Stand by Me

by Judi Curtin

  She stopped talking when we heard Blackie barking.

  ‘Darren’s coming back,’ said Beth. ‘Maybe you should fold up those papers again, Molly.’

  I knew what she was saying. If Graham saw the drawing of him, he might totally lose it. And then I had the most amazing idea.

  ‘Er … Jeanie,’ I said. ‘This might be totally rude and everything, but I was wondering … if you wouldn’t mind … could Beth and I have that picture of Graham …?’

  ‘I don’t understand why you could want it,’ said Jeanie.

  ‘It’s just that it reminds us of someone we know,’ said Beth. ‘And we think he’d really, really like to see it.’

  ‘It would make him very, very happy,’ I added.

  ‘Well in that case,’ said Jeanie. ‘You can have it. You can have all of my drawings if you wish. They were precious to me when I could see them, but now they’re just pages. All I need is something to hold my place in my book.’

  ‘I’ve got something you could use,’ I said, pulling the flyer for Kevz Kool Kutz out of my pocket and handing it to her.

  Jeanie took the page and ran her fingers over it. ‘I like the feel of this shiny paper,’ she said. ‘It’s perfect.’

  I picked up the drawings, folded them very carefully and put them into my pocket.

  ‘Thank you so, so much, Jeanie,’ I said. ‘You’ll never know what a kind thing you’ve done.’

  Jeanie looked embarrassed for a second, and then she laughed as Blackie ran up to her, and licked her fingers.

  ‘Hi everyone,’ said Graham, who was a few steps behind the dog. ‘I feel much better after my walk. Jeanie, you were going to tell us about the summer of 1960.’

  ‘So I was,’ said Jeanie. ‘If you’re all sitting comfortably, I’ll begin.’

  Chapter Twenty

  ‘I spent most of the summer of 1960 with my best friend, Graham,’ began Jeanie. ‘I’d known him for quite a while by then. I attended boarding school, but as soon as the holidays came, Graham and I spent all of our time together.’

  ‘So cute!’ I said, like this was news to Beth and me.

  ‘Graham and I first met when he came to help his father with some odd jobs in our garden,’ said Jeanie. ‘I confess that, in the beginning, I believed my parents when they said he was too rough for me – he was nothing like the sons of their friends. At first I let them persuade me to stay far away from him.’

  ‘Ouch!’ said Beth.

  ‘Oh, don’t feel too sorry for him,’ said Jeanie. ‘Graham wasn’t very impressed with me either – I think perhaps he thought I was too posh for him.’

  I looked at Graham who was nodding his head in agreement. He was smiling too, and it was easy to see that he was enjoying this trip back to his youth.

  ‘But one afternoon Graham rescued a stray kitten from the top of our garage,’ said Jeanie. ‘And I could see what a gentle, kind person he was. The kitten was skinny and dirty and did its best to scratch Graham with its tiny claws, but still he held it like it was the most precious thing in the world. We brought it back to its mother … and … that’s the day our friendship started.’

  I smiled, as I remembered Graham’s version of the story. Graham and Jeanie had rescued the kitten together – and while they were doing it, they both managed to see what a nice person the other one was. Who’d ever guess that a lost kitten could be so important in someone’s life?

  ‘How did you and Graham spend your time together?’ asked Graham then. At first I was confused. He’d been there – he knew exactly how they spent their time. But then I realised he was like a little kid who always wants the same bedtime story every night – something about how familiar the words are makes you feel all safe and warm and secure.

  ‘Oh, we did all kinds of things,’ said Jeanie. ‘Swimming in the river, playing in the fields, having picnics.’

  ‘Sounds you were living in the middle of an Enid Blyton book,’ said Beth.

  Jeanie laughed. ‘Perhaps you’re right – it was rather idyllic. Graham and I did other things too, of course. That last summer we used to dance to my favourite song – “The Twist”.’

  ‘Ah, “The Twist”,’ said Graham with a sigh.

  ‘But then my father put a stop to “The Twist”,’ said Jeanie. ‘I sulked for a while, but Graham said it didn’t matter – he said the world was full of wonderful things we could do together.’

