Brynmor was practically running down the road, worry etched into his features as he strode right past Ben to me, gripping my shoulders to look down to me, searching my face, then scanning over the rest of me. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry...I got caught up with that buffoon in the Stag.” He rolled his eyes like it had been nothing more than a minor inconvenience, which it likely wasn’t.
Rhian let go of Ben with some reluctance, the tall man looking down to Rhian with a concerned look. “You are alright, Lady Rhian.” He said lowly before stepping away, looking again to me for my answer to Brynmor’s question.
I looked between them both before lifting my eyes to Brynmor’s. “Yes, I am fine.” I said with more confidence than I felt. What if Ben hadn’t been there? I couldn’t bring myself to think about that horrifying alternative.
Ben, now satisfied that we were none the worse for wear, stood his ground and straightened his already near-perfect posture as his eyes narrowed at Brynmor. His jaw worked tightly as his eyes flicked over to me, studying me intently as though seeing right through the brave charade that I wore. He made no comment to my shaken state, a consideration I was most grateful for. Nobles and their foolish pride, after all.
I managed a weak smile, saying to Brynmor. “We are alright, thanks to Ben.” My dark blue eyes turned to lock on Ben’s, and I dipped my head to him. “Thank you for coming to our aid.” My gratitude towards this man...this stranger...was genuine, even if it was hard to admit that I might have been wrong in a few of my assumptions of the man.
He gave me a slight nod, accepting my thanks, though his attentions and animosity towards Brynmor quickly overwhelmed his features as he replied with a growl. “It would not have happened at all if your guard had done his duty in the first place.” The frustration he felt poured into his tone, and if it hadn’t already been obvious that Ben shared no care for our guard, the fullness of that dislike was clear now.
Brynmor’s hands released my shoulders and came up defensively as he turned to glare at Ben, finally acknowledging the other man. “I’ll have you know I was doing my job, Ben.” He snapped at the other man. “The girls found some trouble in the Stag and I sent them out to be safe while I dealt with it.” Brynmor narrowed his eyes a little at Ben as though challenging the older man to argue.
Rhian frowned at the two men, clearing her throat and surprising me by defusing the situation. “It doesn’t matter.” She said shyly, dismissing whatever was going on between Ben and Brynmor. “You saved us and we are grateful. Thank you, Ben.” I wasn’t sure if she was just oblivious to the growing animosity, or if she just didn’t care. Her normally fair skin was paler than usual due to her fright, though when Ben finally relented and nodded back to her, those white cheeks flushed pink.
He gave her a slight, reassuring smile before glancing to me to give me a steady, calm look. “Take your sister home, she had quite the scare.” He said lowly to me, choosing to ignore Brynmor completely and turning to leave. I nodded to him, though I am not sure he even noticed as he was already heading down the hill with his usual graceful stride.
Brynmor scowled and whirled around, muttering, “Yessir, Ben sir. I’ll do as I’m told.” His mockery and sarcasm was so thick, I could have cut it with a butter knife. I should have scolded Brynmor for his disrespect, but my still rattled mind began to fill with other concerns. Why hadn’t Brynmor just come with us when Rhian and I left the Stag? What was the point of staying, other than to prove his own worth against the larger man? He left us on our own, pathetically helpless, and that was not a feeling I liked in the slightest. Something needs to change.
Brynmor’s eyes narrowed as they followed Ben down the hill. “I really hate that guy.” I heard him mutter under his breath, and I sighed softly. Brynmor was fuming as he stalked up towards the Stag’s stables to collect our horses, though whether it was because he hated Ben or because he had failed to protect us from the thugs, I couldn’t be sure. I watched Ben in that last moment before his lithe stride carried him from sight, painfully aware of one undeniable thing. If he had wished for a chance to prove himself, he had just found it.
CHAPTER 23
I wove through the crowded street of Lund with Madox, parting ways briefly for Madox to see to his business in the leather-worker’s shop a few doors down from the herbalist’s shop where I was heading. The incident with the thugs had rattled me, not so much that I feared being alone, but driving me to be extra cautious about my surroundings. Thankfully, Rhian had been frightened enough to halt any desire she had to sneak off, at least for now.
From the beginning, I hadn’t been foolish enough to believe that this city was safe, and was always escorted, as much as I craved the solitude some days. But now, the realization that simply having a guard nearby might not be enough. What if Ben hadn’t been nearby? What if Brynmor hadn’t been able to get away from the Stag in time? I already knew the answers to those questions, and despite my wish to change the glaring truth, if nobody had come to our aid, the protection of my sister would have fallen to me. I was no warrior...I was not equipped in the slightest to protect her or myself, and my stomach churned with the possible fates we might have found then.
I looked around as I climbed the steps to the herbalist’s, though I halted at the top as a familiar figure came into my peripheral vision. I lingered at the top of the steps, pausing to watch Ben enter the courtyard of the Silver Stag while steering his large, black horse towards the stables. Without a second thought, I made my way towards him, though I halted, feeling a little silly for following him and second-guessing this course of action. He had not seemed to notice me, or if he had, gave no acknowledgment, though he didn’t really strike me as the acknowledging kind.
