He forced the words out of his mouth. “She hates me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“I have to go.” He dematerialized and appeared in his apartment. Valerie and Annie’s sleeping figures came into view, cuddled closely together on the couch. He stood motionless, watching them while the searing pain inside him deepened.
After Annie left, there would be no reason for Valerie to stay. As quickly as they’d been thrust into his life, they would slip away, leaving agony in their wake.
He neared, reaching for Annie. Valerie’s eyes snapped open, her palm forcefully pushed his away. A clear bubble appeared around Annie, illuminating her.
Sitting up, she rubbed her face. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize—”
“I’m glad you’re protective of her, even unconscious.”
When the bubble dissipated, he neared and lifted Annie into his arms. He then materialized in Annie’s room, tucked her into bed, and reappeared by Valerie.
“We’re taking a trip.”
Clearing her throat, she asked, “We?”
“Annie and me. I figured I’d take her to the beach…”
“Oh…” She looked away from him. “Why?”
“It’s—”
She stood. “Never mind. It’s none of my business. Have fun.”
He exhaled. When she walked past him, he summoned the courage to ask, “Would you like to come?”
She turned, then rushed to him. “Jake! You’re bleeding!” Her hands on him a second later, reaching for his shirt and lifting it to examine the injury.
When he turned to her, she was so close he felt her body heat. “Just a nick, I’m fine.”
Her eyes narrowed. “That’s a lot of blood for just a nick.”
Damn. She caught the small lie and wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t like lying to her, but didn’t think she cared one way or another, so he gave her an out. But he realized then, looking at her annoyed expression, feeling her worry, she did care. Maybe not a lot, but some. He’d take it.
He smiled, feeling more confident when he asked again, “So, would you like to come?”
Her brows furrowed. She took a step away, and he felt it, fear. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ll see you when you guys get back.”
It would kill him being so far away, but he didn’t have another choice. He’d lost Annie and had just a couple of weeks with her. He wanted to enjoy every remaining second. Where better to do that than a hotel on a beach somewhere? She could play in the sand, be carefree…His parting gift to her, memories she could cherish. The throb in his chest deepened.
Valerie wrapped her arms around herself. “When are you coming back?”
“We won’t be gone longer than two weeks.”
Her face fell, and then she looked away from him. “Have a safe trip.”
He had the urge to tell her the truth—Annie would be gone after that. She’d come, he knew, but it felt like a form of manipulation, selfishly subjecting her to a type of torture, spending countless hours and days with him, living in fear. She may care, but she wanted nothing to do with him. She made it clear their interactions should be professional—for Annie. Sharing a hotel room, spending a vacation together would blur the lines. As much as the thought pleased him, it wouldn’t her.
He nodded.
She turned away, then suddenly faced him again. “I’m…I’m sorry about yesterday. I was—”
“You were being honest.”
“But it hurt—”
“You were honest.” He looked away from her. “If you were honest, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” He wanted her to be sorry because she hadn’t meant what she said, not because he’d been hurt. He wanted her to need him like he needed her.
“There is,” she insisted. “I hurt you, and I’m sorry. You went out of your way and…”
Getting the feeling she wouldn’t let it go, he said, “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”
She held his gaze for several moments. Finally, she nodded.
It hit him at that moment; he wouldn’t see her the next day, or the day after. He didn’t know when he’d see her again. His fated would be separated from him by hundreds of miles. And yet, he couldn’t do anything but watch her walk away. He had to ensure her happiness above his own, even if it meant living without her.
Pure, undiluted agony tore through him. Torture, but he had no other choice. He had to let her go.
Chapter 20
Val barely slept, but her eyes snapped open before six the next morning. Her rambling thoughts wouldn’t give her a break.
As the night died and sunlight shone through the large windows, it hit her like a ton of bricks—Jake and Annie would be gone for weeks. She already missed them, both. A part of the reason she had a hard time falling asleep, knowing they’d be gone.
“Val?”
