“We yelled, we cried, we hugged and he threatened me if I ever left like that again. Pretty much what I expected, but we’re good now.” I recapped. “He’s got this whole new life though. He’s going to get engaged and I’m not quite sure where my place is, or how I’m supposed to fit into it.” I admitted.
“You’ll figure it out. From everything you’ve told me, it sounds like your guys’ friendship will make it through this and I’m here for you if you need anything.”
“I know, and thank you for that. You’ve been amazing. You’re a big part of the reason that I’ve been doing so much better and felt ready to come back here.” I was suffering from a pretty bad depression, and wasn’t handling the loneliness well at all before I went to Portland. Her friendship really changed things for me and she pushed me to open up and work through my issues. She shared with me her own story, which was was pretty heartbreaking. She knew all about loss and grief and pushing through it, and like me she was pretty much on her own.
“That’s what friends do for each other. You’ve been there for me as well. I already miss you and I was gonna let it be a surprise, but I’m trying to get time off sometime this summer to visit you.”
“Are you serious? That would be amazing.” I squealed. I missed her too and had even tried to talk her into coming with me. Aside from her job she had nothing tying her to Oregon.
We talked for another fifteen minutes making plans for when she came to visit. She was determined to meet the guys after I made the mistake of mentioning the merry band of playboys that I’d met. Somehow I felt prompted to tell her about Kyden as well. I really don’t know why I did that but she seemed especially interested in meeting the guy who had me so flustered. It had taken her about as long as it had Vi to get me to spill all the details from the night before. When she was satisfied I hadn’t left any details out we said goodbye and I promised to text her later. Once I was off the phone I tackled my lists.
Several phone calls and a trip to the store later I was back home and making lunch for myself. Once I was finished with my gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwich I gathered up all of the empty boxes and duffels from unpacking and took them to the craft room. It also served for storing random things that didn’t have a place. It used to be full of half completed knitting projects, hand painted ceramics, partially painted canvases and boxes of ribbon and buttons and various other craft supplies. Mom collected hobbies like some people collected antiques. She also had the tendency to lose her enthusiasm and motivation for a project part way in, but that never stopped her form starting them.
The craft room was another room we had weeded through before she passed. We spent a lot of late nights in here finishing some of the projects together and tossing the ones that were hopeless. One that Mom really got into near the end was scrap booking. There on the work table was the album we had been working on when she died and a stack of photos. There were a lot of tears and laughter on those nights, while we cut and pasted pictures, remembering all of the good times. She might’ve been a single parent, but she loved me enough for two. Even during the early years, when we didn’t have much money, she gave me the best childhood. I never really felt like I was missing anything.
I set the empty boxes down and picked up the book. It was almost finished but for the last few pages. I took it back to my mom’s room, or my room now. It would probably be a while before I could get used to calling it my room. I still thought of my room as the one with bright pink paint, princess curtains and the mural of a fairy tale castle painted on the wall, one of the few art projects she did start to finish when we first moved in.
I sat down on the bed and began flipping through the pages of baby pictures and dress up, camping trips, and my first day of school. Some pictures were just me, or me and Bas. In other’s my Mom’s beautiful face smiled back at me. I fell asleep with the scrap book spread out beside me and dreams of my childhood playing in my head.
“Mommy, I wanna go back to the old house, I don’t want to live here.” I didn’t want to move. I was not going to get out of the car. I liked my old bedroom, I liked my old school and I liked Mrs. Curtis, who lived next door. She would watch me when Mommy had to work and she was really nice. She played games with me and baked me cookies. I didn’t know anybody in these houses, they were probably all cranky and mean.
“I know Princess, but you’ll see that is going to be so much better than the old house. It’s bigger, and it’s closer to Mommy’s new job. Look at how big the yard is sweetie, you’ll actually be able to play in it.”
The yard was pretty big. I bet is was big enough for a slip n’ slide, but I still didn’t want to live here. I wouldn’t know any kids at my new school. What if they didn’t like me?
“When I was here yesterday moving furniture in, I saw a couple little boys playing outside the house next door. I’m sure you’ll be friends in no time, and then you’ll have kids to play with.” I looked out the window and there was a red Spiderman bike and two scooters in the yard next door. I wondered if they would play with me. Maybe they went to my new school and would be my friends. I hoped there was a girl too. Boys are pretty weird.
“Come on sweetheart. Please just come inside and see the house. I promise you’ll love it. Your room is even bigger than your old one, and we’ll decorate it special, just for you princess.” I guess I could go in and see it, for Mommy.
The house was bigger than the old one and prettier too. The paint wasn’t peeling off and there were flowers all around it. I like flowers. There wasn’t anywhere to plant flowers at the old house.
Inside was pretty too, and it had stairs. Our old house didn’t have an upstairs. Mommy said our bedrooms were up there. I followed her up and into the room she said was mine. The walls were plain white, but Mommy said we would paint them. I wanted them to be pink. My bed was already put together and my favorite blankets and stuffed animals were already on it. There was a big closet too, for all my toys. My Barbie house was there and so was my toy box.
