"Sounds like you already know what you need to do." Dylan said.
"I was only giving examples."
“But that's exactly how one goes romantic without overdoing it.”
“He's right.” Aurora said. “If you want to fake being in love, you do some of the things you would do if you were in love. You hold hands. You compliment each other. You spend time together. It doesn't get easier than that.”
“Oh.” Somehow, that did not make me feel better. “Well, thanks, you two. Now can I ask just one tiny question that's been on my head for a very long time?”
“Ask away.”
I turned to Dylan. I had to know this for a fact. Rachel had told it to me before and again last night. It was one of the few things I remembered about last night besides the sex. “It's you actually. Is it true that you broke into some drunk guy's house and broke his arms?”
Dylan looked at Aurora and sighed. “Why are people still spreading that lie, Rory?”
“I don't know, sweetheart.”
I felt a little misty-eyed at that point. Could it be? Had I been wrong about this leather-clad, sneering, possibly able to break me in half gentleman? There was a tickle in my throat and a twinkle in my eye. Maybe my grandparents would not be turned off by the leather jacket. Maybe they wouldn't be cursing me for hanging around a heathen. Maybe they would hear this story about what a nice young man he was. Maybe they would realize that the tough exterior was just that; a tough exterior. Maybe he planted flowers and helped old ladies across the street and sang in church. Oh man, maybe he actually went to church.
“Oh, you didn't break his arms.” I sighed with relief. What a prince. No wonder such a lovely girl like Aurora fell for him. I was about to fall for him.
“That's right. I broke his legs.”
I knew he wasn't a prince! “You...you broke both legs?”
“And it was beautiful.” He smirked. “I wish you could have seen it.”
“And I'm glad I didn't!” I exclaimed, grabbing Rachel's arm. “I mean, I'm sure you have good reasons and I'm happy for you and please don't kill me ever and I hope that...”
“Whoa! Stop right there!” He cut me off. “Why would I kill you?”
That was a very good question that I had no answers to. “I, um...you frightened me?”
“With what? That story? Dude, you've done nothing wrong. I'm not going to hurt you if you're not a bad person or you've done nothing to me. We've been getting along fine even if we haven't been spending every minute together. You're a cool guy.”
I let out a huge sigh. “So you don't randomly beat the crap out of people?”
He turned to Aurora and started laughing. “What do you take me for?! You think I went to prison or something?”
Actually, I wouldn't be shocked if you escaped from it. I desperately wanted to reply but held my tongue. I valued my teeth and my spleen. I didn't want him to perform surgery with bare hands on me while I was still awake. “I'm sorry. It's just that...the story freaked me out.”
“Don't be freaked out anymore.” Aurora told me. “If you aren't hurting others, my boyfriend is not going to hurt you. Got it?”
I gulped and nodded. Any other time, I would have been convinced by those words. But with the whole marriage hoopla running around, my nerves were getting the best of me. Eventually, I would end up getting hurt. I wasn't marrying Rachel for real. She wasn't my bride to be. I was only pretending that she was because my parents would not leave me alone. I could only imagine the hell that would erupt if they learned the truth, that I was not engaged and that I would not be giving them the grandchildren they were desperate for. At least not yet.
“We should leave them alone now.” She suggested. I nodded and waved to them as we wandered into the dining room. The sex had made me hungry for some reason so we decided to have some smaller snacks while talking over stuff.
“As long as you're polite, you'll be fine.” I said. “Smile and nod at everything they say. Unless they ask you something inappropriate. If that happens, I'll be there to help you through.”
“You're way too good.” She shook her head. “How am I going to get through this?”
“You will.” I patted her hand. “No matter how bad things get, I'll be there for you.”
“You mean it?”
“Yeah.” I squeezed her thigh and thought back on the previous night. This was my first time where sex was actually enjoyable. I had no qualms with doing it everywhere. I would have done it all over again. I wanted that fiery feeling on my lips whenever she kissed me. I wanted everything with her. I didn't think we had to fake anything anymore.
