Enigma

by Tonya Kuper

  Zac pulled up a hand. “Later.”

  Kat hugged Josie. “See ya tomorrow morning?”

  Josie smiled. “Yeah.” Seeing her in better spirits and working on a plan to find this mole helped my own mood.

  Everyone left the room and Josie and I hung back, moving slowly toward the training room door. Josie stepped beside me. “I think we’re moving in the right direction. Thank you.”

  I pretended to tip an imaginary hat to her. “Just doin’ my job, ma’am,” I said with my best cowboy voice.

  She giggled, and I decided it was my favorite sound in the world.

  11.

  Josie

  A knock came from the door and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

  I’d been in my mini apartment for over an hour after I returned from hanging out with Mom and Eli after dinner in their room, with Harrison in their hallway on watch. Mom and I tried to have a semi-normal family dinner for Eli. Mom told Eli about Dad being alive, we talked about some of the funny stuff that had happened on our vacations, and we even played a few hands of UNO.

  I fumbled to the door and squinted into the peephole. Reid. Thank Thor.

  Swinging the door open, I gestured for Reid to come in. Cohen stood outside my door, laughing at him, I guessed for looking like a pack mule. He had a large duffel strapped over one shoulder, a pillow under one arm, and a sleeping bag under the other. Reid wore the same clothes he had on earlier, but his shirt was rumpled. He’d been lying down, too.

  “I’m going to take off now.” Cohen was already trotting down the stairs. “Later.”

  “Thank you, Cohen,” I said. He raised a hand to acknowledge me.

  Reid’s gaze drifted down. “Are those floating Spock heads?”

  I scanned my Vader Who’s Your Daddy? T-shirt and Star Trek pajama pants. “If you’re just going to make fun of me the whole time, I’d rather go lie down and fall asleep where I can dream about Captain America, thank you.”

  I turned away and gave the door a nudge, but Reid caught the door with one hand and my wrist with the other. He tugged me into him, his face completely sober. “You didn’t let me finish. Nothing turns me on more than pointy ears on pajamas.”

  Heat flashed in my cheeks. Laughing, I swung my free hand and landed a soft punch on his shoulder. Solid.

  He gave me a bewildered look. “What is it with you and hitting? Use your words.” His lopsided grin pulled at his lips. He closed the door behind him.

  Stepping into him, I said, “Wait. How do I know this is you?” I hated to have to say that, but I couldn’t chance anything anymore.

  One corner of his mouth curled. “You’re so hot when you think logically.”

  I tried not to react. I kept a straight face, but this weird tingling spread through me. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  He crossed his arms. “Fair enough.” A gleam of playfulness burned bright in his eyes as I challenged him. “You and I made out on a pool table not long ago.”

  Oh, for the love of Khan! Did he really just say that aloud? My face ignited and I covered my eyes.

  “If you want, I can Push another pool table and we can finish where we left off.” His smile made my heart falter.

  Him being here was different than before. We shared a room for a few days before we were together, but then in the Jeep, he kissed me and said we’d continue whatever this was.

  Reid placed his things on the floor and cocked his head. “What are you thinking?”

  I leaned against the wall. “I kind of feel like the mole has interfered with so much of my life that he’s even stolen our relationship. This traitor has made decisions for us. I mean, normal couples decide together that they’re ready to move in with each other. You’re moving in with me because I’m in danger. I just—” I glanced at my bare feet and shook my head. The awkwardness was almost tangible.

  Reid’s finger pulled my chin up so I’d look at him. His eyes seemed bluer than normal and happy. “I get it. This traitor doesn’t get to steal everything, though. Let’s take a walk.” His smile made me smile.

  He grabbed my hand, tugging me to the door, and I Pushed flip-flops on my feet. Being on the second floor, I had a clear view of this section of the living quarters. The lights were dimmer than during the day. “That’s nice that they have different settings for the lights. The lights during the day are so bright.”

