A Single Spark

by Tayvia Pierce

  I sat as he did, shaking my head lightly. “She seems fine, and yet she is changed. She was vague on all details, saying only said that she was taken to Yehket where she was held all this time. She says she was treated well, and apparently they let her go and so she followed us here. Ben was outside when she came through the gate, but didn’t know who she was...” My voice trailed off as my thoughts turned to her story, still having doubts regarding her story, even without the details; it seemed far-fetched. Is she trying to cover up the truth of what happened? Why would she do that?

  His brows lifted before they furrowed, being equally skeptical. “That doesn’t sound like the Yehketim at all.” He let out a perplexed sigh, one that I echoed and he turned to face me, adding as he let go of my arm. “Perhaps she will give us more answers later. Maybe she simply didn’t want to ruin our reunion with tales of horror and misery.”

  I admit, that thought hadn’t even occurred to me and I looked down at the stones of the patio, abashed. Of course she wouldn’t want to tell such stories to her children, yet I couldn’t help being suspicious. It was my nature, after all.

  He smiled down to me and said. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I really could use a drink right now. I’m going to head into town and won’t be back until late. I will see you tomorrow.” He flashed a charming smile and rose to his feet, heading back up the path and leaving me to sit alone.

  The marble bench was cold on my backside, though I barely noticed the chill that had begun to move through my body. It had been such a long and eventful day, and I was worn out, beyond thinking and beyond feeling. My eyes drifted shut as a myriad of thoughts swirled in my head, no rhyme or reason to the thoughts that flicked through my mind. Pedr, Bryn, Mother, Ben…

  I felt movement beside me and opened my eyes, Ben’s shoulder grazing mine as he sat there with a stony expression. I was too tired to play guessing games with him right now, attempting to decipher what he was thinking causing a surge of anxiety. How have I disappointed him this time? “It will be alright, Lady Carys.” His face softened and he looked down to me. “It has been an eventful few days, and I know you are overwhelmed. It will be alright, just breathe.”

  I took a deep breath as instructed, then another, feeling the knot in my chest slowly begin to unwind, and finally I shook my head. “Everything is happening all at once and I feel like I can’t catch my breath.” I admitted to him, my anger with him earlier evaporating as I found myself confiding in him. As the anxiety faded, my exhaustion took over and I rubbed my eyes.

  His blue-grey eyes intently studied me as he commented. “I would think you would be elated with the return of your mother, thought dead all this time.” He said quietly, frowning down to me as lines of concern creased his forehead. “What troubles you?”

  I shook my head, trying to sort out why I was feeling so ill at ease. “I am thrilled to see her alive, but…” I sighed as I pressed my fingertips into my eyes to rub gently. “I talk to her and she’s fine and unaffected, and I’m relieved. Then I see this distant, cold look in her eyes that isn’t like her at all, like she’s my mother, and yet she’s not.” Tears pricked at my eyes and I hung my head. “Whatever she claims, her captivity affected her. I’m worried...she’s like some smiling, unaffected impostor.” I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, swallowing past the lump that was forming in my throat. “It just doesn’t feel right somehow, but maybe I’m just too tired to think properly.” I mumbled.

  He snorted softly next to me, murmuring near my ear. “You have good instincts, Carys. But don’t assume something is wrong simply because it is something you do not understand.” He stared out grimly towards the water and I turned my head a little, studying his features out the side of my eye.

  He seemed so different than the man I had met in the tavern in Soruk. He had been more relaxed then, more prone to teasing and humor. He was far more serious now, his body more rigid with a growing tension. Was it the wait for his own master that darkened his thoughts? I loathed to think it was the burden of our family’s affairs that weighed so heavily on him, though I knew his sense of duty to our family was something he took very seriously.

  The thought of his Master’s return brought forth the unwelcome reminder that Ben would not be in our family’s service for very long. My heart sank and the loveliness of the night dimmed as I considered that day with a growing dull ache in my chest. I couldn’t deny that I appreciated his company. As infuriating as he can be, I will miss him when he is gone.

  A thin crust of ice was forming over the water, the moonlight shimmering off the glacial veneer as our breath puffed in the cold air. The chill of the night and my inability to return indoors returned my thoughts to my mother and her mysterious return. “I don’t understand why she is being so vague.” I said quietly. “What did they want with her? And if she wasn’t a prisoner, why didn’t she come home sooner? Or at least send us a message?” I asked, though I didn’t expect him to answer.

  “I doubt it would be the sort of tale you would tell when trying to enjoy the presence of your family after showing up alive on their doorstep.” He murmured wryly, strangely echoing what Iolyn had said earlier. “Ask her tomorrow when you are alone. She may give more answers then. For now, you need sleep.” He rose up from the marble bench, taking me by the arm to gently pull me to my feet.

  I wanted to argue with him, to tell him that I didn’t need sleep, but I was dead on my feet. I took his arm, letting him escort me back to the house where he ushered me through the door to an empty room, taking my wrap from my shoulders to return to the coat hooks nearby. He dipped his head as I did, offering a quiet goodnight as though this was just another day, though I couldn’t help but feel some force beginning to permeate the air.