  ‘That’s so sweet, I said, looking at Graham, whose cheeks had turned pink.

  ‘But as the weeks of that summer slipped by,’ said Jeanie. ‘Things began to change …’

  She stopped talking for a minute. I remembered how Graham had said the exact same thing about that summer.

  ‘This must be very boring for you,’ said Jeanie suddenly. ‘Why would you want to hear about that long ago summer?’

  ‘No!’ I said quickly. ‘We love hearing stuff like this. Don’t we guys?’

  Beth and Graham nodded, which wasn’t much good to Jeanie.

  ‘What happened?’ asked Beth gently. ‘Why did things change?’

  ‘I’d worn glasses ever since my eye disease was diagnosed,’ said Jeanie. ‘Every year I needed a stronger and stronger prescription – but that summer … well, that summer my eyesight deteriorated quickly – and even with the strongest glasses available, I could barely see.’

  Now it was all starting to make sense. I remembered what Graham had said about Jeanie – how she stopped cycling and all the other fun stuff they did together – the poor girl couldn’t see well enough to do any of it.

  ‘That’s why you stopped drawing.’ Luckily Graham said the words so quietly that Jeanie didn’t hear him.

  ‘I did my best to hide what was happening to me,’ said Jeanie. ‘But, despite my best efforts, things had to change. I couldn’t draw any more, cycling became impossible, and … well I couldn’t run around like I used to do. I persisted in trying to live in a seeing world, when I could barely see anything at all.’

  ‘That must have been so tough,’ I said.

  ‘It was,’ said Jeanie. ‘I still loved spending time with Graham – he was my favourite person in the world – and yet I hated being with him too. I knew he was confused. I knew he had no idea what was happening to me.’

  ‘And what about your parents?’ I asked. ‘What did they say about all this?’

  ‘For a while I was even able to fool them,’ said Jeanie. ‘I’d lived in Orchard House all my life, so getting around there presented no problem. And I made up excuses when I stumbled or dropped things.’

  ‘Maybe your parents couldn’t face up to the truth either,’ I suggested.

  ‘She smiled. ‘I think you may well be right. I know now how hard this must have been for them.’

  ‘You could have told Graham the truth?’ said Beth. ‘It sounds like he might have understood.’

  ‘What clever girls you are!’ said Jeanie. ‘That’s a good suggestion – but – I was very young. I was afraid that Graham would be disappointed in me. I was afraid he wouldn’t want to spend time with me if he knew the truth.’

  ‘No way!’ said Graham. ‘I never would have … I mean, if you were my friend, I would have understood. I’d have found other ways to spend our time. We could have done all kinds of things together. I would have – I mean Graham would definitely have stood by you.’

  Jeanie smiled. ‘That reminds me of my favourite song – “Stand By Me”. And I think you are right, Darren. Now I think Graham would have stood by me – and I’m sorry I didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth.’

  Graham closed his eyes and sang the first few lines of ‘Stand By Me’. When he sang the words about darkness and light and not being afraid, I thought I was going to cry – (and I barely noticed that he hadn’t magically become a good singer).

  When he finished singing, Jeanie turned towards him, like she was staring at him, which I knew was impossible.

  ‘You’re going to think I am very strange, Darren,’ she said. �
��I can tell by your voice that you’re a bit older than me, and yet … there’s something about you that reminds me of my old friend Graham … and that has to be impossible.’

  OMG! Was it time for us to get up and run away?

  If Jeanie discovered the truth she might freak out.

  But Graham didn’t seem too worried. ‘I’m sad to say that I’m a whole lot older than you, Jeanie,’ he said. ‘If you’d like to touch my face, you’ll be able to see … I mean understand that for yourself.’

  ‘Despite what you see in the pictures,’ said Jeanie. ‘Blind people don’t generally go around feeling the faces of strangers, but for some reason, you don’t seem like a stranger, so if you don’t mind …?’

  ‘Be my guest,’ said Graham, sliding closer to her on the bench.

