Finding Ever After

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  As my scrutiny reached his face, and I was finally able to get a good look, I realized this guy wasn’t just hot, he was stunning. His jaw was slightly squared with just enough facial hair to give him a more rugged masculinity and the way he was playing with the ring in his lip did things to me that sent a blush straight to my cheeks. His dark hair fell haphazardly across his forehead, in that strategically messy way and I wanted to run my fingers through it.

  I couldn’t believe that I was having this sort of reaction to a guy, I think I was swooning, actually swooning. I hated that. My gaze dropped back to his and I could see those sharp green eyes were now lit with amusement. He was aware of the affect he had on me. I was determined to find something wrong with him, some flaw or imperfection that would restore my senses, only there wasn’t one. Then he opened his mouth.

  “Not that I mind beautiful, but I should probably know you’re name before you start getting frisky.” I stiffened. His voice was just as alluring as the rest of him.

  “That’s Sebastian’s unicorn, turns out she’s real.” Spade had a cheshire grin on his face. It seemed he too observed my blatant ogling. This caused my blush to deepen and I quickly changed my look from one of admiration to one of annoyance to cover up my embarrassment at being caught checking out the dark haired Adonis I was still draped over.

  “I’m not a unicorn, I’m a girl.” I jerked myself off his lap trying not to let them see how flustered I was. Mr. Gorgeous, raked his gaze down my body in a slow, sensual perusal. He lingered briefly on certain areas before locking his eyes on mine, pinning me in place and sending a shiver down my spine that had nothing to do with the room temp.

  “Oh I can tell Princess. You are most definitely all girl.” I’m sure I was blushing twenty shades of red at this point and it only made him grin harder.

  “My name is Jaxyn not Princess.” Why did he call me Princess?

  “Oh I know your name Princess. We’ve all been hearing it for over a year. Now I get why Sebastian was keeping you hidden. I‘d like to take you away and keep you locked up myself.”

  “Kyden.” Bas let out a warning. At least I had a name to put with his gorgeous face; such a waste of beauty though, when it came packaged with a personality like his. He and Spade were two of a kind. The other guys at the table were clearly entertained by the exchange taking place between the three of us and Red was shooting daggers at me with her eyes.

  “Hey dickheads, we’re up in fifteen, so get your asses on stage.” I knew that voice. He spotted me at the same time I turned to look at him. An impish grin spread across his face. “Well shit. If it isn’t-”

  “I swear Christian, if you use that nickname, they’re gonna need to find a new drummer tonight.”

  “I’d listen to her Chris, she’s a bad ass now, pretty much a black belt. Apparently she was training to be a ninja while she was away.” I shot Sebastian a glare, letting him know I did not find his sarcasm amusing.

  “Feisty Princess, I like it. Are you this… spirited in everything you do?” He waggled his eyebrows and I narrowed mine at him.

  “And you, my name is Jaxyn. Take your charm and sexual innuendos elsewhere.” That infuriating smirk never left his face.

  “Damn, what’s with all this hostility I’m feeling, it’s like you’re not happy to see me. Didn’t you miss me Tink?” I groaned as I heard the nickname he would never give up using.

  “Nope, not even a little bit.” He knew better, but I’d never admit it.

  “Why ‘Tink’ Princess?” I shifted my glare from Chris back to Kyden, making it clear he should drop it. My intimidation face needed some work because it was doing zilch for me tonight. He just turned to Chris.

  “Tink?”

  “Short for Tinkerbell.”

  “Don’t you dare Christian.” He better not tell them that story, it was mortifying.

  “When she was a freshman, she challenged Bas and I to a race back to our house from the high school. Girl was too cocky for her own good, and insisted she could beat us both, even though she was so much smaller and was all dressed up from being at my senior night, football banquet. First one to reach the front door won, and the girl was damn fast too. It was roughly a mile from the school to our house and she was a couple yards ahead of both of us when were coming up on the house, but we were closing on her so she decided just to hop the fence around our yard instead opening the gate. Her skirt got caught on the fence and there she was left standing in our front yard with nothing on below the waste but her cute little pink and yellow Tinkerbell panties.” He had called me Tink ever since, and I hated it. He would never let me live it down, thought it was hilarious. Apparently everyone else agreed with him because they all laughed at my relived humiliation.

