Tangling With Ty

by Jill Shalvis

  She climbed the steps to the building thinking she should have stopped for some take-out, but before she could let herself in, Suzanne was there, smiling at her.

  Nicole scrunched her forehead, trying to remember. “Did I miss a wedding planning session?”

  “Nope. I just wanted to say hello.”

  “Me, too, you twit.” Taylor slung an arm around Suzanne’s shoulders and looked at Nicole. “You ever heard of returning phone calls?”

  She’d gotten their messages but hadn’t had the time to get back to them. Now that she was looking into their relaxed, happy-to-see-her faces, guilt sank in. Why hadn’t she made the time? “See, this is why I don’t do the friendship thing.” She unlocked her door and gestured them in. “I’m terrible at it.”

  “You’re not, you’re just busy.”

  “But you do have to remember we exist,” Taylor told her. “That would be nice.”

  “I’m sorry. Work—”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Taylor put her hands on her hips and studied the ceiling she’d had patched. “I don’t suppose you even noticed I had this fixed.”

  In truth, she hadn’t. What did that say about her? Besides the fact she’d purposely been so busy she hadn’t had time to breathe? “Um…”

  “Rhetorical question,” Taylor assured her. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

  “Look, I have to—”

  “You just got home from work, what could you possibly have to do?” Taylor sank into the futon couch in the living room and looked around. “You need furniture in a bad way.”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s a pretty noncommittal yeah. You planning on moving soon? Is that why you’ve never settled in here?”

  “I’ve settled in. I have a bed.”

  “Uh-huh.” Taylor lifted an eyebrow. “And half your kitchen is still in boxes on the floor.”

  “That’s because Suzanne keeps bringing me food so I haven’t had to cook.” Nicole smiled at Suzanne. “Thanks, by the way.”

  Suzanne smiled back. “Should I stop? Would that make you stay? If you had to settle in here?”

  “Stay? But…” She looked back and forth between them. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You sure about that?” Taylor stood, came closer. “Because I still have your rental app, which clearly states you haven’t stayed in one place for longer than a few months. We’re coming up on that mark now. Is it nearly time to move on? You’ve got a few people who care here, and I can tell it’s unnerving you.” She nodded as she studied Nicole far too closely. “Yeah,” she murmured. “Nearly time to move on, isn’t it?”

  Nicole crossed her arms. “So I haven’t lived in one spot for long, so what? Lots of people suffer from wanderlust and besides, I’ve had my job for a good long while, and that’s not going to change. That’s got to count as stability.”

  Suzanne’s smile was sad. “I don’t think it’s really wanderlust affecting you, Nicole. I think it’s fear of letting people close. I know, because before I met and fell in love with Ryan, I was the same way. Never really let people in.”

  Nicole turned to Taylor. “We have a vow of singlehood, have you forgotten? I’m pretty certain that means never letting people in.”

  “It means you don’t put a diamond on the ring finger of your left hand. But you sure as hell can do just about everything else, and should.” Taylor tipped her head to the side and studied Nicole until she squirmed. “You know we love you, right? And I think you feel something for us back.”

  “Well, mostly for Suzanne because she cooks for me,” Nicole said, trying to tease past the sudden lump in her throat. She never quite knew what to do with emotion, with easy affection such as she was being offered.

  “And I know you feel something for Ty—”

  “Actually, what I feel mostly right now is irritation.”

  Taylor lifted a brow. “Are you saying you don’t like him?”

  “Well, I—”

  “It was all over your face when he got hurt, Nicole.”

  “Because I’m a doctor! I hate to see anyone hurt, including a know-it-all Irishman.”

  “You were beside yourself because it was the know-it-all Irishman,” Taylor pointed out. “So much so that you even forgot your training. That was huge, you panicking like that. Huge and very unlike you.”

  “You even took a day off,” Suzanne so helpfully reminded her. “Remember?”

