“It should’ve been a mirage.”
“Why?” His question shot through the space between them like a bullet, but Sabrina stood her ground. “We’re adults. We very clearly want each other. And I’ve already sworn to you that this, one way or the other, will never affect your job. So why? Why are you scared? Running away has never been you.”
Odds:
0-14 days—100:1
15-30 days—50:1
31-40 days—20:1
41-50 days—15:1
51-55 days—10:1
56-60 days—8:1
61-63 days—7:1
64-69 days—6:1
70-80 days—5:1
81-90 days—4:1
91-100 days—2:1
100+ days—1:1
Chapter Nine
“You’re right,” she admitted. “I don’t normally run from anything. But this.” Again she waved a hand between them, indicating what she had no words to describe. “I didn’t expect it. And, yes, you’ve thrown me for a loop. To the moon and back.”
Sabrina took a deep breath and stepped away. She raised her chin and looked him square in the eye. “So, please forgive me if I’m scrambling to keep my senses.”
He smiled that half-smile that made her toes curl and also made her forget how to breathe. Barefoot as she was, Sabrina dearly hoped he couldn’t actually see that. She pressed her toes harder into the marble tile of the foyer.
“So I can make you lose your senses?” he asked, with that sexy smile that made her heart flip.
Biting her lip to keep from smiling, Sabrina shook her head to dispel the humor he so easily elicited. Looking him straight in the eye, making sure he understood how serious she was, Sabrina slowly nodded.
“You really do.”
“You made me lose my senses a long time ago,” Gideon confessed. And it sounded so open and honest, she knew he told the absolute truth.
Her stomach clenched at his confession, and the band tightening her lungs constricted. He had this uncanny ability to turn her insides to mush with simply a look. And lately, a word as they shared a night out.
They’d worked together for years and for all those years, Sabrina had worked very, very hard to suppress those feelings, the flutter in her belly, the racing of her heart, the hot arousal, into less. Into something she could—and did—control. She’d joked and laughed and pretended she didn’t want him as badly as she did. She’d deflected his words so Gideon would never know the extent of her feelings for him.
Sabrina had become so adept at that, at pushing away her feelings, at turning their conversations so Gideon heard only what she wanted him to, that now she had no idea how to be truthful and open and honest with him.
It was a foreign thought. A foreign feeling. And yet somehow, she’d gone against everything she’d trained herself to do…and had slept with him. It didn’t feel right, and that sense of wrongness bothered her. Sabrina didn’t know why having sex with Gideon felt wrong.
Or maybe she did.
In a moment the dynamic of their relationship had changed. And frankly, Sabrina hadn’t been prepared for that to happen. She’d spent too much time and had put too much effort into protecting that dynamic.
Stupid. She hadn’t planned ahead, hadn’t planned how confronting him with their dates would turn out. Stupid, stupid, stupid .What was wrong with her? She had a very sharp mind for business—for consequences and cause and effect, and all those other things that had made her VP of Development.
What was wrong with her? What was wrong with her when it came to Gideon?
“Everything we shared,” he continued before she managed to catch her breath. Before she’d managed to organize her thoughts. “From our great business deals, to celebrating after them.” He grinned that half-smile at her again. “To no-rules backgammon and our lunches in that empty copy room on the thirtieth floor. You got under my skin a long time ago. And I guess I should be a gentleman and give you time to catch up to where I am. Even if I don’t want to be.”
That last bit came out more than a little wolfish and sent a tingle of desire flashing through her.
Gideon shook his head and looked over her shoulder for a heartbeat. She studied him, surprised when her legs moved of their own accord, and she stepped closer.
His hand came back to her cheek and slid around to cup the back of her neck. He brought his forehead down to touch hers. That move was the most intimate feeling she ever had. Sex was one thing, intimate in its own way.
This feeling, this familiarity and closeness, was deeper than that. It was…it was true intimacy and with a feeling of warmth that spread through her, Sabrina eased into it like a hot bath; one muscle at a time until she was completely wrapped up in Gideon’s arms.