  I could hardly breathe as I watched Jeanie raise both hands and rest her fingers gently on Graham’s forehead, in the place where his hair probably started back in the day. Time seemed to stand still as Graham closed his eyes and Jeanie ran her fingertips along the wrinkled skin. She felt his long hair, which was hanging over his ears, and must have seemed old and coarse to her. Then she put her hands back on her lap. Graham still had his eyes closed, and for a minute no one said anything. It was weird and crazy and very, very sad.

  After a second, Graham opened his eyes and smiled. ‘I always wanted a face massage,’ he said. ‘And I hope you weren’t too disappointed, Jeanie, to find that I’m just a grizzled old man.’

  Jeanie smiled too. ‘I can tell that you’re a little grizzled and very, very sweet.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Graham.

  I was starting to think that this might be a good moment to leave, when Jeanie started to talk again.

  ‘I never met Graham again after that summer,’ she said. ‘He vanished from my life.’

  That’s because your parents chased him away, and now that you’re older, he’s too ashamed to face you because he has always thought that he was the one who caused your blindness.

  ‘I missed him very much,’ said Jeanie. ‘But I think I can understand …’

  ‘I would never …’ began Graham before Beth poked him in the arm.

  ‘Maybe Graham tried to contact you,’ I said quickly. ‘Maybe he phoned you and called to your house and sent you letters and …’

  ‘My parents would have told me if he did,’ said Jeanie.

  ‘Are you so sure about that?’ I asked, but then I noticed that Graham was shaking his head at me, and I realised that making Jeanie hate her parents wasn’t going to help anyone.

  ‘Maybe your parents thought that …’ I began, and then Jeanie interrupted me.

  ‘I know my parents love me very much,’ she said. ‘When I went blind they tried to do their very best for me – but they couldn’t understand what my life was going to be like. They thought they had to protect me. They thought that spending time with my old friends would make me feel even worse about what was happening to me.’

  ‘That makes sense,’ said Beth. ‘Sort of.’

  ‘Do you think Graham really might have tried to see me?’ said Jeanie. ‘I never once even thought of that.’

  Now Graham spoke quietly. ‘The way you described Graham, I feel like I know him. The person you described would have done anything in his power to be with you, to help you through what was happening to you. But I … he was just a boy – a poor foolish boy who let the best thing that had ever happened to him slip away.’

  Jeanie reached out and touched his hand. ‘That’s a very nice thing to say,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The sun had moved away from the terrace and it was getting cold. My legs were stiff and I couldn’t feel my bum any more after all that time sitting on the hard stones.

  Jeanie stretched. ‘This has been very nice,’ she said. ‘But soon my housemate will be home from work, and it’s my turn to make the tea. We’re having spaghetti – we just discovered it – but maybe you don’t know what that is?’

  ‘We’ve heard of it once or twice,’ said Beth, laughing.

  ‘Er … do you go to work, Jeanie?’ I asked, hoping she wasn’t going to say that she sat around all the time waiting for time to pass, and for her housemate to come home. There’s nothing wrong with making baskets, but if Jeanie said that’s what she did all day, I think I’d cry.

  ‘Oh, yes,’ said Jeanie. ‘Of course I’ve got a job. I’m a bus driver.’

  ‘But …?’ Was there a polite way to say what I wanted to say?

  And then Jeanie started to laugh, and the rest of us joined in and we all laughed for a very long time.

  ‘I have a wonderful job in an animal shelter,’ said Jeanie, while Beth and I were still wiping the tears of laughter out of our eyes. ‘Today is my day off. I answer the telephone, and feed the animals and care for them. I’m one of the lucky people who loves my work.’

  ‘That sounds like a really cool job,’ said Beth.

  ‘It is,’ said Jeanie. ‘But there’s more to life than work. I have good friends and a wonderful social life – a life my parents didn’t dare to dream of for me. Sometimes I miss my drawing, but next month I’ll be starting a night course in sculpture – so I can be creative again.’

  Suddenly I felt really weird. I was sitting in front of a very alive woman, and I was picturing the words from the death notice that wouldn’t be written for nearly fifty years: She will always be fondly remembered for her sculptures, which she donated to local parks, for the benefit of the community.

  ‘I bet you’ll be really, really good at sculpture,’ I said.