“You'll be fine.” I assured her. “With me next to you, you'll be fine.”
“So...can we watch a movie again?” She suggested. “To pass time? I want to see calendars die again. Or clocks. Something.”
I smirked. “Death of clocks it is.”
127
Carter Tachikawa
Chapter 15
My relatives all arrived on the latest flight imaginable and it left me and Rachel yawning and leaning on each other. Aurora and Dylan offered to come along but it wasn't really worth it. They were already asleep, cuddled up like two disgusting little caterpillars trying to make a cocoon and making me sick instead. I didn't dare to say anything though. Dylan would cram his fist so far up my ass, I would have hemorrhoids to last me into my next lifetime. The man was pleased with breaking a guy's legs. I was afraid of what he could do to me if I made another snarky remark.
“You nervous?” I turned to Rachel.
She shook her head. “You sound more nervous than me.”
“Well, it's my family. I love them, yeah, but I can't help it. I wonder if they're going to ever approve of anything I do.” I went on. “I like you a ton. I'm only hoping they do.”
“If I don't screw anything up, I'm sure we'll be all right.” She patted my shoulder. “God, you're tense in there! Want me to massage you?”
“I, um...I would really like that.” I heard myself saying. She began working her magic on my body and I almost melted. “Thank you very much.”
As soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted it. I wanted Dylan to wake up and give me a knuckle sandwich. What was this tomfoolery? I was asking the girl to massage my shoulders like I was her boyfriend! Yet Rachel saw nothing wrong with this. She got up and went about rubbing them. I began to feel less tense up there but the nerves were tied into knots.
“That feels good.” I admitted. “I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I know what it's like to get tense. I used to do this with Rory when she was younger. I've started rubbing Dylan's back too. But of the three of you, I think you need back rubs more than anyone else.”
“You got that right.” I groaned. “What am I going to say to my family? What are we going to do once all this is over? I guess I didn't really think this brilliant plan all the way through.”
“Relax! I don't think it's as bad as you're thinking!”
My phone went off and I knew I had another text from Astra. No, I didn't want to look at it but my own stupid curiosity got the best of me. Rachel looked over my shoulder as we read the latest declaration of her love.
You are like the top of the bottle of Limca. Cool, refreshing, and satisfying down to the last drop. Settle in my stomach, dearest bottle of Limca. I will be yours forever.
That made Rachel burst out laughing. “Is that a love note?”
“I don't have a damn clue what this is actually.”
“You seem pretty calm about this.”
“I only seem calm on the outside. Inside, I want to shed tears of fear.”
This much was true. My outsides were calm as the bottle of ice-cold Limca. Inside, I was gagging. Ick, I was a bottle of Limca! All the things in the world, I was Limca?! Limca gave me horrible indigestion. The last thing I wanted to be compared to was a bottle of lime soda that made my stomach upset and gave me diarrhea that left me in the bathroom (or 'the hole' as I
lovingly called bathrooms in India) for three full days. It was almost disgusting and I wanted to throw up. If I was Limca, God knows what she wanted me to think of her as.
“I'm sorry she still torments you.”
“She'll get over it.” I put my phone aside. “Now come on. I think they'll be arriving soon and we've got to be ready to greet them. Wake up the love birds if you can.”
We went to see the others and I realized I was right. The flight from Air India had finally arrived from Mumbai. Even though only my mother's brother and his wife lived in Mumbai, everyone was coming in from there. My mother had made the smart decision of getting them on the same flight. That way, they would be able to get over jet lag together and we wouldn't have to be waiting for the others to show up later. Plus I wanted Rachel to get used to them all at once. She was with me right now, holding my hand, while Aurora and Dylan peered from behind us.