“Now, after what’s happened, we can just move forward.”
“I need a little time, Gideon.” The words were barely a whisper. “Okay?”
Gideon nodded but didn’t move back. “Do you want me to go?”
“Yes.” The word caught in her throat and she nodded, the movement limited as they continued to stand there, forehead to forehead.
He took another minute, just standing there. He let out a soft breath and stepped back. Gideon walked backward out of the door, not taking his eyes from her.
“I’ll leave for the moment. Give you that time. But,” he added with that smile that made her insides turn to mush, “I’m not giving up, Sabrina.”
He closed the door with a firm click.
Sabrina sucked in a deep breath. She crossed the few steps to the door and pressed her forehead against it.
Why was she so scared? Oh, that was an easy one. Gideon was entirely too good for her. And he’d enjoy his time with her for however long he wanted, and then break her heart into a million trillion pieces.
And she didn’t want that. She’d never recover.
Or was she being stupid? Passing up an opportunity with the man…with Gideon that had the potential to be great? Strange to think of a man like Gideon to want her. She was five-four and not quite a size six. Almost three times that size, she thought dejectedly.
Not to mention, what would it do to the job she loved?
What the hell was wrong with her?
Never had she questioned herself. Especially not like this. Not on school, work, not even other guys. Not like she questioned herself on Gideon. He didn’t know she’d wanted him since the first moment she’d set eyes on him. That she’d resigned herself to never even giving them a shot.
Men like Gideon were the princes in fairy tales. And she was certainly no waif princess. Sabrina resembled one of the misunderstood evil stepsisters rather than the fairy princess.
Damn it, and there was no cookies and cream in the fridge. Or chocolate. Where had all their chocolate gone?
Audrey had her earl. And the way Duncan looked at her, no one could be mistaken for how he felt. The man was definitely in love. His eyes rarely left Audrey and tended to follow her around a room or unerringly lock onto her whenever she suddenly entered a room, accompanied by a smile that gave his feelings completely away.
Sabrina gasped. Instead of seeing the way Duncan watched Audrey, she saw Gideon’s dark eyes follow her. The way he watched her. The way his eyes darkened and his smile widened whenever he saw her.
With her heart pounding and blood rushing in her ears, Sabrina stepped back from the door. “What the hell?”
She no longer needed to know how big a fool she was—she knew exactly how big. Huge.
How many years had she quashed her feelings for him? And now she had undeniable proof he wanted her. She’d forced his hand earlier today. She’d been the one to do so. Had that been a mistake?
“Had it?” she muttered to the door he’d closed on his way out.
Of course it had, because now she was in this position. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Where were her friends when she needed them? Off with their own lives, of course. Not that she wanted them to witness her conversation—her emotional argumen
t—with Gideon.
“I’m no good at this,” she muttered again, more for the sound of her own voice. The door sure as hell wasn’t responding but she couldn’t seem to make her feet move—move either toward the door to run after Gideon or away from it.
“I do big land deals worth millions of dollars,” she reminded herself, “and very ironclad contracts, and big, lavish hotels in exotic locales. Not this emotional stuff. Not unrequited feelings that are suddenly requited!”
It’d been so simple before. Before Audrey and Eliza had pointed out she’d been dating Gideon for two months. And Sabrina had been perfectly happy to live with her lust for Gideon—secretly. Then she’d be perfectly happy to marry some middle-management guy, where they would live in a too-small New York apartment with 3.1 kids.
But an affair with Gideon?
What would that do to the life she’d envisioned for her future? How did an affair change her? If this was more than a one-night fling, or one-desk fling, as the case might be, then that certainly changed things.
How long before Gideon moved on?
The dynamic had already changed between them. And why was she giving this so much thought?
Audrey had been prepared to have a holiday affair with an English earl and return to New York. Why couldn’t she? Sabrina already had the guy, really had the guy, she’d always wanted. Why toss him back before she’d created her own memories?