  CHAPTER 39

  Life with Tesni was an adjustment of no small proportion. While most in the Household were happy to have Mother back along with her grandiose ideas and idealistic suggestions, her wit had gone from friendly teasing to antagonistic in nature. At least, I thought so, though I wondered if I was the only one that sensed it. Rhian’s teenage angst and rebellion stopped as the woman she had idolized returned, happy and obedient, and following Mother everywhere like a lost puppy.

  Iolyn was happy to have an ally at last against Father’s lectures on settling down, a grown man now accustomed to enjoying his life the way he chose and spending hours debating with Mother over whatever ambitious thought Mother chose to share.

  Father was overjoyed to have his wife returned unharmed, though he spent much of their time together apologizing profusely, taking the full brunt of the blame for her abduction and captivity. She forgave him for believing the deceptions of the Yehketim when they faked her death, and for not protecting her better in the first place. Father’s apologies continued, despite her repeated forgiveness, and I wondered what else he was apologizing for?

  My previous struggles in my relationship with her resumed, her backhanded compliments mixed with reasons why I could never quite compare to my sister in many aspects of life left me raw by the end of each day. It had been three, nearly four years, since she had been taken from us, and while I attempted to ask the questions burning holes in my mind, my every attempt was foiled in one way or another, or she avoided answering completely.

  This particular evening had Mother, Rhian, Ben, Bryn, and myself sitting in the Stag eating dinner after Rhian insisted we give Mother a tour of Lund, though I got the sense she had been in town longer than she was admitting to. She seemed to have at least some sense of this city, and the cat that followed her halfway through town seemed to have some expectation from her, so I don’t know why she didn’t simply say she had been here for awhile as she searched for us. Perhaps she didn’t look for us right away. The thought nagged at me, and I didn’t want to acknowledge what other possibilities lay in that way of thinking.

  “So why did you choose this town, Carys?” Mother asked me as she pierced the chunk of meat on her plate and began to cut. “It is qua
int, yes, but there is so much more of the world left to see. Did your father think he would find a husband for you here? Or was it always his intention to marry you off to your guard?” Her voice sounded innocent enough, but I knew better. Hidden behind her innocent words was her ridicule for Father’s choices, and a passive disapproval of me for submitting to Father’s decree.

  “I have already explained this to you, Mother.” I struggled against my frustration with her, sensing this was becoming a way for her to needle me more than anything else. “Our wagon wheel broke and we were stuck here. We lacked the money to move on after paying Rhian’s ransom.” I explained again, ending my explanation by taking a longer than necessary drink of my wine.

  “I see,” She said simply, popping the bite into her mouth, turning her gaze to Ben to study him as he stood behind me. I wish I could tell what she thought of him; however, she had perfected her calm, neutral look over her absence.

  Rhian, feeling the need to defend our life here added quickly. “We are trying to do what you always taught us, Mother. Make a life for ourselves to live how we wish. I’m trying to make my own choices but Carys and Father won’t let me.” Her voice bordered on a whine and I rolled my eyes.

  Mother snorted softly, patting Rhian’s hand. “They are still bound by tradition, Rhian, but remember, it is tradition that has given you a life of prosperity. It is only logical to wait until you are a little older before breaking the shackles and going off on your own. Then you can be free and wealthy, rather than just free.” She glanced at me with a shrewd look, adding. “Frankly, Carys, I thought of all my children, you would be the free spirit, not the one bound to tradition and ancient dictates, but I understand...your Father always did have a lot of influence over you. Your choices are your own and they will be respected, of course.” My choices respected? Since when?! I bit my tongue...hard.

  Her gaze eventually turned to Brynmor with only a flicker of disdain before settling on me as she cut another bite of the slab of meat on her plate. “Speaking of traditions and lives of prosperity, have all of our assets from Perinthas been transferred here?”

  Rhian broke in, giving Ben a shy glance before she said to Mother. “Father is selling the villa in Perinthas along with everything in it and then having the funds moved here.” She straightened as her chin lifted, giving all appearances that she understood what that entailed. I knew she didn’t but she was surrounded by people she wished to impress, so I nodded. She blushed a little with my apparent approval and added. “We received one strongbox so far, and it is only a matter of time before it all arrives here.”

  Mother nodded to her and gave her an admiring smile. “You are so grown up, Rhian. It is good to see that you have not let your studies lapse.” Brynmor barked a laugh at that comment, but immediately cleared his throat and dutifully straightened as Mother shot him a glare. She had pretended to be thrilled with our arranged marriage, though it hadn’t taken long for the small comments that suggested the contrary to pass her lips.

  I watched Mother intently as she asked Rhian another question, considering a few of my own queries. I had tried to ask about her captivity all week and she managed to avoid answering them, either due to the untimely arrival of someone or a convenient change of subject, but here over dinner I might find some success.“Why didn’t you send us a message to tell us you were alive, Mother?” I asked casually, taking a bite of my meal.

