Free to Dream

by Tracey Jerald

  As the door closes, I realize I’ve waited my whole life for this moment, for this woman.

  I only pray to God I don’t fuck it up.

  Any more than I already have.

  20

  Cassidy

  I know Caleb Lockwood is going to be my first lover. Whether he’s aware of it or not, I’ve already handed him my heart and soul. My body is simply his to claim.

  I shiver in anticipation, thinking of what happened on the rooftop. I never imagined it would feel so natural, so primal, so instinctive. It must be the combination of nurturing and trust he’s shown me.

  Let’s not forget the man is sexy as hell.

  I stand in the middle of his bedroom absorbing more of his essence simply by being in this space where he sleeps. Surprisingly, I’m not nervous. This strange calm has settled over me. With my hands clasped in front of me, I look around and glimpse a rich red armoire, his deep mahogany bed, and the midnight medallion velvet quilt over crisp white sheets before feeling strong arms slide around my waist from behind. They tighten and pull me close against his broad chest. I tip my head back as he leans down to nip and suck at the exposed skin between my neck and shoulder. I get a whiff of the rich cologne he’s wearing.

  Oh. My. God.

  “You have to talk to me through this, Cassidy,” Caleb murmurs against my neck. “I need to know where you’re at.”

  “Here’s good.”

  Chills run through my body as he soothes the area with his tongue.

  “Good.” I feel his smile against my neck.

  My nipples, though they had softened slightly from before when they were rubbing up against his muscular chest, were tightening again. And they weren’t even being touched.

  I slide my hand to wrap around the back of his neck, tangling it in his thick hair. One hand slides down to my hips and he slowly begins to rock into me. The other travels north toward my cashmere-encased breasts. Slowly, he starts strumming his thumb against my rigid nipple while still working the tendon on the side of my neck.

  I gasp at his movements before letting out a soft moan of desire that can’t be misunderstood.

  My hand drops from his neck and I reach around the back of him, reaching for him. He quickly moves the hand from my thigh and captures my hands before they can reach their target, his rock-hard body.

  I turn my head farther and twist slightly. Our eyes meet. I’m panting. His gaze is banked in fire.

  I want the blaze.

  “Let me touch you,” I whisper.

  “I can’t.” His voice is jagged.

  “Please.” I’m almost begging.

  “Cassidy,” he breathes. “I want to make this as beautiful for you as I can. I don’t want to lose control.”

  Wiggling around so I face him, I pull my hands free and place them on his biceps. His chest is moving up and down under his untucked polo. I can feel his tension under my fingers.

  Instinctively, I reach for the hem of my sweater and pull it over my head. Once my hair clears, I toss it somewhere. Frankly, I could care less where it goes. I’m now standing in front of the man I love in a sheer black bra that leaves nothing to the imagination. His eyes fly to mine, incredulous I pulled such a move. I shrug.

  “Lose the control, Caleb. I trust you.”

  I’ve never seen a myriad of expressions cross someone’s face in such a short span of time. Hot, heavy desire, anticipation, and tenderness are all projected at me. “You trust me.” It’s a statement, not a question.

  I nod, not quite sure how else to show him.

  Reaching up, he pushes my hair back over my shoulder. His fingers trail down over my clavicle toward my breast, cupping my fullness, outlining my nipple through the sheer material. The bite of the material against my sensitive skin causes me to throw my head back and moan. My legs feel weak and they buckle, but he catches me.

  “You trust me.” He repeats again, his dark gaze capturing mine. He leans down so his eyes are the only things I can see before his lips crash against mine. His tongue thrusts into my mouth, his fingers still playing with my nipple, his hips rocking against mine. My fingers lock behind his neck, trailing into the collar of his shirt. I need the feel of his skin against mine. My body is begging for him.

  Breaking away from the kiss, he holds me tight against him, cradling my head against his hard chest. I can feel his erection against my stomach. Caleb’s heart is pounding as he rocks our bodies back and forth. “You trust me,” he sighs.

  He nuzzles the top of my hair, and his hands slide down to cup my ass, lifting me into a kiss so tender, a tear trickles down my cheek. He notices and brushes it away with his thumb.

