Enigma

by Tonya Kuper

  Reid turned the key, revved the throttle, and the engine roared to life under us. Turning his head over his shoulder, his pale irises met mine. “Last chance. Left to Flagstaff or right to the Hub?”

  My chest felt restricted, like I was wearing what I imagined a corset would feel like, and I couldn’t pull in a full breath. Left to be with Reid, but not my family. Right to protect my family, sacrificing a romantic relationship with Reid. The invisible corset wrenched tighter. “Right.” I gripped his waist, anticipating the turn.

  He didn’t reply, but he moved his hand on top of mine for a second to squeeze it. Bits of asphalt spat away from the tires as we headed north toward the Hub in the Rockies. The wind whipped through my hair, a flame of red twisting behind me from under my helmet.

  In Star Wars terms, I was Luke Skywalker and the Consortium was my own version of the Empire who wanted to wipe out all Jedi. We were off to join the Rebels—the Resistance in the Hub.

  The white line on the road trailed alongside the motorcycle, as if it were holding our hands, guiding us. There was something comforting about that white line. Even if it had to break, it came back. That’s what Reid had been for me the last couple of weeks—my anchor.

  I tightened my hold around Reid’s waist, pressing my body against his back. The warmth of his leather jacket on my stomach combated the cool breeze that had picked up the higher we climbed into the mountains as our journey stretched late into the day.

  An hour ago, he’d said we’d arrive at the Hub soon. I hoped for my numb butt’s sake it was sooner rather than later. Despite the peacefulness in watching the highway disappear in the mirror, the growl and whoosh of each semi passing us in the opposite direction made me flinch. With each flinch, I was taken back to the moment I Pushed the lightning that killed Santos. My mind was stuck, replaying the image over and over. The white light had temporarily blinded me as it streaked down the oil-slicked sky to Santos. His body had convulsed, his face contorted in horror.

  No matter what I had done the last few days, how often Reid had made me laugh, or how much we’d kissed late at night, guilt and shame had weaseled into my thoughts. The guilt-shame of taking Santos’s life wasn’t letting up. In fact, it was getting worse.

  We rounded a bend in the road and my chest twisted as if someone were ringing me out like a wet towel. My left lung ached like nothing I’d felt before. Was it my lung, though? Or was it my heart?

  Was this what it was like as Santos drowned? Had his lungs hurt and was his heart on the verge of explosion? Another picture of Santos coming after me on the beach, a sick and menacing smile on his lips, flickered in my mind.

  Another eighteen-wheeler passed and the lightning flashed in my mind again. When the face came into focus, though, it wasn’t Santos—it was Eli.

  Fear seized me, and I beat both hands on Reid. That’s when I noticed my hands were shaking, and my heart rate matched the rhythm of the shaking, fast and sporadic. Frantic.

  “Josie?” he yelled over his shoulder. I couldn’t manage words, I just beat my right fist into his back, holding on for dear life with my left arm, hooking it around his middle.

  Reid slowed around the next curve then pulled off the road at a scenic lookout. I jumped off the bike before it came to a complete stop, flinging my helmet off of my head. The gravel crunched under my boots as I ran to the edge of the lookout. Leaning over the railing, bracing myself on my forearms, I hung my head as I concentrated on deep inhales and slow exhales.

  Reid’s feet crushed the gravel as he sprinted to me. “Josie?” His voice was a higher pitch than I’d heard before, and it cracked at the end of my name.

  His warm hand landed gently on my back. “What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, unable to answer.

  Santos was a traitor. Santos tried to kill me. I will not be the reason Eli dies.

  A panic attack over Santos and this mole and imagining myself killing my little brother. At least that’s what I thought it was. I just needed the feeling to pass.

  I held up a finger, inhaling through my nose to the count of four and exhaling through my mouth to slow my breath and pulse. Eli and I often used the breathing during tae kwon do and sometimes after for guided stretching and meditation.

  Santos was a traitor. Santos tried to kill me. I will not be the reason Eli dies.