  “Cute princess.” I could feel the crimson heat spreading up my neck and onto my cheeks. “Oh princess.” He leaned in close over my shoulder, until he was speaking softly in my ear, “You really gotta stop doing that. It makes me want to remove every piece of clothing you’ve got on so I can see just how far that blush spreads. I would guess all the way down.” I gasped involuntarily. He chuckled and walked off toward the stage.

  Holy hottness Batman, what was he doing to me?

  I’d never had this kind of reaction to a guy before. In fact I had very little experience with guys to speak of at all.

  Spade and Danny both got up to follow Kyden to the stage, but Spade paused in front of me.

  “I really hope you’re wearing Tinkerbell panties tonight Rainbow, so you can toss them on stage during my solo.”

  Ugh, I’m going to murder Chris in his sleep.

  “Missed you Tink, glad you’re home. Now hopefully this guy won’t be such a cranky asshole.” He gestured at his brother as he followed after his band mates.

  If I thought the bar was packed before, the closer it got to time for the band to start, the more crowded it became. They had to be at capacity. Chris took his place behind his drums. He looked at home there. Kyden and Spade both picked up guitars and Ace strapped on a bass. Kyden moved to the mic front and center. Of course he would be the lead singer.

  “Come on, let’s get closer to the stage. They’re actually really good.” Bas grabbed my hand and pushed through the crowd until we were just a few people back from the stage.

  “Kyden McCabe is so hot. What I wouldn’t do for a night in the sack with him.” One girl beside us exclaimed.

  “I know. Damien is damn sexy too. Honestly I’d do any of them, they’re all hot as hell.” Her friend responded.

  Clearly the two girls next to us were strictly here for the music. Looking around I noticed they weren’t the only lust filled groupies I saw. Every female eye in the place was riveted to the stage. Even a few guys looked in awe of the dominant masculinity up on that platform. Each band member oozed confidence and a raw sexuality that drew people to them, male and female. As much as I wished otherwise, I wasn’t immune either.

  Spade strummed his guitar leading with what sounded like a complicated riff, Chris picked up setting the beat on the drums. Ace joined and then Kyden started crooning the lyrics to their first song and they all came together. Just like that I was mesmerized. They were incredible. Kyden’s voice was low and gravelly, with just the right amount of rasp to make me shudder. He sang each note perfectly, hitting high notes that I wouldn’t have thought his voice capable of. He didn’t just work the song he owned it.

  The girls were going crazy, and I totally got it. They were a force up there, taking you to the edge and making you feel each emotion. They played a mix of covers and original songs. Every one was brilliant. Several times Kyden’s eyes met mine in the crowd, usually when he was belting out particularly sensual lyrics that set my entire body ablaze. They had to be close to the end of their set when Kyden stopped to address the room.

  “Okay guys, are you ready for a new song? Last one of the night.” Kyden’s voice rang out through the room. The crowd roared their approval. “Then get ready to Breathe. It. In.”<
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  Chris got a slow beat going on the drums that the others picked up and then Kyden came in with a raspy hum, his eyes met mine and I was completely, utterly enraptured. His soft voice wrapped around me like a caress, leaving me wanting.