  Reid led the way down the stairs to the ground floor. “It’s because they use blue spectrum light to simulate daylight as much as possible. The first members in the Hub experienced all sorts of sleep issues, so they introduced the special lighting and found a way to get natural light down here where possible.”

  “Like in the Open.” I followed at his side down the hall.

  “Yeah. Tiny bits of light can be exaggerated with the use of mirrors. It’s also recommended to get out of the mountain every once in a while.”

  “Did you get out of here often?”

  “Yeah, I used to hike with my dad a lot. My mom would take me into Denver to shop and go to restaurants. We traveled, took pseudo vacations, usually to other Oculi families around the country…like your family.”

  I loved when his family visited. “So, it’s okay to walk around after quiet hours? We won’t get in trouble?” I asked as the hall met the Open.

  Reid paused. “No. We aren’t doing anything wrong. Quiet hours are just that. We don’t have to stay in our rooms, but we have to respect everyone else in the Hub. You know, especially the elders and the few families with younger kids.” The last several words were barely a whisper. “Besides, we try to keep everyone healthy, which means sleeping when we should. But”—his voice lowered—“if you want to do something and don’t want it viewed or questioned, you still have to mind the cameras. Like now.”

  I couldn’t help seeking out the closest camera.

  “Come on.” Tipping his head, he signaled to me to follow.

  He pointed to the high ceiling. “The entire Hub is lined with steel so we aren’t detected. We have a closed, contained green cleaning system for the water, tapped into the natural springs under the mountain. It’s not attached to a public sewer system.”

  The pipes were snuggled into the corners where the walls and ceiling met. Smart.

  We followed the hall toward the training rooms. “We’ll talk in a minute,” he whispered. Clearing his throat, he continued, “The air is also on a closed purifying system. The generators are below the garage. Here.”

  He stopped in the middle of the hall, one of the sections that was more primitive. The walls were made of all rock. His hand wrapped around mine as he ducked under a lip in the wall of stone. “Watch your head.”

  Stooping under a shelf of rock, I shadowed Reid, the light from the hall illuminating the way just enough to outline the rock. Reid guided my head so I wouldn’t hurt myself then moved me forward. “You can stand now.”

  Reid flicked on a flashlight. A narrow path lay before us, slightly uphill. Reid interlaced his fingers in mine and my stomach flipped at the simple touch.

  “What are we doing?”

  “We’re going to a secret spot to talk.” Reid’s words, though quiet, echoed back to us.

  The chill in the tunnel permeated my skin and sank into my veins.

  Climbing a slight incline and still holding my hand, he said, “We have to figure out a way to control the energy burst thing that happened today.”

  “Otherwise?” Yeah, I was asking him to tell me the consequences.

  “We don’t want to find out.”

  My feet stopped working, along with my lungs. The flashlight on Reid’s belt loop swung around as he turned to me, the narrow beam of light dancing on the rocky floor of the path. All I could see was the outline of his face hovering in front of my own.

  “It’s going to be okay. We are going to get through this.”

  “We.” It was amazing how much comfort one word could bring. We were in this together. I sucked in air, breathing easier.
<
br />   He pulled on my hand. “Almost there. Talk to me as we walk. Are you scared?”

  “I’m petrified. Of myself.” His fingers squeezed mine. “I don’t know how to control what I did today. I could’ve really hurt Cohen. I’ve…” I couldn’t say it aloud. But just because I hadn’t said it aloud didn’t mean it hadn’t happened or I could magically undo it. I’d killed. Yes, I could argue it was done in self-defense, but even that didn’t lessen the guilt and shame. “I’ve taken a life. I’m a murderer, Reid. I could have an Oculi degradation like Nick.”

  Using my other hand, I guided myself away from the jagged rocks. “If it gets to that, you have to promise you’ll do what you’re supposed—”

  Reid whirled around, placing a hand on each side of my face. I could barely see him. “It’s okay to be scared, but don’t think for a second that what happened was your fault. Do you understand? You are a good person put into a terrible situation.”

  I nodded, trying not to give in to the pressure behind my eyes.

  “You will not become your brother. You are not him, okay?”

