The One I Need

by Alivia Grayson

  My dad laughs while wiping his eyes. I never thought I'd see my father emotional like this. Not the big bad biker he is.

  “This is your grandma.” Lynette gasps and clasps her chest dramatically. It makes me laugh inwardly. I really like her, and my brother refers to her as, “Mom” so why shouldn't she be a grandma to Ember? And Willow is legally my sister, and they've both been so kind to me since I came here. I want my little girl to know them as her grandma and her aunt.

  I introduce Ember to Willow, who cries when I introduce her as Ember's new aunt. I hope my younger siblings have the same reaction to my baby girl.

  I walk up to my brother, my little girl on my hip as she pulls at her left pigtail. She's always either pulling at her hair or biting her little fist. “This man is your uncle Jett. He's a very brave and strong man, whom mommy loves very much.”

  I feel my brother’s hand on my face. I look up at him. He's smiling at me in a way I've never seen before. I have always looked up to my big brother. I have always loved him so much, he was always my hero growing up. That hasn't changed.

  “Can I hold her?”

  “Of course.” I smile and hand Ember to him. She sticks her little pointer finger in his mouth playfully and squeals happily when he pretends to bite it. I then watch as Jett hands her to my father, who Ember seems to love instantly, laying her head on his shoulder and biting at the patch sitting there.

  Once Lynette and Willow have taken a turn holding Ember and kissing her little face like they'd die if they didn't, my baby starts grizzling, whining, and waving her little arms in Tank's direction. She always wants him when she's tired. Which amazes me.

  He smiles and takes her from Willow, kissing her little chubby cheek before she lays her head on his shoulder like always. Like that's her safe place.

  I notice my dad’s eyes narrow as he watches Tank with Ember. The way my baby lays her head on his shoulder and strokes the side of his neck with her tiny little fingers. The way Tank is stroking her back and rocking her gently from side to side. My dad is not happy.

  My dad’s eyes lock with mine and I bite my lower lip nervously. He knows. I know he does. My father is a smart man, he's worked out what's going on between Tank and me. I just know he has.

  God, please don't let my dad kick Tank's ass, or worse, shoot him dead like he swore he would if any man touched me.

  “Mamma, moo-me-ban-ba.” I chuckle to myself. That's my baby girl’s way of asking me to nurse her.

  “Come on, baby girl.” I take her from Tank's arms. “Could you please excuse me for a moment? I just need to nurse her. Tank, could you get everyone a drink?” He nods and winks at me. “Thanks. I'll be right back.”

  When I was inducted into The Snakes Henchmen MC, I made a pledge to honor and protect the club, my brothers, their old ladies, and their kids. Well, those who had them, at all costs. I have followed the rules and lived for my club since I was nineteen. I've fought, killed, and almost died for my club multiple times. I'm the man who takes charge in situations that require punishment to be doled out. My brother may be Sergeant-At-Arms, but I enforce the rules of the club. New members, old members. I am someone in this club. But looking at the Prez right now, I may well be on my way to the grave.

  I didn't want to do this right now. Now is neither the time nor place to do this. Especially when Nova told me point blank that she wanted to go slowly. But I know he's not going to let me walk out of this room until he's had his say.

  “You were warned to stay away from my daughter.” Shepard stands his full height with his arms folded across his big chest. The man might be fifty-one but he's as strong as a man half his age. He's also as dangerous as they come and not afraid to kill a man in the worst way. Even a member of our own club.

  “She's needed a friend these past few days.”

  “A friend.” He hums while scratching his cheek with his thumb. Ah hell, he's more pissed than I thought he would be.

  How pissed did you think he'd be, Tank? This is his daughter you're messing with.

  But I'm not messing with her, not at all.

  I know I was once a fuckin' dick, a man who fucked for fun whenever and wherever, but I've given it all up for Nova. I never lied about that.

  “And the fact my granddaughter clings to you as though you were her father? You don't see that as a problem?”

  No, but I can see you do.

  “What is it you want me to say, Prez? I know what you told us all about staying away, and I have tried really hard, but I can't.”

