Forget Me Not

by Madden, J. M.

  Chad hurried through his shower and getting dressed again. Rather than put the same sweaty boot prosthetic on and a pair of jeans, he pulled on a pair of jogging shorts and his blade prosthetic. Then he brushed his teeth and hair and hurried downstairs.

  His mother did a double take at the sight of his blade, but she smiled. "You never used to want to wear the blade around here."

  Chad shrugged, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. "Times change."

  "Yes, they do," she sighed.

  "You okay, Mama?"

  She nodded. "Yes, just planning what to feed the crew tomorrow. Your father is asleep in the recliner. He won't be able to sleep in a bed for a long time, I don't think."

  Chad frowned. "Really? Ah, because he can get up out of it easier," he mused. "Want us to move a recliner back to your bedroom? We’ve got a bunch to pick from. That way you can still sleep with him, kind of."

  Her pale blue eyes turned luminous with tears and she nodded. "I think that would be a fabulous idea. Thank you for thinking of it."

  "We'll do that tomorrow. You already have a TV back there and everything. He can be comfortable without other people around him."

  She nodded and squeezed his arm. "I'm glad you're here, Chadwick. I've missed seeing you."

  "I've missed seeing you too, Mama."

  Turning to the microwave she removed a meal and handed it to him. "Lora is on the back patio. Go join her."

  Chad did as he was told.

  Lora looked up from her computer and smiled at him. "Hey, babe. Let me finish this email and I'll shut it down."

  "You have a few minutes. It'll take me a while to get through all this food."

  Lora grinned. "You can do it. I have faith in you."

  Chad ate most of the food while Lora clattered on the keys of her Mac. The sun was just slipping down below the horizon, casting an orange glow over everything. He was almost done eating when his mother carried out two little plates of pie with whipped cream on top. "Thought you might want something sweet to end with."

  Lora groaned. "I can tell I'm going to gain weight here," she laughed.

  Francine grinned and winked at her, then returned to the house.

  Chad cleaned his plate, then pulled the little plate in front of him. It wasn't whipped cream on top, it was meringue. Somewhere mom had picked up a lemon meringue pie. He groaned as he swallowed it down. "That's good."

  Lora ate hers as well after she closed up her computer, and she looked at him with a smile in her eyes. "You look content. More than I've seen you in a long time."

  Chad told her about the conversation with Brock and her eyebrows shot into her hairline. "Wow, that's really something. Sounds like he has a new understanding of your life now and what you’ve been through since you were injured."

  Chad frowned. "I don't know. Maybe. We'll see what happens."

  "Try to keep it lighthearted. I know he seems pretty dark, but it has to be a lot of responsibility taking on the running of the ranch, too. And if he was there when your dad went down, it had to be hard."

  Yeah, it did. He'd probably thought Dad was dead when he saw him crumple like that. They'd had injuries on the farm before, some even worse than what had happened to Dad, but during the incident it had to be alarming.

  He wished he'd been there for his brother, because he really didn't have anyone. If he’d open his eyes and look at Payton maybe that would change, but…

  "Your brother is a strong man. If he has even a smudge of your strength of heart, he'll be fine."

  Chad smiled at her crookedly. "I love you, baby. I really do. Thank you for everything you've done since you've been here too."

  She shook her head. "I haven't done anything, really. But I'm about to."

  With a slight grin she stood from the table and held her hand out to him. "Can I have a mint?"

  Chad wondered at the intensity in her eyes. Something was going on, but he wasn't sure exactly what. He handed her one of the mints he had in his shorts pocket. She took it from his hand and looked at it for a long moment. "You told me you would always have a mint for me. No matter what. And that you would love me always."

  When her eyes filled with tears he grew alarmed. Pushing to his feet he reached out to cup her cheek. "Of course, babe. What's going on?"

  She looked at the ground, shaking her head. A crystalline tear dripped from her cheek to the ground, then another. "You've been a better partner than I have, and I'm sorry for that."

