I dragged myself away from the warmth of my old princess bed and took the fastest shower of my life. It was hard to enjoy it with Vi standing outside the bathroom beating on the door to rush me along. After hurriedly dressing and applying minimal makeup she was shoving me out the door toward her shiney BMW. Vi’s dad was a partner at one of the larger law firms in Boston and her Mom came from old money, so Vi always had the nicest things. She loved her Coach bags and Louboutin heels, but she never flaunted her wealth. Even though she led a pretty pampered life she wasn’t stuck up like most of the girls at the private high school we all attended. That’s where Bas and I first met her freshman year.
She drove us to a quaint café/coffee shop, just a few miles from my house. I remembered it being a bookstore when I left but the inside had been completely remodeled. It had a very eclectic but cozy atmosphere, there was funky art hanging on every wall and, the chairs were all mismatched, but they all worked together to create a really laid back vibe that reminded me of the quirky little coffee house that was a regular hang out for me in Portland.
We sat in the little area just off the entrance that used to be a reading nook when the bookstore was here. Back then I loved to come here to get away. I would sit in that spot and lose myself in a good book for a couple of hours. It still had a few comfy chairs set up to be an ideal spot to curl up with a book or laptop and your favorite drink. I could definitely still see myself spending a lot of time here, especially if the food tasted half as good as it smelled.
I ordered the caramel pecan french toast and a strawberry pineapple smoothie, while Vi opted for blueberry pancakes with some fancy coffee drink that took longer to say than it probably did to make. I had never been a coffee drinker, but Vi practically bathed in the stuff, nectar of the Gods she called it. She couldn’t function properly without it.
“Okay spill. Right now. I need to hear all about the adventures you were off having while I was eating, sleeping and breathing LSATs.” The waitress collected our menus and barely made it two steps from our table before Vi started in, but it wasn’t the lecture I was expecting.
“Wait, you’re not going to yell at me for leaving and making you worry?”
“Nope, I’m sure Sebastian already covered all that.”
“So you’re not mad at me?”
“No, I am. Or I guess I was, but I think I understand a little better why you left. Don’t get me wrong, after I knew you were okay and had just taken off, I was ready to kill you for making us worry like that, but things were always different between the two of us than you and Bas. Maybe because I didn’t meet you until later, but I never saw you as the little girl who needed a hero like he did. I know I’m not Bas and the relationship you have with him is even hard for me to understand sometimes. You two are so close, but being a girl, I think I get it a little better, what was going on with you then, what he couldn’t see.”
“So you don’t hate me for abandoning you guys? I feel like I let you both down as a friend. What I did was selfish.”
“I could never hate you, and you aren’t a bad friend babe, you didn’t let us down. If anything it’s the other way around. You never should have had to feel like leaving was your only option.”
“I feel weak for running away.”
“It wasn’t weak. What you were dealing with wasn’t typical teenage stuff. You had real shit going on. Your dad is, well, who he is, and when he wasn’t trying to manipulate you and make your life hell, he ignored you like you didn’t even exit. Your brothers and sister never did anything but torment you and don’t even get me started on that son of a bitch Connor.
“Bas just wanted to make everything better for you and protect you by keeping you in a bubble. That’s how guys are. They want to fix things and they don’t realize that sometimes that’s not always what we need. As much as I missed you, and as pissed as I was at you for scaring the crap out of us, I’m proud of you for taking control of your life. You’ve always been a lot stronger than you think and I knew you were capable of handling anything. You just needed to figure it out for yourself. I knew you’d come home when you were ready to face it all.”
“I don’t know if I am ready to face anything. So much has changed. I’ve changed, but I’m still not sure what it is I want for my life.” I wasn’t ready to tell Vi about Shane finding me in Portland and everything that happened during that visit. I hadn’t told Bas either. I wasn’t sure how either one would react. First I had to decide if it changed anything for me. I didn’t think there was anything that could ever make me see my father as anything other than a ruthless monster, but there was a time when I thought similar things about Shane.
“I needed to come home though. I realized this was the best place to figure out what I want to do with my future. I do know that it won’t have anything to do with my father’s world and I am done letting him have any say in my life. I’m hoping I can avoid confronting him for like ever. In fact it would be wonderful if he just never realized I was back.”
“Yeah, you know that’s not going to happen right?” Vi didn’t know everything about my dad, but she knew his name and that was enough.
“I can hope.” Our conversation was put on pause when the food arrived. It looked amazing, and I was starving. I sighed as I took the first bite, it was probably the most delicious thing to ever enter my mouth.
“Damn, that must be some French toast, you look like you just orgasmed.”
“I think I might have, it’s incredible.”
“If your breakfast is getting you off, then I think you are in serious need of a man. That’s going to be my welcome home present for you. I’m gonna get you laid girl. You are obviously in desperate need of a night of wild, kinky, up against the wall, monkey sex.” I choked on the bite I had just put in my mouth. My face turned beat red as her explicit illustration caused an image of dark green penetrating eyes and a wicked smile
to flash in my mind
“Oh, what was that look?”