People began to pour out from the escalators and I finally spotted my cousin, Vikram, waving down to me. All of a sudden, my nerves vanished and were replaced with excitement. I could not help it. I had not seen him or the others in a year. My grandparents definitely looked older but were still standing strong. I was shocked to see that neither one asked for a wheelchair. Not that it would have mattered. My grandfather would demand to walk from the gate down to me anyway. But my heart was fluttering with joy. I was happy. I didn't care that I was going to lie to them about my supposed engagement. My relatives were here and I couldn't wait to show them around.
“Is that them?” Rachel whispered.
“What makes you think that?”
“You're doing the 'pissing' dance again.” She pointed out. “I figured that either it's them or you really need to go.”
“Oh, it's them! It's all of them!” Vikram was running down the escalator to greet me. “Vicky! You son of a bitch, get down here! I've got people about to fall asleep on the floor!”
“Hey!” My Auntie Swapna barked when she heard me exclaim that. “If I was not a respectable teacher in Mangalore, I would beat you black and blue with my champaal!”
“Chill, Auntie! Chill!” I exclaimed, running up and giving all my cousins a hug. I had no reason to dread anything right now. I quickly prayed to all my older relatives before giving them a hug too. “No need to give me a beating of any kind. I'm just thrilled to see you.”
“Same here!” Vikram returned my hug, then pulled away. “You're softer, Anwar! What are you eating these days? Too many rasagullas?”
And it was then that I remembered why I was dreading this meeting in the first place. As soon as the hugs and greetings were over, they were going to talk about how I looked. It never failed. Indian people loved to talk about how much bigger or smaller someone was. It wasn't even their place to comment but they would do it. For some reason, my family cared about how much someone was eating. I still kept the smile plastered on my face.
“You've gotten bigger.” My grandmother first noticed. “But skinny too? Is your mother not feeding you properly? What is the meaning of this?”
“I, uh...nothing, Dadi. It's nothing.”
“Is this the future granddaughter in law? Why have you not told us that she is not Indian?” My grandfather asked.
I looked around. “I didn't think it mattered? It doesn't, does it?”
“Oh no! It does not matter. It is just that...back in the village there is someone whose daughter is of right marrying age for you. He has promised me three cows for her hand in marriage! And he will give you ten of them!”
Ten cows. My grandparents were willing to give up my dignity and my life and my world for measly cows. Mooing, milking, grazing cows. Did my family forget that I did not live on a farm or a petting zoo? That I had no idea how to raise cows? What the hell was I going to do with ten of them plus some girl I didn't know from a village that I visited only once every other year? I didn't know how to milk one and I didn't eat beef so no way in hell was I eating one. I swear, they still didn't know who I was.
“Grandfather, I don't know if I told you this but...I have no use for cows in my life! I'm not a farmer and this isn't India!” I exclaimed. “And why would you want to give me away to a girl I have never seen in my life? This isn't 200 BC!”
“Calm down, calm down!” Rachel silenced me, nodding her head to everyone. “I apologize for this. I'm guess he didn't tell you that I'm not Indian but it's okay. That doesn't mean I haven't cooked Indian food or learned about the culture. He's helped out a lot in that.”
“This is true!” I bobbed my head up and down. “I'm still a good man!”
They reluctantly accepted this point when she prayed to them properly. Whew! I had dodged that bullet well.
Aurora did very well with the praying to the elders part. “It's a huge pleasure to meet all of you.”
“Thank you.” Auntie Swapna said, looking pleased at the behavior the young ones were displaying. I could feel that tear falling out of my eye. My babies were making me feel like a proud father. Granted, if I had children, none of them would be anything like Dylan or Aurora. But for now, I was going to pretend that they were mine.
“Our Anwar did say you were very polite people.” She went on. “It is nice to know that he is close to his future sister-in-law. I hope it can be the same for us.”
“Oh, thank you, Auntie!” She exclaimed.
My aunt's smile fell off her face and turned into a frown. “I do not mean that close.”
Yikes! I stepped in front of them and began laughing my 'God, I have diarrhea, someone please end my life' laugh. “Oh, Auntie, it's okay! It's all my fault! I told her that being respectful to elders is a good thing in our culture! So she was just trying to be polite. Am I right?”
