Love, Love, Love

by Deborah Reber

  The messenger god sighed and took off the headset. “Well, that should hold them for a while. It’s Wednesday night, only two days to go. I think you gentlemen can spare me for a while.” He started to open the door of the van.

  “Boss, do you want us to drive you somewhere?” asked the technician.

  “No, I can walk there,” he replied. “It’s something I have to do alone.”

  Grabbing his cane, the elder got out of the van and walked gingerly down the damp sidewalk. It was October, and the chill winds of Janus were in the air. He longed for the warm, sun-kissed shores of California, Greece, or Italy, but he had promised to help Laura Sweeney. It was probably hopeless to appeal to Venus, but Laura had been able to move the gods to action before.

  Mercury had also returned to Denton because he felt a responsibility to Cupid. They had sent the inept cherub on this quest, knowing that meddling in the affairs of mortals was dangerous. This was another instance where they should have minded their own business instead of getting caught up in crazy schemes. Whether Venus made it or not, Mercury felt obligated to be there at the dance … when it would all unravel.

  Unless he could persuade Cupidity not to go.

  By the time the aged god reached her apartment complex, night had fallen in all its dark glory upon the quiet Ohio town. Autumn had arrived, and it felt like olden times knowing there was a fall festival coming on Friday. Now was the time to shelter the harvest and loved ones to make ready for the icy grip of winter.

  Mercury walked slowly up the steps to Cupidity’s door, and he could hear laughter and raucous music coming from within. Her neighbors must love her, he thought sarcastically. Since it was technically his abode, he didn’t knock; he just barged in.

  He caught Cupidity and Cody kissing, or maybe they were dancing, in the middle of the heavily littered living room. Rock music was blaring so loudly that they couldn’t hear him come in, but a gust of wind entered with the messenger god.

  “Cupidity, look at this mess!” he yelled at her. “You haven’t been doing your chores.”

  She pulled away from Cody and looked sheepishly at him. “No, I suppose I haven’t been. Why the visit, Dad?”

  “Because I ought to live here,” he answered. “With you. How can I desert my only child … and miss out on you growing up?”

  Cody shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “Excuse me, Mister, uh … Cupidity’s dad, but I can look after your daughter for you. I’m over here every minute.”

  “Yes, you’re all over her,” muttered the angry “father,” slamming the door behind him. “Young lady, because you’ve made the house such a mess—while entertaining boys without my permission—I’m going to ground you! You can’t go anywhere until … Saturday.”

  “No!” she shrieked. “The Homecoming Dance is Friday. I’ve got my dress, my date … we’re going with a bunch of people. You can’t do this to me, Papa!”

  “Please, Mister, have a heart,” insisted Cody. “We’ll clean it up, we’ll start right now. Hey, Cupie, where’s the number for that maid service?”

  “You’ll be leaving right now, Mr. Kenyon,” insisted Mercury, mustering all the strength he had and shoving the handsome lad toward the door. “You’ve had it your own way, but now Daddy’s home.”

  Thankfully, the boy was too dazed to resist, and Mercury managed to shove him outside and lock the door behind him. Cody cursed and beat on the door a few times, while Cupidity pouted. Mercury caught his breath, because the disguised cherub was truly the masterwork of Vulcan’s art. It was a pity that this dazzling creature was not going to last until the end of the week.

  “This … this is the worst thing you’ve ever done!” wailed Cupidity.

  “Oh, come on,” said her fake father sternly. “I’ve grounded you lots of times, and you never carried on like this.”

  She gazed at him with a troubled frown, and he knew that Laura had been right—the cherub had truly lost all memory, except for the cover story that went with the disguise, which she thought was real.

  “This feels worse,” complained the petite blond, stamping her foot on the hamburger wrappers. “I want to be Homecoming Queen more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my whole life! Come on, Papa, you can’t just pop into my life and stop me.”

  “I can try,” he vowed.

  More pounding shook the door, and Cody’s forlorn voice shouted, “I’ll call you later, Cupie!”

  “I love you, Codykins!” she cried in anguish.

