The One I Need

by Alivia Grayson

  “And had he?” Her voice is soft. She's feeling Hammer's pain right now.

  “No. These pricks just wanted to make a name for themselves. By taking Cade's girl, they did that. She didn't deserve to die. She was a beautiful soul, loved by everyone around her. Everyone is suffering because of this, no one more than Cade. If we could find the cunt who did this to her, we'd end him ourselves. But he's gone without a trace.”

  “There's always a trace... What's your name?”

  “Will.” Fucking Will? Where did that come from?

  Oh well, whatever. It doesn't matter now.

  “No one disappears completely. Not to those who know how to search and find. Believe me, The Exorcist will find this man. Can you tell me how exactly he killed her?”

  Hammer lifts his head and takes a deep breath. “He slit her throat live on camera so that I could see the woman I loved more than life itself die. I saw the fear in her eyes, mine were locked with hers through that camera. I watched the light go out of them. All I've wondered since the day she was taken from me is whether or not she believed I was searching for her. If she thought I'd just left her to their mercy.

  “She was my world and I would have taken her place in a heartbeat. I searched from the moment I knew she was missing to the moment she died in front of my eyes. I just couldn't find her. Nothing we did to track the cunts who took her led us to finding her. We only got her body back because they dropped her off in the middle of the town we live in. They had no respect for her at all. They literally threw her body out of their truck and drove away. My beautiful girl...” Never heard this man sob before, but he does right now.

  The little girl who still hasn't given us her name? She walks closer and wraps her arms around his neck. My eyes narrow, no one but Willow touches this man, he won't allow it. But this woman? He wraps his arms around her and holds her to him as he cries.

  I'm fucking stumped.

  I also know I will never tell another living soul about this. First off, Hammer would kill me. He'd literally hammer me into the ground. His name ain't Hammer for nothing. Secondly, the man just lost the woman he loves. We might be bikers but we can grieve just as hard as anyone else.

  “I know how much this hurts right now,” She tells him while stroking the back of his head, her fingers in his long hair. “I can see and hear just how much you loved her. I know how much pain you're in right now because I can feel it. I'm so sorry you lost her, she sounded like a wonderful woman. And I promise you right now that The Exorcist will help you, I'll make sure of it.”

  I hear him mumble, “Thank you,” before she pulls away from him.

  Hammer wipes his eyes and keeps his head hanging down.

  Little girl, who I'd say can't be a day over nineteen, turns to me, “Do you have the information you were asked to bring?”

  I turn away from her, lift the lid on the box at the back of my bike, and pull out the A4 size envelope. Inside is everything The Exorcist needs to know about Cindy and what happened to her. Everything about the cunt who killed her, and a little about some of his friends, just in case.

  I hand it to her. “Thank you.”

  “How long will this take?”

  “The Exorcist, once he has the information he needs, is quick. No more than two days. No matter where this man is The Exorcist will find him within a week tops. No more than that and all this will be over, Cade, I promise.”

  “And just how is he going to find a man no one else can find?”

  She smirks at me, which tells me everything. It's none of my business. “You were told how much this will cost you?” Hammer nods his head and slips the smaller envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket and hands it to her.

  I place my hand over his before she has the chance to take it from him. “How the hell do we even know this is real? How do we know you are who you say you are and we can trust you?”

  “You don't.” She shrugs. “The only thing you have is my word. Believe me, that's all you need. As soon as the job is done you'll get proof. Trust me, this prick is going to get what he deserves and so much more.”

  What else can I do but trust her? Hammer has already pulled his hand away from mine and given her the money. She opens the envelope just enough to look inside. Once she's satisfied, she slips it into her inside pocket. “Take care of yourselves, Cade and Will.” She smirks. She knows those aren't our names and I doubt she cares what is.

  “Will you be safe?”