She walked out of her room, tightly wrapping her robe around her. Ashley and Clyde stood in the living room. “Morning.”
“Do you know where Jake and Annie are?”
Her eyes widened. Jake left so hastily, he hadn’t bothered telling Ashley? Unease crawled up her spine. “You don’t know?”
She shook her head.
“He and Annie were going on vacation.”
Ashley’s mouth fell open. “He left without you?”
Her brow furrowed. “Why would he take me?”
Ashley flushed. “Um…because you’re Annie’s nanny.”
“Yeah, but they’re on vacation. He doesn’t need a nanny. I mean he asked if I wanted to go, but I didn’t think it was a good idea.”
Clyde shook his head.
“You agree?”
“No, I don’t agree. You should’ve gone.” His tone clipped, making her feel like a scolded child. Before she could say a word, he turned to Ashley. “She doesn’t know.”
Her stomach turned. “Know what?”
“Oh,” Ashley mumbled. “Jake may lose custody of Annie.”
“W-what?” It came as such a shock she couldn’t help her voice rising. Taking a breath, she more calmly asked, “Why?”
“He’s not her only living relative. Annie’s uncle on her father’s side and his mate want custody.”
“Why?”
“Because they think they’re better suited as guardians than a…” Ashley’s voice trailed off.
Valerie didn’t miss the Elemental’s eyes watering, and it didn’t stop her from asking impatiently, “Than a what?”
“A warrior,” Clyde finished for her.
“Bullshit.” She couldn’t help that either.
Ashley gaped. Clyde’s eyes narrowed. “The demon council will decide in two weeks.”
“What does that…” She bit the side of her lip.
Jake couldn’t lose Annie. It would destroy him. He loved her so much, more than anything. Anyone could see it clearly in his eyes every time he looked at Annie. Annie eased his anger and pain. Around her, he was so much more than an angry, bitter man. He was a loving father, a caring guardian, and he was everything to Annie. If she was taken from him, her world would crumble.
She paced in circles trying to gather her thoughts. “They can’t take her away. She’s been with him for weeks. Moving her to a new environment would affect her, negatively…She’s just started to adjust and…the nightmares aren’t as bad or frequent.” She stopped, her gaze shot to Ashley then Clyde. “No, they won’t take her, right?”
“Her parents drafted a will leaving her in Jake’s care should anything happen to them. Regardless, other relatives seem to believe he’s a bad—”
“Because he’s angry. He’s not angry when she’s around. She’s the only one who calms him. He changes whenever she’s around. I mean…you’ve seen it.” She fisted her hands in frustration.
“She’s not the only one,” Clyde mumbled under his breath, his gaze dead on her.
“Oh, well, I guess he’s not angry when Ash is around either, but that’s not the point.”
Her gaze narrowed on Clyde. “No one wants to hear about your insecurities right now. This is about Annie.”
His eyes softened, fighting a smile. It only proved to infuriate her.
Ignoring him completely, she headed past them, straight for the elevator.
“Where are you going?”
The elevator doors parted, and she strode inside. “To talk to the king and queen, of course.”
Ashley and Clyde followed behind her. The glint of humor in his gaze started to irritate her. Intent on avoiding him, she stared straight ahead, impatiently tapping her foot. The elevator ascended. The doors parted, she waltzed through and met Jenna’s gaze.
“Hi, Valerie. Is everything okay?”
“Jake.”
Jenna’s expression saddened. “I figured he’d tell you. I also figured you would’ve left with him.”
No, he hadn’t told her. He trusted her to watch Annie, but he didn’t trust her with this. Not that she could blame him; she insisted their relationship remain professional. A personal family matter didn’t involve her. He’d only done what she asked, respected her wishes, but it hurt.
“No, I…didn’t leave with him.” A rush of tears choked her. She fought them back. “I know you don’t owe me any favors. Actually, it’s quite the opposite; I owe you and Lucas, and the Guardians, but I’ve come for one.”