  “How could she forget?” Taylor grinned. “She discovered soap operas and cheesy old classic reruns. And she allowed herself to feel, to care. Didn’t you, Nicole?”

  What Nicole remembered most was the simple pleasure of that day. Sitting, for a change. And yes, watching TV. But most of all, she remembered the sight of Ty in her bed. Remembered thinking she could get used to that.

  “Or was it so good you scared yourself?” Suzanne asked quietly.

  “You guys have far too much time to think, you know that?” Nicole hugged herself, feeling…naked. “Yes, I care. Okay? I care about a lot of stuff.”

  “How about Ty?”

  “Yes, fine, Ty. Should I say it louder? I care for Ty! I care for him a lot.” She lowered her voice to a soft sigh. “So much that it terrifies me, and diving back into work was all I had. Happy now?”

  Ty stood in the front doorway, eyes on Nicole, smile grim. “I’m a lot of things, actually.”

  Nicole nearly swallowed her tongue. When the hell had he shown up? “Ty, I—”

  “I don’t have much experience with happy,” he continued. “But terrified?” He pondered that. “Definitely. I’m definitely terrified, Nicole.”

  Suzanne put her hand on his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze. “It gets easier.”

  “What does?”

  “Why, love of course.” She smiled into his shocked face and reached for Taylor. “We’ll just leave the two of you alone—”

  “No!” Nicole softened her voice with effort. Her heart was pounding. Her palms damp. She wanted to start running like hell and never stop. Love? Who’d said anything about love? For God’s sake, couldn’t one lust for someone without the L-word coming into play? “Taylor—”

  Taylor just laughed at Nicole’s face. “Oh, sweetie, if you could see your expression. Well, girlfriend, you’ve been too busy for too long, you never learned to slow down and take it all in. Now it’s happened without your permission, hasn’t it? And you haven’t a clue what to do with it. Poor baby.” She grabbed Nicole’s face and gave her a smacking kiss. “Good news, Super Girl. You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.”

  Okay, maybe Nicole had only recently realized what she was missing in her life. Maybe she’d only recently understood that life wasn’t all work and no play, but she still hadn’t reconciled it all, she still didn’t know how to get more for herself, or how to…

  How to face Ty, the man she’d foolishly thought maybe, possibly, hopefully could be the one.

  He wasn’t the one. He wouldn’t ever want to be the one.

  And he’d heard her shout how she felt about him. God. Talk about humiliation. “Taylor—”

  But they were gone. Leaving her alone with Ty, who was looking at her with an expression she supposed mirrored her own terror. “Well.” She tried to smile. “My day is complete.”

  He blew out a breath and looked at her. Really looked at her. “Something else is wrong,” he said.

  “Besides you being here?”

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” she muttered, a little cross that he could see through everything and find the lingering unease over the Dr. Watts scene. “It’s just that work sucked and now—”

  “Did that asshole try something again?”

  She stared at him, a little shocked by his deep tone of instant rage. For her. “Everything is going to be fine in that department.”

  “Sure?”

  His voice was every bit as low and gravely and sexy as she remembered, and she remembered plenty. “Very.”

  He drew another deep breath
as if struggling for patience.

  She knew the feeling. “So why are you here anyway?” she asked, more than a little defensively, crossing her arms.

  “I have a job here.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Now she felt just stupid. Of course he had a job here. What did she think, that he’d come to see her? How ridiculous that would be, how—

  “I’ll just get to it,” he said, and turned to the door.

  Only he slammed it shut while still on the inside, closing them inside the apartment together.

  Alone.

  11

  TY LOOKED at Nicole, who stood there seeming a little confused.

  Good, that made two of them.

  “What are you doing?” she asked warily when he came close. “I thought you were going to go do what you had to.”

  “I am.” He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and hauled her up to her toes so he could get a good look into the face he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about.

  She gasped. “But…I thought you meant work. You had to get to work.”