  His stomach bottomed out. "You have nothing to apologize for. You're following your dream and securing a future for your daughter with Malone."

  She shook her head again before looking up. "But that's wrong. I thought I was doing what was right but as I look back and realize how wonky things have gotten, I've realized you are the most important part of the equation. You are what’s secured her future, not the money I'm making or the legacy I'm building. You have had more of an impact, positive of course, on her life than anything I've done."

  "You're her mother," he disagreed. "She looks up to you for everything."

  Lora smiled sadly. "She used to, but she's grown so much since we met you. She's learned that it's okay to rely on another person, and I'm so thankful that you are that person, Chad. In this one thing I am more of a child than my own daughter. I know this sounds a little defeatist, but I'm not meaning it to be. The good part is coming, I promise."

  She flashed him a smile and his tension eased incrementally, but he could still see the turmoil that had turned her eyes dark green. It made his heart ache for her. She'd been struggling with something for a while. "You know I love you dearly. Speak your heart."

  Her smile lit up her face. "When I got together with you it was a very disconcerting experience. I had never relied so heavily on any man before. I think I expected you to bail at any minute. I immersed myself in the corporation and the class work, but I've come to realize that it was all a shield." She reached up to stroke his cheek. "I was actually avoiding the relationship with you. I didn't want to believe that you were as perfect as you seemed, and that you could actually love broken down, soiled me."

  Chad started to protest but she held up a slender hand. "I know you don't see me like that, but in my mind I do, I did. I was in an abusive marriage longer than the two of us have been together, so it's taken me a while to even contemplate being a whole, independent woman. And I think I've unconsciously delayed making the final commitment to you, marriage, for a couple of reasons. The first being I've enjoyed being in charge of this huge corporation. It's a bit of poetic justice. I'm running the company that once financed the attempted abduction of my daughter."

  Chad wasn't sure he liked the look in her eyes. It was a little frantic and glossy, like she was remembering the trauma, but she focused her gaze back on his and the vagueness disappeared.

  "And I think the second reason was because I always expected you to find someone better than me." Her eyes filled with tears but she tipped her head back to keep them from falling. "But you're not looking for better than me. When I watched that Tara woman flirting with you for hours, and your non-response, it suddenly hit me that I've never had worries about you physically cheating on me. It's always been my fear of not being enough for you."

  She ran her hands through her long hair, looking out over the land. "I came out here, though, and things have become clear. Cheyenne mentioned a few things to get me thinking, and I've noticed others. I've had my head in the sand for a long time and I apologize to you for that."

  Chad stroked her cheek, almost overcome with emotion. "I didn't want to push you because I didn't want to set off the same triggers your ex did. Even when you were lost in your work I still loved you dearly. But I definitely hoped," he grinned, "that you would cut back a little and remember we were still here waiting for you."

  Tears rolled down her cheeks, but he swiped them away with his thumbs, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

  "I've woken up," she promised him. "I'm seeing everything
I'm supposed to be seeing. And I love you more than I ever have." She looked up at him, her eyes clearing. "Which brings me to the point of this conversation."

  Lora grinned at him and stepped back, holding his hand high for a moment, as if in a dance move. Then she dropped to one knee in front of him, posing. She held out the starlight mint like a ring. "Chadwick Lowell, you have the patience of a saint and I wish you'd kicked me in the ass sooner to wake me up to what I was doing to our family. I love you more than I ever expected to and I love you more today than I did yesterday. Thank you for being the man and father that you are. I hope you will agree to marry me again. But this time, with a definite wedding date."

  She was still smiling by the time she came to the end, but he could see the anxiety in her eyes. He lifted her to her feet as quickly as he could. "You know I love you dearly and I would wait years for you to be ready for marriage. I wasn't pushing you because you're worth waiting for. I will say, though, I'm glad you've recognized a few things. I don't think I'm cut out to talk to Mercy about boys, or boobs. Or periods. Oh, hell, to the no."