  She smiles at Hammer. He always was a sucker for making sure women were safe. “I'll be just fine. Go home to your families. Never forget your girl but don't live in the past either. Remember, she wouldn't want you to be alone forever.” She slips her glasses onto her face and walks away.

  Hammer and I watch until she's no longer in sight. “You think we just made a massive mistake? That girl could have been anyone, someone who just walked off with thousands and thousands of dollars.”

  “Don't worry so much, Ghost. She knew a little too much just to be some random looking to rob us. Anyway, there was something about her that had me trusting her. You know me, I trust no one but you guys.” True. “Her eyes were so kind. I felt it, Ghost, this will be over soon.”

  I slap him on the back. “In that case, let's get the fuck outta here. It's time to go home.”

  “Home.” I hear him mumble while climbing on his bike. Home to him right now is the clubhouse. Don't think he'll ever go back to the apartment he shared with Cindy. Poor bastard can't stand to be there without her.

  I couldn't deal with the pain he's in right now if it was my own.

  I couldn't handle watching the woman I loved die.

  That's why I'll never fall in love.

  I'll fuck who I want, when I want. It's safer that way.

  Even if it can be a lonely life sometimes.

  I just hope this doesn't backfire on us big time.

  I think a week here is enough. I'm too close to being found out. If Ghost knows who I am, or thinks he does, then I haven't been as smart as I thought I'd been. I need to make plans to leave as soon as I can. I know I can't just leave without telling my father, I've only just found him. I'd hate to just disappear on him again. I think it might just break his heart.

  It's not like Jett or Max will miss me, they haven't said two words directly to me since the day they found out who I was. My other siblings would miss me, Willow has told me enough times that she loves having me home.

  I've tried so hard with Jett, but nothing I say or do gets a reaction out of him. Even at dinner with our father, Lynette, Willow, and the kids last night, he was an asshole.

  I try not to let it get to me but it's hard. Max is just a kid, the fact he ignores me is nothing, he'll either get over it or he won't. But the fact I don't even know him means it doesn't hurt as much as it does with Jett. Little Sophie is talking to me a lot more now that she knows VJ and Willow are fine with me.

  I really like Lynette, she's everything a mother and wife should be. She told me all about how she and my dad got together. How long she's loved him. Lynette has been my father’s old lady for the past thirteen years, his wife for just as long.

  She's a little more than ten years younger than him and I see how much she loves him. But I have to wonder if he loves her the same way. After all, it's not like the men in my father’s chapter don't have many whores on the side. He might have said he doesn't cheat on her, but I have never known a biker who didn't. That's why I'd never date a biker. They're all assholes.

  But maybe my dad is as true as he says. He sure does look at her like she's everything to him. And the way he holds her makes me wonder. I've never seen such tenderness between two people before. Butch was never tender with Celia.

  My dad makes me believe that not all bikers are bad. But then I give my head a shake and remember that they're all criminals, killers, drug pushers, monsters.

  Then I think, maybe Tank could be the exception to the rule. He doesn't seem to be into drugs, yeah, he drinks, w
ho doesn't? He probably fucks around, but most men do. He's a killer, or at least, he's killed before now. Maybe not in cold blood but out of necessity.

  Okay, so dating him would be extreme. But I wouldn't mind him erasing some of the horrors stuck inside of my head. No point thinking about that though when the man can't stand to be near me.

  Is there anyone that can?

  Maybe it's a good thing. I mean my father did make it clear to everyone in his club that should they come near me, he'd end them. I wouldn't want anything to happen to Tank because of me. He's a good man, I see it in his eyes. And believe me, I'm good at weeding out the bad ones. I'm good at reading people. Hell, I've had enough practice.

  I drag myself out of my bed in this tiny apartment I'm now renting thanks to my father while I'm here. He wouldn't allow me to stay in a hotel, and I didn't think it would be a good idea to stay at his place. I didn't want to take one of the boy's rooms from them. I don't think Max would've thanked me for that.