She paused. Her stomach churned, making her nauseous. “There must be something you can do, so Jake can keep Annie…She was entrusted to him.”
Jenna shook her head. “Oh, Valerie, I know.”
Lucas appeared behind his mate. “We’re going to the council to vouch for him. If we can help it, Annie will remain in Jacob’s custody.”
“He can’t lose her. He needs her. She’s everything to him.” The tears she fought welled, then spilled down her cheeks. “It will kill him if he loses her.”
Next thing she knew, Jenna wrapped her arms around her. “It’s going to be okay. If any one of us can help it, we will.”
“Jacob needs you now.”
Jenna pulled away from her.
She wiped her cheeks, her gaze on Lucas. “Me?”
He nodded.
She shook her head. “I’ve spent time with them both, and I can vouch for them. I can—”
“No.” Lucas shook his head. “You need to go to him. He needs you.”
In regard to Jake, Valerie had a knack for making things worse. She feared him, how he made her feel, and besides, her gift warned her away. “I can’t… Please, let me go with you.”
“I know you’ll vouch for him, but you’ve only known him a short time. I’ve known him for centuries, so have the other Guardians. Don’t worry.”
She left feeling like she hadn’t accomplished a thing. Entering her apartment, she spotted Ashley and Clyde.
“Val, are you going to Jake?”
She swallowed back tears. “I can’t…” What would she say? How could she possibly do anything to comfort him?
“He needs you.”
Ashley wasn’t the first to say it, and it was no less absurd hearing it from her. “Why do people keep saying that? He needs Annie…”
She paused for a moment, then said, “And why does everyone assume I would’ve gone with him? I was Annie’s nanny for a week. He doesn’t need me to watch her if he’s with her.”
Ashley’s cheeks tinted a rosy shade. Her head snapped up toward her soulmate.
When neither Ashley nor Clyde provided an explanation, she added, “He probably needs a friend. Jake and I aren’t friends. Ashley, you should go.”
Clyde’s arm went around Ashley’s shoulders and tightened. “Because you pushed him away.”
“Are you kidding me?” Her cheeks heated. “I’m in no mood to hear about your insecurities.”
“This has nothing to do with me.”
She lifted a brow. “Sure.”
“Your sheer stubbornness tries my temper. No one has accomplished that in a millennium.”
Ashley cleared her throat.
Valerie’s eyes narrowed. “Jake tried your temper last week.”
“Doesn’t count. It relates to my mate.”
Ashley exhaled. “I can’t have the two of you fighting. We need to help Jake.” She looked between the two. “We have to go to the demon plane, Val. We have to vouch for Jake. He needs a friend. I’ll be gone, and I know you can help him through this.”
“Ash, I…” She shook her head. “…can’t.” Her magic was all she had. Ignoring her gift after everything she’d been through, wasn’t smart. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“She’s got everything twisted in her head.”
Val’s gaze shot to Clyde, looking at his mate. She could stake her life on the fact they were communicating telepathically as mated pairs could. It was one thing to have him in her thoughts, another completely if he shared them with Ashley, Jake’s friend. Cheeks flaming, she snapped, “Stop that.”
“I’m trying to help you and him.” He took a seat on the couch across from her, then nestled Ashley beside him.
“Why? You hate him.”
“I don’t hate him. I understand him too well. What I hate is not spending time with my mate, and he disrupts, often.”
“For Annie,” she retorted. “For a helpless child he adores, who needs help.”
“I’m not perfect, and I’m mated.”
“As if that’s an excuse.”
“It isn’t an excuse. It’s a fact of life…immortal lives. You will learn one day.”
The glimmer of humor in his eyes returned. She had the sudden urge to smack him. Odd, since she could do much worse like turn him into a frog. She smiled.
“Everything you assumed isn’t true. The memory you saw of him with the demoness…She didn’t leave him. She died the same way his parents died, the same way his sister and her mate died. They were killed by Malums.”
