Life Is A Foreign Language

by Rayne E. Golay

  In the evening when she prepared for bed, she was about to take off his ring—then changed her mind and left it on her finger. It united her to Michael.

  Chapter 43

  At long last, the day arrived. Nina had hoped and despaired, planned and reflected; finally, Morgan and Natalie were to arrive. Tonight she would drive to the airport to pick them up, and she would have them to herself for a whole month.

  Their room was ready, the one next to her own with the bathroom just across the corridor. She opened the door to the guest bedroom and was met with the sun streaming in through the window, reflecting off the lacquered white furniture with purple comforters, the color repeated in the lampshades.

  Too restless to wait at home, she drove to the airport early. She got a decaf at Starbucks’ kiosk just before it closed for the night and walked the corridors until she saw on the monitor that the plane had landed.

  And there they were. Morgan and Natalie—a bit bleary eyed, but both smiling their sweet smiles, strands of blond hair escaping their ponytails.

  “Oh my darlings. Come, hug hard.” And she enfolded them both in her arms, crying and laughing.

  “Mami, it’s great to see you and it’s wonderful to be here.”

  After they collected the luggage, Nina led them to the car. When the sliding doors opened and they were met with a gust of hot air both girls stopped, drew air in their lungs and grinned.

  “You said it would to be hot. It’s very hot, Mami.”

  “Yes, and it’s late evening. You’ll soon find out what it’s like in the daytime.”

  The highlight of their stay, they both agreed was the day spent on board Michael’s yacht, Mellow Yellow, which now belonged to Brian.

  They left before sunrise. Once in the car, the twins promptly fell asleep and woke up when they arrived at Everglade City. A narrow path led to the sleek, beautiful craft. Brian cast off and steered into the Gulf. He was knowledgeable, pointing and naming various spots of interest.

  “See the bird over there, at three o’clock—it’s an ibis. The trees and shrubs you see all over are mostly mangrove. Native Americans call them ‘the walking trees’.”

  Morgan giggled. “What a strange name. Do they really walk?”

  Brian shook his head. “No, they don’t, but they grow their roots from the air into the water, so it looks as if they walk.”

  A movement behind Brian caught Nina’s attention. She kept her eyes trained on the spot, but saw only a cerulean blue expanse of water. But no, there, was a slight movement again.

  She pointed. “Look over there. Something’s jumping, like a big fish.”

  Brian turned. Scanning the water for a while a broad smile lit up his tanned face. “We’re in luck. They’re dolphins.” He kneeled on the bench, slapping the flat of his hand against the hull.

  “Why do you tap like that?” Natalie asked.

  “It’s to attract the dolphins to us. We could scare them off by approaching them, but the tapping attracts them. I’ll turn on the engines only if they come close enough.”

  And there they were. A school of them! Graceful. Sleek. Fluid. Sheer beauty and harmony.

  “Why, they’re a muddy brown,” Nina said. “I thought they were silvery grey, like steel. And they’re much smaller than I imagined.”

  The girls leaned over the railing in their excitement. “Gee, this is great. Real dolphins. Look at the way they swim.”

  “These are mostly young ones,” Brian said. See the scars on them?”

  They all leaned over the rail the better to see.

  Brian laughed, and grabbed Morgan by the waist of her shorts. “Don’t fallin.”

  “How did they get the scars?”

  “When they feed, they fight and injure each other. The older ones get the scars also when they’re mating.”

  “Can we go in the water to swim with them?”

  Brian gave them a stern look. “Absolutely not. These are wild animals; if they feel threatened, they bite, and we humans have to learn to respect their habitat.”

  The dolphins were everywhere. They surrounded the yacht, swimming ahead, then stopped to look back, checking if the yacht followed. They turned around, swam back to catch up to the yacht, and then swam in front her again.

  Nina laughed. “They try to race us.”

  “Yes, they want to play.” Brian started the engines and slowly, in low gear he steered deeper into the Gulf. Some of the dolphins swam ahead of them, while others kept pace alongside the yacht.

  The girls shouted with glee as the dolphins jumped high in the air. The more daring of them dived so close to the yacht they almost hit the sides. The dolphins drenched them with salt spray when their graceful bodies struck water. Like a game of tag, the dolphins ran in front of the yacht, some disappearing under her. The braver ones came so close to the propellers Nina held her breath from fear they’d injure themselves. They swam alongside the yacht, slightly bumping the sides in playful carelessness.

  Morgan pointed. “Look at the one swimming on it’s side. It seems to wink its eye at us.”

  “This is so much fun!” Natalie shouted to be heard.

  They played with the dolphins for a good while, until Brian turned the yacht around and headed for land. The dolphins kept pace with the craft for part of the way, but soon they dropped back and disappeared, one after the other.

  “I wish they would have stayed with us a bit longer,” Morgan said, wiping her wet face with a paper towel.

  They spent three days at Disney World and Epcot Center. Nina took the twins to visit a butterfly farm at the botanical garden in Sarasota. And they took lessons and got their driving licenses. Their high energy exhausted Nina. She fell into bed every evening and slept like the dead, but she wouldn’t have missed this time with them for the world.