  “You're willin' to go against me, boy?! You're willin' to risk a bullet to your stupid brain over this?!”

  “Dad!” Jett steps between us, his hand on his father’s chest. I don't need Jett to stand up for me. Although I don't particularly want to square up to the Prez either. The man has never made a threat he didn't carry out. “Don't do this here. There's a baby in the damned house. An innocent child. Just because he has feelings for Nova doesn't mean she reciprocates.”

  “I didn't mean to fall in love with your daughter, Shepard.” Four sets of eyes burn holes into me. “I love her, I want to make her my old lady.”

  “Not happenin'!” Shepard takes another step towards me. Any closer he'll be within punching distance. “You think me a stupid man, Tank?”

  “Of course not.”

  “I asked one thing of you. You went against me and you know what's comin' now, don't you?” I do know. I'm gonna get a damn good beat down for this.

  “Nothing is coming.” We each turn our heads in Nova's direction. She was quick. Ember couldn't have fed much, she's only been gone ten minutes. “I understand your rules and regulations, Dad. I respect them. But you don't get to choose who you allow to love me. I have my own mind. I can choose for myself.”

  “Not one of my boys you don't. He defied a direct order and he knows...”

  “If you do anything to hurt him,” she cuts him off, “I will never forgive you. Ember and I love having him here with us.” She rubs her forehead in frustration. “I love him, Dad. I want to be his old lady.”

  I smile while puffing my chest out like some kind of lion. I fold my arms around my chest, pride filling me. This beautiful woman loves me just as I love her, and she wants to be my old lady.

  Well, fuck me.

  She walks over to me and slides her arm around my back. I unlock my arms and wrap my left around her waist, holding her close to me. Shepard's eyes widen in anger. Jett is shaking his head at me. He knows as well as I do that I'm pushing Shepard in a way I shouldn't push him. Lynette and Willow are saying nothing. Then again, they know not to get involved in Shepard's business.

  “I know you're angry, Daddy, and I am so sorry you feel that way. But Tank is a good man. He thinks so much of you. He didn't want to give into his feelings for me. Believe me, he tried to deny them because he didn't want to go against the man he feels saved his life as a child.” Shepard looks to me for a moment.

  I've never told him how thankful I am to him for what he did for me when I was a kid. I tried once but he shooed me away.

  “When Mandy brought Ember here, I was terrified, Dad. I had no idea what I would do. I thought it would be best to try and find my baby another new family. But Tank showed me that I can be her mother. If it wasn't for him helping me see what Ember really means to me, god only knows where she would be now.

  “In all the years I was without you, I was never taught what love really was. Yes, Celia said she loved me a couple times. Butch told Celia he loved her once or twice, but that's it. I never really saw love between two people, so I didn't know what that was. Then I saw how you are with Lynette, the way you tell each other how much you love each other so effortlessly and not caring who hears it. I see Willow and Jordan and how much they love each other.” Jordan is Willow's boyfriend, a prospect with the club. “I see the other guys with their women, and I don't know, I guess, I started to believe I could feel that too.

  “I was the one who initiated this whole thin
g between us. I was the one who chased after him. Tank told me more than once that nothing could ever happen between us because he wouldn't go against you. But he loves me, Dad, and I love him. I don't want you to hurt him when he's done nothing wrong.”

  “We'll talk about this back at the clubhouse,” Shepard says to me.

  I nod in his direction.

  “If you hurt him, I promise you will never see me or Ember again. I will never forgive you if you do anything to hurt my old man.” Hot Damn.

  Shepard's eyes widen, but before he can say anything, I take Nova's face in my hands. I can't have her speaking to him like this, it will only make things worse. “What will be, will be.” I kiss her forehead before walking out of there, Shepard and Jett following closely behind me.

  By the time we reach the clubhouse, I realize it isn't going to go well. The Prez is beyond pissed with me. Okay, I get why, but shit, his daughter could have done worse than a bastard like me. I'd never hurt her or that little girl. I'd lay my fuckin' life on the line for the two of them. I'd bleed the fuckin' streets red to keep them safe. Hell, the Prez has to know that!