  ‘I think Molly’s right,’ said Beth. ‘And I think your parents were wrong. It sounds like you have a lovely life.

  ‘You’re right,’ said Jeanie. ‘It is a lovely life – and I often think I have to thank my friend, Graham for it.’

  ‘But I …’ said Graham. ‘I mean he … I mean you haven’t seen him for nine years – not since you were a child.’

  ‘You’re right,’ said Jeanie. ‘But, in some ways, that doesn’t matter. You see, I learned so much from being with him.’

  ‘Such as?’ asked Graham.

  ‘Oh,’ said Jeanie. ‘It’s hard to explain – my love of nature and music grew because of him – but it wasn’t simply things like that. Graham made me believe I could do anything. According to him, I was going to be the greatest artist who ever lived. Of course that wasn’t to be, but Graham’s belief in me – well that made me believe in myself. I remember how he encouraged me to climb the highest tree, and—’

  ‘Yeah, but you fell out of that tree and broke your arm,’ said Beth. ‘That so wasn’t a good result.’

  ‘Indeed I did fall out of that tree,’ said Jeanie. ‘But before I fell, those moments swaying at the top of the tree – well they were like magic. I could barely see the leaves and the fields below me, but I could feel the wind in my face, and the sun on my arms – and it was glorious. And because of that, I didn’t go down the path my parents chose for me. I didn’t lock myself away from the world and feel sorry for myself. I have lived – and I will continue to live as long as I am alive. And that’s all due to my old friend, Graham. In some ways, I have always felt that he’s right next to me, standing by me.’

  ‘That’s so sweet,’ said Beth.

  ‘I don’t expect to meet Graham again,’ said Jeanie. ‘But I know he’s out there somewhere – and that is enough for me.’

  Actually he’s sitting a metre away from you with a totally soppy look on his face.

  ‘I’m so happy things have turned out well for you,’ said Graham.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Jeanie. ‘This isn’t Hollywood, so I won’t pretend that going blind is the best thing that ever happened to me, but there have been some – compensations.’

  ‘Like what?’ asked Beth.

  Jeanie thought for a minute. ‘Now that I can’t see, it’s impossible to judge people by how they look. When you three wandered in here, I didn’t form opinio
ns about you based on your hair or your clothes.’

  ‘That’s lucky,’ I said. ‘Beth and I are wearing our school uniforms and they so aren’t cool. It would’ve been better if we’d been wearing our tracksuits.’

  ‘Tracksuits?’ said Jeanie.

  ‘Just something that’s popular where we come from,’ said Beth quickly.

  ‘Where do you come from?’ asked Jeanie. ‘You didn’t say.’

  Oh, we travelled many kilometres and many years to get here.

  I had a funny feeling that Jeanie was going to start asking more and more awkward questions.

  ‘I really think it might be time for us to go,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Beth, standing up and stretching. ‘We need to get back home and your friend’s spaghetti isn’t going to cook itself.’

  Graham didn’t move. I felt so sorry for him – I guessed all he wanted was to spend a few more minutes with his old friend.

  And then I had a wonderful idea.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  ‘Er, Jeanie,’ I said. ‘You know that song you and Graham loved – the one you used to dance to?’

  ‘“The Twist”?’ said Jeanie.

  ‘Yeah, that’s the one,’ I said. ‘Do you happen to have a way of listening to it?’

  While I was asking the question, I looked at my phone to see if a miracle had happened and it was actually working. It wasn’t though, and once again I wondered how people used to live without being able to use their phones for a million things every single day.

  How did they listen to music?

  How did they find their way around?

  How did they do anything?

  ‘Why are you so keen to hear “The Twist”?’ asked Jeanie.

  ‘We’ve never heard it before,’ I said.

  ‘But it’s on the radio nearly every day,’ said Jeanie.

  ‘You girls have never heard “The Twist”?’ said Graham. ‘How have I let that happen?’

  Jeanie stood up. ‘I’m very lucky,’ she said. ‘I’ve got my own record player, and the first record I bought when I moved in here was “The Twist”. Why don’t I put it on?’