  She gave me a cool look, holding my dark blue eyes with her own bright hues. She studied me for a longer moment than was needed, considering her answer carefully. “Because I thought there was nobody to write to.” She answered smoothly. “As far as I knew, they had slaughtered you all. And as I said, I was treated well, and despite my lack of a cell and shackles, I was not free to write or leave until recently, at which point I came to find my family. Writing at that time was pointless as I would have reached you before any missive would have. That is all there is to say, Carys, so please...stop asking.” Her tone was nearly ice by the time she finished, though it warmed instantly once she looked back to my sister. “Let’s forget about the past and look to the future, yes?” Her smile grew as she patted Rhian’s arm. “After all, we have a lot to consider if you will insist on staying in this little town.”

  Ben’s soft huff behind me caught my ear as did the faint creak of leather as his already perfect posture grew rigid with her tone. Mother had always been tough on me, but her caustic demeanor was well beyond anything I had experienced previously. Even her doting over Rhian felt laced with condescension and sarcasm as though resentment had been etched into her every fiber. Had I been blinded all these years, or had she changed this drastically in her time away? I went quiet, deciding that pressing for answers would have to wait and I lowered my eyes as I returned to eat my dinner in silence.

  Brynmor’s hand patted my leg reassuringly under the table and I let out a faint sigh but kept eating as Mother have Rhian a disapproving look. “So you have fallen behind in your studies, Rhian, judging by Brynmor’s reaction. When we get home, you will resume your education and you will work until you are caught up. Just because you are living in a city of simpletons does not mean you will become one. Intelligence will open many doors for you, as will education. As they say, knowledge is power.” Rhian nodded dutifully, shoulders slumping faintly in dejection. She mumbled a response, earning a light reprimand from Mother.

  I let them talk as I kept my own mouth shut, Brynmor interjecting his defenses in how the household had been run and Rhian defending her behavior, though I let my thoughts drift to the guard behind me.

  Ben had been quiet and irritable this last week, though the reasons remained a mystery. Our lessons continued almost daily, though the conversation and camaraderie we often enjoyed during the lessons were non-existent. Ben conducted our lessons with a practical and disciplined approach, keeping me both physically and emotionally distant as the invisible wall formed a knot in my stomach. Finally, I asked what I had done to offend him, Ben giving me a look that bordered on both guilt and annoyance, shaking his head and replying with a crisp, “Nothing.” The separation that continued to grow between us proved there was, and I was at a loss.

  And now he stood a few feet behind me, rigid, cold and distant as he performed his duty. Duty...was that all it was now? Or was that all it ever was and I was nothing more than a fool who thought he cared? I let out a little sigh and finished my last bite, pushing my plate away and looking over to Rhian, Brynmor, and Mother. Mother wore a smug look, Rhian looked abashed, and Bryn looked irritated. What did I miss? I frowned as I looked between the three of them.

  “It wasn’t my fault, he left me.” Rhian defended herself and I realized they were discussing Pedr’s abrupt departure. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” She snapped at whatever Brynmor said to her before giving Mother a pleading look. “I know I could have been nicer to him, but I didn’t want to marry him.” Mother offered Rhian a validating nod as my sister’s eyes flicked over to Brynmor before she rose, growing upset. “I need some air.” She finally said with a defiant huff and she turned on her heel, her stride quickly carrying her to the front door.

  Mother followed Rhian pensively with her eyes as Brynmor groaned, rising from his seat. “I’ll go get her.” He said tiredly, glancing back to Ben with a tight look that claimed ‘I-will-handle-this’. He squeezed my shoulder affectionately before heading to the door without his usual saunter.

  “I don’t recall her being this dramatic,” Mother stated, shifting her gaze towards me as both Rhian and Brynmor departed. “I blame your move here and the way you try to restrict her.” She said evenly, resuming her meal as though nothing was wrong.

  My eyebrows slowly rose along with my disbelief. She’s placing the blame for Rhian’s idiocy on us? Is she serious? I scoffed, my skin only so thick. “You are not actually blaming Father and I for her behavior now, are you?” I stared at her as she gave me an affronted look that I would try to deny responsibility, but I continued unfazed. “You
were the one who spoiled her all her life. You let her get away with everything...she never got in trouble and she got every single thing she wanted without ever having to earn it. And you wonder why she is acting like a spoiled brat now?” I struggled to keep my voice even, but I failed.

  Her laugh cut through me like a sharp knife. “And what sort of role model have you been to her in my absence?” She said haughtily, her calm facade vanishing in an instant. “You do nothing but restrict her and try to control her. How is she to learn to handle her freedom and handle having choices when you keep her from having any?” She gave me a dark look and leaned across the table to whisper cryptically. “A gilded cage is still a cage, Carys.” She pushed her unfinished meal away from her and rose gracefully to her feet, fixing her scornful gaze on me. “I am leaving. Ben will escort you home, as I have no need of a guard.” She gave Ben a commanding look to ensure he wouldn’t budge from my side before she strolled out the door.