“Do you like it?” I nodded my head.
“Can we make it pink?” She smiled.
“Yes, we‘ll paint them all pink. Except for this one.” She faced the wall that didn’t have a window or closet. “This one we’ll make blue like the sky, and I’ll paint a big castle, just like in your favorite stories. We’ll make this your princess room.” I really wanted it to be my princess room. I smiled real big.
“Can we really Mom?”
“Anything for you. Just wait here and I’ll run out to the car and bring the boxes with the rest of your stuff and then you can decide where you want everything to go while I finish unloading the car.” I liked our new house a lot.
Mommy went back outside and I walked over to my window to look outside. I could see the house next door. From my room I could see right into the window across from mine. There was a boy standing in it. He was looking at me. He looked like he was my age. I wondered if the Spiderman bike was his. We both just stared at each other, and then he waved. He didn’t look too weird. I waved back.
I was pulled out of my dream by a familiar Avett Brothers ringtone. I reached for my cell phone and realized it was after six. I had slept for almost two hours, no wonder I felt rested. I pulled myself out of the bed and answered the phone
“Why is it you’re always waking me up Vi?”
“Don’t you do anything besides sleep?”
“I took a nap after I got everything unpacked. So what’s up?”
“O’Brien’s tonight, but we’re going to meet up with Sebastian and Lissa first to grab a bite to eat.” Ugh O’Brien’s. Tonight would be interesting. “I’m picking you up at seven so start getting cute.”
“I’m always cute, what are you talking about?”
“You weren’t so cute when you got out of bed this morning looking like a rabid animal.”
“That’s because someone woke me up too early.”
“Just go put on something sexy, no jeans. I’ll be there in an hour.
” She ended the call and I let out a groan. I don’t mind dressing up and being girly for a night, but Vi’s opinion of what was acceptable “going out” attire, differed greatly from mine. I knew if she didn’t approve when she got here, she would just force me to change into something she picked out and then I would end up looking like a three dollar hooker. We had been through the routine enough in high school. She’s the reason I ended up at senior homecoming in a strapless, red satin dress. My date spent the whole night staring at my chest, until Bas punched him in the nose for copping a feel. I blamed Vi for the whole incident.
I rifled through my closet and chose a royal blue slim fit, stretch skirt that cut off a few inches above my knees. I paired it with a lacey black sleeveless, v neck top with a draping hemline. It was low cut enough that she would find it acceptably sexy, but not so much that I would be exposing myself all night or worry about my scar being visible. It remained hidden.
Forty five minutes later my make up was done and my hair was falling down my back in soft curls. Vi would be showing up any minute so I slipped my leather jacket over my ensemble and slid my feet into a pair of black Chuck’s. I knew this would drive Vi crazy and she would make me change into heels, but I also knew that if I put the heels on now she would just look for some other fault in my outfit. It was better to let her think she was gaining this small victory.
Right on time Vi burst through the front door, not even bothering to knock.
“You better be ready and you better be wearing something hot.” She called out. I heard her heels clicking from the entryway in to the kitchen where I was waiting. She paused in the doorway to give me her once over, her eyes narrowed on my shoes. “No.”
“No what?” I feigned ignorance.
“You are not wearing those. You actually look half way decent, all feisty kitty from the legs up, and then you go and ruin it with those shabby, tomboy sneakers.”
“They’re not shabby, and they won’t hurt my feet all night.” I had to put up a fight to make it more satisfactory for her when I caved.
“As your friend I cannot let you leave the house in those shoes. So march your butt upstairs and put on a pair of heels, and they had better be at least four inches. You’ve got killer legs, you need play em up babe.”
I traded the chucks for a pair of shimmery, silver satin, peep toe pumps. I had to admit, even though my feet would be sore by the end of the night, they were gorgeous shoes. Vi grinned her approval when I came back down the stairs.
“Do I pass your inspection? Can we go now?”
“Well, your skirt could be a little shorter.” She teased and I just grabbed my purse and dragged her from the house before I ended up with even less clothing on. Vi was wearing a colorful geo-tribal print, mini dress, with three quarter sleeves and it left nothing of her figure to the imagination. She had the curves and slim waist to pull it off flawlessly. I was surprised Jake let her leave the house in something so short and tight. He had nothing to worry about though; for all her talk, Vi was faithful and he knew that.
“So where is your lover tonight?” I asked her.
“Working. Like always. The life of an intern, tantamount to slavery.” Over breakfast Vi told me all about the summer internship Jake was doing with one of the large architect firms in Boston. “He has an important project he needs to finish before tomorrow for some big proposal his boss is working on. He said if he finishes before midnight he might meet up with us, but I’m not expecting it to happen.”
I thought about still going to college, it had always been my plan but I wasn’t sure anymore if it would happen. It was hard to see all of my friends pursuing their dreams, going after what they wanted. I just really didn’t have any idea what that would look like for me. One more thing I could add to my to do list: figure out what to do with the rest of my life.