“What was what look?”
“Uh uh, don’t try that with me. You just got all hot and bothered thinking about someone. Who is he?”
“No one. I mean there isn’t anyone.” Trying to deny it only made the blush deepen. I can’t believe I had even thought of him.
“Oh really? Because your face is more red than that smoothie your drinking. So come on, tell me”
“There’s nothing to tell, really. It’s just that there was this guy last night. He was probably the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen but he was so arrogant and completely vulgur and degrading. He thinks he’s God’s gift to the female population and that he can do and say whatever he wants. He was so infuriating.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” She had a knowing look on her face. “Sounds to me like you’re trying a little too hard not to like him.”
“No. No way.” I protested. “He’s hot, but like I said he’s just another womanizing pig and I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“Okay, okay.” She conceded, a little too easily. “So what’s his name?”
“Kyden McCabe, he’s in the band with Christian.” Vi’s eyes widened and a sly smile formed at the corners of her mouth, “Oh, I know who he is, and if I were single I‘d jump him in a heartbeat.” Vi had been with the same guy since junior year in high school. She talked slutty, but Jake wasn’t just her high school sweetheart, he was the first and only boyfriend she’d ever had, which was one more than me.
“He’s not exactly relationship material.” I told her.
“I didn’t say anything about a relationship. I believe I said you needed-”
“Yeah, I remember what you said.” My face was still warm from the visual her words provided.
“Then you know he’d be the perfect one to give that to you. I’m sure he’s an expert on all things wild and kinky.”
“I don’t doubt that, but he’s not my type.”
“No, your type is all straight laced, buttoned up and boring.”
“That�
�s not true.”
“You hardly dated in high school, and the guys you did go out with were as bland like oatmeal, and you, my friend, are not oatmeal. You are an ice cream sundae and that boy is the hot fudge sauce you smother it in!”
“Exactly! I don’t even like chocolate.”
“It was a metaphor. Normal, sane people like chocolate, and even though you shouldn’t eat it every day, once in a while you have to indulge!”
“I don’t want to indulge, so can we stop talking about my love life.”
“You don’t have a love life. How many dates did you go on in the last three years?”
“I don’t know, a few, but dating wasn’t exactly my top priority at the time.”
“Let me guess, they were all wannabe bankers, or accountants or some other stuffy, Prius driving, khaki wearing tool?”
“Those are all respectable careers. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date someone stable and responsible, who can provide security.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re twenty one, you’re too young for words like stable and security. Now is the time for making mistakes and having one night stands with sexy, bad boy musicians that you can regret later!” The last thing I need is more regrets in my life. I have too many already and my entire existence was one big regret for my father.
“That’s not who I am. I don’t do hook ups and random sex. I want to be in love and married before I … you know?” She should understand why this mattered so much to me. “I’m the result of a hook up, you get that right? The guys I date may not make my blood sizzle and my heart skip a beat, but they do call, and they treat me with respect, and they also don’t instigate fights with my best friend.”
“Wait, what, a fight? Kyden and Sebastian?”
“Yeah, he was coming onto me last night, provoking Bas and he wouldn‘t back off. I thought Bas was going to tear him apart right there in the kitchen.”
“I’m not so sure he could’ve. Kyden also has a reputation for fighting. I heard he’s taken down some really big guys who have gotten in his face.”
“Yet another reason for me to steer clear of him.” Personal experience told me the last thing I needed in my life was another violent alpha male.
“I know what you’re thinking, and he’s not Connor babe.”
“Just drop it, okay. We’re not gonna go there, and I’m not interested in having anything to do with Kyden, so let it go.”
“Okay okay, I will. I just want you to be happy here. I don’t want you to leave again.”
“I’m not gonna leave any time soon. This is home, and if I do decide to leave again, it won’t be like last time, I promise.” I meant it too. I was just going to have to prove to them I wasn’t going to run away anymore, and the only way I could do that was over time.
She kept her word and didn’t bring him up again. We finished our breakfasts while I grilled her about school, and her relationship with Jake and all the little details I had missed hearing about. She told me about rushing her sorority and how much she enjoyed being a part of the Greek system. I wasn’t surprised to hear that, she was such a social butterfly, it suited her.
She of course asked about my time away, wanting to know about the places I visited and people I met. Mostly I told her about my time in Portland, since that’s where I stayed the longest. It was the only place during those three years that even came close to feeling like a home. I had a job I enjoyed there and actually met some really great people that became good friends.
After spending the majority of the morning catching up, Vi dropped me back at the house and we made plans to connect later that evening. I was hoping Bas would join us as well. It would even be great if he could bring Lissa. I wasn’t ever close with her in school, so I really needed to get to know the girl Bas was planning on marrying.