  I wiped the perspiration on my forehead away with the back of my hand. Reid didn’t force me to speak, but patiently stood behind me, his hand still on my back.

  I eventually straightened, letting out a long, pain-free sigh. Finally, I could breathe.

  “Santos?” he whispered. I nodded and my heart squeezed again just hearing his name, but not as severely this time.

  Reid’s hand slowly roamed up to my shoulder. “Are you okay?” That was a loaded question.

  No, I wasn’t okay, but he already knew that. He’d held me every night when I woke screaming from nightmares. He’d listened as I rehashed the Consortium’s attack on the rooftop after the serum hand off to the vice president. He’d watched me grow up with my family and knew they were everything to me.

  I touched my fingertips to his hand gripping my shoulder. I wanted to throw my arms around him and burrow my head into the crevice of his neck, the place I fit perfectly. I wanted to breathe in the smell of him, a clean, musky scent, and feel his warmth around me. Instead, I pulled my fingers away and nodded. “I’ll be fine.” The words came out quieter than I intended.

  I finally raised my eyes to take in our view. A blanket of evergreens covered the mountains surrounding us. “This puts Endor to shame.” I wished it were Endor. No one would be hunting me there.

  Crickets had begun their evening song, serenading us, filling in the silence. Moving forward, I leaned against the aluminum guard rail, the metal cool on my upper thighs through my jeans. I kicked a spray of gravel, rocks assaulting plants on the way down the side of the mountain into the gorge.

  Reid stepped beside me, his presence simultaneously calming because he had been my support since this whole mess started weeks ago, yet jarring because he couldn’t play the same role anymore. I cleared my throat. “This is beautiful.”

  His eyes focused on the mountains in front of us. “This is home,” he said.

  “Welcome home.” I guessed this was my home now. Temporarily. Indefinitely. I didn’t know.

  I stared at the place where the mountaintops kissed the watercolor sky. Pink cotton-candy clouds battled shadows gobbling up the mountains. The sharp smell of pine reminded me of family camping trips—my brother Nick and I racing through the woods and stony creek beds. The scent made me want to run, faster than I had ever before. Run to Mom and Eli in the Hub and find the mole.

  Running to them also meant losing my relationship with Reid. As much as I wanted to get to the Hub for them, part of me didn’t. Reid was my older brother’s friend who I’d secretly had a thing for since I was little. He was the one person I’d always wanted. How was I just supposed to turn off those feelings?

  Reid turned to face me, his hand reaching for mine, but he allowed it to drop before he touched me. He was afraid to get close. He was putting space between us to keep me safe.

  I had to let him go. An invisible pain spread through me. I was a piece of glass struck by a hammer. A spiderweb of cracks hid under my skin. I hadn’t thought being safe could hurt more than being in danger.

  I closed the space between us, his face only inches from mine. His eyes shut for a moment as he sighed. “Josie.” The word was drawn out and whispered.

  I traced his jawline with my forefinger. I had to get close. I needed it. I needed him. I shifted my weight forward to rise up on my toes, to touch my lips to his, but then I stopped.

  I couldn’t kiss him when I couldn’t have him. I backed away, instantly feeling chilly.

  A crease formed between his eyes. “We probably need to get going.”

  This was it. We were done.

  I turned to his motorcycle, but a Jeep had repl
aced Reid’s bike. Two weeks ago that would’ve freaked me the hell out, but not anymore. Reid had Retracted his bike and Pushed a Jeep. He used his Oculi abilities to manifest the vehicles, to observe reality. I opened the door of the Jeep and slid into the seat, limp and numb, sadness weighing me down. I stared out the windshield, focused on the mountain across the valley, but I wasn’t really seeing it. In my peripheral, Reid scooted behind the wheel and sat unmoving for several seconds. He hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand, making me jump in my seat.

  Reid turned toward me, his gaze intense. He swiftly slid his hand behind my neck and pulled me to him.

  His lips crashed to mine and pressed my mouth open. The warmth of his hand cupping my face and the grip on my waist, as if I’d disappear, fused me back together, making me whole again. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling him closer. When his tongue swept over mine, my soul ignited. Reid was the human form of helium, making me weightless, letting me soar. We kissed until we were both breathless.