  He wasn’t going to let me take the blame. But it wasn’t that simple for me. I nodded anyway.

  Reid pressed his lips to my forehead, then continued tugging me along the slightly uphill path. We followed the path over a ridge and Reid shined the flashlight ahead. A dead end. I didn’t get it. Was I missing something? The next second, a massive section of the rock wall in front of us was missing, big enough for us to pass through. Obviously, the wall thing was Reid’s doing.

  “Watch your step,” he said, focusing the light on the uneven ground.

  Once we passed the wall, Reid shut the flashlight off, but a greenish-blue light glowed around the corner. Hesitating, I said, “Please tell me you didn’t find the Tesseract.”

  “I don’t even know what that means.”

  “The cube of unmatched power in Avengers?”

  “The cube of what?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Already did.”

  “Jerk.”

  “Am not. Would a jerk bring you to his secret childhood hiding place?”

  Oh. “No. A jerk probably wouldn’t do that.” I bit my bottom lip, attempting to keep the grin off my face.

  His fingers unlocked from mine, leaving my hand feeling unexpectedly cold and empty, and migrated to the small of my back. Goose bumps covered my arms, and, almost like he could read my mind, a hoodie appeared on me.

  We turned the corner and I was speechless.

  A single moonbeam radiated down from above, splitting the darkness like a bolt of lightning in the night sky. The ray of light showcased a ledge of blinding sparkles, like a spotlight. Breathtaking.

  “I thought you might appreciate the quartz formations.” His words whispered against my neck like a feather. I stared, slack-jawed, admiring the ledge of quartz.

  Tiny green plants sprouted around the bed of quartz, casting a green-blue hue onto the pale cave walls.

  “It’s…” I couldn’t find the words. It was beautiful, but it was even more special because it was his place.

  Urging me forward, he said, “Over there.”

  A blanket lay on the ground, the moonlight streaking the air overhead. My heart shifted into warp speed.

  “Have you brought anyone else here before?” I didn’t mean to say it. That was supposed be a thought in my head, not said aloud.

  He chuckled as he ushered me toward the blanket. “Never. And I swear my intentions are pure.”

  I side eyed him.

  “Okay, so my thoughts may not be pure, but my intentions are. Otherwise, I would be trying to take your clothes off.” He yanked on my hoodie. “Not putting more on you.” And just like that, my face was on fire.

  He pointed away from the glittery ledge. “Lie down on your back, your head at that end.”

  I didn’t question him, mostly because I didn’t know what to say. No one had ever flirted with me the way he did. Definitely no one other than him had done anything vaguely romantic for me before. I also wanted to shove all the scary stuff away, my weird ability and a mole in the midst, even if only for a few minutes. I positioned myself on the blanket like he instructed, then watched as he lay next to me, his shoulder touching mine.

  Reid turned his head to me, our noses almost touching. “Look up.”

  Rolling my head, I gazed to the ceiling, only it wasn’t exactly a ceiling. A small hole in the cave opened to the sky, giving us a sneak peek of the moon and stars. It was as brilliant as the shelf of glowing quartz. But what mesmerized me most about this little adventure was this side of Reid I didn’t anticipate. This part of Reid dazzled me more than shiny stones or a breathtaking view.

  “Josie?” His index finger hooked mine.

  “Yeah?”

  “I—” His voice scratched. “I apologize for what happened with Nick.”

  My eyes closed and I was unable to make the rush of mixed emotions come together to form real words.

  “I’ve lived every day since his death with regret and sorrow,” he continued, his voice now in my ear. “I would do anything to undo it, to not have killed him.” His finger curled mine into his palm.

  My lids fluttered open and I swiveled my head, so we lay nose to nose.

  A hurt so real and deep hid behind Reid’s eyes. I was familiar with that kind of pain. “He was my friend,” he whispered. “And I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

  Nick dying was the start of the end of our family. I missed him, my best friend for so long, but I understood he wasn’t Nick anymore. And I’d realized as I’d eaten and played games with Mom and Eli tonight that our family wasn’t ending—it was just restarting.

