A Single Spark

by Tayvia Pierce

  He was pale and the borrowed cotton shirt was soaked with sweat from his exertions, and I resisted the overwhelming urge to scold him. “Ben…” I frowned as I closed the space between us, fully intending to drag him back to his bed. “You are pushing yourself far too hard. You need to rest and regain your strength.” I spoke tersely, taking his arm to give him no option but to come with me.

  He growled at me, eyes flashing with both indignation and fear. “No. I need to walk! I cannot lay in that bed and longer, I need t-...” His tirade stopped short the moment Tam’s little freckled face poked around the door. “Tam…” It was like all the fearful, angry emotions dissipated in an instant and were replaced with a profound relief.

  Tam’s relief matched Ben’s as the boy came inside the house, rushing toward Ben, though giving me as wide a berth as he could while still reaching the man. His little arms wrapped around Ben’s waist, eliciting a grunt and a grimace from my guard. “Careful, Tam,” Ben murmured gently to the boy. “Or the Lady Carys might scold you for undoing all her hard work.” He glanced up to me, though there was no amusement in his eyes. “Alright, I will sit.” He relented with no small amount of reluctance.

  Tam let go, Ben waving my help away as he slowly hobbled to the couch to sit, only to have Tam climb up next to him, watching me warily as though I was the villain who was intruding on their secret boy’s club and its secret meeting.

  I cleared my throat and looked between them, knowing quite well when my presence wasn’t wanted. “I will let you two chat.” There was a pile of letters on the table and on a whim, decided it was a good time to go through them. I set myself to the task of fixing some tea while Ben and Tam spoke quietly on the couch. I could hear only the softest mumblings of their conversation, the low timbre of Ben’s voice hard to miss even if I couldn’t make out his words.

  The missives on the table were nearly all from creditors, and my half-hearted attention to the conversation of Ben and Tam faded completely as I read through each one. I had done my best to delay payments as we waited for more coin to trickle back in, and slowly our accounts were gaining back the coin we took for Rhian’s ransom, but it was slower going than I expected.

  I sighed and shook my head. “I understand that you want to heal and be up and about, but you are going to tire yourself out and do permanent damage.” I insisted, sounding as annoyed as I felt. He shot me a glare, slowly continuing though his lean was growing heavier. His scowl shifted a little, seeing the defeated look on my face, and while he still frowned, it showed his concern.

  “What’s wrong?” His tone was gruff, though I knew it was from the pain and not from anger, and I found myself mentally adding more willowbark to my list of things needed from town. Returning my gaze to the stack of letters in front of me, the dismal reality of our finances brought a hopeless look to my face.

  “Nothing that I shouldn’t have expected.” I let out a tired sigh, deciding to tell him about the creditors. “We paid that money for Rhian’s ransom, and while we are slowly replenishing our funds, it isn’t nearly where it should be and we can’t afford to pay our bills.” I said quietly. “Nobody curbed their spending like I asked, and now we owe so much that it will take a year to pay them all back. We can barely afford to pay our staff anything, so…” I didn’t even know how to finish the thought any other way. “So we’re in serious trouble.”

  I leaned over until my forehead rested against the table, my hair spilling out to the sides to hide my face from his sight. “I don’t know what to do.” I moaned softly, feeling every ounce of weariness I carried. All of my anger towards him was dissipating, needing his listening ear just for a minute. I could go back to being angry later.

  I could hear the creak of the floorboards as Ben continued his walk, and it wasn’t until I felt the table shift that I realized he had walked the distance to the table and was now leaning on it. I lifted my head, my dark blue eyes finding his blue-grey as he looked down to me. There was a strangely compassionate look there, and the sound of a chink pulled my eyes to the coin sack he was placing on the table.