I nudged her in the rib, which made her wince and earned me a look from Dylan. I couldn't really read that look other than the fact that he wanted to rip my spleen out. “You see? They're really polite people.”
My relatives were happy to hear that reason and began talking amongst themselves. Rachel looked lost at all the Hindi words being exchanged so I tried to explain. “You can relax. They like you. They were surprised you weren't Indian but they aren't against it.”
“Thank goodness!” She exclaimed.
“They don't like Dylan's jacket though.”
“I figured just as much.” She sighed, taking my hand. “Don't worry. I will try to clean him up the next time he visits. I have to remind him that cows are sacred.”
“In India, yes. Here? Not a chance in hell. And that hell has ribs and hamburgers all over the place.” I joked. “Tell him he can wear it in sweltering heat if he wants to. Besides, I'm marrying you, not him.” And thank Lord Krishna for that. I added silently to myself. I didn't want to get married to the guy that broke someone else's legs and was proud of the fact.
“Yeah, we're getting 'married' sometime next month.” She winked at me. “Though I kind of wish we could have a celebration while they're here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, ever since we started this whole thing, I've been kind of wanting to see what an Indian wedding is like. I've heard how great they are , but hearing about it can't be the same as experiencing it. It would be nice to be a part of it, you know? I would have loved that.” She sighed. “But hey, we're doing what we have to do.”
Yeah. What we had to do. Suddenly, the plan did not seem as grand as the first time around. Once everyone went home, that meant we had to stop spending time together. No more fake make outs, no more hanging out, no more anything out. I couldn't help but get misty-eyed again. It wasn't exactly how I wanted to end this idiotic idea. Looking back at the lovebirds made it worse. They had never done something this stupid. Whatever problems they had could probably be handled without worrying about how people saw them. Me, I was too busy fretting about someone finding out the truth. I was worrying about getting hurt and dishonoring my family. Talk about having a lot on one's plate. And I wasn't talking about taking too many puris and rasagullas on that
plate either. It was more emotions than I wanted to deal with.
Rachel touched my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Oh yeah! I'm super duper!” I exclaimed, acting like she had pushed a pin into my ass. “Happy, happy, joyful and happy! My family's here!”
She stepped back. “Okay. We've got to stop feeding you so much sweet stuff.”
“I'm happy and I'm nervous.” I explained, calming down long enough to tell her this. “I just can't wait until tomorrow morning where you can show off what a good member of the family you can be. Maybe you can speak Hindi to them.”
“Whoa, no! My Hindi is still terrible.” She said. “I don't think I want to embarrass you or me by trying to speak a language that I started learning. I'm still butchering words.”
“I'm sure you'll be fine. But everyone understands English even if they can't speak it that well.” I promised her. “So all you have to do is be charming. Which is basically being yourself.”
She grinned. “You think I'm charming?”
“Why wouldn't you be? You're funny, you're nice, you're smart...I find all that charming inside a woman.” I put my arm around her waist. “Now come on. I think the luggage is finally in the car so we can go home and I can go on about how charming you really are.”
She eyed the thousands of bags on the sidewalk. “...This belongs to your family?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Did they bring everything in the house with them?”
“What do you think?”
“Wow!” She breathed out. “And they're only staying for a month, right?”
“True that.”
“I can't imagine what they'd bring if they were staying longer.” She said, following me and helping put some of the suitcases in the car. My arm nearly fell off trying to pick up my aunt's suitcase. The damn thing felt like it had twenty bowling balls in it.
“Oh, I can and I don't want to!” I grunted, shoving bowling ball bag into the back. “And they complain I pack too much when I come over.”
She laughed and helped me as I dropped the second bowling ball heavy bag on my toe. As I hopped around in pain, she carefully lifted it off the ground and slid it into the back. Grinning, I gave her a thumbs up while my foot burned in pain.
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