It was strange to think about Bas being married. I didn’t feel like we were at that age, but maybe that was just because I’d never had nay one in my life I could see a future with. For some reason I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering back to the night before and picturing that smug grin and those intense eyes peering down at me from on stage. I didn’t know what it was about him, but there was something pulling me in.
Chapter 5
I had several hours before Vi and I were meeting up again and nothing else to do all day which meant there was no reason for me to keep putting off unpacking and going through the house. There was a lot to be done to get settled in to the house. I decided it wasn’t practical to stay in the princess room, which left the master bedroom or I would have to empty out the craft room.
Before coming home I wasn’t sure which room I would want. I knew my old room wouldn‘t work for more than a night now that I was over five foot and playing Barbies wasn’t my favorite thing to do. I could redo the room, but since finding out about Isabelle I thought it would be a great room for her if she ever came to stay with me, and I didn’t have the heart to paint over the princess decorations.
I didn’t think I’d have it in me to take Mom’s room either, and figured I would probably end up moving a bed into the craft room. Now that I was here though, the thought of being in her room wasn’t nearly as weird as I thought it would be. Instead of making me sad, it was actually comforting and after Vi dropped me off I started carrying my stuff up the stairs and stacking it just inside her room.
Once I had everything I needed in there I paused and took a minute to really look around at what was left of her room. During the last few weeks that she was alive, we went through a lot of her things, deciding what I wanted saved and what would be better off donated. She didn’t want me to have to do it alone, after she was gone.
Most of her clothes and shoes had been boxed up and given to a local women’s shelter which left plenty of room in the closets and dressers to put my things. Her furniture was still arranged just how she’d had it and her jewelry box, picture frames, old books and everything that meant something to her was left in place as well. While arranging my things and adding my possessions to hers, I was glad I hadn’t let anyone box her stuff up. As painful as it was to miss her, there was something extremely comfortable about seeing my things mixed in with hers, like a piece of her was here with me.
I placed the few pieces of jewelry I owned in the box next to hers. I was about to shut it when the string of pearls in the bottom drawer caught my eye. I remembered her wearing them on special occasions and a few times she even let me wear them when I played dress up. I felt like such a princess with them on, walking around in frilly dresses and her much too big, high heels as well.
After I finished unpacking the things I wanted in the bedroom, I moved on to the bathroom, unloading my makeup and bath products. I would to pick up some toilet paper and soap for both bathrooms. I started a list on my phone and added to it as I came across things I needed to get.
I also made a list of phone calls I needed to make to get the house in order. My mom’s life insurance left behind enough money for me that I’d been able to keep power and water turned on at the house so that I always had the option of coming back, but I would have to call a cable company to get internet and tv. I also needed to find out about garbage pick up and a hundred other little things.
There wasn’t much to be done in the other rooms. Everything was clean and I didn’t have many other belongings; just a few paintings and pictures to hang and some dishes to put in the kitchen. It wasn’t long before all I had left was a pile of empty boxes and a long grocery shopping/to do list. I was Googling the phone numbers I needed for the internet and garbage company, when my phone went off in my hand.
“Hey Sadie.” I chirped.
Sadie was one of the amazing people I met in Portland. She was a few years older than me and lived in the apartment across the hall from the one I had lived in. She’s one of the sweetest most nurturing people I know. I think that’s what drew me to her in the beginning. She was genuinely interested in people and would drop everything to help a friend out. She saw me strugg
ling up the flight of stairs with some of my heavier boxes when I moved in, and had come out to help me. Afterward she invited me over to her place for dinner so that I wouldn’t have to order in. After a little over a year of being away from Boston, living in three different places and not connecting with anyone, Sadie was a ray of light.
We hit it off right away and she even got me a job at the music store where she worked. Unlike me, Sadie was insanely talented at all things musical. That had been what prompted me to take the guitar lessons which failed miserably, seeing as I was about as musically inclined as a chair. Definitely wasn’t what I was meant to do. Needless to say I only worked there for about two months before I got hired on at a local art gallery, but Sadie and I stayed close.
“Hey girly, how are you? Getting settled in?” She asked.
“Yeah, I just finished unpacking everything. I’m getting ready to head to the store to pick up some groceries and stuff I need for around the house.”
“And how is it being back, are you okay being in the house?” I could tell she really was worried about me, and I loved her for it. She knew about my mom, and how hard it was for me to even talk about her.
“It’s actually good. It’s not nearly as painful as I was expecting. It still hurts to walk in to a room and picture her in there, reading or baking cookies, but mostly the memories are more comforting than anything now.”
“That’s good, it means you really have done a lot of healing. Have you seen anyone yet?”
“I ran into Bas’ dad when I first arrived. He still lives next door and that was somewhat emotional, but not nearly as emotional as when I surprised Bas by showing up at the bar where he was last night.”
“Oh, how did that go?” Sadie was the only friend I had made there that I felt close enough with to really share my life from before. She knew how scared I was about coming back and facing Bas. She knew almost everything. I left out some about who my dad is, but she knew I was running from some pretty awful stuff.
Finding Ever After Page 6