  “I do not do this job for the coin.” He grunted, possibly thinking that was explanation enough, nudging the sack closer to me. “Consider this a gift.” I met his eyes again, holding his gaze for what seemed an eternity as the full realization of his action hit me. He is giving us money to bail us out of our financial problems? How can he afford to do this? My jaw dropped a little in complete shock, and all I could do was start shaking my head.

  “No.... I cannot accept this, Ben.” I said, which only served to bring a deeply etched frown to his face. “It is your money, I cannot take it.” I said, a little more insistent this time. I already owed him enough without him bailing our family out of debt.

  He growled at me. “You need it. Take it. I will not take it back.” He lifted his weight from the table, giving me a very serious and determined look. The man was as stubborn as I was, and this would never be a battle of wills that I could win, at least not today. He was right, we needed it desperately, and as a defeated look returned to my face, a vague look of triumph flashed over his. It wasn’t the gloating sort of triumph, I realized, but one of relief.

  “I will take it on one condition,” I said finally, relenting as much as a stubborn being like myself could in such a matter. “I accept it as a loan, to be repaid when we are able.” I tilted my head upward, giving him a slightly defiant look as though daring him to refuse.

  He didn’t, his lips twitching slightly as though trying not to smile. “Fair enough, Lady Carys.” He said, only now taking on the deferential tone of an employee. It was infuriating, how he slipped back and forth according to his feelings in the moment. He turned around, beginning the agonizing trek back to his bed. Of course, now that he has gotten his way, I will get mine, it seems. His shirt was soaked with sweat and I could hear him panting for air, though I didn’t go to help him. I already knew he would never accept my help anyways.

  They were all demanding their payment, and we had nothing to give. We were only barely able to start paying our staff again, though when I looked at the latest bills, I considered locking everyone in their rooms. My pleas to cease frivolous spending had fallen on deaf ears, and it seemed they were trying to spite me.

  The small amount of calm I had left slowly dissipated with every letter I read, which meant my stress grew exponentially. I slumped bleakly against the table and dropped the last letter onto the table, wearily rubbing my forehead with my palm.

  Tam slid off the couch as their conversation seemed to wrap up, the boy going to grab Ben’s pack and weapons belt, dragging the former across the floor while clutching the latter securely to his chest until he reached Ben’s side. With barely a veiled grimace, Ben leaned over to select a few things from his pack, handing Tam a few silvers and a candy, giving the boy an affectionate, though tired, smile.

  Tam wasted no time in unwrapping the candy and popping it into his mouth, his cheek bulging out as his lips smacked. Taking the silvers greedily, he stuck them into his pocket as he grinned to Ben before he headed to the door without so much as a farewell.

  My fingertips were still pressed into my forehead while I watched that exchange out of the corner of my eye, gently circling as though it might push away the headache that was forming. “I didn’t take you for the parental type.” I commented quietly to Ben once Tam had gone. Ben’s eyes found mine, whatever humor he had found with Tam vanished, turning back to his usual grim look.

  “He is a good kid.” He grunted, slowly pushing himself back up to stand, resuming his slow hobbling around the couches.

  I sighed and shook my head. “I understand that you want to heal and be up and about, but you are going to tire yourself out and do permanent damage.” I insisted, sounding as annoyed as I felt. He shot me a glare, slowly continuing though his lean was growing heavier. His scowl shifted a little, seeing the defeated look on my face, and while he still frowned, it showed his concern.

  “What�
��s wrong?” His tone was gruff, though I knew it was from the pain and not from anger, and I found myself mentally adding more willowbark to my list of things needed from town. Returning my gaze to the stack of letters in front of me, the dismal reality of our finances brought a hopeless look to my face.

  “Nothing that I shouldn’t have expected.” I let out a tired sigh, deciding to tell him about the creditors. “We paid that money for Rhian’s ransom, and while we are slowly replenishing our funds, it isn’t nearly where it should be and we can’t afford to pay our bills.” I said quietly. “Nobody curbed their spending like I asked, and now we owe so much that it will take a year to pay them all back. We can barely afford to pay our staff anything, so…” I didn’t even know how to finish the thought any other way. “So we’re in serious trouble.”