  “A month isn’t a long time when we’re having fun,” Natalie said. She ate the last spoonful of her gooey dessert. “It’s gone by in a blink. I’ve had so much fun.”

  “What did you like the most?” Nina asked.

  Morgan took Nina’s hand and played with her fingers. “I think it was the dolphins. Everything’s been wonderful, but I loved the dolphins.”

  “And you, Natalie?”

  She leaned chin in hand. “Everything. I liked babysitting little Michaela. Most of all I loved being with you, Mami.” She averted her eyes. Her voice was almost lost in the noisy restaurant. “I’m going to miss you so much. It’s not fair that we can’t be with you all the time, like before.”

  “I know, cherie. It makes me sad to let you go, but that’s the way things are. Even when I lived in Annecy, I worked and traveled often. We’ve been privileged to spend an uninterrupted month together. I’ll visit you in Annecy, and you’ll come back.”

  When Nina saw them off at the airport the next day, she felt orphaned all over again—hollow, as if a piece of her soul had been scooped out. The silence in the house was piercing.

  She knew the antidote to loneliness was work; the time she spent at the clinic was rewarding, but she needed more. Since she’d retired writing had helped her over many emotional upheavals. After a detailed outline, she started writing her second novel. In early fall she signed up for yoga lessons.

  “It goes together with meditation and spiritual guidance,” she said to Sophie one evening when they met to catch up with each other.

  “It does. I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

  And Nina cherished the times she spent with Michaela.

  Chapter 44

  A few minutes past six on this mid-November evening darkness fell early. The days were sunny and pleasantly warm with lower humidity, the nights chilly enough for jeans and a sweater. Nina had been in Florida during the spring and summer, but late fall was a new experience of colors and flowers and lights. Memories were no
t less painful because she hadn’t been together with Michael in fall and winter; she missed him just as much in the unfamiliar places.

  Getting out of the car, she leaned into the gusty and chilly northeasterly wind, taking long strides to the door of the Center of Light. Today wasn’t her regular meditation session, but with Thanksgiving only a week away, her schedule was crammed and she wouldn’t be able to attend further meetings before sometime in January. Wanting to spend a few minutes with Oren, she had made this appointment.

  “Hello. Come in,” Oren said as she opened the door. They hugged, as always.

  Softly, he patted her on the back. “Are you cold? Care for some tea?”

  “I’m not cold, but tea would be nice.”

  “Right away.” He went to the kitchenette behind the large assembly room and returned moments later with a mug of steaming herb tea. They sat side by side in front of his desk, a habit by now. Since the first meeting when she came to check him out, she had continued seeing him weekly. There was no telling how she would have fared after Michael was taken from her if it weren’t for the spiritual convictions Oren shared with her; they sustained her in her darkest moments.

  Oren touched her arm. “What’s so urgent it couldn’t wait till tonight when I’ll come over to your house?”

  “I may not get the opportunity to talk to you tonight. This is a period of thanksgiving—I want to express my gratitude for all you’ve done for me.”

  His gaze was intense. “You’re welcome. It’s been a privilege to see you through these months after Michael passed away.”

  She sipped her tea, sweet with a taste of oranges and mint. “Michael inspired me to search the spiritual path, as if he knew that one day I would need it more than food and drink. It’s helped me to start healing.”

  Oren nodded. “Your work at the clinic must help, too. In moments of deep distress it can be difficult to take action, but idleness is lethal to the soul. You’ve worked hard, and it’s served you.” He laughed, a sound deep in his throat. “Nothing makes you forget your own problems more than working with others, keeping the focus off yourself. You’ve done that, and it’s been fruitful. You’re getting better.”

  “I love the work at the clinic. It’s a privilege to see my patients recover, to observe them discover life again. I can still make a contribution, and it’s wonderful.” She thought for a moment. “You’re right, I am getting better. But there are moments when I balk, when I want to hurt and suffer, as if I betray Michael by getting well.”

  “That’s completely natural, wanting to hang on to pain, as if the suffering would allow you to hold on to him. You know what Michael would have said—get on with your life, a bit at a time.”

  She nodded. Oren was right; Michael wouldn’t have wanted her to grieve and not live, not make a contribution to life.

  Spirituality, faith in a Supreme Being, had transformed Nina’s life. There was still so much she needed to know, to integrate into her lifestyle. She had barely taken the first steps on the journey, but there was no hurry, she had time on her side.

  Together they crossed the floor to the front door. “I’m dying from curiosity to know what this evening is about,” he said.

  She didn’t answer. Smiling, she waved. “See you tonight.”

  Usually, Nina spent at least an hour with Oren, but today was different; she had a big evening ahead of her.

  She had a party planned!

  Two weeks earlier when Nina had received the news over the phone, she had pressed the handset to her chest with both hands. Letting it drop on the kitchen counter, she had rushed out of the house, dashed across the street and through the yard to enter Brian and Samantha’s house from the lanai, too impatient for doorbells.

  “Good! You’re both here. I did it! I made it!”

  “What did you do?” Brian asked.

  Samantha hurried to where Nina danced from one foot to the other. “Tell us calmly. What happened?”