  The satyrs never got tired. They could go for twenty-four hours, day and night, never stopping … just riding those big two-wheelers down the interstate. It was a good thing Laura was young and had already gotten lots of sleep in her youthful life, because she didn’t get any sleep on their mad dash across the country. She took some solace from the fact that they were headed in the right direction and got closer to Ohio with every blurred mile.

  The pain set in only when she got off the banana seat and tried to walk after hours frozen in place behind Pan. She made the motorcyclists stop as often as she could without being a nuisance, because she knew time was running out.

  It was late on Friday afternoon when they stopped someplace in Indiana. The town looked so much like Ohio that she got homesick, although she didn’t remember the hotel chain. Why had they stopped at this podunk hotel? Laura couldn’t shake the thought that maybe the satyrs were taking her for a ride—figuratively as well as literally. Maybe there was no Venus at the end of the road, just a Homecoming Dance to which she wasn’t invited.

  She looked up to see Pan walking toward her with a big smile on his face. “We’re here,” he said proudly.

  “Here?” she asked, glancing at the tree-lined street in the quiet midwestern town, much like the one she had left. “Venus is here?”

  The silver-haired satyr pointed to the nondescript, midsized hotel. “It’s Friday, so she’ll check in sometime tonight. Come, I’ll show you.”

  He took off his battered helmet, and she gasped. “Listen, you’d better put that back on—I can see your horns.”

  “It doesn’t matter here.” The satyr waved to her and strode toward the hotel, walking with a swagger in his specially designed boots.

  Laura groaned as she stretched her stiff legs, but she managed to follow him into the hotel. After the elegant L.A. hotels and spas she had visited, this couldn’t be where Venus was hanging out. No way was this mediocre roadside inn the grand hotel in Mercury’s vision.

  When they stepped into the lobby, she saw why Pan was unconcerned about his horns. Everyone had pointed ears, hairy feet, medieval dress, bad wigs, and light-sabers. Laura shivered. “What is this? Another dimension?”

  Pan lowered his head and laughed. “This is a science fiction convention. They’re fun for us, because we can be ‘in costume.’ Venus likes to attend these events … posing as herself.”

  He strode into the hotel lobby and grabbed a rather large woman clad in furs and chain mail. “Hello there, beautiful!” growled the satyr.

  “Oh, honey, I remember those horns!” She laughed, running her fingers through his mane of silvery hair. “What are you supposed to be?”

  “A randy goatman,” answered Laura, stepping up beside them.

  The chubby girl in lion skins giggled. “And you know, he looks just like one! He should enter the masquerade.”

  Laura looked pointedly at Pan. “Listen, before you ditch me, where do I find her?”

  “She’ll be dressed like a Greek goddess,” the satyr answered. “Don’t worry, when it comes to being noticed, Venus makes Narcissus look like Medusa.”

  “I want to see the art exhibit!” said another satyr, galloping in on his hooves. In a few moments, the satyr motorcycle gang was absorbed into the costumed swarm of fantasy and science fiction fans.

  With a sigh, Laura adjusted her glasses and looked down at the skintight black leather outfit she was wearing. She didn’t look like she was from Middle-earth, but she was dressed more bizarrely than usua
l. Maybe she would fit in after all.

  “Have you seen Venus?” she asked every fan she bumped into.

  “Not yet,” came the answer. “Try the gamers’ room.”

  She checked there and found no Venus, so she asked again, “Have you seen Venus?”

  “Try the video room.” Laura went up to the ballroom level and searched all the meeting rooms. For the next two hours, she searched every public corner of the hotel, and they finally made her buy a membership to the convention and wear a badge. A few people asked her what was in her duffel bag, and she claimed it was just her luggage.

  Although they were dressed oddly, the people at the science fiction convention were extremely friendly. Most of them seemed to know Venus, and they said she came to this con every year. But she wasn’t exactly punctual.

  Laura roamed through the dealer’s room, looking at the collectible toys, fantasy jewelry, movie posters, and old books. A friendly security guard came up and told her that she couldn’t carry her bag into this room. Instead of checking it, she just took out the bow and quiver of arrows and wore them on her back. Laura didn’t look much different than scores of fans who were wearing fanciful weapons.

