Starting Over (Treading Water Trilogy)

by Force, Marie

He left her standing in the kitchen and let himself out the front door. On the short drive home, he realized with dismay that he now understood what’d been missing with his ex-fiancée Nicole.

  She wasn’t Meredith.

  Chapter 16, Day 35

  Brandon resisted the temptation to run upstairs the minute he arrived at the apartment building. He unpacked, showered, and shaved. When he splashed on a bit of cologne, he told himself he was being an idiot for primping for a five-year-old.

  Grabbing the bag he’d dropped on the sofa, he headed out the door and up the stairs. Reaching the third floor, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

  Daphne seemed surprised to see him when she answered the door. “Hey,” she said. “Come in.”

  “How was your weekend?”

  “Fine. Nothing special. Mike’s in the tub.”

  “I was going to ask if I could take her out for ice cream or something.”

  Daphne’s eyes widened. “By yourself?”

  “Of course not. You’re invited, too.”

  Daphne bit her fingernail as she thought it over. “Well, she has school tomorrow, and she’s already in the tub.”

  “Maybe another time.”

  “Have a seat.” Daphne gestured to the sofa. “I’ll go get her.”

  Brandon sat to wait and used the time to finally study the framed photos of Mike that sat on the end table. Next to a picture of her blowing bubbles as a toddler was one of Daphne, baby Mike, and a sandy-haired man who Brandon assumed was Mike’s father.

  She came flying into the room in a pink flannel nightgown, her blonde ringlets still wet from her bath. “You came,” she said, breathless with excitement.

  Touched by how pleased she was to see him, Brandon grinned. “I told you I would.”

  She placed a tiny hand on each side of his face. “Thank you for not forgetting.”

  He held out his arms to her, and when she came to him as if she’d been doing it all her life, he fell flat on his face in love. He closed his eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of baby shampoo. When he opened his eyes, he found Daphne leaning against the doorframe, watching them with a mixture of fear and suspicion in her eyes.

  “Hey.” Brandon lifted Mike onto his lap. “I brought you something.”

  Her smile lit up her face. “You did?”

  He handed her the bag.

  She squealed with delight when she pulled a teddy bear from the bag. He was light brown and wore a green sweater that said VERMONT in white block letters. “Oh, I love him,” she said, kissing Brandon’s cheek. “Thank you.”

  Her pleasure at such a small gift tugged at his heart. “What will you name him?”

  “Brandon,” she said without hesitation. “Brandon the Bear.”

  “That’s a very good name.”

  Mike giggled. “You smell good.”

  “You think so?”

  “Uh-huh.” She rested her head on his shoulder as she cuddled the bear.

  He felt his shirt grow damp under her wet hair, but he didn’t move her.

  “Mike, it’s time for bed,” Daphne said.

  “Not yet, Mom. Brandon just got here.”

  “If you want a story, it’s now or never.”

  Mike turned to Brandon. “Will you read to me?”

  “Sure, if it’s okay with your mom. Go get a book.”

  She grabbed the bear and took off for her room.

  “It was nice of you to bring her something,” Daphne said almost grudgingly.

  He shrugged. “It was nothing.”

  “Not to her.”

  Mike returned with a book about zoo animals plotting their escape and reclaimed her place on his lap.

  Brandon surprised himself when he managed to create a different voice for each animal, which thrilled Mike.

  “All right, Mike,” Daphne said. “Say good-night.”

  “Can I come see you tomorrow?” Mike asked Brandon.

  “I’ll be doing some painting in my apartment. Why don’t you come help me when you get home from school?”

  “Can I really?”

  “Sure you can. Just wear something old.”

  Mike hugged him again and whispered in his ear, “I love you.” She kissed his cheek and was gone before he could respond.

  “I’ll be right back,” Daphne said as she followed her daughter.

  Brandon sat back against the sofa and released a contented sigh. He remembered Alan saying there was nothing like loving someone and having that love returned. Finally, he understood exactly what his friend had meant.

  Daphne came back a few minutes later. “Do you want something to drink? Some wine or a beer?”

  Brandon swallowed hard. “Um, no, I’m good. Thanks.”

  “Do you mind if I have a glass of wine? It’s my reward for getting through the day.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Thank you for being so nice to her. She can be a bit much sometimes, but you’re very patient with her.”

  “She’s a great kid.”

  Daphne brought her glass of wine with her when she sat down next to him. “She always has been. Ever since she was a baby, she’s just had this way of connecting with people that I’ve never had. She gets that from her father.”