  “Feel the allure, it’s only temptation

  Feel the urge, it’s pure attraction

  A passionate frenzy

  A chemical reaction

  Breathe it in

  Sating our hunger

  Just a chemical reaction

  Feeding this addiction

  A sensual combustion

  My touch like kerosene

  Fueling that flame in your eyes

  An invitation to sin

  Now you’re on your knees, begging me to please”

  Just a rising desire

  Igniting a fire

  Ecstasy taking you higher

  Consumed on a pyre

  Hot flesh on display

  Just a chemical reaction

  Filling this void

  A sensual combustion

  Pleasure ripped from your lips

  Between the sheets

  Screaming my name

  Finding release

  Your thighs shake

  It’s an addictive high

  Your hips quake

  An explosion of need

  Rapturous cries

  Your body aches

  Breathe it in deep

  Breathe it in

  Left intoxicated

  By this chemical reaction

  Seeking gratification

  In a temporary bliss

  Breathe it in”

  Throughout the entire song his dark gaze never left mine. I was held in place, even as the bar erupted into pandemonium, unnerved by the intense need pulsing within me that I had never felt before. I didn’t know what to do with it, but it wasn’t good. Finally a crooked grin spread over his face and he winked at me before acknowledging the boisterous cries of the crowd. He jumped down from the stage and was immediately swamped by a horde of females riled up from the heated performance and erotic lyrics.

  Sebastian looked at me with a knowing smirk. “Be careful Jazz.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re good, really good, but that’s all. I was just appreciating the music.” And the dangerously attractive singer.

  “It looked like you were appreciating more than just the music.”

  “He’s hot, so what.” I tried to play it down. “I’m clearly not the first girl to notice and I sure as heck won’t be the last. He knows how good looking he is and he uses it like a weapon. Trust me, you don’t need to be worried about me falling for that bad boy, player routine, you know that’s not my type.” At least it never had been before.

  “Who’s not your type Rainbow? If you say me, you’re gonna break my heart.”

  “I think you’d recover just fine. Your blonde friend from earlier is heading this way and she looks like she would be more than happy to help you forget about me.” Spade smiled mischievously as he turned to watch her sashay her way to him. He turned back and grinned at me. “I think you’re right, but I could never forget you Rainbow. So what did you think of the show?”

  “You guys aren’t bad.” Didn’t want to inflate his ego anymore than it already was.

  “Oh come on. We fucking killed it. Did you hear the chicks screaming for me, the ladies love them some Spade.” Yeah, his ego definitely wasn’t in jeopardy of returning to acceptable proportions any time soon. Enforcing his point, a curvy brunette came up to ask for an autograph only to be shouldered from behind by the blonde just as he was inking his name on her stomach with a Sharpie.

  “Beat it skank.” Blondie was clearly not into sharing.

  “Ladies, ladies, there’s plenty of Spade to go around.” I just rolled my eyes, I didn’t understand girls who lowered themselves to vying for a scrap of attention like a dog. I could never bring myself to fight over a guy, I had too much pride for that. Where had Bas disappeared to? I needed an escape?

  I felt a hot body press up against my back and a shudder racked my spine. He leaned in and whispered in that low, gravelly voice responsible for making the whole of the female population lose their minds. “So Princess did you like that song?”

  I pretended not to know what song he was referring to, and continued to look around for Bas. “Which one? They were all so similar.”

  Take that.

  He wasn’t fooled by my feigned ignorance.

  “The one that had you breathing deep and your body aching for the release I could give you. That one Princess.”

  Arrogant jerk!

  I turned to fix him with the most piercing glare I could muster, but before I could tell him what an arrogant jerk he was or call him any one of the other fifty names that came to mind, a girl came up and wrapped her arms around his waste and nuzzled into his neck.

  “Hey baby, you guys were amazing tonight.” She was beautiful; tall with long raven locks. Her tight tank top showed off her ample cleavage and tiny waste, and her short denim skirt and six inch heals revealed long tanned legs. She could’ve been a model. She was the perfect match in beauty for him, exactly how I might’ve pictured his girlfriend, and she had the attitude to match.

  “How cute, another groupie of yours Kyden?” When she looked me over I realized she was one of the girls that had been playing on stage when I got to the bar. “You can run along now, and just a bit of advice, I’d change hair stylists. I‘d recommend anyone who actually finished beauty school.” Apparently this place had an abundance of hot, talented musicians with repulsive personalities.

  “Kaylie, chill. She’s with Christian’s brother.” I still hadn’t figured out where Bas went, but he was getting a stern talking to for deserting me.