  She saw many mythical and marvelous characters, including the satyrs, who winked slyly at her, but no flamboyant goddess. At nine o’clock, she sat down in the hotel lobby to wait, figuring that Venus had to come this way to check in.

  At this very moment, she mused, the Homecoming football game is going on at Fimbrey High. Laura was sad that it was her senior year, her last Homecoming, and she couldn’t be there. The way things were going, she wasn’t going to make the dance either.

  Mercury sat in the living room of Cupidity’s recently cleaned apartment, listening to the drone of the football game on the radio. Except for that noise, it was too quiet down the hallway near Cupidity’s bedroom. He got up to investigate when he heard the door open, and he caught sight of a blond figure in a bathrobe dashing down the hall into the bathroom. All right, Cupidity was accounted for.

  He hadn’t seen his so-called daughter much since he had put her on restriction. Had she really been his daughter, Mercury might have felt bad about that, but he couldn’t feel bad about punishing a deranged cherub.

  Something seemed to happen in the football game, because he heard a shriek of delight. The messenger god sat back in his chair, thinking that Cupidity didn’t understand football. She didn’t know a halfback from a hunchback, so what was she cheering about?

  Mercury rose to his feet again and hobbled down the hall. As soon as he did, Cupidity again bolted out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. He didn’t get a good look at her, because she moved like a track star.

  He stopped at the bathroom door and asked, “Darling, are you all right?”

  “Don’t come in,” she said in a muffled voice, covered by a sneeze. He didn’t go in, but he marched down to her bedroom and went in there. The first thing Mercury did was look in her closet, where she had kept the gown she intended to wear to the dance. It was gone!

  The anxious god heard the crackling sound of static, and he found a small black-and-white TV set hidden under her pillow. It was a security monitor, and the image showed the chair in which he had been sitting. They had been spying on him with a hidden camera! The window was also open several inches.

  Those lousy teenagers, he thought, they’re worse than Harpies!

  Mercury didn’t know who was in his bathroom, but he doubted whether it was Cupidity. This time he banged loudly on the bathroom door and shouted. “How long has she been gone?”

  “Achooo!” came the response. “I can’t hear you—the hair dryer is going!”

  “You’ve been caught! I know Cupidity is gone. Now open up!”

  Slowly the door creaked open, and a sheepish blond-haired girl stuck her head out. “Oh, please,” she begged, “the dance meant so much to her. Let her go!”

  “She’s already there, isn’t she?” muttered Mercury. “What’s your name?”

  “Chelsea,” answered the chastened teen. “I just wanted to do her a favor … help her out. Everybody loves Cupidity—she’s like the spirit of the school!”

  “Yeah,” grumbled the elder, “she’s always been the life of the party. Did she go out the window, and was a car waiting for her?”

  Chelsea nodded. “Cody brought me here, and we switched places. Don’t be mad—they’re like really in love!”

  “I know.” Mercury glanced at his watch and saw that it was ten o’clock. He scowled and started for the door. “Come on, I’ll have my driver take us to the dance.”

  “It’s going to be a madhouse at school,” warned Chelsea, tossing away the robe to reveal that she was fully dressed. “The game is almost over.”

  “That’s for sure,” said Mercury with a sigh.

  Laura was actually dozing in a big overstuffed chair in the corner of the hotel lobby when a fresh babble of voices woke her up. She bolted upright, angry at herself for sleeping on the job, when she saw a mass of people swarm through the front door. At the center of this maelstrom was a tall, elegant woman in a cream-colored, diaphanous gown that swept behind her like a superhero’s cape.

  Members of her entourage descended on the checkin desk and the con desk, and it was obvious that a personage had arrived.

  “Hello, Yoda! Hello, Captain Picard!” the raven-haired beauty called out to people. Even though the lobby was already crowded with fans, it got twice as crammed as people pressed forward to greet the new arrival. Many of them called her by name: “Venus.”