  “Can I ask you something that’s none of my business?”

  Daphne’s glance was wary. “I guess so.”

  “Where is he? Her father?”

  “He died five years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry for Mike that she never knew him.”

  “What happened to him?” Brandon worried that he was pushing his luck. He kept waiting for her prickly side to reemerge.

  “He had a lot of problems.” She gazed into her wineglass as she remembered back in time. “It was almost like the simple act of living was too much for him.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Randy came from a powerful family. They were big into politics, and he hated the way they were forced to live in the public eye. He was a gifted artist, but that wasn’t good enough for them. He could never live up to their expectations.”

  “I’m almost afraid to ask…”

  “I found him in the garage with the car running. They said he’d been dead for an hour. Mike was just a year old then.”

  “Jesus, Daphne. I’m so sorry.” He reached out to her and was almost startled when her fingers curled around his.

  “It was horrible. I knew he was depressed, but I had no idea he was that despondent.”

  “He was probably afraid to let it show to anyone, even you,” Brandon said, speaking with some authority on keeping secrets.

  She shrugged. “Maybe. Anyway, Mike and I have been a team ever since, and we’re doing just fine.”

  “You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Do you have any help? Any family nearby?”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s just us.”

  Brandon couldn’t imagine being so alone in the world and felt his heart go out to Daphne, too. These two were getting him all twisted up inside, but for some reason, he didn’t mind. It felt good to care about someone other than himself for a change. He rested his head against the back of the sofa. “You don’t have to be all alone, you know.”

  Daphne glanced down at their joined hands. “Why are you?”

  He hesitated for a second before he decided to be honest with her. “Because for most of my life I was in love with a woman I couldn’t have, and I made a lot of bad choices as a result.”

  “That’s as good a reason as any, I suppose. Are you still in love with her?”

  “She died ten years ago.”

  “I guess we have more in common than I thought.”

  “I didn’t have a child with her. In fact, I never had anything with her, so it’s not the same as what happened to you.”

  “It’s still a loss.”

  “What did you mean the other day when you said you might be leav
ing soon?”

  “We move around a lot.”

  “Why?”

  The door slammed shut as she extricated her hand from his. “It’s getting late.”

  Brandon stood up, regretting that he’d pushed her one step too far. “Send Mike down to paint when she gets home tomorrow.”

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  “I don’t mind. I’m right downstairs if you ever need anything.”

  “Thank you,” Daphne said, but the warmth he’d seen in her earlier was gone.

  “Good-night.” Brandon went back downstairs with the odd feeling that he’d once again lost something he’d never really had.

  Chapter 17, Day 70

  Over the next month, Brandon’s days fell into a manageable routine. He began each morning with a long run and an AA meeting in Harwich, followed by coffee with Joe. Then it was back to the apartment building, where he worked until exhaustion forced him into bed. He’d finished his apartment and one other and was now hard at work on Mrs. Oczkowski’s place.

  When he helped move her essentials into his apartment so he could work on hers, Mrs. Oczkowski urged him to “do it well, and do it fast.” She was what his mother would call a hot ticket.

  Mike came to find him the minute she got home from morning kindergarten every day. Brandon usually had something to keep her busy for a couple of hours, and he marveled at her ability to fill that much time with nonstop chatter. She never, ever ran out of things she needed to tell him. He knew about all her friends at school, every detail of the morning kindergarten routine, and most of the tenants’ personal business.

  Brandon checked his watch. Mike would be home any minute, and she’d be more excited than usual today since they were finally going to his sister’s house so she could play with Erin’s kids. He was aware that Daphne had major reservations about letting him take Mike out by himself, but she’d reluctantly agreed to it when Mike wore her down with her relentless begging.

  From Mrs. Oczkowski’s second-floor window, he saw Daphne’s red SUV pull into the parking area. He grinned when Mike shot out of the car on her way to the porch. Daphne called her back, and with great protest, Mike turned around to get her backpack.

  Brandon went out to the hallway to watch for her.

  She came flying up the stairs and shrieked when she saw him.

  He scooped her up with one arm. “What’s the hurry, squirt?”

  Her annoyed expression was so sophisticated she might’ve been thirty instead of five going on thirty. “You know,” she said with exasperation.

  “What? Is today something special?”

  She punched his shoulder. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes,” she said, squirming out of his arms as Daphne caught up to them.

  “I hope you know what you’re getting into,” Daphne said when Mike had gone upstairs.