  I let my hands slip down to his chest, his heart thumping against my palms. “Reid,” I whispered.

  His mouth hovered inches from mine. “That is how I feel about you,” he said, his breath tickling my lips. “I can’t do it. I can’t be without you. We’re stronger together.”

  I inhaled deep, thinking maybe I would fly away from the brief high of overwhelming joy. “I need you.”

  He rested his forehead to mine. “You have me.”

  He moved the hand on my waist to my jaw, his thumb sweeping across my cheek. “We can be together, but we have to hide it. It has to be only in private.”

  “Okay.”

  He glanced down to my lips. “And I can’t wait until the next time I can do that.”

  The mere idea of there being another time he’d kiss me with that kind of intensity heated my cheeks.

  Reid sat back in his seat, started the engine, and gave me his flirty half smile I’d grown to adore. “Let’s go.”

  I flipped down the visor and peeked in the mirror. Some tendrils of hair were wavy, some straight, and all of it completely out of control. My hair might as well be Captain Davey Jones’s tentacles from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

  With the next blink, I Pushed and a hair band appeared in my palm. I no longer felt sick each time I Pushed or Retracted reality.

  Inspecting my hair, I Pushed my hair straight then pulled it into a ponytail. Every Push or Retraction came with a price. Each Oculi had a bank of energy that was limited and every manipulation of reality was an energy withdrawal. When the bank was empty, it was empty. Oculi were encouraged to not waste Pushes and Retractions on little things we could do ourselves.

  I, on the other hand, was the daughter of the two scientists who’d taken the amplifying serum. My energy bank, like my older brother’s, seemed to work a little differently than other new Anomalies. I seemed to have endless energy. In fact, I had to use my energy, release some by Pushing and Retracting, just to take the edge off. My energy had grown in the last three days even, almost radiating off me at times. I’d only had these abilities for a couple of weeks and I was growing more powerful each day.

  “Is what I’m wearing okay?” I asked, checking out my retro Princess Leia tee and holey jeans.

  “Yeah. You look…” He glanced at me as he drove and a mischievous grin slid across his lips.

  “What?” My nerves were shot and we weren’t even to the Hub yet.

  He shook his head, smiling to himself. “You’re fine.”

  “Okay. I guess I’ll trust you on that.” Even though everyone at the Hub would know who I was, I wanted to make a good impression. Everyone in the Hub would have varying expectations of me, since I was the daughter of one of the founding families of the Resistance. Plus, my older brother had an Oculi degradation in the Hub, a rare consequence of observing reality into existence. Our observations traveled through the optic nerve to our brain. Sometimes our observations could randomly fry our nerves, which could lead to degradation of the parietal lobe, cerebrum, and cortex. A possible side effect of this kind of degradation was a psychotic break.

  “You can trust me.” His eyes locked on mine, this time not accompanied by a smile. “With everything.” He turned his attention back to the road, his profile dark against the waning sunset.

  I was banking on that trust. I wouldn’t be able to do anything without it. “I need to make sure I have this straight. Right now our plan is to figure out a way to expose the mole, possibly with me as the bait.” I knew he didn’t like that idea, so I ignored his serious side eye and continued. “This guy wants me dead, so he’s almost definitely going after my family. He may also try to take the Resistance down from the inside. Aaaand, we don’t know if he is working with anyone else inside the Hub, like he was with Santos.”

  “You got it, babe.”

  Anger seethed in my stomach as I watched thunderhead clouds billow from behind the mountain peaks. Energy buzzed in my fingers. This mole, this accomplice to my attempted murder, this orchestrator of the deaths of innocent people, didn’t know what was coming for him.

  2.

  Reid

  Me without Josie? Yeah, right. I’d had a thing for her since forever.

  Josie had done something to me. For almost two years I’d tried to shut off my emotions, but she made me feel. She made me a better person.

