Her Brother's Keeper

by Beth Wiseman

  “Did you ever want to leave here? I mean, you had the opportunity when you were a teenager, right? Since I was older when I was baptized into the faith, I’d already experienced the world, so it wasn’t really an issue.” Her lies were festering like an infection, and there was no chance of healing until she came clean about everything, and even then . . . she wondered if there would be scars. She thought again about Jacob. She was going to have to find out exactly what he’d overheard, if anything.

  Hannah shook her head. “Nee, I never wanted to leave. Mamm and Daed gave me a chance to experience some of the Englisch world, but Daed also kept a firm hand on what I did. He is stricter than some of the other fathers in our district, but he doesn’t seem as strict with Jacob as he was with me.”

  “What is it that made you stay?” Charlotte twisted in her chair to see Hannah, shading her eyes from the setting sun to her right.

  “What is it that made you stay?” Hannah raised one eyebrow as she threw the question back at Charlotte.

  Charlotte sighed, wondering if there was a version of the truth she could offer up since she was so tired of all the lies. “It’s safe here,” she finally said. Even though Hannah had told her that family violence and other unpleasant acts happened even within the safety net of their community.

  “You mean, it’s safe in your district in Texas? Or you feel safer here, with us?”

  Charlotte scratched her forehead. “Both,” she said. “Safer than on the outside—in the English world.”

  “I wouldn’t think that’s enough to convert.” Hannah obviously had as many questions as Charlotte. “I can understand you wanting to be away from your mamm, to start a life free of abuse, but surely there were chances for you to do that in the Englisch world.”

  Charlotte needed to get away from this conversation thread, to ask Hannah what she really wanted to know, but she responded with another lie, a fib that she wished was true. “I wanted to find a more spiritual life, to have a true relationship with God.” In her mind, she tried to justify what she’d just said by using the relationship she was finding here and now.

  Hannah smiled. “Kind of like Ethan.”

  Perfect. Now Charlotte didn’t have to figure out a way to start a conversation about her brother. But so much had happened, she wasn’t sure if she could hear any more without crying.

  “Ethan was a surprise in so many ways,” Hannah said, looking out over the green, lush yard. “When we first met, I could have never imagined that he would be interested in me, in being baptized into our faith, or in marrying me.” She paused, a faraway look in her eyes. “Ethan was funny. He made me laugh. And he was very compassionate, about people, animals, strangers, and causes. I fell in love with him very quickly.” She blinked her eyes a few times. “But he was his own . . . hmm . . . I think the Englisch say it like this . . . he was his own worst enemy. Ethan was hard on himself. He never expected anyone else to be perfect, but he seemed to demand it of himself. And sometimes, when things didn’t go like he thought they should, he would get very sad.”

  “I hope you will find someone else,” Charlotte said, it being the most truthful thing she’d said all day.

  “I hope so too.”

  They both turned toward the door when the hinges on the screen creaked. Hannah stood up and pulled the screen door wide so Jacob could maneuver his telescope onto the porch, then Hannah helped him carry it down the steps. Luckily it was on rollers, and Jacob pulled the telescope out to the middle of the yard, citing something about a planetary alignment later in the night. It wasn’t even dark yet, but Lena would be calling them in for devotions soon.

  “Mamm hates that thing,” Hannah said with her hand to her forehead, blocking the sun’s rays. “Jacob is so interested in anything to do with space, Mamm is fearful that he will leave the community to pursue his interests.”

  Charlotte watched Jacob setting up and positioning the telescope. It was as big around as some of the trees in the yard and about four feet tall. Charlotte assumed he’d saved quite a bit for the purchase.

  “Um . . . Isaac drove me by your fiancé’s house—by Ethan’s house.” She kept her eyes on Jacob, forcing herself to sound casual.