  I leaned over until my forehead rested against the table, my hair spilling out to the sides to hide my face from his sight. “I don’t know what to do.” I moaned softly, feeling every ounce of weariness I carried. All of my anger towards him was dissipating, needing his listening ear just for a minute. I could go back to being angry later.

  I could hear the creak of the floorboards as Ben continued his walk, and it wasn’t until I felt the table shift that I realized he had walked the distance to the table and was now leaning on it. I lifted my head, my dark blue eyes finding his blue-grey as he looked down to me. There was a strangely compassionate look there, and the sound of a chink pulled my eyes to the coin sack he was placing on the table.

  “I do not do this job for the coin.” He grunted, possibly thinking that was explanation enough, nudging the sack closer to me. “Consider this a gift.” I met his eyes again, holding his gaze for what seemed an eternity as the full realization of his action hit me. He is giving us money to bail us out of our financial problems? How can he afford to do this? My jaw dropped a little in complete shock, and all I could do was start shaking my head.

  “No.... I cannot accept this, Ben.” I said, which only served to bring a deeply etched frown to his face. “It is your money, I cannot take it.” I said, a little more insistent this time. I already owed him enough without him bailing our family out of debt.

  He growled at me. “You need it. Take it. I will not take it back.” He lifted his weight from the table, giving me a very serious and determined look. The man was as stubborn as I was, and this would never be a battle of wills that I could win, at least not today. He was right, we needed it desperately, and as a defeated look returned to my face, a vague look of triumph flashed over his. It wasn’t the gloating sort of triumph, I realized, but one of relief.

  “I will take it on one condition,” I said finally, relenting as much as a stubborn being like myself could in such a matter. “I accept it as a loan, to be repaid when we are able.” I tilted my head upward, giving him a slightly defiant look as though daring him to refuse.

  He didn’t, his lips twitching slightly as though trying not to smile. “Fair enough, Lady Carys.” He said, only now taking on the deferential tone of an employee. It was infuriating, how he slipped back and forth according to his feelings in the moment. He turned around, beginning the agonizing trek back to his bed. Of course, now that he has gotten his way, I will get mine, it seems. His shirt was soaked with sweat and I could hear him panting for air, though I didn’t go to help him. I already knew he would never accept my help anyways.

  CHAPTER 57

  The next two weeks had our family squared up with most of those we owed money to, and the staff were paid nearly in full. It was a profound relief to be out from under the weight of our debts, only one now remaining, and I was determined to have the debt to Ben paid off as soon as humanly possible.

  Ben was pushing himself far too hard in his attempts to regain his ability to walk, and I was getting worried. There was a desperation to it, some unknown need driving him to be able-bodied, and I wasn’t sure if it was his desire to return to work, or something else entirely. The only thing I understood was that something in the air had shifted, and I was restless.

  My friendship with Ben had its share of ups and downs, my feelings for him clouding my thoughts more than it should have, and I found myself keeping some distance between us. What might have hurt me most was that he seemed to be doing the same thing. Ben could hardly look at me, and when he did, whatever he might be feeling was carefully hidden behind a mask of indifference.

  Those who had insisted that he had feelings for me were proven very wrong, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little. The loss of our friendship was painful, and I felt….lost.

  These were my thoughts in this moment as I stared out the window of the study, the rain dribbling down the pane in thick rivulets. It was late afternoon, but might as well have been night for how dark the day was.

  The house was empty, my siblings having gone to town with Brynmor, Madox, and Darius. Mother was gone...somewhere, probably dancing in the rain or some other form of lunacy...Father had left an hour ago for a quick trip to the small blacksmith shop down the road leaving just Ben and I in the house.

  Derryth had taken ill in the morning and would not be coming by to make dinner, hence the trip the others took to the Stag though I politely declined, not feeling particularly hungry. I used the excuse of having a pile of paperwork and ledgers to look through, though mostly I simply wanted to be alone.

