“If I have, it’s no more than he deserves,” Noel gritted out savagely. “I ought to have killed the swine for what he’s put you through.” He added something under his breath which Lorraine was not meant to hear.
Judith Brown was fully occupied recoiling in fascinated horror from the spectacle that Jamie presented. “He looks very bloody,” she observed. “He’ll be scarred for life.”
“I always did say he was too beautiful for a man. He’ll probably look better for it. I certainly feel better for it,” Noel said unrepentantly, nursing his knuckles. “Phone someone to get him removed, Judith.”
She did so at once, phoning for an ambulance, and when it arrived she volunteered to go with Jamie to the hospital.
Noel came back from seeing them off at the door. Lorraine was attempting to clear up the broken china.
“Leave it,” he instructed, lifting her from her kneeling position and taking her into his arms.
They had been through a highly emotional ordeal. The trauma of months was in the shaking of her limbs and the unsteadiness of his voice as he said, “My darling, I’ve put you through unforgivable torture. I should have believed you. I shouldn’t have behaved the way I did. I don’t know how to begin to say I’m sorry.”
Her fingers closed over his mouth. “Don’t try. The nightmare is over. That’s all that matters.” She shuddered, not in fear or horror, but in intense and wonderful relief. “I’m not married to Jamie! That’s almost too wonderful to believe. Ending a marriage is so sad. I should have felt hollow, somehow, even though Jamie and I never had a proper marriage in the first place. I don’t even feel vindictive toward Jamie anymore. I’m far too happy. I feel rather sorry for him, because what he said is true – he can’t help the way he’s made. Poor Jamie. If you feel as though you can keep him under contract, I’d be quite pleased. I’d like to think he had a chance to make something of himself.”
“You’re incredible! I’m afraid I’m less forgiving than you. I’ll think about it, but I’m making no rash promises,” he said. “I’ll get my solicitor to make sure that you’re in the clear – a mere formality to keep on the right side of the law – and then, if you’ll have me, we’ll get married. My love, please say yes. Show me the same forgiveness that you’ve shown to Jamie. Give me the chance you would have me give him. Let me make it up to you for how badly I’ve treated you.”
“Oh, Noel, of course, my answer is yes.”
“Thank God for that, even though I don’t deserve you. I’ve been so eaten up with jealousy that I haven’t been able to see straight. I’ve gone through hell imagining what you were to Sir William. That night when you went outside with him at the Cabana and brought him back to our table, I could barely talk civilly to him. Last night when you told me you were married to Jamie Gray I thought I would go mad. I know now that my obsession with wanting to be the first man to know you was unreasonable. I don’t mind now that I’m not the first – I just want to be the last.”
“You’re tormenting yourself unnecessarily. I’ve tried to tell you so many times. You will be the first, and the last. Jamie was involved in rehearsals immediately after that bogus marriage ceremony, and we hadn’t slept together before then. That’s the truth.”
“Oh, my darling,” he said, gathering her closer, “I’m the luckiest of men. The fire under the snow. Mine to discover. I’ll keep it lovingly tended. I’ll devote the rest of my life to doing just that. It will never burn out.”
His mouth sought hers, as though sealing a pledge. It was the most heady delight to be able to indulge the tumultuous craving inside her instead of fighting to repulse it. Her lips returned his kisses with fervor and total abandon. All restrictions removed, nothing to inhibit or restrain her, her fingers flattened against the muscular hardness of his chest, dragging upward to link around his neck.
The closeness of her body stole his voice away and left him with only a husky remnant to whisper endearments in her ear, every word, every syllable accompanied by a caress.
His hands were tender, sweet torment and it was even more wildly wonderful than she had imagined it could be. As her longing flared, she strained closer still. She felt the unmistakable response of his body and knew that they were rapidly reaching a point where kisses and caresses would not be enough.
He held her away for a moment to look at her face, which glowed with golden rapture. He took it in his hands and his eyes hallowed every facet of her expression; his voice was broken and ragged as he said, “I love you. I adore you. I worship you.”
“Not on a pedestal,” she pleaded hoarsely. “Don’t ever put me up there again.”
“I won’t. I can safely promise that. I won’t ever allow your sweet body to be that far away – from the moment I’ve put a ring on your finger. Until then I’m going to have to hold you at arm’s length.”
“You don’t have to.”
A tortured groan came from his lips. “You know what you’re saying, don’t you?”
She nodded without shame. “I’m saying I want to take up from where we left off last night.”
He groaned softly. “So do I. You only just told me in time that you are a virgin. I’ve a feeling that if you’d put it off any longer I would have found out for myself. As it is, I must wait, however much of a strain I find it. Heaven will bless this marriage, and I’m not going to do anything to defile it. It’s important for it to be right from the very beginning, because it’s going to last us a lifetime.”
“I wouldn’t have told you if I’d known,” she said, but she was secretly pleased, because his strong views on the subject matched her own. “Noel, there’s something I want to ask you, something that would please me very much.”
“I’ll grant any wish but one. I won’t agree to a long engagement.”
“A long engagement wouldn’t be a wish; it would be a curse. I’ll marry you as quickly as it can be arranged.”
He laughed in delight at that and said, “So what do you want, my darling?”
Not quite sure how he would take this, she said hesitantly, “In cases like mine, when the bride hasn’t got a father, it’s customary to ask a favorite uncle to give her away. I haven’t got one of those, either. So – please don’t be angry – I’d like Sir William. He’s the nearest to an uncle I’ve got. And pretty soon, if Aunt Leonora will have him, he will be my uncle.”
“I don’t know whether it’s because you’ve worded it so cleverly or because I find it difficult to refuse you anything when you’re this close. You have my permission to ask Sir William. Now, why don’t you phone Leonora and tell her the news? While you’re about it, you can give my mother a shock, in the nicest possible sense. Call her and introduce yourself as her soon-to-be daughter-in-law.”
“May I? I’d love that. What will you do?”
“I’ll listen to you, gloat, look at you. If I can’t have you, I can anticipate.” But instead of releasing her, his hold tightened. “You wouldn’t deny me a little something to keep me going, would you?”
Her response to his kiss told him, more eloquently than words, that she would deny him nothing.
Fire Under Snow Page 16