Her smile died. Her chest tightened. The desire to soothe the pain of his loss as if she had the power overwhelmed her.
God, so stupid to think he’d been dumped. Who would dump him anyway? No one. Even with her deep-seated fear of falling for a man who wasn’t hers, she wanted him. She shook her head, wishing it would erase what she’d learned. She didn’t want to know more. It would only succeed in driving her into his arms where she’d end up hurt.
“She wasn’t his mate,” Clyde continued, “but you already knew that. You have feelings for him.”
Her eyes narrowed. Why did he continue to dig through her mind? Hadn’t he ever learned proper manners? A wonder he and Jake hadn’t come to blows.
“He wouldn’t do that. He cares for Ashley too much.”
She fisted her hands. “Stop that.”
Ashley turned to her mate, pushing his arm off her. “That’s enough.” She faced her. “What Clyde means is your feelings are mutual. Jake cares about you.”
Her heart skipped a beat.
Clyde wrapped his arm around his mate, then looked at her and admitted, “He does.”
She let out a breath.
Could they be right? Did Jake care about her? “Jake doesn’t even know me,” she whispered in denial.
“You barely know him, but that hasn’t stopped you. You’ve more than showed us all how much,” Ashley said softly.
Her cheeks burned, recounting how she’d acted, even crying—making a complete fool of herself. She rubbed her hands over her face.
“It doesn’t matter we kissed, and…” She paused, suddenly aware she’d admitted that aloud. Then again, if Clyde read her mind, he knew, which meant chances were Ashley knew, too. “He pulled away…like…” Like he regretted it. “Then said, ‘I needed that.’ ”
Ashley frowned. “I—”
“Like if it didn’t matter who I was. It could have been any woman.”
“You are more stubborn than a mule,” Clyde’s tone clipped. “And you have one of the most negative minds, I’ve ever encountered. You naturally assume the worst. The man hasn’t kis
sed another woman for centuries. Did you ever consider he pulled away because he didn’t want things to go too far, too soon?”
He shrugged. “Maybe he wanted to give you time to get to know him or maybe he thought if things went too far, too soon, you’d assume he just wanted something temporary, instead of what he wants, something deeper, long-term.”
Something deeper? Long-term? Why? “No, he said—”
“I believe he said, ‘Thank you. I needed that.’ When does that mean, ‘Any woman will do’?”
Her heart, heavy with guilt, tightened. Feeling like an idiot and unwilling to hold Clyde’s stifling stare, she buried her head in her hands. Why had she assumed the worst of Jake? Why did she continue to do so?
Trouble. Her gift continued to nudge her, warn her away.
Yet they were more alike than she realized. He’d lost so much. She’d been awful after they shared that magnificent kiss. God, she even refused to let him explain. He’d gone as far as to plead with her. He’d been so willing to do anything, but she refused to listen. Her pride meant more. If only she’d let him explain. Instead, she let a week slip by, barely speaking to him and avoiding him. Then, he rushed to her side fearing she’d been hurt, and she hurt him again, telling him they hadn’t need him. She tried to apologize, but by then, it had been too little too late.
If he had feelings for her, he wouldn’t now. She ruined everything.
Not that it mattered; she couldn’t forget her gift’s warning. She couldn’t let herself fall for a man who’d never be hers.
Ashley opened her mouth to speak. Valerie beat her to it. “Don’t. I don’t want to know anymore.”
“Don’t let fear stop you from enjoying all life still has to offer you, especially after everything you’ve lost.”
“It’s the reason I can’t give in. I can’t fall for him. He’ll break my heart. I’ve already lost too much.”
“Oh, Val,” Ashley whispered. “Why do you assume he’ll break your heart? He loved the demoness with all his heart, and she wasn’t even his.”
It made sense. She found herself wondering what it would be like if she gave into her desires wholeheartedly. Would it be as wonderful as she imagined, not just having someone, having Jake, the man who captivated her?
No, it could never happen.
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