  The pile of paperwork remained in front of me, untouched, and my mind was unable to cease its wandering so I sat at the desk, staring out the window with a glum look.

  The sound of movement in the other room finally penetrated my thoughts and I got up from the chair, pausing in the doorway to the study as I saw Ben packing his things. He was clad in his old leather jerkin and pants, now mended, It took a moment for the truth to sink in, my jaw finally dropping a little as I blurted out. “You’re leaving?”

  His head snapped around, startled, though his features hardened a moment later, making his determination to leave abundantly clear. He would not be talked out of it, I knew the man’s stubborn nature all too well. “Yes.” He grunted at me, hints of anger in his tone. “I cannot stay any longer.”

  His words cut like the sharpest of blades, the hurt they caused surprisingly potent for all my efforts to keep from feeling anything for the man. “So...what is this, then? You are quitting?” My jaw clenched tightly against the surge of pain and anger though me at the thought of him being gone. “You can’t go. You aren’t healed yet.” I argued stubbornly.

  “I have healed enough.” He growled, shoving the linen pants and cotton shirt into his pack. He sat slowly, clearly struggling with the movement but he would not be deterred from pulling his boots on, regardless of the pain he was in.

  “You aren’t healed enough, Ben.” I spoke firmly, my anger filtering through to my tone. “You can barely dress yourself. Can you sit a horse? Can you ride the distance to town? Can you walk the length from the stables to the door of the Stag?” My voice slowly began to rise, anger turning to desperation to have him stay. “You cannot go!”

  “I cannot stay!” He finally exploded. “I cannot stay here with you!” He turned back to his task, fuming, and I fell dead silent, those words cutting deeply. Am I truly so terrible to be around? Had he grown to dislike me so much he would rather risk further injury than stay where I was?

  “Then you are released from your duties to this House.” My voice was thick with my inability to breathe, and I turned and walked out the door and into the pouring rain. I had no coat, wearing only a linen dress and within moments, wished I had thought to grab one as the rain quickly began to soak the cloth and raise the gooseflesh on my arms.

  I rounded the corner of the house as tears began to pool in my eyes, and I fully intending to stay out by the pond until Ben had gone to avoid any further hurt, and that is when I saw him.

  The man lay crumpled up in the muddy grass, face down in a pool of congealing blood, now thick and slick and clinging to the grass. I let out a strangled gasp, a me
mory of finding Ben in much the same way filling my entire being with ice. I stared at the man, knowing that coat….the boots….

  Any remaining doubt that our family was cursed fled and I knew the truth. A hoarse cry left me as I ran to the man, tears beginning to flow down my cheeks and lost to the rain that pelted at me. I dropped to my knees beside him, grabbing his shoulder and pulling his cold and rigored body over and into my lap.

  Father’s vacant stare found the sky, his clear blue eyes that had been filled with life and humor were now cloudy in death, devoid of everything that made him special. One hand instinctively pressed to the crescent shaped slash that marked his neck as though it wasn’t yet too late to save him. “Somebody help!” I screamed, refusing to acknowledge that he was gone. “HELP ME!” I wailed into the skies before looking down at the lifeless form of my father.

  Blood soaked his coat and shirt, staining my dress as I pulled him tightly against my torso. The pouring rain slowly cleansed him from the blood and the mud he had just lain in though I doubted even the heaviest downpour could wash away the stain of death. He had been murdered. Who would do this? And why?

  Ben came slowly around the corner of the cottage, pressing a hand to the wall of the cottage for support. His face was creased with worry, though when he saw me holding Father’s body in my lap, the worry turned to sorrow for a split second before his visage grew hard and he began to search the surrounding area with narrowed eyes. It only then occurred to me that the assassin might still be present, and I might be in danger. If he was, and he came out, Ben would not be able to save me.