I hesitated in the middle of the courtyard, indecisively chewing on my bottom lip as I eyed the stairs that would lead up to the Inn before directing my steps with more boldness than I felt towards Ben as he tended to his horse. A momentary flash of surprise crossed over his features when he caught sight of me approaching, though the startlement was quickly replaced by a neutral look. He offered no more than a slight dip of his head before looking back up to his saddlebags, beginning the process of unlatching them.
I suspected he was still annoyed with us...our lack of proper guardianship was likely high on the list though his dislike of Brynmor was a close second. He didn’t look at me again until I reached him, and in a stark contrast to the neutral nod he gave me a moment ago, now looked me over swiftly as though ensuring I was still in one piece. “Good day, Lady Carys.” He said smoothly, albeit more quietly than his usual way of speaking.
I dipped my head politely in greeting, unsure what to say, though feeling strongly like I owed him a conversation more than ever after the events a few days ago. “Hello, Ben. I apologize for startling you, I only wished to thank you again for your assistance the other day. I don’t feel like I had the chance to thank you properly, so...thank you. Rhian and I would have been in a lot of trouble if you hadn’t stepped in…” My voice awkwardly trailed off, knowing that the incident had been tangible proof that his guardianship was needed. The look he gave me clearly expressed his shared sentiment in that matter.
He turned his back to me, now facing his horse as he untied one of his saddle bags, replying. “I am glad I could be of service.” There was a slight sardonic edge to his tone and I was left staring as he pulled the saddlebag from the back of his horse, slinging it over his shoulder. He left his scolding of my foolish choice to not hire him unspoken, though it hung in the silence between us. My eyes turned upwards to meet his when he finally turned, his blue-grays meeting my blue with an unreadable expression.
He gestured toward the Silver Stag and fluently changed the topic. “Were you going inside or planning to linger in the courtyard all day?” So he had noticed me after all. I admit, I was a little surprised that he had, but even more surprised by the unexpected turn of conversation and my eyebrows lifted in surprise before furrowing in confusion.
&nb
sp; “Ah, yes.” I said, suddenly feeling awkward though I wasn’t sure why. He motioned for me to proceed, waiting for me to head towards the steps before following closely behind. I glanced over my shoulder to him, hesitantly asking. “Would you have some time to finish our conversation from a few days ago?” That unfinished conversation about my sister’s antics seemed rather pointless now, but I had to begrudgingly admit that I wanted to continue talking with him, arguing that it was due to my promise to my sister rather than my own curiosity.
Ben gracefully stepped around me, pulling the door open in a surprising gentlemanly gesture and allowed me through first. He glanced down to my face as I passed by him and into the tavern, wearing his usual neutral expression though he nodded in acceptance. He strode to the bar, ordering his usual ale and a red wine for me, motioning for me to find a place to sit. There was a table right near the bar, but with the growing list of questions that were forming in my mind, I chose a table further to the back, but still well within view of the door. Should Madox come in, I did not want it to appear that we were hiding.
My goblet was set before me quickly enough, Ben taking a place across from me. He was silent as he watched me in expectation, waiting for me to start. “Where did you learn to fight like that?” I asked, that being the first question that came to mind. By the twitch of his cheek and the flat look that appeared on his face, it did not appear to be a welcome question, though he humored me and answered it anyways.
“I was trained to be a warrior from my youth.” He said shortly, and I knew he was being deliberately vague. I wasn’t sure how much to press the matter, wanting answers, but not so willing to push for them, despite my growing curiosity. His gaze was steady on mine, and I could see plainly that it wasn’t a matter of shame that kept him from answering, which made me all the more inquisitive.
“Rhian said that you were here in Lund looking for your Master. What happened to him exactly?” I knew I was prying, but if this was the story he was giving, I wanted to hear the whole of it so I could determine just how far-fetched it really was. Initially, I thought it was a complete lie, designed with the idea of impressing my sister, though admittedly, it was becoming more and more plausible.
Ben’s brow lifted, pausing as he lifted his mug to his lips. I suspected that question had caught him a little by surprise, though he answered with the ever flawless neutral expression. “He vanished. I heard he was in this area so I came in search of him. As the Master of the house, he must return to his duties.” Duty. That was something I knew more than my fair share about and put myself in his Master’s shoes. If I vanished, Brynmor and Madox would likely be doing the same thing as Ben was, and in that moment, I couldn’t help but believe his story.
His answer was still too vague for my liking, however, and I studied him intently as I wondered why his Master had left. Had his Master brought shame to the household, and it was a matter of family honor that kept Ben from giving the reason for his Master’s disappearance? “My apologies, but I’m a little confused.” I said, shaking my head lightly. “You already serve him, but seek to become a guard in my Household? Will that not lead to a conflict of interest at some point?” I asked with a furrowing brow.
He gave me a calm look, his eyes filled with a steady certainty as his gaze fixed on mine. “I can do both, Lady Carys. Until such time as my Master chooses to reveal himself, I am left doing nothing. I would be more useful serving your household until he comes out of hiding.” His voice was quiet, though there was a faint hardening in his tone. He is angry, but is he angry at me for not hiring him, or angry at his Master for disappearing?
