by Lacey Wolfe
“How has your day been?” he asked.
I’ve come to the realization the world finds me boring. “It’s been a normal day, I guess. I’m looking forward to Kristy’s visit.”
“I bet.” He opened the menu and I did the same.
A few moments later, a server appeared and we placed our drink and food order.
I tapped my fingers on the table. “I went by the coffee house to surprise you today.”
“Aw, and it would’ve been a good one, too.”
He always flattered me and made my stomach do flip flops. Was this love? Or was it just him smooth talking me like always. Either way, I liked it and I hoped it didn’t end anytime soon. “Leah was there.”
“She usually is. She’s desperate for the hours, and my dad likes to have the least amount of employees that he can.”
Not able to bite my tongue, I said, “I wanted to clear the air that I don’t go there for free coffee.”
He grinned. “Good. I was hoping you came there for the hot guy in the corner.”
I shook my head playfully. “Well, she implied that’s why I came there, since I left without getting a drink today.”
He rubbed his palm along the edge of the table. “Pais, don’t worry about Leah. Seriously. She’s just jealous.”
Which was something I had to learn to deal with. This wasn’t high school anymore, where I only had a few girls to worry about. There was a whole city out there that knew Gabe. Girls he’d dated and whatever else.
The server returned with our drinks. I grabbed mine immediately and sucked my soda down.
“Thirsty?” Gabe raised an eyebrow.
More like, I needed a reason not to talk. I was trying to keep our time light and fun, but really I wanted to blow up and let him and the whole world know I had a back bone.
“Any other plans besides the party for when Kristy is here?”
“I don’t know. Probably shopping.” I had yet to find anyone in my classes I connected to. I really needed a girlfriend to hit some of these boutiques with to spruce up my wardrobe. But it seemed like every waking moment away from school and work, I wanted to be with Gabe. But that wasn’t such a bad thing, was it?
“Keep in mind, I like it when you wear pale yellow.”
He had a color he liked me to wear? Note to self, wear it all the time. “I’ll remember that.”
“Oh, and I like you in dresses, skirts, shorts. Whatever I can see your legs in.”
I laughed. “Got it. Legs and yellow.”
The server was back again, this time with our food. “Can I get you two anything else?”
I shook my head and Gabe told her we were fine.
“Your mom back?” I asked before I took a bite from my pita.
“She is. And she’s back to the good mom for now. Guess the trip did her some good. Nate’s been pretty happy. We’ll see how long it lasts.”
“Was she like that when you were growing up?”
He nodded. “Yeah, she’s always been like that. I spent a lot of time with my grandma. My parents live an interesting lifestyle to say the least. Not one I’m interested in.” He paused, “I think it’s why I’m so attracted to you.”
My curiosity was peaked. “What kind of lifestyle?”
He smirked. “Really want to know?”
“Yes.” I wanted to know everything about Gabe I could. He didn’t open up a lot, so if he felt like sharing, I was more than willing to listen.
“They are swingers.”
Swingers? “What do you mean?”
He set his pita down. “Seriously? You don’t know what swingers are?”
My cheeks burned and I hated how stupid I felt. I pulled my phone from my purse. I’d Google whatever it was.
“I don’t mind telling you,” he said. “I’m just shocked you don’t know.”
“I don’t mind looking it up,” I snapped.
“Hey, are you mad at me?” He stared at me with concern, but I ignored him as I typed swingers into the search field of the mobile browser.
Yikes! I hoped Gabe wasn’t into that. There was no way I could share him with anyone else. I set my phone down on the table and went back to my meal.
“Paisley, are you mad at me?” he asked again.
“No, but I’m sick and tired of everyone thinking I’m a baby.”
He shoved his plate forward. “I don’t think that. Who thinks that?”
“Everyone. I’m so innocent. I don’t know anything. Apparently, I come across as though I don’t have a backbone. Well I do. I’m so sorry I didn’t know what a swinger was! Give me a break.”
Gabe gazed at me with wide eyes. “I don’t think any of that.”
“Yes, you do. You always tell me how innocent I am. I’m not innocent.” I was even sick of saying the damn word.
“I’m sorry. I won’t say it again.”
We finished eating in silence. I felt bad for getting so upset. Gabe wasn’t to blame. It was me. I needed to stand up for myself, but I’d taken it out on him. Now I felt even worse.