  Hannah leaned her head back against the rocking chair and sighed. “I avoid driving by there since that is where Ethan took his life, but maybe I shouldn’t. We also had some wonderful memories there.” She glanced at Charlotte and smiled. “One of the first things we did was to put out bird feeders. Ethan loved anything that flew. Birds, butterflies, and even bats. He had a small bat house, but I made him put it on the far side of the yard. Bats aren’t my favorite of God’s creatures, but Ethan found them fascinating.”

  Charlotte smiled, knowing this to be true. Especially about the butterflies.

  Hannah scowled. “His sister owns the house, but I don’t even know if she knows that.”

  Charlotte’s breath caught in her throat. “Oh,” she managed to say.

  “Ethan had the papers drawn up to deed it to his sister before he died. He said that once we moved to our new haus, he was hoping it would force her to come for a visit, to either sell the house—or stay awhile and get to know everyone. But we didn’t go out of our way to tell her. And maybe that was wrong of us because Ethan loved his sister. But she was awful to me and my family after he died. I already knew that Ethan wanted to be buried here, but when we tried to explain that, the next thing we knew, she had the lawman threatening us if we didn’t allow his body to be sent back to Houston.”

  Charlotte felt a muscle flick in her jaw. “She probably just loved her brother and wanted him buried close so she could visit him.” She hoped Hannah couldn’t see her lip trembling.

  Hannah shrugged. “I guess. I think she should have thought about what her bruder would have wanted though.” She paused, tapping her chin. “Ethan’s sister wasn’t happy with his choice to convert his faith, so I’m sure she wasn’t happy that he was planning to marry me either. He’d asked her to visit several times, but she declined, and that hurt him. He very much wanted to have her in his life even though she was Englisch. But he said she had a lot of problems.”

  The hair on Charlotte’s neck began to prickle. “Like, what kind of problems?” Even though Charlotte was still trying to adjust to the fact that she owned the little blue house, she couldn’t imagine what Ethan might have told Hannah.

  “He just said she was bitter, misdirected, and didn’t have any faith.”

  Charlotte grunted. “How could he know that? She might have had all kinds of untapped faith that she just didn’t understand.” She quickly looked at Hannah, regretful of her revealing outburst.

  Hannah frowned. “Untapped faith? What is that?”

  Finally. A chance to tell the truth. “When a person knows there is something else out there, a deity, a reason for living, but they’ve never been educated in a way to understand that it’s God.” She wondered if Hannah would get it. “That’s how it was with me before I became Amish.” Okay, so a tiny lie at the end.

  “I don’t know. I wish I could have known her since Ethan loved her so much, but it was clear that she didn’t want anything to do with us.” Hannah sighed, raising her shoulders, then slowly lowering them. “And maybe it’s for the best. I don’t think I would have liked her.”

  “Why? Just because she wanted her brother’s body returned home?”

  Hannah turned to Charlotte. “This was his home.”

  Charlotte had to give her that, but her mind was awhirl with other thoughts.

  “His sister asked all kinds of questions after he died, and maybe I should have done more to help her find peace,” Hannah said before she sighed. “But I didn’t understand either. Ethan would get depressed, feel better, then get sad again. But we’d been happy for a long time. I wrote her back that I didn’t know why he had taken his life, and when I saw phone calls coming from a number I didn’t know, I just didn’t answer.

  Glancing at Hannah, Charlotte fought the bitterness tryi
ng to worm its way into her emotions, but she really couldn’t blame Hannah for thinking she wouldn’t like Ethan’s sister. Charlotte didn’t like herself sometimes. But things were changing, and she was looking forward to putting the past behind her, making a full confession about all the lies, and basking in the new friendships she’d made here. Thankfully, the Amish were a forgiving bunch. She might not see them as often as she’d like, but at least she’d be able to call and write letters. Charlotte was also encouraged about her developing relationship with God, and thankful that it was something that would travel home with her. And then there was Ryan . . . she wondered where that connection might lead as well.

  Thirteen

  I’m sorry it took me so long to call you. My battery went dead, and I had to get to town. There’s a coffee shop that Hannah and I go to sometimes, and we get a muffin and charge our phones.” Charlotte snuggled into the covers on her bed.

