by J. R. Gray
Phillip liked the attention. It was undeniable as his face glowed. I was perfect arm candy, and he only gained more support from those who were fiercely red. He lowered our joined hands and kissed mine again. There were so many sides to him. It was impossible to know which I was getting, which was real and which was for show.
Jacob kicked his booted feet up on the silk seat next to me and slumped back. The ride was a blur, and soon I was standing behind the veil of the Baron’s box in the coliseum listening to him start the winter games. We would see everything from competition of sport competed in by the wealthy merchants from all over the galaxy to slave fights because the Baron had a taste for blood.
The solid metal and stone structure extended out over where the lessers sat, giving our house a front and center view of the action in the arena. The Baron was long winded, but I stood straight backed waiting for him to give the word.
“Ready?” Phillip asked.
I nodded not trusting my voice. My comm sat in my pocket, and I’d checked it three times in since arriving. He wasn’t replying. He was probably watching me on some giant screen in one of the squares.
“I give you my children and the prosperity of your great House of Akillie,” The Baron’s voice was magnified from the din of the crowd.
Jacob and I joined hands and walked out to stand next to the Baron like ceremonial trophies. Phillip would stay in the shadows until the time was right.
“I know there has been much debate on who my heir shall be,” the Baron began the beginning of the end.
“Not for anyone who lived on Trenton,” I muttered.
Jacob’s lips twitched into a grin.
“But after much conference and close inspection of my twins over the years I am proud to announce Jocelynn as the rightful heir to the House of Akillie, both by birth and decree,” the Baron said, and his words echoed out over the silent arena. “Supported by the Imperial house.” He lifted an arm, and Phillip stepped into view next to him. “Blessed by his highness the High Chancellor to the courts.” He used Phillip’s official title.
The crowd went wild. If word had not spread from those around the winter palace to the arena, they knew now. There was no delay. He’d announced it, and it would be done. The region would be secure with or without the news of the attacks spreading among the people.
“I bind Jocelynn with bands of Akillie. She will wear them for life, as I have, like shackles binding her in servitude to the people we govern, in accordance with the Emperor.”
He took the first of the ceremonial bands and held it over the fire pit. I stepped forward and extended first my left wrist letting him clasp the cool metal there. It quickly heated in fire sealing itself into an unbreakable ring. Next my right wrist was done, and then Phillip stepped forward to stand next to me. A slave stripped him of his jacket and helped him roll up one sleeve.
Phillip pulled the knife from his belt, holding my gaze, and slit his wrist. He held the blade out to me as he said, “By Imperial blood, she is bound into servitude of her people and the royal house.”
I slit my own wrist and let my blood fall into the fire to burn with his. The metal around my arms had been forged in a dying sun and exported for only this purpose. It started to glow red. It wouldn’t become hot for hundreds of thousands of degrees, but my skin prickled and started to burn from the proximity to the flame. I turned the knife and handed it back to Phillip hilt first.
He took it and wiped the remnants of my blood on his shirt. It would be burned after the night was through. Royal blood was as dangerous as it was precious and could not be risked falling into the wrong hands. But he’d already spilled blood for me. This was a reminder of it.
Instead of resheathing the knife, he brought the tip to his tongue and flicked it over the last drop lingering there. A collective gasp radiated around us as he replaced the blade.
It was over all too quickly, and I was sitting in a seat next to him as the games blurred before my eyes. Madden would see us smiling and holding hands on every vid today. We had to be matching as well. I’m sure it was a well-planned publicity stunt. Either by my father or Phillip himself. All I could think about was Madden watching. How Phillip had shoved the knife through his chest with each small gesture. I wanted to take away all Madden’s pain, but he wouldn’t answer me. I’d pushed him away, and I’m sure he thought I wanted Phillip now.
Chapter Forty
Madden
“Those can’t be the last words we say to each other, Jocelynn, they can’t be.” I said the words as much to myself as I did to her, knowing she was thousands of light years away, while I was standing back in my shop. I hadn’t heard a word from her, and I’d sent more than a few messages. I didn’t know if she was ignoring me or couldn’t contact me. My chest heaved as I drew in ragged breaths. Tightness gripped my throat, and I sank to my knees realizing I had no way to say the words to her. No word and then this? I had to clear my head. I didn’t know what to think about it all. If she followed through with this, I had no means to contact her. She took it all, yanked it away, but yet I wasn’t mad at her.
I was a wound, and she was trying to heal herself.
If she didn’t forget about me it would never close. But I couldn’t. There was no way I could forget about her. I blew my hair out of my face and rested my hands on my work bench. My mind struggled to find a solution for the problem.
“Fuck.” I picked up a wrench and threw it as the wall. It hit the stone block, and dust exploded behind it as the metal shattered part of the stone, coating my floor.
My anger was becoming impossible to control. I drew in a shaky breath. What could I do? There was no rescuing her from her castle. I was an engineer on a mining world. What she had seen in me in the first place I would never know. I didn’t deserve her, and maybe she’d come to realize it. The thought was like a knife between my ribs. I’d been there with her. I refused to believe she didn’t feel as I do.