  Part of me wanted to hate Reid for killing my brother, and part of me wanted to not be afraid to care for him as much as I did despite my brother’s death. Because I did care for Reid. I always had. And what was happening between the two of us was moving past caring for each other into a different territory.

  I stared out to the stars, where everything seemed much simpler. I had a simpler life before and I’d been fine. Lonely, but fine. Being homeschooled, constantly moving and not staying in a place long enough to make friends, I’d always longed for something more. Something more and simple seemed like opposites, yet they could simultaneously exist. And Reid was definitely something more. He was acceptance and inspiration and compassion. He made me a better version of myself.

  His hand wrapped around mine as I watched the sky and my chest suddenly seemed full. Reid was like quicksand—all consuming, sifting into parts of me I didn’t even know needed filling. I was tired of fighting the quicksand.

  I turned my head, meeting his gaze. “I forgive you.”

  His eyes squeezed tight and reopened. “You have no idea how much those words mean to me.”

  I did know. I’d needed to say the words. Forgiving him, and my mom, wouldn’t take away the storm of sadness and anger inside me, but maybe it could be the start of understanding and healing.

  But to really make things better, to make us right, I also needed to ask for forgiveness. “Can you forgive me? I killed Santos. I killed your best friend.”

  “My best friend deceived me. He betrayed the Resistance. He was trying to kill you, the girl I—” Reid cleared his throat. “He knew how I felt about you. That makes what he did all the more painful. All the more personal.”

  “Still. I robbed you of a relationship. I ended it before you got an explanation, or closure, or—” Santos’s horrified face flickered behind my eyelids as I blinked.

  Reid touched my cheek. “I forgive you, Josie.”

  The back of my throat ached, and I wanted to say more, but I kept a hold on my emotions.

  I don’t know how long we stared at each other, lying there, memorizing each other’s faces. It was like a veil had been lifted between us. I saw him before, but now he was clearer. He’d shown me the vulnerable side of him, a true, selfless part that was beautiful.

  �
��I lied earlier,” Reid finally said. “I’ve shown this place to one person.”

  Jealousy itched through my chest. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know about another girl he’d brought here. “Oh?”

  “I discovered this place when I was nine years old. I finally showed it to my mom about a year later. She said it should stay my secret place, that I needed something to call my own, since I shared my life and home with so many others. Mom thought I should only share this with someone who was as special as the place itself.” His dark lashes fanned down as his eyes closed for a moment. Then his gaze met mine again and his thumb drew circles on the back of my hand. “You’re the only one who has ever been special enough.”

  Before we entered the Hub, Reid said he couldn’t wait for the next time he could show me how he felt about me. I thought he meant make out with me, but this was better. Honest. Real.

  I struggled to find the appropriate words. “I’m not sure I’m worthy of—”

  “You’re more than worthy, Josie. I want you to be mine. Can I, uh, call you my girlfriend?”

  I couldn’t comprehend his words. Absolutely astonished and slightly embarrassed, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

  The last couple of weeks were proof that all we had was the moment in which we lived. The next day wasn’t certain. If I wanted to do something, as long as it was reasonable, I needed to do it. I wasn’t going to live with disappointment, not when I could do something about it. So I shifted toward Reid and he began to get up, but I placed my hand in the center of his chest and shoved him back down. His eyes widened in confusion or maybe surprise.

  Bracing myself on all fours, I looked down at him. No smart-ass comment, no sly smile. His gaze traveled over my face, then he licked his lips. For the love of Kahn. How did I, the sci-fi nerd, end up with a person with a heart of gold who looked like a movie star? I finally answered him. “Yes.”

  I lowered my mouth to his, his eyes closing before mine, which did something silly to my insides. He wanted me to kiss him. The feeling of being wanted and needed melted my mind. The softness of his lips surprised me every time. I pulled away from the sweet and tender kiss, allowing only a breath between our mouths. “Thank you for this. Thank you for setting up my chat with Hannah. Thank you—”