  “’Let’s break out the booze, and have a ball!’” Nina sang. And then she told them. She made them promise not to say a word to a soul, so she could make the announcement in her own way.

  Immediately they had started making plans for a party. A few days later, as she was sitting with Samantha in her office preparing the guest list, Nina had second thoughts.

  “Do you think it’s too early to have a party?” she asked Samantha. “It’s only six months since Michael was taken from us.”

  Samantha patted her hand on the desk littered with lists, address books and invitation card. “I honestly don’t think it’s too early. Michael loved life; he’d want you to celebrate.”

  For a minute Nina closed her eyes against the tears that threatened. “I guess you’re right.

  He didn’t believe in hanging on to the past.”

  Everybody Nina had invited was there—Michael’s sons and their wives; Sophie for sure; Craig, Wanda, and others from the clinic. Marley arrived, his knitted cap a bright orange to match his shirt. Oren and Barry came, as hearty and warm as ever. Paul, his companion couldn’t attend because of his schedule; he sent a lovely flower arrangement that had center place on the table. Nina had invited some friends from the meditation group, also. Pleased to be together, happy to have an excuse to party they all wondered what Nina was up to.

  “You look great,” Barry said and hugged her. “Life must agree with you.”

  Her eyes met his. “On and off. There are still more downs than ups.”

  She glanced at her watch. Almost eight—time for her special guest, the person she had asked to arrive late, so she could introduce him when everybody had gathered. Her surprise visitor was to announce the big news, the reason for this party.

  Brian came to her side. “Wait for me. Don’t tell them yet.”

  “Where are you going? Don’t leave now, my surprise is …”

  Before she could finish the sentence, he was out the door. “I’ll be right back.”

  Barely a few minutes after Brian left, the doorbell rang. There he is, that’s him. In her most dignified and ladylike manner she walked to the door, heart hammering, hands moist. Everybody’s eyes were on her, curious to see who the guest

  Nina opened the door wide. The words of welcome stuck in her throat, her eyes blurred. She was a bit dizzy, and her knees buckled.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered.

  A throaty laughter she knew so well. “No, it’s only me, Danny.”

  “And me, Lillian.” The greeting like a sing-song.

  Nina stared. Then she threw her arms around them, holding them, trying to hug them both, kissed their cheeks, foreheads and eyes. She took a step back to make sure this was real. Her daughter. Her son. Both come to celebrate Nina’s success.

  Danny laughed. His green eyes sparkled.

  “Danny! My little man. Goodness, I can’t believe it. How come you’re here?” She pressed her hands against her breast. “And Lillian, how could you get away? What about your job? And the twins?”

  Lillian put an arm around Nina’s shoulders, hugging her. “Simple, Mami. When Brian called to give us the news, saying that you were planning a party, we decided we couldn’t possibly let you do this without us to make sure you did it right.” She laughed, mischief stamped on her face.

  Danny pulled Nina close. “The same goes for me, too. Brian called me and gave the great news. When he told me you would throw a party, I talked to Lillian—we decided this couldn’t happen to our Mami without us being present. We’ve both taken a few days off and…. Here we are!”

  Nina took their hands, brushing her lips first on one, then the other. “I’m so very happy you’re both here. In my wildest dreams I wouldn’t have dared hope that you’d be here.” She couldn’t stop smiling. “I didn’t tell either of you because I didn’t want this to leak out before it’s been a
nnounced. I was going to call you both later tonight.”

  She was so happy she didn’t try to stop the tears. “I’m speechless. All I can say is thank you for coming.” Dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, she hooked her arms in theirs. “Come, let me introduce you.”

  Scanning the room she saw Sophie in deep conversation with Craig and steered them in her direction.

  “Sorry for interrupting. Sophie, I’d like you to meet Lillian, my daughter, and Danny, my son.” She glanced at her children. “I’ve often mentioned Sophie, my dear friend who’s always been there when I’ve needed a hand to hold.”

  “Happy to meet you, Lillian, Danny. Now I have faces to put to the names your mother keeps talking about.” Nodding at Nina. “Do you know what she has up her sleeve? We’re all dying a slow death from curiosity?”

  Danny’s smile was impish. “Nice to meet you, too. We’re here for a couple of days, so I hope we’ll have a chance to get to know each other.”

  Brian returned; he was too far away, but when Nina caught his eye she clasped her hands in the air above her head to signal “thank you,” It would have to do for now. Again she scanned the room.

  She pointed. “Over there, by the table. Follow me.” She made her way through the cluster of people. “Chris, Peter, I’d like you to meet my daughter, Lillian, and my son, Danny.” She linked arms with Lillian and Danny. “Meet Chris and Peter, Michael’s younger sons.” Having made the introductions she watched as they shook hands, smiling, talking, at ease as if they’d know each other for a long time. Michael should be with me right now when our children meet. Sighing, she kept blinking against the tears.

  Only minutes later the doorbell rang again; Nina’s special guest had arrived. She went to the porch to wish him welcome, to do some quiet plotting. Taking his arm, she led him inside among the crowd of people. He took the glass of champagne she handed him.