The door to my room banged open, and I glanced over my shoulder to see Colton standing there with a bandana over his face. He hadn’t knocked, and he didn’t wait for an invitation. I knew what he wanted when I spotted the helmet under one arm. I dropped my gaze back to my bench, gripping the edge of the reader harder than was good for it to disguise the shake in my hand. I had six open books lying across it, and none of them held my attention.
“Madden!”
I blinked a few times and looked over at him. “What?”
After the night of fitful sleep with her arms around me in the matrix I hadn’t slept another night. The sleep deprivation weighed on me. My eyes flickered up to the screen.
“You seem distracted. You have something invested in this?” He gestured at the vids which had been covering the games.
It was stupid of me to be watching it out in the open like I was. It was out of character, and I could see it in Colton’s face.
“Just fucked that so much press is spent on this crap.” I laughed it off and tried to focus on one of the books I was working on. Why did this of all days have to be a light day?
I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t look back at him.
“It is … but it never bothered you before,” he pressed.
I swallowed hard and turned to meet his gaze. “I, errr.” I screwed up my face. I was a terrible liar.
“There is something you’re keeping from me. All your sneaking off and how busy and distant you’ve been.” He took a step toward me.
I glanced around the junk facility. The others were packing our gear up for the exploration trip. One I wasn’t going on because I hadn’t trained on the type of jump they were doing.
“I shouldn’t tell you,” I hedged.
“We were like brothers before you went there, and you come back and you’re distant and haunted. What the fuck happened to you?” His voice got louder as he spoke.
I owed him everything, the job as I would never get my former one back, my life, more than once, and the distraction I needed after I
got back. I would be on the street by now if it wasn’t for the job. Hell, he’d even cleaned up my bike and kept her in shape.
I sighed, gesturing for him to get closer.
“It can’t be that big a deal…” he said, but he moved closer, humoring me. “Not like you were fuckin’ her.” He thumbed at the screen.
My face gave it all away.
He staggered back gasping, eyes wide like he’d seen the spirit of his dead wife. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I put my face in my hands almost laughing. “I’m not.” I had never really thought anyone would believe me.
“She was slumming it?”
I shrugged one shoulder. Jocelynn would never say it, and when I was with her I believed her, but those hours between the darkness crept in and parts of me thought I had been a rebellious streak.
“That’s why you got sent home?”
I glanced up at him. “Yeah.”
“Shit.” He looked back up at her on the screen. I took a breath, hating Colton a little for bringing her up. I shook my head, trying to appear calm. He side-eyed me but didn’t say anything.
“It’s nothing. It’s over. I haven’t heard from her.”
Colton arched one brow. “There is something you’re still not telling me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, and his eyes flickered back to the vids going a little wide.
I cairned my neck to find Phillip ushering her into her new title. I groaned inwardly.
“Come on let’s go,” I said, having the sudden urge to get trained on blind jumps.
“Go?” Colton stared at me. “We haven’t trained you for the dark jumps.”
I gave Jocelynn once more glance, seeing Phillip cupping her face. He paused for a minute and then kissed her.
I screamed inside. I begged her to push him off. But she did nothing. She set her hands over his on her face like she had done with me so many times and kissed him back.
It was now clear what she’d been doing in the week on the star cruiser with him.
It was like a charge to the heart. I’d lived on ten different worlds, and lived through hell, but I would live through it a hundred times over to never have to see another man kiss her.
“I don’t give a shit.” I grabbed my gear bag and hoisted it over my shoulder.
“No one is worth this. Come on, Mad.” He grabbed my arm, and I spun on him throwing a fist. He blocked it and grabbed me by the shirt. “Madden, I swear to fuck.”
“If I stay here I won’t be able to take my eyes off that.” I pointed at the screen behind his head. “Take me with you. Then take me to see the Reds.” When he opened his mouth, I cut him off. “Don’t. I’ve been told you’re a part of them.”
He knit his brow. “I’ve been trying to get you to a meeting for years and this does it?”
“Well I went while I was there. They’ve already helped me some. I know they were there last night. I want off this planet.” I swallowed hard after I said the last word. If I left the planet I wouldn’t have reliable access to the nets, which meant no more Jocelynn.
“Are you sure? This isn’t something you can take lightly, or back for that matter.” Colton’s usual calm demeanor had turned harsh.
“I’m already in. Now, I just want off world. They won’t complain. Make it happen.” I shoved out of his grasp and walked toward the crew. I didn’t have time to mess with their internal politics. They’d come to collect sooner or later, and I was ready for sooner.
“I don’t have as much clout as you think I do.”
“Bullshit.” I looked over my shoulder. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?”
He stared me down, but I turned my back once again. “Well even if she is the catalyst I won’t complain. Let’s go.”
We loaded the gear into the lift doubt checking that we had everything for a blind jump. We were going to explore a deep vein of Ore that ran off from the bottom of the pit, and was believed to run straight to the core. One side of the vein had been opened up with electron drilling, and the next step was to send a crew in to stabilize the tunnel so the mining crews could get in there.