  Anyway, the sound of knocking on the front door pulled me from my sleepy state.

  Great, that's all I need at this hour, visitors. I'm tired, I've been training for hours. I know it's not late, but fuck, do people not know it's rude to call round at this hour?

  I'm not stupid either, I know anybody could be on the other side of that door. I'm a little over cautious sometimes, but I find that's what's saved my life more than once.

  With my Glock in my hand, ready to fire if needed, I look through the spy hole.

  Assholes!

  Why are they here at this hour?

  I unlock the bolt on my door and open it to the four men standing on the other side. If I was anyone else, I'd be shitting myself right now. I mean, four Hulk-sized men in biker get up, tattoos and scars, standing on the other side of my door? Shit, it's a good job I'm used to all of this.

  “What the fuck is that?!”

  “So now you'll speak to me?” I say with a raised eyebrow while snapping the safety catch on my gun into place before sitting it in the drawer of the dresser next to my front door and closing it.

  “I asked you a question.”

  “Seriously, Jett, anybody would think you'd never seen a gun before.”

  “Of course I have.” He takes a step toward me. “Point is, what the fuck are you doing with one?”

  “What do you think I'm doing with one? Jesus, jackass.” I walk past them all and into my living room. They each follow me. “Wanna tell me why you four are in my house at this hour?” My eyes lock with Tank's for a second, before he turns away from me. Nice, now he can't even bear to look at me.

  “You remember Hammer, right?”

  How could I forget him? He seems older, though, more lines on his handsome face. I know why Ghost has brought Hammer here, he wants information on The Exorcist. But I have no idea why he's brought my brother here. I guess the VP would want in on the action.

  “Of course, I do, my father introduced us all, remember?” I counter back.

  “Don't play games with me!”

  “Why?” I laugh. “What the fuck are you going to do, macho man? You think because I'm a woman I can't hold my own against someone like you?”

  “Why you...” He makes a move toward me.

  “Don't even think about it! I'll fuckin' kill you! Believe it, brother.” My eyes widen as my brother takes a step toward Ghost.

  My brother is bigger than all of these men here, with the exception of Hammer. My brother has more power, he might be pissed that I'm here, but wouldn't let one of them hurt me. I smile inside. The boy I once idolized is still in there somewhere, still protecting me just like he used to.

  “We didn't come here for this shit.”

  “Then what did you come here for?”

  “We came for some information.” That's the first time I've heard Hammer speak since that day he gave me the information The Exorcist needed to do the job. His voice is huskier than before. Months of grief have taken their toll on him.

  I offer them all a seat and a beer before taking a seat myself, ready to hear what they have to say. “Ghost here seems to think you were the girl I met that day. The day...”

  “The day you gave over information for a job you wanted The Exorcist to carry out?” He nods slightly. “So he told me earlier. Ever thought Ghost is losing his touch?”

  “Are you her?” Hammer has eyes that would melt even the coldest heart. There's so much sadness in those brown eyes. He's a tough man, I see that, but there's such vulnerability there also.

  “I thought Ghost was crazy when he mentioned it. But looking at you now, I see the kindness in your pretty eyes. The same kindness I saw in that woman's pretty eyes that day.”

  Our eyes stay locked on each other for a moment. My heart is beating fast but I'm neither scared nor nervous. I imagine that man could take down an army should he wish it, but there's something about him that makes me feel safe. Just as he did that day, the day he travelled miles to meet me, a woman in disguise, a woman he would never recognize on the streets should he see her out of it. The day he looked horrified that a woman was collecting the information. He even told me a girl like me shouldn't be doing a job like that. His concern was nice, but not welcomed, as I told him that warm day.

  “Nova,” I look to my brother, “It won't go any further than this room. Nothing you tell us will pass the four of us.” He points to each person. “Of all the people we work with, we are the ones you can trust the most with your life. I promise you.”