  They laughed together and it was as natural as breathing to reach for each other. They just hugged for several long moments, before Lora drew back. "I'm glad you said yes, because I've kind of been pondering an idea. What do you think about having your dad plan the wedding?"

  Chad reared back as if he'd been kicked by a longhorn. This was apparently the night to test his constitution. "Wh-what? Dad?"

  Lora nodded, her jaw firming. "Your father is going stir crazy not being able to help out. You just saw a small part of what we dealt with today. The anxiety is very real for him, and probably not good for his recovering heart. What if we give him another job to do, to concentrate on something not physical so that he's not missing the ranch work? I'll pick my dress, but he can design the wedding." She looked up and out over his mother's lovingly-landscaped back yard. "I would be happy to have it here, sometime in the next few months. Fall, I think."

  He took a deep breath, realizing how serious she was. This was a monumental step. He'd brought up getting married before, but she'd always had some something to get in the way. His heart swelled with pride.

  "I can't commit a lot of time to planning it," she told him simply. "I've told William to take control this week, but soon my nose will be back to the grindstone. With a new purpose, though. I'm going to see about taking a back seat, if William is comfortable running it more long-term. He signed on under the expectation that I would eventually take over, but I don't want to do that any more. I love the business, I love seeing that I'm having a positive impact on it, but Garrett being injured has been a blessing in disguise. I just want to be with you guys. I've loved the past few days, hanging with Mercy and seeing a completely new side of you." Her eyes glinted with orneriness. "A new, sexy side of you."

  Chad nodded. "Yeah, it's the horse sweat," he told her, deadpan. "It has natural aphrodisiac properties."

  He laughed when she wrinkled her nose. "Honestly, it doesn't bother me too much. It has a very you flavor to it."

  Leaning down, he kissed her on the lips, lingering when her mouth softened beneath his. Lora was right. The past few days had been a true reconnection and he wanted it to last. "Let's try to be very cognizant of our obligations and our priorities when we get home. Are you still going to get your business degree? I definitely think you should. You've put too much time and effort into it not to follow through."

  "Yes, but I don't have to jam as many classes into my schedule as I have been. I felt like I was under a deadline, but I'm kind of letting that go. William is doing a great job with the company and he's hired great people to work under him. The immediacy to get in there and control every little item is still there, but being with you and Mercy is more important to me. The corporation could go under tomorrow and we would be fine, money wise. That's what I need to remember. When I was with Derek I had an emergency go-bag hidden in my bathroom, and I would save the spending money he would give me and I would squirrel it away for when I broke away. The practice worked for me that time, and it's hard not to squirrel more and more away."

  He nodded, understanding. "I understand." Reaching out, he stroked her hair behind her ear. "Without sounding condescending I want to tell you I'm proud of you."

  "Well, I've had some not so proud moments recently. Coming home and finding Denver PD babysitting your kid is not fun, even if he is a friend."

  "Be glad it was Dean and not Rachel. She would have read you the riot act. Twice. Second time like a Marine."

  "I know," she sighed. "And she would have been completely right to do so. You could have read me the riot act and I would have taken it."

  "I know, but I could see the anxiety in your eyes. You didn't need me to verbalize it."

  "No," she sighed. "You always know what to say or do, but I want you to know you can talk to me more. You don't always have to stuff everything down. You and your dad have that in common. You both steam," she laughed.

  Chad frowned at her. "Whatever. I don't steam."

  "Okay, stubborn."

  They laughed together and it was free and easy, one of the most relaxed moments he could ever remember being in his life. Lora was the love of his life and they had a long future together. And it had taken them time, but they were more clear-eyed about finding the balance. "I love you, Lora. With every breath in my body."

  "I love you, too, babe."

  With a final kiss she turned and tugged him toward the house. "Let's go talk to your dad."

  "Wait, you were serious about that?"

  Chapter 15

  “Emily.”

  Emily squeezed her eyes tight, cursing inwardly. She should have known that Jackson would be looking for her.