  “Who said anything about work?”

  “You— I—”

  “There you go stuttering again.” He set her down but didn’t take his hands off her. “I’m beginning to think you only do that around me, and you know what? I like it. But let’s stick to the subject. I want to set the record straight between us.”

  “Oh.” Her face cleared of all expression. She was good at that, he’d noticed, but then again, so was he.

  “I see,” she said stiffly.

  “I doubt it.”

  “No, I do. You regret what happened between us.”

  “Is that what you think?” He tipped up her face and saw that was exactly what she thought. “Is that why you left my bed?”

  “Don’t tell me you wanted to wake up with me.” She pulled her chin free of his fingers. “I saw the look in your eyes before you fell asleep. Panic, pure and simple.”

  “What you saw was fleeting.”

  “Because you fell asleep.” She closed her eyes.

  “And I didn’t blame you for it, so don’t worry. I’m not the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with.”

  He swore, then shoved his fingers through his hair and turned in a slow circle, trying to find the words. “Nicole, you’re exactly the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with. You’re smart, and sexy as hell. You’re amazing. But I was lying there, holding you, still shaking like a leaf, damn it, from the most incredible…” He let out a disparaging sound, having no idea how to say it. “Look, what we shared was different. First of all, I’ve never come so hard in my life.”

  She blushed, her expression one of surprise.

  “But it wasn’t just sex,” he said. “I know that sounds like a line, but it wasn’t. What we shared was a connection, a real one, and yes, damn it, it scared the living daylights out of me.”

  She was very still. “Go on.”

  Go on. Hell. He licked his suddenly dry lips. “I felt closer to you than I have to anyone. Ever.”

  The fist around her heart, the one that had been there since she’d first set eyes on him, loosened slightly. “Really?”

  “I felt like you knew me.”

  A warmth spread through her. “I did. I do. Ty, I do.”

  “No.” Now he closed his eyes. “You don’t understand.” He turned away, his shoulders stiff. “I came from nothing, Nicole. I was nothing.”

  “No, never that.” Her heart ached that he pictured himself that way.

  “You have no idea some of the things I did to survive.”

  “No one would ever blame the child you were,” she said fiercely. “No one. And you shouldn’t either.”

  “I know.” Misery radiated off him, so that she was propelled forward, propelled to put her hand on his back. His muscles leapt at her touch.

  “But I’m still that boy deep inside,” he admitted. “I’m still that wanderer. I still feel that need to keep moving. I…I started to feel that need again.”

  Now her heart all but stopped as he turned back to look at her.

  “You…you’re moving on?” she asked.

  “I’ve thought about it. Then I heard from my sister and I really thought about it.” There was nothing but truth in his eyes, the man who’d taught her the one thing no one else had ever managed, how to live outside the box. He was strong and smart and made her smile. He was passionate about work, about life, about everything in between. And unlike anyone before him, he made her feel the same way back.

  “It’d be so easy,” he said. “Easy to pick up and go start over.” He lifted a shoulder. “New York sounded good.”

  “Yeah.” She cleared her throat because it was so thick. He’d thought about leaving, walking away. “Ty…” Don’t. Don’t go.

  Reaching out, he ran his fingers over her jaw. Slid them down her throat and cupped the back of her head, tugging her a step closer. Mouth close to hers, his turned down in a grim, unbearably sad smile, he said, “But then I met you.”

  He still looked so utterly intent on going that there was no logical reason why hope suddenly burned through her bright as the sun. “And…?”

  “And…for the first time I wanted someone to know about me, know my past. Accept it. We know we’re different, Nicole. That I—”

  She stopped him with her mouth on his. She knew his past shamed him. Just as she knew the man he really was, a man with a heart and soul dying for acceptance and love, just like anyone else. He could hold people off with his easy charm and laid-back attitude, but he couldn’t hold her off, not for another second.