  Releasing me, he pulls off his polo. As his abs come into view, I try to take in a deep breath, but I can’t fill my lungs. Oh my god. This is happening. With Caleb. Now.

  As his head clears the shirt, he pulls his arms out and immediately reaches for me again. I hold up a hand and he immediately pauses, waiting to see if I’m okay. I just want to look at him. All right, I know I’m lying. I know I’m going to touch.

  Pulling my lower lip between my teeth, I start at the waistband of his jeans. They’re riding low, so the band of his black boxer briefs are visible. I reach out with my finger, tracing the line softly. His skin is like warm steel, and the little trail of hair tracking down toward his cock has me intrigued.

  I’m so focused on that spot, I catch his cock twitch inside his jeans. The moment that happens, I feel him inhale so harshly, my eyes fly up.

  His eyes are almost black with passion. His arms are at his sides, his hands fisted to keep from reaching for me while I explore his body. The veins in his arms are popping a little as he holds himself back from touching me.

  I step closer, not the least bit afraid of this man. Both of my hands rest on his lower stomach. His harsh growl echoes through the room as my hands slowly rise up over each ripple of his abdomen to his chest.

  I want to know if his nipples are as sensitive as mine are.

  When I reach his pecs, I raise my gaze and meet his eyes. I wanted a blaze.

  I think I just unleashed an inferno.

  “Cassidy.” Just my name, but a warning.

  “Caleb?” Just his name, but a question.

  “Baby, I know you trust me, but I’m hanging on by a thread. If you do what I think you’re going to do, your sweet ass is going to be on top of my bed about two seconds after your lips hit my chest.”

  Lips? Huh, I hadn’t thought of that.

  Seeing the intrigue on my face, he groans, even as he moves his hands from his sides to my waist. “Go ahead, baby, but then, it’s my turn to reciprocate. And Cassidy? I plan on spending a long time doing so.”

  I nod blindly. I feel like my eyes must be glazed over as they lock in on their target, his nipples. Nestled in a sprinkling of chest hair, they’re tightly puckered, waiting for my mouth to suck, my teeth to nibble, my tongue to lash.

  I don’t disappoint.

  Switching from the right to the left and back, I can’t get enough of the taste of Caleb’s hard body beneath my mouth. Tightening his grip on me, I don’t stop. I’m ravenous for the taste of this man. I’m in such a haze of desire, I don’t even realize I’m being lifted from the floor and being carried across the room until my back hits the velvet of the quilt and I’m separated from my newfound addiction.

  Caleb slides his fingers up my arms to trap my hands. His chest is heaving, and a fine film of sweat is on his body. I realize, with a little amazement, I did that to him. Me. I stare up at him with wonderment and desire as I arch my body into his. He slowly rolls his hips into mine as he buries his head into my neck.

  Thrust, retreat. Gasp, groan. I feel his thickness through his jeans, and he feels the heat beneath mine. He raises his head from my neck and looks down at me. It’s a parody of what we’re about to do.

  There’s nothing shameful here. My eyes brim over with tears. He releases my hands to use his thumbs to wipe them away. His fingertips t
rail down my face, my chest, brushing down the sides of my breasts. His weight presses into mine, stilling the wave of our movements.

  Almost too slowly, his hands drag over the sheer material along the sides of my bra, reaching the clasp in the back. I feel his fingertips along my spine as each hook and eye are undone. It isn’t until the last one is released that his eyes leave mine. They drop down to where his hands are pulling the material away from my breasts. When the material is bunched between us, obscuring his view, he taps my arms. “Lift.”

  My arms move away from my body one at a time, giving Caleb the leverage to peel the impeding material away. I bring my arms back down around his shoulders, framing him as he fully cups me. His hands smooth back and forth, inching their way closer to my dusky nipples. “Beautiful. And mine.” He lowers his head.

  As Caleb captures a nipple fully in the heated depths of his mouth, I gasp, my nails scraping through his hair, my legs shifting beneath his anxiously. He scrapes his teeth on the part closest to the areola. I shudder in reaction. He pushes the nipple to the upper roof of his mouth and begins flicking it back and forth with his tongue. I cry out. He looks up, and once he realizes it was a cry of pleasure, a sensual look crosses his face.

