Afraid of your reaction. Lucas, more than once, you’ve told me how a baby would ruin our lives. You’ve asked me to take the emergency conceptive pills twice. That made your position on the matter clear.”

  “And did you?”

  “Did I what?” I knew what he was asking but I wanted him to say it out loud.

  “Did you…” He started to raise his voice before he reigned in his temper. “Did you take the pills like I asked you to or was this a ploy to deliberately get pregnant?”

  “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you,” I pointed out tiredly. “I knew the first thing you would think is that I did this deliberately. I swear to you, Lucas, I didn’t get pregnant on purpose, but it was my fault. I took the pills too late.”

  I was getting worked up and out of breath so I leaned back against the pillows and closed my eyes a bit to concentrate on my breathing again.

  “Debra, are you okay?” he asked and I opened my eyes to find he’d approached the bed and peered at me with concern.

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not,” he said gently. “Why won’t you allow the doctors to take the baby?”

  Tears filled my eyes and I answered softly. “Because I didn’t want to have the baby without you.”

  “Debra.” He reached for my hand which trembled in his. “I wish you’d told me. I waited for you for months to call and tell me the truth but you never did.”

  “You knew?” I gasped. “But how?”

  “Someone on campus realized you were pregnant and remembered your connection to me.”

  I hung my head, staring at our hands. “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it from you. My biggest fear was you thinking I did this to get your money.”

  “The thought crossed my mind,” he admitted. “In fact, when you called me, I was already on my way here. I had to find out from you what you were thinking when you chose to hide this from me.”

  I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t say anything. His thumb rubbed against the back of my hand.

  “Do you love me, Debra? Did you love me any at all?”

  “Of course I did!” I cried, not waiting a heartbeat to respond. “I do love you. I didn’t want things to end this way. I wasn’t ready for a baby, as much as you aren’t, but it happened and I love both of you.”

  “Will you let take them baby then?” he asked urgently. “You know at thirty-five weeks the baby should be fine.”

  “I will now,” I replied.

  “Good,” he said softly. “Because I can’t lose you, Debra.”

  Joy exploded through me like fireworks on July the fourth. “You mean I haven’t lost you with all the lies I told you?”

  He frowned at me hard. “When I told you I loved you before, I meant every word,” he said passionately, squeezing my hand. “I tried everything I could think of to get you out my head but I couldn’t. I love you more than you can imagine. And when your mother told me why you were here, the fear I felt for you outweighed the hurt.”

  I began to cry, sobs making my body shudder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lucas.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me into his arms. I huddled into him, placing my head on his chest, and felt truly comforted for the first time since learning I was pregnant. The burden of the secrecy melted from me, freeing me of its unsurmountable weight.

  “Shhh, don’t cry.” He kissed my forehead. “We’ll get through this and put it all behind us.”

  “There’s one thing, Lucas.” I sighed against him. “Should-should anything happen to me, I want you to promise me you’ll take care of our baby, that you’ll love him.”

  His body went rigid against mine. “Debra, don’t—”

  I eased out his arms and took his face between my hands, feeling the roughness of his five o’ clock shadow. “Don’t think about it. Just promise me.”

  His eyes were pained as he nodded. “Y
ou’re going to be fine,” he affirmed. “Do you want to move to a better hospital?”

  I shook my head and smiled at him. “I’m fine here because you’re with me.”

  I kissed his nose and his forehead before taking his lips in a sweet kiss. His lips covered mine in a familiar kiss I’d missed. And I knew this was what my body had waited for, holding on to make it right with him. As the darkness shrouded my vision, I clutched his arms, trying to stay alert, but my body shook violently against his until I could no longer feel him save for the beating of my heart.

  Lucas

  Debra’s lips feathered over mine and I deepened the kiss, my hand going to her bulging tummy where our baby lay. I still had mixed feelings about the baby. I still didn’t want a baby. I was too young to be a father. She was too young to be a mother, but she’d taken on the challenge and I owed it to her to stick by her.