  Naively, she’d thought he would be busy with the animals, or heading to his own house for dinner, because the truck he drove was gone. So she’d gone for a walk toward the paddocks, leaving her parents chatting on the porch. There was a temporary metal pipe corral set up against one of the paddocks, with a young horse inside it. It had been a long time since she’d been near horses, and she wanted to take advantage of the quiet time while she could. She had a couple of carrots in her pockets, to be broken up into pieces if the little horse would come to her.

  She’d scanned the area diligently. No Jackson. She’d planned to visit the one horse, then return to the house.

  But of course it couldn’t be that easy.

  Sucking in a huge breath of air, she turned around.

  Holy crap. Even in the almost completely dark evening, she could see his huge form in the shine of the moon, and it sent a thrill through her. Jackson Windwalker was a large man, but he managed to walk like a ninja. It was why she hadn’t heard him. It was why she never heard him, she thought with a quiet laugh. His name suited him so perfectly.

  “Hello, Jackson. How are you?”

  He reached out a hand to run a finger down her cheek, and her breath stalled in her chest. A rough thumb pad brushed over her lips. “I’m better now that I can see you.”

  Emily blinked, her heart taking off into a gallop. With just a few words he reminded her of so many things— love, laughter, racing the wind.

  Reaching up, she cupped his broad hand in her own, then gently pulled it away. “I’m sorry, Jackson. I shouldn’t have come out here and given you the wrong idea.”

  Years ago they’d met at the corrals for their midnight rides. It had been a secret thing they’d done every full moon.

  She glanced up at the sky. Yep, a full moon. Had she subconsciously been aware of that?

  There was a snuffling at her shoulder and she thanked the gods above for sending her a distraction. Trying not to move too fast, she turned to face the corral. A yearling filly stood a few inches away, ears pricked as she investigated the humans. Reaching into her pocket, Emily brought out one of the carrots and snapped off an end, then held the piece out to the little horse. Soft velvet lips brushed over her hand as the treat was taken, but the
little horse tossed her head, unfamiliar with it, before she bit into it and began to chew. Emily chuckled as the horse moved her lips around, trying to get all the little pieces of carrot down.

  The entire time, though, she could feel Jackson standing behind her. His heat and energy radiated out against her. When a finger brushed at the shell of her ear, pushing her loose hair away, she didn’t move.

  This was a terrible position to be in. Jackson had a heart the size of Texas, and she didn’t want to hurt him for anything, but they couldn’t just take up where they’d left off. She had obligations in Houston that she couldn’t get out of.

  It took a monumental effort to move a few millimeters away from the touch on her ear. “Please don’t,” she whispered. “I’m only here for a few days to help out, then I’m returning to Houston.”

  Rather than move away she felt him move closer to her back, blocking the slight breeze. Without touching her he lifted his arms and clasped the top pipe of the corral in his fists, effectively caging her in. His lips brushed at her ear. “A lot can happen in a few days,” he whispered.

  Emily clenched her eyes shut, her body taking up a tremor. She gripped the bar in front of her. “We can’t, Jackson. Please don’t do this. I can’t do this.”

  The tip of his nose ran around the outside of her ear, and he leaned into her. “Why not?”

  She hadn’t wanted to let him know like this, but he left her no recourse. Just a few more seconds and she would be in serious trouble. “Because I’m engaged, Jackson.”

  For a moment nothing happened, then his arms fell away. He stood behind her silently for several long seconds before the cool air moved in against her back. When she opened her eyes, the engagement ring on her left hand blinked in the moonlight where she gripped the pipe. Turning around she looked for Jackson, but he was gone.

  Chapter 16

  Lora clutched Chad's hand, feeling jubilant. Francine and Garrett were still on the front porch, enjoying the moonlit evening. Porch lights glowed softly a few feet away. They looked up and both of them returned her wide smile. Garrett was finally beginning to lose his hospital pallor.