Sinister Sprinkles

by Jessica Beck

  After a moment, he composed himself and said, “I guess what it all boils down to is that I’m still in love with my wife. Before you say a word, I know how crazy it sounds. Don’t think I don’t realize she’s not coming back. When she died, my heart couldn’t let her go. I thought I could make a fresh start of it with you, that I could get my life back, but her memory is just too strong. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

  And then he did start to cry, something that was hard to imagine from this tough state police inspector. I moved toward him and hugged Jake, stroking the back of his head as he cried softly, and to my surprise, I found my tears suddenly joining his.

  After what seemed like forever, I stroked his hair for the last time and said, “Jake, don’t feel bad about this. You can’t help what’s in your heart. I’m just sorry it didn’t work out between us.”

  “So am I, Suzanne. More than you’ll ever know.”

  He wiped the tears away from his cheeks with the back of his hand, started to touch mine, but then pulled away at the last second. After a moment, he said, “I really do need to be going. I’m sorry I can’t stay.”

  “What’s so important in Asheville? I figured you might be called on to investigate the murder here in town.”

  “I was, originally. But as I drove here from Raleigh, a town councilman was murdered in his office in Asheville, and April Springs got bumped.”

  I walked him to the door with a heaviness overtaking my heart with every step.

  We said a nearly silent good-bye, and then he was gone.

  As his cruiser pulled out of the driveway, I let out another stream of tears before I finally got my emotions back together. I was really crying more for what might have been than because Jake had just broken up with me. We’d dated enough so that we were comfortable with each other, but I’d never been sure that he’d end up being the great love of my life. I’d tried and failed to make a marriage work with Max, and for a long time, I’d told myself that I was through with that particular institution, but lately, I wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t that I needed a man in my life—I managed just fine on my own—but I seemed to be happier when there was someone I could look forward to seeing, even on the unpredictable basis my relationship with Jake had been founded on.

  I dried my tears, then went into the powder room to dash cold water on my face before I walked into the kitchen. I was nearly at the door, but paused to take a deep breath before allowing myself to face the gauntlet of Grace and my mother. I knew Jake’s reason for coming would be the elephant in the room that nobody wanted to talk about, so I decided to come clean and get it all out at once.

  “Jake just broke up with me,” I said.

  “Suzanne, I’m so sorry,” Grace said as she started toward me. “Are you all right?”

  “Not so much right now, but I will be.”

  I looked at my mother, who was shockingly silent, given the bombshell I’d just dropped. “Do you have anything to add, Momma?”

  She frowned, then asked softly, “No, but I have a question. Did he give you a reason?”

  I nodded. “He said he was still in love with his late wife. How do you compete with that?”

  My mother put down the hot pad in her hands and hugged me, with Grace half a step behind her. Momma said, “You can’t fight a ghost, Suzanne, and the sooner you found out his true feelings, the better off you are. I’m sorry, I know it’s hard, but there’s somebody out there who is just right for you. You’re a smart, strong, beautiful woman. No matter what happens, you’ll be fine.”

  Now I really wanted to cry. That kind of praise from my mother, though always implied, was barely ever spoken aloud. I hugged her, squeezing a little tighter than necessary, then I whispered, “Thank you,” into her ear.

  Momma pulled away, dabbed at a few fresh tears on my cheeks, then said, “You’re most welcome. Now, if you don’t mind, I need you to set the table. Go on, Grace, you can help her, I’ve got things under control in here now. Thanks again for your help.”

  “Glad to pitch in,” she said as we walked out into the dining room.

  “She barely let me hold a spatula in there,” Grace said softly. “That woman reigns in her domain, doesn’t she?”

  “She always has,” I said.

  Grace looked into my eyes. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m a little beat up, sure,” I said. “But I’ll be okay. Jake was right, and I think I knew it all along myself. I feel bad for him, if you want to know the truth.”

  “I guess it’s tough being haunted by someone you loved,” Grace said.

  “I didn’t say she came back as a ghost or anything.”

  “Suzanne, there are more ways of being haunted by your past than being visited by specters.” She looked at the bare table, then added, “We’d better get busy. Unless I miss my guess, dinner will soon be served.”

  “What are we having? Did you manage to get that out of her?”

  “Pork tenderloin with more of her famous garlic mashed potatoes and baby carrots. There’s some kind of banana pudding concoction for dessert. I peeked into the fridge when she had her head in the oven.” Grace smiled. “Okay, that didn’t come out right.”

  “I know there are a great many people in this world who might commit suicide, but my mother’s not one of them. Should we use the good china again?”

  “I think that’s an excellent idea,” Grace said. “After all, in a way, this is your independence day, isn’t it?”

  “I suppose so,” I said. “I’m just not sure I’m ready to be independent again.”

  “Come on,” Grace said as she nudged me. “It’ll be fun.”

  “If you say so,” I said.

  As we set the table with three settings, we avoided any more talk about Jake, or men in general. This was going to be a strictly estrogen evening, from the meal all the way to bedtime, which, given my early morning wake-up call, wouldn’t be all that long after we ate. I normally didn’t mind my hours. Well, at least I’d gotten used to them since I’d opened Donut Hearts, but it was a lot harder for me to get to bed at a decent hour while Grace was staying with us.