  Caleb lets that nipple loose with a satisfied smile. After a soft, “The other one’s lonely, Pixie,” he begins the same torment. Only this time, I’m not a passive player.

  I reach down as best I can and touch him wherever I can. I run my hands down his arms, scratching my fingers over his shoulders and nipples, earning a growl against my breast. Wow, what that does to me! I almost levitate off the bed.

  By now, I can feel the wetness dripping between my legs, preparing me for when he takes me. My sheer panties are no match for how my body is preparing myself for him. I’m moaning, trying to figure out how to push up against Caleb to relieve myself of this aching feeling. My teeth scrape against his skin. I manage to roll him over partially without dislodging my breast, and in the process, I wrap my arms around his waist, my hands finding their way into the back of his jeans. Touching the band of his boxers, feeling braver than I’ve ever been in my life, I slip my hand inside to touch his amazing ass with my bare hands.

  Suddenly, the voracious sucking stops.

  “Cassidy.” His tone is now guttural. “Baby, you have to stop.” He starts to reach behind him to move my hands up, but before he can reach them, I start to move my right hand slowly around toward the front of his hip, over smooth, hairless skin toward my goal. He traps my hand inches from his cock.

  We stare at each other a half a heartbeat before his lips are back on mine, like I’m the only water in the desert.

  Caleb rips himself from my body and stands at the edge of the bed. Our bodies are visibly shaking from the force of our desire, or from the need to be touching one another, I’m not really sure which. Probably both.

  He runs his hand over his face before saying, “I want everything to be perfect, Cassidy. You’re making it difficult with all the touching, baby. For all intents and purposes, you’re a virgin.”

  Raising myself on my elbows, unknowingly placing myself in a more provocative position, I ask disbelievingly, “Are you insane, Caleb? While I may not have your experience—”

  “You have none.” He drops his head, rubbing a hand along the back of it.

  “Not my choice.”

  “Exactly. Which is why I’m trying to—”

  “I choose you.” He freezes at my declaration, stopping whatever he was about to say. “I choose you, Caleb. You’re not going to hurt me. It’s already been beautiful and perfect, so please, let me love you too.” I hold out my hand.

  He stares at it for a moment before taking a step back toward me. “Hold on a second.”

  I drop my hand and flop back onto the bed with a drawn-out groan. He chuckles. “You’re the first woman I’ve ever brought here, Pixie.”

  My eyes shoot up to him as he makes his way over to the armoire, and I watch him grab a box of condoms. “Part of loving you is protecting you. I didn’t want to reach for one of these and not find it in an inopportune moment.”

  “Let’s go back to the first part of that statement,” I say as Caleb puts the box on the bedside table.

  He tosses the packet near the top of the bed and reaches for my legs. Pulling me by the ankles, I’m pulled to the edge of the bed. “What part? Oh, the part about you being the only woman I’ve brought here?”

  I nod, hesitantly.

  His hands smooth over my body as he reaches for the clasp of my jeans. “It’s simple, really. It’s our home. Only permanent people come here. Lift up, baby.”

  I think I stop breathing as I do as he asks. Caleb skims my jeans down my legs and tosses them over his shoulder. Watching my face, he raises his hands to the snap on his jeans.

  “Wait.” I scramble to my knees on the bed, crawling to the edge. He stops. “I want to do it,” I whisper.

  He swallows hard. Giving me a sharp nod, he reaches for my hands as he steps closer. Placing them on the button of his jeans, he says hoarsely, “Just the jeans for now, baby.”

  I nod as I bury my head into his shoulder, my hands making quick work of the snap. I can feel him nibbling on my shoulder as I work on the zipper. I’m trying to figure out how to not get his cock caught when he reaches down and clasps my hand. “It’s easier if you hold me back and undo the zipper with the other hand.” His voice is husky. “Just remember, wherever you touch, I’m going to touch as well.” After a quick nip at my ear, he holds still.