  He tried. Despite her mouth clinging to his, despite her arms wound around his neck, he hadn’t touched her, not yet, so she pulled back and held his face in her hands. “Please want me, too, Ty, if only half as much as I want you.”

  “Half?” He let out a half growl, half laugh. “Half. Hell…”

  “It’s okay, I—”

  “I want you more than my next breath, damn it.” His arms came around her hard, lifting her up against him. “But you’re supposed to know what’s good for you. Nicole, you’re supposed to send me away. You’re supposed to stay away from me.”

  “I won’t. I can’t.”

  “Well, then God help the both of us.” His mouth came down on hers again, but he shocked her with unexpected tenderness, with an irresistible gentleness, coaxing and nibbling her into a hunger only he could sate.

  As if she needed coaxing. After a long, wet, hot kiss, he lifted his head and stared at her. The hunger must have been all over her face because he groaned, and then his mouth slashed across hers again, and this time when they tore apart for air, they stared wild and wide-eyed at each other.

  “Not here,” she said breathlessly, staggering when he pulled back. “My bed.”

  “Nicole—”

  “My bed,” she repeated, and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward her bedroom before he could come to his senses and say goodbye. She didn’t want goodbyes, and she was banking on the hope he didn’t really want them either.

  It was late and the room was dark. She flipped on the light switch, then hesitated. Maybe she should leave them in the dark, give them some place to hide.

  No. No, she thought, turning back to him as she pulled her shirt over her head and watched his gaze flare with unchecked desire. She wanted to see him want her. Wanted to capture that and save it. Store it in a part of her heart to pull out when she needed.

  After he was gone.

  “Nicole—”

  She wanted to cry at the rough, low voice, tinged with regret. He wasn’t going to change his mind, not now, he couldn’t. She unbuttoned her jeans and he swallowed hard.

  “Wait, I—” His words broke off into a rough groan when she shoved the jeans down her hips and kicked them free, leaving her in a siren-red lace bra and a sunshine-yellow silk thong. Laundry day, damn it. She never matched for him. But she couldn’t worry about that now. To make sure he saw her, all of her, she turned in a
slow circle, running her hands down her own body.

  When she turned back to him, he was suddenly right there, so close she bumped into his chest. “Not fair,” he whispered.

  “What’s not fair is that you haven’t started.” She tugged on his shirt. He raised his arms so that she could pull it off and toss it over her shoulder. The bruises on his ribs made her physically ache for him. “Are you okay?”

  “Right now I am. I love your color choices today.”

  She grimaced. “One of these days I’ll get it together and pay attention in the morning.”

  “No, I like it. Tough, cool tomboy on the outside, thoroughly unorganized siren on the inside.” His palms slid up her sides to cup her breasts, while she combed her fingers through his hair, bringing his mouth back to hers for the hot, wet, deep kiss she’d been longing for.

  “Nicole.” His voice was hoarse, and he repeated her name as if he couldn’t hear it enough. He kissed her jaw, beneath her ear, her throat, touching her everywhere his hands could reach. Then her bra fell to the floor, followed by her mismatched panties. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.

  “Then don’t.” She opened his jeans and slid her hands inside, squeezing his very squeezable butt. Not enough, but she knew he couldn’t easily bend so she dropped to her knees to work his jeans down. She tugged off his knit boxers, too, her mouth watering as his impressive erection sprang free.

  “Nicole—”

  She took him in her mouth and he staggered back a step, then swore reverently as his hands entangled in her hair. His head fell back. She ran her tongue up his length, and he shuddered, but then pulled away and hauled her up to her feet.

  “Ty, I want to—”

  “Bed. Now.”

  “But—”

  “I’d play the hero and toss you on it,” he said in a thrilling rough voice. “But—”

  “Your ribs.”

  “My ribs,” he agreed, following her down to the mattress. Lying at her side, he touched her feet, ran his hands up her calves, over her knees…then met her gaze as he wrapped his palm around her thigh.