  “Oh, how lovely.” Her expression was anything but. “I thought he was dating that uppity violinist. Chris really needs to talk to his brother about his taste in women.” Seriously?

  I was not taking this. I was way past letting people talk down to me, especially those who didn’t even know me.

  “Well it was great meeting you Kylie.” Yeah, I pretended I didn’t know her name was actually Kaylie, real mature of me, but this girl ticked me off. The sneer on her face told me she knew what I was doing. “Oh and just a bit of advice, you should try shopping in the women’s department instead of the little girl’s; you might find a skirt that actually fits you.” Her eyes narrowed but Kyden’s eyebrows shot up and he choked on a laugh. She looked like she was seconds away from scratching my eyes out after that.

  “Hey Jaxyn, everyone’s heading over to our place, Sebastian asked me to come see if you want to join. He had to go call his woman.” Ace saved me from having to demonstrate eight months worth of kickboxing lessons on the harpy. The friendly smirk he was giving me, said his timing was not coincidental. He was quickly someone I could like.

  “Yeah, sure. If Bas is going, then I’m fine with it.” That was more appealing than going back to my own house and spending the night in the past. I might’ve come back home, but it didn’t mean I was completely done avoiding emotional distress. I think I had done enough confronting for now. The crack of dawn would be just as good of a time as any for a hysterical meltdown. Tonight I was going to hang out with my best friend, his brother and their completely inappropriate friends and not think about insufferable, pompous, egotistical, completely kissable lead singers.

  Chapter 3

  The house was a lot bigger and much nicer than what I was expecting. I was impressed by the lack of empty pizza boxes, stale beer cans and the usual untidiness of an all male habitation. The only obvious indication that it was in fact a giant bachelor pad was the enormous entertainment center, with a giant flat screen hooked up to every imaginable game console, and the array of guitars and music paraphernalia on display.

  All four band members shared the place along with Danny, and Ace’s younger brother Marcus, who was about as different from the rest of them a
s you could get. He was more shy, techie than rocker. Very clean cut in a cute nerdy way. Apparently he was a computer genius who just graduated from MIT at 19. He was so soft spoken and polite when I was introduced to him I didn’t see how he could possibly fit with these guys, let alone be related to two of them.

  Along with the guys who lived here, Bas and myself, roughly fifteen or so others were hanging out in various states of drunkenness, a lot of them female. I was hanging out around the makeshift bar in the kitchen with a large group including, Bas and most of the band. Kyden was the only one absent, and I kept telling myself I wasn’t the least bit interested in where he was or who he was with. Only I wasn’t actually buying it.

  Danny and Ace had some drinking game going around the kitchen table. The intention of the game appeared to be to get Marcus as drunk as possible. It had taken a lot of cajoling and taunting to convince him to play. The two of them were relentless until he caved. As low as his tolerance seemed to be, I presumed he didn’t participate in many of their nights of drunken debauchery.

  Thanks to some random chick who’s name I didn’t bother to try and catch, we were all treated to a shirtless Spade strutting around the kitchen. Nameless girl had shared how sexy she thinks tattoos are, of course prompting Spade to start stripping so everyone could admire the ink that covered much of his torso and arms.

  I had to admit it was a mighty fine chest and he had some pretty incredible tats, but I wasn’t about to go rub myself up on him like the other girl was currently trying. That earned her several dirty looks from Blondie, who had followed us from the bar as well. The girls seemed to be as interchangeable to Spade as socks so I didn’t see much point in taking time to learn their names when they probably weren’t going to be around long. There were at least five different girls in the room waiting for their opportunity to swoop in.

  I just rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the conversation Bas was having with a fellow med student who had come out to watch Ashes and Embers play tonight. They were nursing a couple beers and discussing some prestigious internship they had both applied for. Once again I was reminded of how in the dark I was about the particulars of Bas’ life now, because of my absence. Suddenly I didn’t know what my place was here, or how I fit into this new life he had made for himself. I didn’t know if we could go back to being Bas and Jazz or if things had changed too much.