We loaded in the large temp expanders we would set as we went. All the base structure had to be marked out, and the supports had to be installed and tested. Colton, who usually worked beside us for all the heavy lifting, was missing. He’d ducked off with some excuse of needing to talk to a captain. I wiped the sweat from my brow and stepped out to look up toward the sliver of visible light at the top of the cavern. We were already miles underground, and we were going further. Suddenly the memory of being buried alive in a box had new meaning. I swallowed past the fear and turned to find Colton already rigged up checking over the gear.
“Going to be a long one. I’m thinking three days for the initial at least,” he said when he caught my gaze.
“Good.” I waited for him to say another word.
“You are a royal pain in my arse, and if you get yourself killed I’m going to celebrate,” he said when I looked back up. The job description had the same appeal to most as climbing down an unstable crater in the dark with risk of cave in at any moment. Colton loved it, but he had a hard time keeping people. His losses were less than a team member a year, which was the best of the scouts, but it wasn’t a job most sane people volunteered for.
“You and me both.” I growled.
He stepped into the lift. “One day I’m going to kill you myself.”
I followed him with a swagger in my step. “I look forward to it.”
“You better stay by my side—”
He was cut off by a deep rumbling in the ground. Colton’s eyes flashed around, and then he started shoving people out of the lift. “Get the fuck out,” he screamed.
The floor started to pitch and roll. The lift shook violently, and the inhabitants descended into chaos, clawing over one another to escape. I was near the front and my feet found solid ground, but I fell to my knees as it rolled under me like the sea. I searched the bodies pouring from the lift looking for Colton. He was in the back helping the last of his crew, who was trapped under one of the beams. I staggered through the crowd, trying to get close enough to help.
An eerie groan cut through the yells. The supports to the lift were strained to the breaking point.
“Colton,” I yelled, but my voice didn’t cut through the noise. I started shoving men out of way as he threw the smallest of his team from the lift. It dropped a meter and tilted to one side as he tried to climb out. I dove forward reaching out for him as it groaned again. I braced one hand on the wall gripping his with the other to pull him out of the lift. We fell back to safety hearing another boom, deep in the center of the planet.
The aftershocks lasted a few minutes, and then the mine went deadly silent. Colton and I stared at each other. In another twenty minutes we would have been down there. I pushed to my feet and helped Colton up.
“Central command?” I asked wiping blood from my mouth. I was too filled with adrenaline to feel it, but I knew later I would be hurting.
He looked around at his crew. “We need to make ourselves scarce.” He grabbed me by the sleeve and pushed me toward one of the empty supply closet.
I staggered back, gripping his arms to steady myself. “What the hell?”
“I don’t want to be stuck cleaning this mess up for the next two days, and it’s better if you disappear. No one will ask questions, they’ll assume.”
I sucked in a breath. He was right. “You serious?”
“If you want to get off planet, there is a chance.”
Chapter Forty-One
Jocelynn
The world moved around me. I sat in the center of my balcony staring at the tiny greenish silver blip in the night sky. He was there. I felt like we were close, but impossibly far. My dress pooled around and I knew it would be ruined as the rain started to fall, but I couldn’t move. I was in pieces on the ground.
I beat my fists into the ground until they were bloody. I was so angry, and I
couldn’t hold it in anymore. I couldn’t keep this stupid composure. I had to let out some of what I had bottled up inside.
“He’s not real,” I screamed. “He’s not real.” I gritted my teeth hugging my knees. I didn’t believe in true love. I didn’t believe in soul mates. One person couldn’t change that. I’d been resigned my whole life to marry who I was told. Akillie House honor. I was delusional if I thought this could have been more. I had duty and responsibility, and here I was like a stupid little girl upset over a boy not returning my messages. One who now only existed in a world I created in our minds. We could be anyone there. Nothing was real. I clawed my nails over my ruined make up.
He was right. The longer we let this go on the more pain it would cause us in the end. Why was it so easy for him to walk away? Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe he was in the same state I was. I thought I knew him inside and out. I was shattered. I knew he would be, too. This was the worst time to doubt him. I picked up my comm and typed out a third and final message. I wouldn’t embarrass myself further.
J: I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
When had I become so pathetic? I didn’t send it. Vulnerable wasn’t me.
A shadow moved over me, and I looked back over my shoulder to find Jacob standing there. I looked up at him, not trying to hide my bloody hands. No shame.
“Madden?” he asked.
I nodded. “You don’t have to remind me. I’m an idiot. But even with all the pain it’s caused me, I still wouldn’t take back the time we’ve had. I would suffer ten times over for another day with him.”
He looked down on the damp dress then shrugged as he walked over the billowing fabric to take a seat next to me. “Come inside.”
I reached up to unpin my hair, letting it fall in tendrils down my back.
“I thought you ended things?” Jacob trailed his fingers down my back.
“And to think, I don’t do regrets. I was hasty. I can’t—” My throat went dry.