  He has no idea of the secrets I hide. And there's no way I could possibly tell them who I really am. There are rules I live by. Just one person knows who I really am, it's easy that way because nobody really knows who he is either. If anybody knew who I really was they'd try anything to end my life. Most would have a reason to do so. But the fact remains that my anonymity is paramount.

  But no matter what I say here, none of them will believe me. So I may as well give them what they want. Not everything, I'm not that stupid. But a little something that will sate them for now.

  “You're my sister, Nova, there's no way on earth I would ever put you in danger.”

  I know that deep in my heart. “Fine. Yes, I work for The Exorcist.”

  Each man sucks in a hissed breath.

  “Jesus Christ, Nova, you're twenty-two years old!”

  “So? Jesus, Jett. I have seen things you can only imagine. You may have killed people, but...” I stop myself. I cannot let them know the truth. My brother maybe, but not the rest of them.

  “But what?”

  “But nothing. So you got what you came for, you can leave now. But make damn sure you tell nobody what I've told you.”

  “I fuckin' told you!” Jerk. I really don't like Ghost. How dare he sit there boasting like this! “Wait till Shepard hears about this.”

  “Wait till Shepard hears that you met with his daughter to hire a contract killer without wearing your cut so your club was unidentifiable. Hiding the truth of which charter you belonged to was very wrong.” I tsk mockingly while shaking my head like a preschool teacher telling off her pupils. “Anybody would think Shepard had forbidden you from hiring someone from the outside.”

  From the look on his face, I'd say I've just hit the nail on the head.

  “There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Ghost. You have no idea of what I'm capable of. Don't go thinking for one second you can use this against me. It might just be the last thing you ever do.”

  “We don't kill or have our own killed unless...”

  “I know the rules!” I snap, cutting him off. Of course, I know the rules, how fucking stupid does this prick think I am? “I'm not one of you, jackass. My father may be the president of The Snakes Henchmen, but I was raised by the president of the Devil's Hornets!”

  I didn't see my brother get out of his seat, but I damn well felt him grab my upper arms and drag me from my seat. “What the fuck did you just say!?” He bellows in my face.

  “I'm not one of them e
ither, Jett! Those fuckers did vile things to me. Things that have taken years for me to get past. And I still haven't fully!” I feel my breath shudder in my chest. I'm angry right now. Ghost pushed me into this, I shouldn't have snapped and told them anything. I have never snapped before. I am well trained in the art of torture. Hell, I've been tortured to better teach me how to keep my damn mouth shut. So why the hell did I tell these men I worked for The Exorcist?

  Because these men are your true family, Nova. You might not know them well, but you know you're safe with them.

  I don't know how I know that, but I do.

  I also know they won't say anything to anybody. If they ever do, I'll end them and their family without so much as a backward glance. Believe me, it's so very easy for me to do.

  “Celia married Brett Collins, Butch was his road name.” Jett's eyes scan me and I can feel everyone else's eyes burning holes into me. “I told you that she killed him. After that, she left me and went on the run.”

  “She did what?” My brother’s disbelieving voice penetrates my whole body, making me shake. I hadn't wanted to tell him that Celia had walked away from me. Leaving me to try and fend off those monsters yet again, but she had, and it took me two years to find her and get the truth out of her about my father and brother. “She left you?”

  “Yes. The new President wanted her dead for what she'd done. She'd killed Butch and in their eyes, she had to pay for that. I was in the hospital and she didn't want to wait around for them to find her. It took me two years to find her. She knew then that if I could find her so could they. But she didn't know what I had become.”

  “And what had you become, little sister?” His eyes are so full of sadness for me. I can see him fighting the tears. He doesn't know what I've been through other than Celia leaving me behind to face the wrath of those men, but he hurts for me just the same.

  I can't trust these other men, I don't know them. And I don't really know my brother anymore, but he is my brother, my hero always in my heart. If I can trust anyone with my secret it's him.