  When I’d walked into her room and found her absent, I’d thought the worst, rushing to the nurse’s station and asking if they’d moved her. Where the hell was she? Her mother had scared me telling me about the risks involved with her pregnancy and the seizure she’d had because of some condition associated with her pregnancy I couldn’t even remember.

  I’d known relief when she walked in from the bathroom, and I knew then we’d wasted too much time. We had both been stubborn and foolish, had made poor decisions, but it was the time to use our wits and make this work. We loved each other. I was sure she loved me back after the talk I’d had with her mother and nothing else mattered.

  I felt the slight trembling of her body and attributed it to the effects of our kiss. I was almost trembling too as my cock strained in my pants. I couldn’t help it. She always had this effect on me and it wasn’t likely to go away because she was pregnant. When I’d walked into the room I’d thought how radiant she looked, pregnant and all. Her protruding tummy made her seem huge, her face was swollen, and she waddled, but she was beautiful.

  She shook against me more violently, her lips jerking from mine, and I pulled away in confusion. Her eyes rolled over into her head and some monitor in the room went off.

  “Debra!” I held her body, fear snaking through me that she would hurt herself. “Debra, baby please!”

  The doctors and nurses rushing into the room brought reality crashing down on me. Someone tried to pry her shaking body from my arms but I refused to let her go. I sensed if I let her go, I might never get her back.

  “Please, sir. We have to tend to her or she’ll die or end up brain damaged!”

  The words penetrated my pain and I released her to the professionals who were best able to help her.

  “Sir, you have to leave the room.” A male nurse walked over to me, blocking my view of the doctor over Debra’s body. “

  “I can’t leave her,” I insisted.

  “Please, we need to focus on her and you being here may prove a distraction. I promise, I’ll bring word as soon as we stabilize her.”

  I allowed myself to be led out of the room. “Please, don’t let her…” The lump in my throat prevented me from saying the word.

  “We’ll do everything we can. Both her life and the baby’s are our priority.”

  I slumped against the wall when the nurse returned to the room, hearing talking from inside but not able to understand what was said. I could still feel her body shaking against mine. I plunged my fingers through my hair and lowered myself to sit on the floor. Nobody would get me to leave her side for long.

  She won’t die. She cannot die, I told myself, but remembering the way she had looked with her eyes rolling over, I wasn’t very confident. Why had she asked me to take care of the baby if anything happened to her? As if she had known.

  “I can’t lose you, Debra,” I whispered painfully. “I can’t.” We needed time. Time to right the wrongs we did each other. Time to explore the depth of our love for each other. I couldn’t think about the baby in this equation. How could I? She never gave me the opportunity to watch her grow in pregnancy and bond with the child in the same way she obviously had. All my thoughts were on Debra and her pulling through this.

  I prayed and I cried and I stared vacantly at the opposite wall. I lost track of time. It could have been five minutes or an hour, I couldn’t tell. The longer I waited, the more I despaired. Even when separated, my awareness of her, even my anger, kept me going. What was I to do without her?

  The door pushed open and the doctor stepped out. I got to my feet, my mouth too dry for me to ask if she was okay.

  “You’re the visitor who was with her?” the doctor asked. “What’s your relationship to her? We have some papers to sign and her father is listed as her emergency contact.”

  “What kind of papers to sign?” I enquired, my face paling.

  “We can’t discuss the patient’s condition with you.”

  “That’s my baby she’s having,” I announced desperately. “She’s my girlfriend.”

  “You’re the baby’s father?” the doctor asked for clarification.

  “Yes, yes, I am. Lucas Caine.”

  He frowned at me. “Any relation to Gregory Caine?”

  I nodded impatiently, not seeing what any of this had to do with my relation to my father. “He’s my father. Now, back to Debra. Is she okay? What kind of papers are there to sign?”

  “I’m Doctor Francis, neurologist,” the doctor replied. “We’ve had to employ a team of doctors to deal with Debra’s condition. We’ve stabilized her. She’s had two seizures since we’ve been inside with her and we’re putting her into an induced coma until the baby is delivered. As the father, you’re able to sign the form for us to proceed with the emergency C-section.”