  I wanted to follow the rules for her own safety, but it was going to hurt us both. Hell, it’d only been since the morning that we’d broken up or whatever, and I was a freaking mess already. I’d played it cool for her, but on the ride north on my bike earlier in the day, I’d fallen apart inside. She’d chosen her family over me, and I got it. I understood. But, damn, it hurt more than I thought was possible.

  When we stopped and I saw her face, I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be without her.

  Hub rules. My rules. I was breaking them all now.

  I turned off the highway onto a single-lane dirt path. Goose bumps scurried up my arms, the mountain air growing cooler by the minute. I played with the temperature control as we passed a lone sign on the driver’s side. Private Property. Trespassers will be prosecuted.

  Josie’s head swiveled to read the sign. “Please tell me the next sign will say Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.”

  We both chuckled. I appreciated her sense of humor when things were so tense. Of course she’d reference X-Men.

  Our bodies jostled as I navigated over bumps and holes. Colonies of newly budded aspen trees stood randomly on the rocky mountainside, like they’d gathered to greet us.

  Our drive wasn’t necessarily dangerous, but I did need to pay attention in case I needed to Push or Retract. This road was abandoned—or at least the Hub needed it to still appear abandoned, complete with erosion and loose boulders. Precautions were put into place, too, for the rare case in which someone chose to trespass.

  Josie watched the path through the windshield of the Jeep, her head swiveling once in a while to check out a tree or something. The last rays of sunlight punched through a break in the clouds, making Josie’s strawberry-blond hair seem as if it glowed, fiery and bright.

  “Farther on there will be more signs on this path, as well as cameras,” I said.

  She turned to me in her seat, her eyes wide. I didn’t want her to panic again. That’s why I thought I should bring her up to speed on Hub life. Data calmed her down. “There are also cameras inside the compound, for our security. We’ll be watched or recorded everywhere. Except in our private quarters, of course.”

  The corners of her mouth curled up. “That’s a relief.”

  “They’ll have eyes on us once we reach the end of the road, where it looks like an old mine. Once we’re inside the mine, they’ll be able to hear us, too. Most likely we’ll be approached by troops. They’re kind of our form of security. I’ll demand an emergency meeting with top officials to get them started on the search for the mole and let them know you and your family are at risk. Ther
e’s only one person in the Hub I trust at this point. Cohen. I’ve known him since we were kids.” Though, I thought I knew Santos, too.

  She played with the hole in her jeans. “Cohen. Okay.” Her gaze drifted back out the window. The wheels in her head were turning. When she was on the quieter side, it usually meant she was thinking.

  “So,” she said, watching the scenery. “Instead of assuming everyone is innocent until proven guilty, I think we need to go in thinking the opposite. We assume everyone is a mole and we cross their name off the list once we have reason to believe they’re not.”

  I couldn’t swallow. I didn’t like that part of the plan, and she knew it. No reason to voice that again.

  Several minutes went by and Josie still stared out the window.

  “What are you thinking about?” I asked.

  Her head shook. “It’s silly.”

  With her hair pulled back, I could see the gentle curve of her neck. “I like silly stuff.”

  She played with her ponytail. Fidgeting. She tended to do that when she was nervous or worried. “I, uh—I wish I could talk to Hannah. Between moving so often and being homeschooled, she was my first real friend outside my brothers. And there’s something special about her. Like, we’re so different, but she got me, you know?”

  Yeah, I knew.

  Josie’s gaze fell to her lap.

  I pulled her hand into mine. “Hey. That’s not silly. You’ll see her again, okay?” She wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I wasn’t sure if holding her hand would help. I had to comfort her somehow, though. I squeezed her hand. “I will do everything I can to help you see her again.”

  Maybe Cohen could hook me up with a secure line, but I’d have to contact Hannah and divulge some info. Otherwise, she’d think something bad had happened to Josie. Another thing to think about.

  Her sad eyes met my gaze and she threaded her fingers through mine. “Thank you.” Her line of sight drifted back to the windshield, the pine trees growing thicker as we climbed higher. The pine scent battled the new car smell with the windows open.