Every woman had to have a broken heart in their lives. Why not have it with her hot billionaire boss?
Who cared if she risked her heart and the biggest hurt of her life? But without risk, there was no reward.
Sabrina raced from the foyer to her bedroom, already stripping off her robe. Pulling a random dress from her closet, she tugged on a pair of panties and tried not to think about what happened to her other pair, presumably still in her office. Blushing hotly at the memory, Sabrina hooked her bra and slipped a dress over her head as she tried to find a matching pair of shoes.
She raced out of her room and was halfway to the door when she stopped. “Makeup.”
Turning sharply on her heel, she raced back to her room and quickly applied a thin coat of mascara and foundation and her shiny nude lip gloss she’d stolen from Audrey after that first date with Gideon.
As ready as she’d ever be, Sabrina grabbed her jacket and purse and flung open the door.
Gideon leaned against the wall, his arms folded, staring straight at her. Sabrina stopped so suddenly, she almost stumbled.
“That took longer than I thought it would,” Gideon said, low and sexy, the tone more than the words slipping through her like fine silk.
She blinked and closed her gaping mouth with a click. “How’d you know?”
He pushed off the wall with that half-grin that made her lose her mind and want to do all sorts of things to his body. “I know you,” he said. He walked her back into the apartment and let the door swing close. “And you wouldn’t pass up a hell of a deal.”
Sabrina smiled and let that smile out, unlike earlier. In fact, as he walked closer, she stayed still, making the conscious decision to do so. She was tired of hiding from how she really felt. From him—them.
“And you’re a hell of a deal?” she asked.
“Well,” Gideon said, stopping mere inches from her. “I guess I’ll have to prove myself.”
This time when he kissed her, it was a slow exploration. His lips moved deliberately over hers, his tongue teasing hers as his hands ran up her arms. He didn’t rush the kiss, and Sabrina took the time to savor the taste of him. Though she’d only kissed him a couple hours earlier, Sabrina had spent so much energy forgetting the taste of him.
Not this time.
Sabrina deepened the kiss, stepping closer to him so she could press her body to his. Feel him against her. Earlier had been mind-blowing, but rushed. This time she was determined to take her time and explore every inch of Gideon.
Now that she’d decided to stop hiding and embrace whatever it was they shared, she’d do so wholeheartedly.
Breaking the kiss, she backed up and caught his hand. Without a word, she led him across the apartment and to her bedroom. Ignoring the mess she’d left in her frantic rush to dress and race after him, Sabrina sucked in a breath and grabbed her dress, pulling it over her head in one go.
She carefully watched Gideon’s eyes. Waited for his reaction. When it came, she realized this time things wouldn’t be slow and exploring, either.
Her breath caught at his look. His dark, hungry gaze caressing her as surely as his hands. Sabrina shivered from his look, nipples pebbling and aching for his touch. Hot desire surged through her, and Sabrina bit her lip on a moan of Gideon’s name.
Kicking off her shoes, she stepped forward and grabbed the tie that had teased her every day for months. She pulled him to her and kissed him again. Something seemed to snap inside Gideon, because his hands settled roughly on her hips, pulling her against him. She could feel his hardness and broke the kiss to gasp out his name.
Sabrina shoved his jacket over his shoulders, her fingers already on the buttons to his shirt. She really wanted to play with his tie, perhaps use it to tie him up, but decided that could wait for another time.
Right now, she wanted him naked before her.
His hand cupped her breasts and pinched her already hard nipples until her legs threatened to give out. As much as she wanted to taste him, apparently Gideon wanted to do the same with her. He lifted her and laid her on the bed, his eyes traveling the same path as his fingers. He hooked his thumbs around the waistband of her panties and slid them down her legs, his mouth kissing along her inner thigh as he did so.