  Shepard pushes me down into a chair in the middle of his office like I'm some fuckin' war criminal he's about to torture the shit out of. Jett and Hammer are also here. There's no point me looking to either of them right now, both VP and Chief Executioner/ Sergeant-At-Arms aren't gonna do shit to help me if it means going against Shepard.

  Hammer, my blood brother, has been part of this club for almost as long as I can remember. He knows the rules better than anyone. Blood brother or not, right now he's not going to so much as ask what I'm supposed to have done to deserve whatever the Prez is accusing me of. And he will think nothing of offing me should Shepard tell him to do so.

  Yeah, so I'm pretty much fucked right now.

  “You have ten seconds to tell me why I shouldn't let these boys rip you a new asshole, boy.” He'd let them too. Hell, my own brother would maul me like a damn bear if Shepard told him to.

  “I know I defied a direct order, but all I've done is be there for Nova. I haven't touched her.”

  Liar. You've kissed and groped her a million times.

  Not that the Prez needs to know that.

  “I am one hundred percent dedicated to this club. I have killed, bled, and almost died for this club more times than I can count. I've never questioned your ruling over the brothers. Not once. But I love her, Prez.”

  His nostrils flare, his eyes bugged out. He's about ten seconds away from punching me out.

  “Look, beat the crap outta me if that's what will make you feel better, but it won't change the fact she's mine. And I will do anything to keep her with me, to protect her and Ember. I don't give a shit who says what. I won't let anyone mess with what I have with my old lady. Not even you.”

  I swallow hard, and I do mean hard, when he slams his hands down on the arms of the chair I'm sitting in, almost tipping me the fuck back. He's a strong fucker to move a man my size. I can feel the heat of his anger burning my fucking face like molten lava.

  “You think yourself damn lucky that I trust you with my life, boy.” He hits me with a hard stare before grunting and pulling away. I breathe deeply in relief. Hey, the man might be getting on in years but he packs a punch and a half.

  I thought for a second he'd de-patch me and have the brothers rip me to shreds.

  “What you wanna do about this, Prez?” Jett's a good friend, my best friend, my brother, but he wouldn't think twice about blowing my head off if the Prez ordered him to.

  “Let me ask you this, Jett,” Shepard folds his huge arms around his even bigger chest. Never does he cover his patch. Even the one inked on his huge chest is always visible, poking out the top of whatever shirt he's wearing under his cut. The same ink each brother wears with pride. “How would you feel if Tank claimed your sister as his old lady?”

  Already claimed, Prez.

  But if he honestly told me that I couldn't claim her, that I'd lose my patch if I did, I'd choose the only family I've ever known. Snakes Henchmen MC Tennessee Charter is all I have ever known. Who the fuck would I be without them?

  But the thought of walking away from Nova, from Ember, fuck, I don't know that I could do it without taking out half the fucking city.

  “Tank is one of the best brothers in this charter, Dad. Defying your order was low, but since when was it wrong to fall in love? Nova is not a little girl anymore, Prez, and she sure as hell ain't no weak woman.” No, she is not. Working with the damn Exorcist she's got to be strong.

  “I'd rather my sister be with Tank, a man I know can protect her and Ember, than she be with some other asshole like one of those damn Devil's Hornet cunts.”

  “Huh.” The Prez huffs while scratching his stubbled chin, seemingly in thought.

  “What you wanna do, Prez? You want me to beat some sense into my little brother and make sure he stays away from your daughter?” Damn Hammer! “Or you gonna let him claim your daughter as his old lady? Cause I gotta say, she could do far worse than Tank.”

  I'm trying to suppress a smile. I should have known Hammer would stand up for me. Always does. As long as I deserve it, of course.

  “Come on, Prez, you helped me raise him after our parents were killed. You know him. He's not gonna fuck up or hurt Nova. She's a strong woman, Prez. She's more like you than you think. If he hurt her, she'd damage him in ways no one would recognize him afterward.” I believe it too. “If she loves him, trusts him not only with her heart and life but the heart and life of her daughter, then don't they deserve a chance?”