  I found myself nodding off after dinner as we played Scrabble, and finally, Momma said, “Suzanne, you’re putting me to sleep with all that yawning. Go to bed before you collapse from exhaustion.”

  “But what are you two going to do?” I asked, not willing to give in yet.

  “We’ll manage somehow to carry on without you,” she said with a smile.

  I looked at Grace. “I am beat. Are you really okay if I desert you?”

  “I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay up this long,” she said. “Go on, we’ll be fine. Really.”

  I wanted to argue with them, but in all honesty, I was too tired to put up much of a fight. I’d been weary before, but the break-up with Jake had taken the last ounce of energy out of me.

  I went upstairs, changed into my flannel pajamas, then went straight to sleep. I’d been concerned that worries over what had happened with Jake might keep me awake, but in a way, it was good to have closure, and I admired Jake for telling me some rather difficult news so well.

  As I drifted off, I thought more about what tomorrow might bring, and tried to focus on the possibilities for the future, instead of the realities of the past. It must have worked, and why not? I was getting good at it, since I’d given myself the speech countless times before.

  * * *

  Instead of my alarm clock waking up the next morning, I heard a voice calling me from the bedroom door. “Suzanne, are you awake?”

  I sat up and looked at my clock. I still had three minutes before it went off, and I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice when I spoke.

  “Grace, is something wrong?”

  “No. I just wanted to know if I could come to work with you this morning. My boss still wants us off the roads, so I’m free to do what I please. I’ve been threatening to tag along with you forever, so why not today? Would you
mind?”

  I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. “Come on in.”

  When she did, I saw that she was fully dressed. “I know why you’re doing this, and don’t think I don’t appreciate it, but you should change and go back to bed. I don’t need a babysitter. I’m all right.”

  “I know you are, you nit. I want to come to work with you today and see how donuts are really made. What’s the matter? Don’t you want me to come?”

  “Sure, if you’re serious,” I said as I stifled a yawn.

  I could see her grin from the light coming in from the hallway.

  She said, “I’m up, aren’t I? Speaking of which, why aren’t you?”

  Just then, my alarm started beeping at us. “I’m awake. Go grab two coffee mugs and I’ll be right down.”

  “Sounds great,” she said as she disappeared. Grace had been teasing me since I’d first taken command of the donut shop that she was going to join me someday, and I wondered if Jake hadn’t visited the night before if she’d be making the offer now, but I wasn’t about to turn her down. I knew Emma wouldn’t mind, or at least I didn’t think she would. Her mother came by about once a month to work with us, just to keep up to date on what we were doing, in case I took one of my rare days off from Donut Hearts. Grace shouldn’t be any problem at all.

  I pulled on jeans, a T-shirt, and a heavy sweater, then went downstairs to find Grace waiting for me with a travel mug full of coffee.

  I took a deep drink, then said, “Are you really sure you want to do this?”

  “I’m beginning to think you don’t want me,” she said.

  “No, I just think anybody who gets up in the middle of the night and doesn’t have to is insane. Let me warm up the Jeep, and we’ll be ready to go.”

  “I took care of it while you were downstairs. We didn’t get much snow last night. Maybe it’s over.”

  “It’s hard to tell around here, isn’t it?” I threw a heavy coat on over my sweater, then added, “If you’re coming, let’s go.”

  She grabbed her jacket, and we got in the Jeep and drove slowly toward the shop. A trip that usually took three minutes took us fifteen because of the slippery roads. I was glad again that I’d bought a vehicle with four-wheel drive. While it wouldn’t help on ice—nothing I knew would—it managed the snow-crusted roads fine, as long as I didn’t push my luck.

  I parked in front, smiling when I saw that Bob and Earl had yet again made sure my parking was scraped down to the asphalt.

  Grace noticed, too. “How do you rate that kind of treatment?”

  “I take care of the two men driving the snowplows,” I said. “As long as I keep them in coffee and donuts, I’ve got a clean parking lot.”

  “That’s kind of like offering them a bribe, isn’t it?” she asked as we got out of the Jeep.

  “No, it’s exactly like one,” I said. “Why, do you have a problem with that?”

  Grace laughed. “Are you kidding? We hand out bribes all the time in my business to buyers. We just call them premiums.”

  As I unlocked the front door, Grace said, “Go ahead and do your work. Act like I’m not even here, and I’ll do my best to stay out of your way. Unless you want me to help you.”

  “Thanks, but Emma and I have it covered.”

  I dragged the barstool from my office and put it in a place where she’d be out of the line of fire while Emma and I went through our morning routine.

  I flipped the fryer on, checked for messages, and wasn’t surprised to find that we didn’t have any. Not a legitimate one, anyway. There was one on the machine, but it consisted of thirty seconds of breathing, and then a hang-up. That happened more than I cared to think about.

  I heard voices in the kitchen, so I poked my head out of my office and saw that Emma had arrived.

  She looked at me steadily as she said, “I didn’t realize we’d have someone with us today.”

  “I came to watch you two work,” Grace said. “I think it’s fascinating.”