She moaned, her hands bunching the bedding beneath her. He teased and tormented as he tasted up her thigh, lips so gently, too gently, brushing over her wetness. Sabrina moaned, arched against him, scrambled for purchase and had almost found it. Then his mouth found her center, and Sabrina lost all thought.
One touch and she thought she’d explode from it. Gideon kissed her again, tongue doing unbelievable things to her, fingers slipping easily into her and Sabrina gasped. Her fingers had somehow left the bedding and now pressed hard into Gideon’s shoulders. She wanted him closer, wanted more, couldn’t find the words or even remember how to form words.
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed against her. His fingers teased her opening, spreading her wide as he continued to kiss up her inner thigh. “I may never get enough of you.”
As his fingers had, his mouth teased her, coiling her need tighter and tighter until all thoughts of slow and leisurely and of tasting him vanished. His mouth glided over her, his fingers slipping in her wet heat. One hand held her still when she wanted nothing more than to arch against him and beg him for more. To feel the crash of pleasure.
“Gideon,” she gasped. Sabrina ran her fingers over his bare shoulders, her nails raking down his back. “Please.”
Desperate to feel him inside her, Sabrina struggled onto her elbows just as Gideon slid a second finger inside her. Pleasure tightened her belly, but she didn’t want to climax like this. She wanted to feel him moving within her.
Gideon pulled back for a long moment, shucking his shoes and pants. Then he picked up his trousers and pulled out a condom and slipped it on. Sabrina sat up on the bed and tugged him forward. Swinging a leg over him, she straddled him, guiding him into her.
Shuddering at the feel, she waited a moment to catch her breath. Each movement took him deeper, and she thought he might be right—this might never be enough.
Faster and harder, she rolled her hips and watched his eyes turn black. One hand snaked between them but he caught her fingers and moved them to the side, teasing her until she shattered. Sabrina clenched around him, pleasure rolling through her until all she heard was the keening cry of Gideon’s name as she climaxed.
Suddenly he rolled them, his own movements erratic, close to his own climax. Sabrina arched into him, her heels digging into the bed as pleasure spar
ked over her skin with each of his thrusts. When he came, he cried out her name, his body rigid as he found his release.
This time, when her eyes closed and she drifted to sleep, Sabrina had no desire to move. Perfectly content to lie there, she watched Gideon move to the bathroom to dispose of the condom before rejoining her in bed. This time, when he wrapped his arm around her, Sabrina snuggled into him.
“I can’t believe you didn’t get it,” he whispered into the crook of her neck. “That I was courting you.”
She felt his lips curve into a smile and returned it, though he couldn’t see it. Sabrina took his hand and laced her fingers through his.
“Well you did go through it in a rather ingenious way.” She laughed. “I really thought you cared about the sage-grouse. Though I was really confused by the fly. I mean, the grouse? Okay, I might be able to see why that. But the bug?”
Sabrina shook her head. Gideon laughed, and the warmth she’d spent months ignoring or pushing to the side because she didn’t think it mattered spread through her. This time she embraced it and sighed happily.
“I knew the band was going to be there and thought I could get you to dance.” Gideon kissed his way down her arm. “Who knew you’d wear the wrong shoes for dancing. Women and their shoes.”
She’d come up with any number of excuses to avoid physical contact with him. The wrong shoes had been one in a long line. Sabrina reached behind her and ran her hand over his naked hip and wondered at the drastic change in their relationship.
“But I thought for sure you’d get it after Playland. I never tried so hard in my life to get a hole in one.”
She laughed with him, her body humming every place his lips touched. They lapsed into silence, both comfortable, even as his lips grazed her shoulder.
“I was afraid we’d stay buddies.” He sneered the last word. With a sharp nip on the curve of her neck he added, “But I’m glad we haven’t. Because this is so much better.”
Sabrina turned in his arms and threw a leg over his hip. Pulling his head to hers, she kissed him, long and slow and deep. Pulling back just enough to see him, she said, “And so much sexier.”
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