  My breathing accelerates. He’s going to let me touch him. Slowly, I slide my hand down. I hear Caleb’s rough pants in my ear as my fingers slide over his cock. Sweet Jesus, it’s both thick and fairly long. Maybe I should have practiced on something else last night. My eyes can’t meet his. He raises a shaking hand to my cheek in between his short breaths. “It’ll fit, baby. We’re going to fit so you’ll forget where you end and I begin.”

  Just him saying that has me so excited, I run my fingers up and down his shaft again, squeezing along the way. A long moan erupts next to my ear. “Cassidy. Jeans. Off. Now.”

  Oh, right. I use my other hand to reach for the tab while protecting him with my hand inside.

  Once the zipper is down, he seems to explode from his pants even through his boxer briefs. He sighs in relief as I push the jeans off, over his taut ass, and they fall to the floor.

  Caleb toes his socks off and suddenly, we’re down to two scraps of material between us.

  I hear a ripping sound, and realize my panties have been shredded. Caleb pulls the remains out from between my legs, unrepentant. “I could tell they were bothering you with how wet they were.” His grin is almost feral at this point. My jaw unhinges slightly.

  While I recover from that demonstration, he tackles me back onto the bed, his hands beginning to skim all over my curves. His fingers trace my breasts, but don’t linger. He gives each one a quick suck as he starts to trail his hands and mouth down my body. “Baby, are you sure you want me to let go?”

  I nod frantically. I’m about to explode from just the idea of what I think he wants to do.

  He props himself up between my legs, drawing a single finger from between my breasts, down over my ribs, over my hips, around my clit until he taps my core, transfixed with where his finger is circling. I’m writhing on the bed, my body a quivering mess. “Caleb,” I moan, fisting my hands in my hair.

  “Yes or no, baby. Do you want my fingers to slide into you? To feel that slick heat? To taste it?”

  I never knew words could turn me on more. Maybe it’s not the words, maybe it’s Caleb. I twist from side to side, unable to stop moving. Caleb places his hand on my lower abdomen to stabilize me, holding me still while I pant out, “Yes, to all of it. Do it, Caleb. I can’t take it anymore!” I moan as his hand glides down and breaches me. My back comes off the bed, supported only by my shoulders.

  There’s a chuckle from down between my legs. “Yeah, baby, you
’re ready. You’re so hot and wet. Do you want me to push a little?” It must be rhetorical because he begins to stroke my heat with two wicked fingers.

  In, out, in, out. I feel them rasping against my overly sensitive tissues. My hips begin to follow Caleb’s fingers in a pattern. I’m reaching for something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what. “Need something more to get you over the top, baby? I think I know what it is,” he says, his breath rasping over my wetness.

  In between one heartbeat and the next, my clit is being treated to the same treatment my nipples were. It’s being flicked, nibbled, rolled and sucked. Caleb’s fingers are still thrusting in and out and it’s too much.

  All my senses blank before I feel everything clench and shudder. I moan his name as I convulse through my first ever orgasm. I reach down and clutch Caleb tightly to my body, unable to lose the connection, my legs wrapping tightly around his shoulders. Tears pour from my eyes as I stare unseeing at the coffered ceiling.

  After my legs stop trembling, I slowly lift my head to find Caleb looking at me with pure pride and possession on his handsome face. His mouth is wet with…me. He’s in the process of cleaning up his fingers by slowly sucking on them one at a time. “How are you doing, baby?” he asks softly, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear.

  I start to speak several times, realizing I can’t, before I decide the easiest course of action is to just open my arms. He crawls in between my legs, snagging the condom along the way. I realize that somewhere during my comedown, Caleb lost his boxer briefs and is as naked as I am.

  “Are you still sure, Cassidy?” His eyes search mine, serious and ready to call a stop if I say so.

  This man is everything I saw couple after couple find in my line of work and never dared to expect for myself.

  His heavy weight covering me doesn’t scare me, it warms me. His body covering me doesn’t cause me panic, it fills my soul.

  As he slides his nose against mine, I realize that I’ve been hovering on the edge of falling in love. With him still willing to wait until I was ready, I toppled over the cliff.