  While his friendship with Mike continued to flourish, Daphne had been friendly but cool to Brandon in the weeks since they’d talked about Mike’s father.

  “It’ll be fine. She’ll have a good time with the kids, and I’ll bring her back tired.”

  “For that, I shall be eternally grateful.”

  Brandon chuckled. “How grateful?”

  Her saucy smile almost stopped his heart. “Very.”

  “Really,” he stammered. “Well, uh…”

  She laughed at his befuddled expression. “Smooth. Very smooth.”

  “I used to be. Until I met you.”

  “Sure, blame me.”

  It was her turn to be speechless when he twisted a lock of her blonde hair around his finger. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “You make me into a tongue-tied fool.”

  She reached for his hand. “Brandon…”

  “I’m ready,” Mike yelled as she came bounding down the stairs.

  Daphne dropped his hand, and the moment was lost. “Be careful with my baby,” she said softly so Mike wouldn’t hear her.

  “She’s safe with me. You both are.”

  Daphne squatted down to zip Mike’s coat. “Brandon’s in charge. You mind him, do you hear me?”

  “Yes, Mom.”

  “And be good at his sister’s house. No getting wild.”

  “Okay.” Mike patted her mother’s cheek. “Don’t worry. Brandon will take good care of me.”

  Her utter faith in him made Brandon want to weep. He just hoped he could be worthy of it for as long as she was in his life. It was nearly enough on its own to keep him sober.

  “Come on, squirt.” Brandon held out a hand to her. “Let’s go.” To Daphne, he added, “You have my cell number if you need to reach us, right?” He’d given the number to all the tenants.

  She nodded.

  Brandon ran a finger over her soft cheek. “Don’t worry.”

  “I won’t.”

  Brandon’s smile told her he didn’t believe her.

  “Grab her booster seat out of my car,” Daphne called as Brandon and Mike went down the stairs together.

  He waved to let her know he’d heard her.

  “Whew,” Mike said when they were outside. “I didn’t think she was going to let us go.”

  “It’s hard for her. She doesn’t know me that well, and she’s letting me drive away with the most precious thing in her world.”

  Mike’s eyes were wise beyond her years when she looked up at him. “I’m all she has.”

  “That’s why it’s so hard for her to let you go.” He buckled her into the booster in the front seat of his company truck and reached under the dashboard to turn off the passenger-side airbag.

  “But we can trust you.”

  Curious, Brandon studied her. “How do you know that?”

  “Because I know you.” She put her hand over his heart. “I know you in here.”

  Staggered by her, Brandon was rendered momentarily speechless. He reached up to retrieve her hand from his chest and squeezed it before he closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. If he hadn’t already been head-over-heels in love with her, he would be now.

  On the short ride to Erin’s house, she asked him to tell her again about his nieces and nephews. He’d answered this question a hundred times in the last week, but he indulged her. “I already told you, and you know it by heart, so you can’t fool me. Josh is eight, Nina is seven, Cecelia is six, Ben is five, and Amanda is four.”

  “Do you think they’ll like me?” she asked in a small voice.

  Surprised by her unusual lack of confidence, he reached for her hand. “Of course, they will. I told you, they can’t wait to meet you.”

  She nodded but kept a firm grip on his hand until they arrived at Erin’s big Victorian house. Mike gasped. “That’s where they live? It’s like a princess castle!”

  Seeing the house through her eyes was like seeing it for the first time. “I guess it is.”

  Erin waited for them at the front door with Amanda in her arms. “Hey, come on in.” She swung open the storm door and put Amanda down in one smooth move.

  Brandon never got over how easy his sister made motherhood look.

  “You must be Mike,” Erin said, reaching out to shake Mike’s hand.

  “Yes, ma’am. Are you Brandon’s sister? You don’t look like him.”

  Erin laughed. “I’m his sister, all right, but he looks like our dad, and I look like our mom.”

  “You have pretty hair.”

  “Thank you, so do you. This is Amanda.”

  Brandon squatted down to Amanda’s level and held out a finger to her.

  She wrapped her pudgy fingers around his and squeezed.

  “Can Uncle Brandon have a smooch?” he asked, making a pathetic face that made both girls giggle.

  Amanda studied him for a long moment, during which Brandon prayed the child wouldn’t run away in fear of him.

  Mike broke the tension when she kissed his cheek.

  Not wanting to be left out, Amanda kissed the other side of his face.

  “Thank you, ladies,” Bran
don said, touched by what Mike had done for him. He was amazed at her ability to understand things that should’ve been far beyond her.