  “You've made your point, stand down, son.” Hammer nods respectfully and steps back. “My daughter means everything to me.” I open my mouth but I close it just as fast when he stares me down. I know when to hold my tongue.

  “For fifteen years I had no clue where she was or if she was even alive. Her mother wasn't just my old lady, she was my fiancée.” I didn't know that, and by the look on Jett's face, I don't think he did either. “Only made it so because Apollo kept badgering me about my kids being born to unmarried parents. Neither of us wanted to get married, think that's why we put it off for so many years. Anyway, bitch took off one afternoon when I was still VP and deep in battle with those fucked up Seething Hellhounds.”

  I remember those cunts. They killed a couple of our guys for no apparent reason. It caused out and out war between the clubs. Fuckers shouldn't have even been on our turf. This MC took out most of those assholes. I was just a kid when it happened but I remember my mama being terrified of what could happen to her sons.

  Nothing did. My dad took out four of the motherfuckers on his own. I was proud to be his son that day.

  “I came home to find her things gone. I called my momma to make sure my kids were still there. CueBall answered the phone. Tells me my momma couldn't come to the phone because she couldn't stop crying. Something had happened to Nova. Of course, I slammed the phone down before he could tell me what. I rode over there so fuckin' fast I'm surprised I didn't kill myself.” He huffs deeply, resting his ass back against the small desk on the other side of the room.

  “As soon as I got there, I knew something was very wrong. My son was sittin' on the porch in a world of his own. Turns out, Celia had walked into my mother’s house, picked up Nova, told my momma she was takin' my kids and never comin' back. She dropped her ring on the table, threw her jacket on the chair, then told my mother she'd be stampin' out her ink as soon as she could.

  “Apparently Jett wouldn't leave with her, tried to make her put Nova down as she screamed for Jett to help her. What was it she said to you, Son?”

  “Stay then. See if I care. I always knew you'd be just like him. She didn't even say goodbye to me before she walked away with my screaming sister in her arms.”

  “Fifteen years,” The Prez walks toward me again, hands in his pockets. “Fifteen, Tank. That's how long it took for my baby girl to walk back into my life. Any of those fuckers who bring war on us
could take her just because she's my daughter. If I let you do this I need your word that you'll protect her with...”

  “My life, Prez. I wear these patches with pride. Nothing will ever happen to her as long as I draw breath. That I can promise you.” He looks at me for a moment before nodding slowly.

  He grabs my hand, pulls me from my seat and bear hugs me, slapping me on the back. “You have my blessing. Don't let me down.”

  “You have my word.”

  “Best get your old lady branded.” Fuck yes I'm getting her branded, just as soon as I can. Very soon she'll be wearin' a leather with Property Of Tank written on the back so every fucker within a ten-thousand-mile radius will know she's mine.

  * * *

  She's asleep by the time I make it back to her apartment. Curled up on her couch with a crochet blanket over her legs and waist. I hadn't even realized I was smiling until I caught my reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. This beautiful woman is now my old lady. All I need is for her to tell me that's what she wants and I'll have her branded with my mark before she can even blink.

  I crouch down in front of her, strokin' the back of her dark hair gently. She stirs a little and mumbles something inaudible, making me smile again. I never thought I could feel like this about a woman.

  Before now, before her, all I cared about was my club and getting my dick wet. And believe me, I got my dick wet more often than not. Every damn night I had one whore or another in my bed, sometimes two or three at a time. And those whores knew some tricks. Fuck did they ever.

  But as I look at the sleeping beauty before me, I realize those whores were nothing in comparison. Fuck, I haven't even tasted this girl’s lips enough, but boy, am I going to taste those lips. I'm gonna taste every damn inch of this girl and I know it will never be enough.

  “Tank?” Her pretty eyes flicker open, trying to focus on my face.

  “Yes, baby, it's me.” She smiles sleepily before pulling herself up against the back of the couch. “Sorry to let myself in. I did knock but...”