  “Do all the Amish people have phones?” Ryan asked.

  “Pretty much. I guess they can’t bypass all technology. Hannah told me about a few people who absolutely will not own a cell phone. They have these little shacks that are like phone booths. They call them shanties, and several families will share one. Hannah said some of the phones are still rotary dial.”

  “I can barely hear you. Where are you?”

  “I’m in my room. I have the fan on high, but I’m still trying to be quiet because I don’t know if Jacob is asleep. He stays up late sometimes. He was standing outside my door last time I was talking to you. And now I’m worried how much he might have heard.”

  “Did he say anything?”

  “No. Not to me. And he isn’t acting any differently, but it was just odd.”

  “How are your hands?”

  “Better. They look awful but feel better. Lena put something on them, some concoction she makes out of goat milk. It smells weird, but it helps with the pain. And she told me I won’t have scars if I keep them covered and alternate between applying Vaseline and her goat stuff. I asked her if I should let them dry out and scab, and you should have seen the look on her face. She said absolutely not, that a cut or scrape should never be allowed to dry out. She said that’s what causes a scar.”

  Ryan grunted. “Wow. And we were taught to let a wound go uncovered so it will scab.”

  “I know. The things you learn in Amish Country.” She chuckled. “But I’m doing what she said, and it’s already looking better.”

  “Did you decide when you’re coming home?”

  “I haven’t even looked at flights. I know I need to start thinking about that. But, guess what? Apparently I am the owner of Ethan’s little house here in Paradise, Pennsylvania.” She filled him in on her conversation with Hannah this afternoon, talking as softly as she could. “So, I was thinking about maybe fixing up the place. After I tell them all the truth, of course.”

  “Then you’ll put it on the market?”

  “Yeah. I briefly thought about keeping it, fixing it up, and having my own little vacation spot, but considering what happened there . . . I think I should just sell it.” Charlotte fluffed her pillow, shined her flashlight on the far wall, and wished there was a way she could get her sheets to smell like this at home, cottony fresh. But there wasn’t the luxury of a clothesline at her apartment complex. She breathed in the freshness and wished she could bottle the aroma and take it home with her.

  “I really thought you’d be home by now, but since you’re not . . . I have to be in Harrisburg on Monday for a meeting. It’s a short trip, and I need to get back to Houston, but there’s this cute little Amish girl I was hoping to take to dinner.”

  Charlotte sat taller. “You’re kidding me.” She brought a hand to her chest. Ryan traveled quite a bit for work. He was contracted by the Department of Homeland Security and oversaw the installation of security equipment in government buildings.

  “Nope. I Googled it, and it looks like you’re about an hour from Harrisburg. Early dinner?”

  “Yes, yes.” Charlotte didn’t realize until that moment how much she wanted to see Ryan. They’d had several long phone conversations and their friendship had grown more personal since she’d come to Paradise. “I would love that.”

  She jumped out of bed when she heard a noise. “Hang on. Either a very confused bird just slammed into my window—at night—or . . .” She peered out her window. “There’s someone down there.”

  “Probably the boyfriend wanting you to come out and play.” Ryan laughed.

  “Ha, ha,” Charlotte said sarcastically and strained to get a better look. “It’s Jacob,” she said as a small rock tapped against her window again. “No idea why he’s throwing rocks at my window instead of coming in like a normal person. I better go see what he wants. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “I can’t wait to see you.”

  Charlotte smiled at the tenderness in his voice, then borrowed a line from one of her favorite movies. “Ditto.”

  She walked to the corner of her room where several dresses were hanging on a rack. She pulled off her nightgown, threw on a dark-green dress, and tiptoed downstairs. The moment she opened the door, the cool night air hit her. She slipped her feet into Amos’s big boots, then clunked her way down the porch steps, shining the flashlight in front of her.

  “Jacob!” she said in a loud whisper. “Lucky for you that you didn’t break a window. What are you doing?”

  “Sorry. This is positioned in exactly the right spot based on the coordinates I have, and I wanted you to come see.”