  “Okay,” Emma said, “if you say so.”

  As we started to prepare our cake donut mixes, Grace kept up a constant chatter. I didn’t mind it, but it was pretty clear that Emma wasn’t all that happy about us having company. That was just tough. Donut Hearts was still mine, and as long as it was, my friends would be welcome. I fried the old-fashioned donuts, Emma added the glaze, and Grace kept up a running commentary, bombarding us with questions as we worked. I added plain cake batter to the donut dropper, a metal contraption that resembled a large steel funnel. A spring-operated piece dropped a perfect ring of batter into the oil every time, but it was a dangerous tool to use around other people.

  “You need to go out into the front area for a few minutes,” I instructed Grace.

  “I’m sorry. Am I being too chatty?”

  I thought I saw Emma nod, but I didn’t think Grace caught it. “No, I have to swing this around to get the batter to drop, and I don’t want to take any chances that it might slip out of my hand.”

  She looked surprised by my confession. “Does that happen often?”

  Before I could answer, Emma pointed to a spot on the wall just on the other side of Grace’s head. “That’s where she threw it the last time it slipped, so I’d take her advice and leave.”

  Seeing the gash in the drywall was all that Grace needed. “I’ll be in front if you need me.”

  After she was gone, I put the donut dropper on the counter and looked hard at Emma. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?”

  “What?” she asked. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

  “It happened the third day the shop was open,” I said. “And that’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

  Emma pretended to wipe down the counter beside the glazing area, though I’d seen her clean it twice already. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

  “Your attitude. Why are you being so distant with Grace?”

  Emma frowned, then said, “What should I do, welcome her with open arms?”

  “That would be nice,” I said.

  “No, thanks. If you want to train somebody to take my place, fine. But don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

  I couldn’t help myself, I laughed out loud.

  Emma misinterpreted it, though. “You think it’s funny?”

  “Emma, dear, sweet Emma, Grace has no interest in taking your job, and even if she did, I wouldn’t hire her. Your place here is yours as long as you want it.”

  She looked at me carefully, then asked softly, “Is that the truth, or are you just trying to save my feelings?”

  “Believe me, it’s the complete and utter truth.”

  Emma frowned at me, then looked toward the front. “Then why is she here?”

  “She stayed all night with me, and she’s been threatening to come in since I opened this place. Trust me, Grace has no interest in replacing either one of us.” I didn’t mention that my best friend made more in a few days than I cleared in a month, and she didn’t work a tenth as much as I did.

  She’d be insane to quit her job to come work for me.

  “I guess I owe her an apology, then,” Emma said.

  “It wouldn’t be out of order,” I said. She really hadn’t been openly rude to Grace, but I didn’t want there to be bad blood between them.

  “I’ll take care of it right now.”

  She disappeared into the front room, and I dropped in a batch of old fashioned donuts. I hadn’t even turned them when Emma came back into the kitchen. That had to be the briefest apology in the history of mankind, but I was busy with donuts frying in scalding oil at the moment, and I didn’t want to get into it until they were out of their sizzling bath.

  As I pulled the finished donuts out of the fryer with my beefed up chopsticks, Emma was ready with the glaze.

  Before I added another dollop of batter to the dropper, I said, “That didn’t take long, did it?”

  “I didn’t apologize,” Emma said.

  “Hang on
a second. I thought we agreed that would be the right thing to do. Why did you change your mind between here and there?”

  “Go out and see for yourself,” Emma said with a smile.

  I walked through the kitchen door, and for a second, it looked like Grace was gone. Then I noticed her feet sticking out beyond the edge of one of my couches, and as soon as I spotted her, I heard a gentle snore.

  She’d fallen asleep in less time than it took to fry a donut, a feat that would have been a record in my book.

  I came back in and saw that Emma was grinning. “I didn’t have the heart to wake her up.”

  “That’s fine,” I said. “But you’re still going to apologize to her, right?”

  “I’m glad to,” Emma said. “Why is it so important to you?”

  I hugged her shoulder. “Because I don’t want to see two of my best friends fighting, especially when it’s not necessary.”

  Emma looked at me oddly. “Is that true?”

  “Of course it’s true. You know how much I hate confrontation.”

  “I’m not talking about that part,” she said, her gaze never leaving mine. “I mean the part about us being friends.”

  “Absolutely. I like to think we’re more than just two people who work together. Why, am I being presumptuous?”

  “No, I think of you as a friend, too. I just never said it out loud.”

  I smiled at her. “Well then, it’s high time you did, wouldn’t you say?” I picked the donut dropper back up, then said, “Let’s get back to work, shall we?”

  “I’m ready,” she said, and as she ducked into my office, I slung the dropper back and forth a few times, driving the batter into the bottom.

  “Clear,” I called out as I started dropping fresh rings of batter into the oil, and Emma came out to get to work on the next phase of our operation. As I finished the cake donuts, she got the ingredients out for the glazed dough. We slid into our routine without a misstep, and I was sorry Grace couldn’t see us. It was like a choreographed dance, one that had grown out of practice six days a week for the past few years.

  Finally, it was time for our break.

  Emma asked, “Should we just stay back here so we don’t wake Grace?”