Chapter 6
We pulled up outside a familiar restaurant. It was the same place we ate on graduation night. It was one of my favorite. They had the best authentic Italian food in the area, or at least that’s how I remembered it. Inside the hostess led us to the booth where Bas and Lissa were already seated.
The first few minutes after we slid in across from them were filled with typical greetings and small talk while we perused our menus. Lissa seemed a little chilly toward me when I tried asking her about what she had been up to since high school. All I got were short, brusque responses when I tried to make conversation with her. Bas repeatedly had to jump in and elaborate to keep conversation flowing. I felt really awkward, especially since she had no problem being friendly with Vi. I wasn’t sure what I had done to warrant her aloofness.
When the waitress returned to take our order, I threw a questioning look at Vi. She just shrugged, but it was obvious she picked up on the frosty behavior as well. Whatever it was I needed to try and get past it, for Bas’ sake. I owed it to him to keep trying. If he loved her, I was determined to love her as well, even if she wasn’t going to make it easy. After we ordered I made another attempt at engaging her.
“So Lissa, Bas said you‘ve got an audition with the Boston Symphony Orchestra. That’s really great. Congratulations” In high school she carried her violin around everywhere; clearly it paid off for her. It didn’t help me any though. She wasn’t any more interested in talking about her musical accomplishments than she had been any of the other subjects I had brought up since the evening started.
“Yes, thanks.”
“Bas says you’re incredible. I can’t play an instrument to save my life. I tried to learn guitar while I was living in Oregon. A friend of mine got me a job at a music shop, but that was a disaster and I didn’t last long there.”
“No, I don’t imagine that you did.” I was taken aback by the obvious jab. Even Bas looked surprised. “I just meant that if you don’t have any musical knowledge it would be difficult and not at all enjoyable to work in a music store.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what she meant. Instead of saying that, I just took a deep breath and kept the smile plastered to my face.
“You’re right. My friend got me the job there to help me out. Unlike me, she’s amazingly talented. Her name is Sadie. I’m pretty sure she can play just about any instrument, and she has an incredible voice. She’s actually coming to visit soon, you guys would probably get along great.”
“Yes, I’m sure she’s plenty qualified to work in a music store.” She sounded skeptical. “Did she study anywhere?”
“She hasn’t studied anywhere. She’s been through some rough times and hasn’t been able to pursue her music the ways she wants, but I know she’ll make it. I think her mom played the cello and at first she wanted to follow in her footsteps, but now the indie/ folk scene is more her style than classical.”
“A lot of musicians don‘t have the discipline for it, yet every half decent artist out there thinks they have what it takes to make it. To an untrained ear it probably seems that way as well. Good musicians are as common as groupies at an Ashes and Embers show.”
She looked pointedly at me. What had Bas told her? Not only was she insulting my friend but was she also calling me a groupie? “I’m sure if she had what it takes she wouldn’t let anything stand in her way. But at least she has her job at the music store.” Well she wasn’t having a problem talking now and I was taken aback at the contempt in her voice. I wasn’t the only one. Bas sent her a questioning look before turning to me.
“Sorry, I’m sure Liss didn’t mean for that to come out sounding so harsh, she’s just really passionate about her music.” He turned back to her. “Right?”
“Of course, I didn’t mean to discredit your friend” I doubted her sincerity. “If you’ll excuse me I just need to use the restroom.”
“What was that about?” I asked after she was out of sight.
“She’s just had a rough week, don’t take it personally. It’s just a mood.” Even he wasn’t buying his own excuses. He forgot I knew him too well for him to get away with lying to me.
�
�Oh come on Bas that felt pretty personal to me.” The look on his face told me he knew what the problem was.
“Just give her time to warm up to you. I’ll talk to her later.” I wasn’t reassured, but I could understand that he didn’t want any conflict between the two of us. I would let it go for now.
Our food came just after Lissa returned from the bathroom. The meal remained slightly awkward and tense. Vi and Bas kept conversation flowing, but Lissa and I avoided speaking directly to each other. If the rest of our night was like this, it was going to be a long night. When we were finally sliding into Vi’s car, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Yeah, that was tense. I’ve never really seen her like that.” Obviously it was my presence that incited her atypical behavior. At least the less than pleasant dining experienced had served to distract me from my unease about O’Brien’s, but now it was back.
O’Brien’s was a popular Allston Pub, one that used to be regularly frequented by a certain crowd associated with my father. There was a possibility I would be seeing more familiar faces tonight, ones I would rather not see. I could only hope that they had found a new watering hole in the last three years, after all Boston was a big city with plenty of bars.
Even though I knew the chances of running into anyone were slim, my apprehension didn’t lessen any as we walked down the street toward the busy pub. Vi stopped me when we were still a block away. Vi picked up on it after I failed to respond to some comment she made.
“Hey, what’s up? Is this still about Lissa? Because we don’t have to hang out with her tonight, we can just dance and have a good time ourselves.”
“No it’s not that. It’s probably stupid, the chances of him or any of them being here are low, but O’Brien’s used to be a favorite of some of the guys who worked for my dad. ”
Finding Ever After Page 7