I didn’t say anything right away, just chewed on my lip while trying to sift through the list of facts and assumptions I had of Ben in my hopeless attempt to determine the character of the man that sat before me. I was at a loss. “I see.” I finally said quietly, not sure what else to say that wouldn’t require me to commit to anything. “And the brothel in Soruk?” I asked, wondering if he had entered in search of his Master, or for his own desires.
He snorted, giving me an indecipherable look as he answered. “Men have certain needs, Lady Carys. My life does not allow for committed relationships which leaves me with few options. Brothels are simpler than trying to woo women into bed for a night or two as I pass through town.”
I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, though admittedly, his explanation made sense. I had thought he preferred such women, not considering that he had no other alternative. “Ah…” I managed to reply, feeling as though this conversation had become very awkward.
We sat there staring at each other for only a moment, but it felt much longer. At last, he pulled a knife from his weapons belt, flipping it around in his hand to hold the hilt out to me. “If you will not hire me, then at least take this. Hide it on your person and keep it with you at all times.” His frustration was faintly present in his tone, but there was something else. Concern. “The element of surprise will be your greatest advantage, Lady Carys.” His tone gentled as he spoke, tilting the hilt towards me.
I did not even look down to the dagger, my eyes fixed on him in a wide-eyed stare, shocked at the gift and the suggestion. His advice took a moment to settle into my comprehension, and a wide array of thoughts and questions suddenly began a relentless hammering in my mind. He sat there patiently waiting for me to take the knife, finally lifting it more into my field of vision with a slowly lifting brow. I blinked, finally realizing that in my shock, I had forgotten to take it, and my cheeks turned several shades of crimson.
This gesture had been completely unexpected, and for the life of me, I couldn’t quite understand his reasoning. I could believe his story, and I could believe his reasons for wishing to be our guard, but providing me a weapon and suggestions on how to take care of myself despite my refusal to hire him? I had no idea what to make of Ben, though it was becoming clear that he genuinely cared about our wellbeing.
My eyes dropped to the dagger, seeing now the excellence right down to its finest details. It was not like anything I had seen before, but there was no doubt as to its exceptional quality. This was a gift of no small measure, though how he came to own such a weapon was a question I wanted the answer to one day. But for now I gently wrapped my long fingers around the hilt, gently taking the blade from him at last, studying it with thinly veiled awe.
The blade was high caliber steel, the intricate etchings in the wood and bone hilt reminded me of some of the runes and symbols I had seen in the Libraries of Perinthas of Yehket’s history. I had once assumed Ben was a mercenary, devising his tale in order to get close to my sister for reasons unknown, but as I studied this blade, one thing was abundantly clear: This was the blade of a wealthy House, not something that would ever belong to a mercenary.
I turned it over slowly in my hands, knowing that Ben was watching me study it. I didn’t need to see him smirking to know that he was, feeling it right down to my core. My focus, however, was on the many questions coursing through my mind. Why is he giving this to me? What is he hoping to accomplish by this?
My brow furrowed as yet another realization entered my conscious thought...one that was embarrassing to admit to him, though it was to be expected. I don’t know how to use this. I made a choice in that moment, one that I look back on now to see so clearly how this was the choice...the decision that set me on an entirely new path, despite all my efforts to stay on the life’s course that was supposed to be mine.
“I will accept this on one condition, Ben.” I murmured softly, finally lifting my eyes in search of his. “I don’t know how to use this…” I admitted lowly, then added. “Will you teach me?” The mixture of expressions that flickered over his face was fascinating...Surprise, satisfaction, and something that I didn’t recognize.
His gaze fixed upon mine for a moment in silence, studying me as keenly as I had just been studying his dagger. He was silent for a full minute before he seemed to come to a decision. He nodded slowly, lips twitching into a faint smile
. “As you wish, Lady Carys.” His eyes turned to the blade still in my hands as I straightened my posture.
I looked over the dagger one last time as I murmured. “I will keep this in my boot.” I said with a tone of finality. With my usual attire of gowns, a weapons belt slung around my waist was definitely not an option, and with his suggestion to keep the blade out of sight, I was left with only one reasonable choice. I was now grateful for the boots I had opted to wear rather than slippers, though Rhian thought wearing boots under my skirts was socially unacceptable.
Glancing around the still empty tavern, I pulled up my skirt just high enough to slip the knife carefully down my calf and into my boot, only the very tip of the hilt sticking out, though my skirt would hide that. I knew he was right...surprise would be my best (and only) advantage.
“I have another request, Ben...this one is even more important.” I murmured to him, his brow lifting in curiosity. I let out a faint sigh, not really sure if he would agree to this part, but I asked anyways because I needed to. “Where I come from, noble women do not learn combat. It is considered beneath us, and females are not even permitted to carry weapons at all. I know that Father would not allow me to learn, not ever. He is a traditionalist if there ever was one, and he would not approve. But after those thugs the other day…” I looked up to him, knowing that what I was asking would make me a complete hypocrite. “I see the need to have some ability to protect myself and my sister in case that happens again. I need to train in secret, and so I ask that you say nothing of it to anyone.”
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