  “So, you couldn’t have come in the house and gotten me?”

  He rubbed his hands together, grinning. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

  “Upstairs tucked in bed about to go to sleep.” She was relieved that he was acting like nothing happened, so she had to assume that he hadn’t overheard anything.

  “Look.” He pointed up, then eased his eye away from the small hole he was looking through. “You can see Mars and Saturn.”

  Charlotte had always wanted a telescope, even as a kid. She squeezed one eye shut and peered through the hole, then stood and looked at Jacob. “I see sky. Darkness. That’s it.”

  Jacob gently pushed her to the side. “This thing is so sensitive. If you even barely touch it with your face, it moves.” He adjusted some dials on the side while Charlotte waited.

  “There.” He backed away and pointed to the telescope. “Look again, but don’t touch it, even with an eyelash.”

  Charlotte grinned and handed him her flashlight this time. There was a small amount of light coming from a propane lamp in the yard, but otherwise, it was a clear night sky filled with stars. She got as close as she could, careful not to touch the eyepiece.

  “Do you see them? They’re both to the right of Antares, which is a star, it’s red.”

  Charlotte kept looking through the hole. “I know what Antares is.” She let out a small gasp. “I see them, both of them.” She stared in amazement for a few more seconds before she stood straight. “Wow, that is pretty cool.”

  Jacob smiled. “I thought you’d like to see that. You’re the only one in the family who would appreciate it.”

  Charlotte felt a warm glow flow through her. I am part of this family. “Thank you for showing me. It was worth the trip out of bed. Can I look again?” She heard her voice crack slightly and hoped Jacob didn’t notice.

  “Ya, sure.”

  He didn’t seem to, so Charlotte took another look.

  “There was only one other person around here who cared anything about astronomy, and it was Ethan, Hannah’s boyfriend.”

  Charlotte visibly bumped the telescope. “Oops. Sorry.” She stood up and stepped away, almost falling down as she tripped in Amos’s big boots.

  Jacob adjusted the dials, then announced that he had the planets in focus again. Charlotte appreciated the viewing, but twice was enough. “Were you close to Ethan?”

  Jacob had wet hair from his shower and was dressed in black swe
atpants and a white T-shirt. Except for his cropped bangs, he looked like any other teenager. He rubbed his nose, sighed, and said, “Ya, in the beginning. But not toward the end. It turned out he wasn’t a very gut guy.”

  “Oh? Why do you say that? Your mother seems to have loved him as much as Hannah.” This must have something to do with Edna Glick.

  “That’s because they didn’t know him, not the real Ethan.”

  Charlotte’s heart was racing. “Why do you say that?” she asked again.

  Jacob shrugged. “What does it matter? You didn’t even know him.” Jacob pulled the lens from the telescope and put it in a bag that was hanging from one side. “We’ll be able to see Venus in October, if you’re still here.”

  Charlotte didn’t care about the planetary movements at the moment. “Now, you’ve got my curiosity up about Ethan. Hannah doesn’t seem like she’d fall in love with someone, and plan to marry him, if he wasn’t a good—gut—guy.”

  “I didn’t find out about him until right before he died. I would have told Hannah what I thought, but after he passed, I just didn’t see the good in saying anything. It would have only hurt her more than she was already hurting.” He paused, and even in the dim light, Charlotte could see him scowling. “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”

  “Tell her what? I don’t know anything. I’m just . . . uh, guessing—he must have cheated on her.”

  Jacob didn’t respond but started to roll the telescope through the grass and toward the porch. “Only reason I called you out here is because I can’t get this thing up the stairs by myself.” He snickered as they got to the steps.

  “That’s probably true.” She lifted one side while Jacob picked up the other side, and they carried it up the four steps.

  “Try not to let the door slam on the way back in, like you did on the way out. I’m sure you woke up Mamm and Daed.”

  Charlotte thought for a few moments, knowing she needed some insurance. “I guess I wouldn’t be very good at sneaking out of the house late at night.”