  “An induced coma?” My heart was numbed at the words.

  “Yes, it’ll help counter the seizures. They are triggered by her having eclampsia and the good news is this condition is associated with the pregnancy, so it’s imperative we get the baby out.”

  “I’ll sign the papers,” I confirmed. “But can someone contact her father and let him know what is going on? I don’t have his number.”

  “Right, I’ll have one of the nurse call. Follow me this way so I can give you one of those forms to fill out.”

  I signed the paper for Debra to have her C-section and was advised to stay in the waiting area. Once the procedure was complete, they would update me on Debra’s status and that of the child.

  I knew I was wrong for it, for ignoring thoughts about the child, but all I wanted was Debra well. Hell, I knew nothing about babies and being a father was scary, but not as scary as losing Debra.

  About half an hour into waiting, her father and her mother rushed into the waiting room. By Claire’s red eyes, she had been crying and Mr. Hoskins didn’t look any better either. I picked up on their body language, how he had an arm around her supportively. Were they back together? I felt even worse seeing them together. Debra and I should have the same opportunity to make things right between us.

  “Lucas, what’s happening?” Claire asked as they sat across from me. “The doctors wouldn’t say on the phone. Just that we needed to get here as soon as possible.”

  “I didn’t know you were in town,” Mr. Hoskins stated. “Did you upset her when you saw her?”

  “No, we made up,” I answered. “But then-then she had a seizure. Two seizures, the doctor said, and they’ve put her into an induced coma. I signed the papers for her to have an emergency C-section.”

  “She was against having the baby before she was full term,” her mother stated.

  “We talked about it and she said it was okay now,” I informed her. “It was so sudden. We were talking and she was fine and I kissed her. She started shaking so badly.” A sob tore from my throat. “I can’t lose her. I should have been here with her before. She shouldn’t have had to go through this alone. If not for my past actions, she wouldn’t have felt the need to keep the baby a secret.”

  Her father’s hand squeezed my knee hard. “Let’s not dwell on th
at now. Let’s keep focused on what matters, what is at stake—Debra and the baby.”

  We waited in silence, Claire and her ex-husband holding hands. We waited so long, my butt started cramping. We jumped to our feet in union when a doctor walked into the room. This doctor was different from the one who spoke with me earlier but I recognized him as the second doctor who had been in the room earlier when Debra had her seizure.

  “Dr. Howard, how is she?” both her parents asked in unison.

  “Congratulations.” Dr. Howard smiled tiredly at us. “We’ve got ourselves a healthy baby boy. We’ve checked his initial vitals which are strong. He weighs six pounds, two ounces. A nurse should be by shortly to take you to the nursery if you want to see the child.”

  “And how is Debra doing?” I asked fearfully.

  “The neurologist should be by to speak to you, but it can take twelve to seventy-two hours for her to wake from the comatose state.”

  I nodded but inside, I was devastated. Seventy-two hours before she could respond! How would I preserve my sanity during this time?

  “Ah, here’s nurse Campbell now,” Dr. Howard continued, turning to the nurse. “Nurse Campbell, see to it Miss Hoskins’ family get to see the baby.”

  “Yes, Dr. Howard.”

  I hung back as the nurse indicated for us to follow her.

  “Aren’t you coming?” Claire asked me.

  “No,” I responded in anguish. “I can’t see a baby that did this to her. I need some time.”

  “Lucas…”

  “Don’t push, Claire,” Mr. Hoskins stated and she backed down.

  I watched them walk away, eager to meet their grandchild. All I could think of was what if I lost her? A resentment I couldn’t control rose inside me. Resentment of an innocent baby that had ruined her health. What would I do with this baby without his mother?

  But you promised her. You promised her you’d take care of the baby. I couldn’t break that promise to her. Regardless of what happened to her, I had to keep my promise, no matter how difficult it might be to gaze on the child and think of her in the current state she was in.