  Laura took a deep breath and rose from the comfy chair. She moved the magical bow from her back to her front to make it easier to see, then she marched into the crush of people. As she got closer to her quarry, she could tell that Venus was of uncertain age, one of those well-preserved women somewhere between forty and four thousand years old.

  “Venus!” she called.

  “And who are you supposed to be?” asked the goddess snidely. “Lara Croft?”

  People swarmed around them, but Laura pressed forward. “I’m trying to be Cupid.”

  “You don’t look anything like Cupid,” replied Venus with a scowl. She waved over Laura’s head. “Gandalf, good to see you!”

  “What about this bow?” asked Laura, holding up the weapon. “It’s Cupid’s bow!”

  At first Venus rolled her eyes, then she narrowed them and took a closer look at the willowy weapon. “That’s a good copy, but you still have a lousy costume.”

  Someone handed the dark-haired woman a convention badge that read VENUS, and she carefully pinned it to her gown. “Who’s got my room key?” she demanded.

  “Right here!” said a member of her entourage, handing her a small envelope. When Venus and her crew began to make their way out of the lobby, Laura doggedly followed her.

  “Venus!” she called. “Pan and his gang brought me here on their motorcycles … all the way from Pinkie’s!”

  Despite being caught up in the flow of people through the lobby, Venus stopped dead in her tracks. The goddess of love turned and cast a suspicious gaze at Laura. “You’re beginning to annoy me.”

  “I just want five minutes of your time,” promised the girl. “To tell you about what happened to Cupid.”

  Venus sniffed in disdain. “You obviously have me confused with someone who cares. I’m here to have fun. Be fun, or be gone!” The goddess gave her a dismissive wave and walked on.

  The rejection plunged Laura into despair, and she again felt like a stalker as she followed Venus from one part of the convention to another. She could always use Cupid’s bow to get her attention, but she couldn’t risk getting into trouble with the law or security. Every room seemed to have a giant clock in it, and time was ticking off. It was almost ten thirty.

  As the evening wore on, Venus and most of the revelers found their way to the hotel ballroom, where a Regency Dance was in progress. Laura watched glumly as people costumed in velvet finery from the court of Englan
d two centuries ago dipped and curtsied to baroque music from a string quartet. To Laura, it looked like elegant square dancing, with much touching of fingertips.

  Laughing gaily, Venus joined the lines of courtly dancers, and she knew the archaic steps better than any of them. Watching them and thinking about the Homecoming Dance only depressed Laura. Time was running out, and she had to talk to the love goddess. She noticed that the participants were thrown together for a few seconds here and there, when they could converse.

  So Laura took the plunge and jumped into the stately dance. She smiled a lot and tried to master the steps while she waited to come in contact with Venus. More people from the audience joined in, and all of them were in the wrong costumes, too.

  She was finally paired with Venus in the fingertip touching. “Oh, you again,” said the goddess with a sneer. They curtsied and stepped back and forth in time to the music.

  Laura laughed. “I’ve got a funny joke—I promise! There was this old cherub who smoked cigars, and Vulcan turned him into a hot teenage girl to go back to high school. Have you heard this one?”

  “No,” said Venus doubtfully, her stunning blue eyes peering at Laura.

  In a rush, Laura blurted out the rest. “Cupidity is the hottest thing in high school, but her stupid friend shoots her with her own bow and arrow. How silly! Now Cupidity is in love with a skater boy and doesn’t know who she really is.”

  Venus threw back her head and roared with laughter. “That is funny!”

  The teen grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the line of dancers. “It gets even better,” promised Laura. “At midnight tonight, Cupidity will turn back into this cherub, but who knows if she’ll get her memory back.”

  “Who cares?” snapped Venus, pulling her arm away from the leather-clad biker chick. “It’s every god for himself.”

  “Oh, please,” begged Laura, giving up any pretense, “help me! Cupidity will be right in the middle of getting crowned Homecoming Queen, and a good friend of mine is in love with the wrong girl. And—and—” Breathlessly she tried to collect her thoughts before the goddess fled from the ballroom.