The server set the ticket down and took our empty plates. “Let me know if I can be any more help to you.”
“Uh, did you want to get it, or me, or split it?” Gabe asked.
I definitely didn’t want him paying for it. “I’ll get it. My treat for my outburst.” I counted out the money I needed and set it inside the folder. “Ready?”
Once outside, we walked a little ways from the restaurant. Still silent. I missed Gabe’s arms around me. I like the way he held me, and now, even though he was only inches away, it felt like miles. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He stared at me. “You obviously feel that way, and I need to be more mindful of your feelings.”
“It’s not you. Well, not really. It’s everyone, but you.”
He took my hand and pulled me over to a bench and we sat. “You know, who you are is who you are. Don’t change it. It’s what draws me to you. Don’t change because of what others think of you. I like you.” He pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. “You’re perfect and the world needs more Paisley’s.”
God, he was totally making me swoon. He still stared at me like I was the only woman he had eyes for. “You’re just sucking up.”
“No, I’m not.” He brushed his lips against mine. “I’ve fallen hard for you because of who you are. I like you sweet.” He leaned close to my ear and whispered, “You taste even sweeter.”
A shiver went down my spine.
“Don’t change. Okay?”
I nodded. “This is all because of Leah. She got me thinking when she called me a wimp.”
“She called you a wimp?”
“Sort of. After she made the comment that I was leaving since you weren’t there to get me a free drink. I told her I didn’t trust her to make my drink since you weren’t there. Then she called me a bitch, and that she was surprised I had backbone because she always thought of me as a wimp.”
Gabe groaned. “She’s a bitch. She’s pissy because she wants to go out with me and I keep turning her down. Don’t let her get under your skin.”
Too late. “Yes, but there was some truth in it. I do need to get a little more backbone.”
“Just don’t do it because of what she said.”
“I’ll try.”
Gabe cupped my chin and tilted it toward his face. He stared into my eyes, hypnotizing me once again as the whole world stopped, except for him. He moved in slow motion, his lips met mine for a sensual kiss. My insides were on fire, and my body demanded more. Never had anyone made me want to get naked and explore the way Gabe did.
“Get a room,” someone said, breaking our kiss.
I giggled and Gabe looked irritated. “Damn jerks,” he said.
“It’s okay. I wish we could get a room.”
“God, me, too, but I’ve got to get to work. We’ve got a meeting.” He stood and pulled me up with him. “I will, however, walk you home. Just don’t invite me in.
”
As we walked hand in hand back toward my place, I was beginning to think I was finally ready to be with Gabe. I grew more and more curious what it would be like to connect as one.
***
I sipped the fruity beverage Kristy had brought me almost an hour ago. I was not getting drunk again. I’d learned my lesson. The feeling of puking, and the headache the next day—not my idea of a good time.
“That guy is really cute.” Kristy nodded her head toward a blond guy with wispy hair. He happened to be staring back at my friend.
“Go talk to him. That’s what you always tell me.”
“I’m only in town for the weekend. I don’t want to spend it shacked up with a guy.”
I didn’t believe that for one second. Not that Kristy was loose or anything like that. She liked the attention. It’s why her relationships never worked for long. Once things got normal and they weren’t all about her, she jumped ship.
“You can at least talk to him. What’s it going to hurt?”
She giggled a little. “You think?”
“Seriously! Go!”
She squeezed my arm. “Do not let me leave with him, okay?”
“Deal.” I sipped my drink again.
My friend walked as casually as she could toward the guy, and I couldn’t help but watch their first interactions. It reminded me a lot of Gabe and I. Heck, we still acted that way.
I wished he was here. I still felt awful about snapping at him, even though he’d told me over and over not to. Maybe I could leave here in a bit and go see him.
“Hey.” Debbie, from my math class, came up to me. “You look as out of place as I feel.”
Thank God someone else out there was like me. “Yeah, this really isn’t my thing.”
“Why are you here?”
“My friend from high school is visiting and she wanted to party.”
Debbie nodded. “Ah, makes sense. I’m here for a guy.”
“Oh yeah?”
She sighed. “Yeah, but he’s not taken notice of me yet. We’ve talked a few times in math, but, well, it’s silly. I felt like there might be something. He’s not even acknowledged I’m here tonight, though.”
I hated she felt that way. “Don’t let him get you down.” With my cup I motioned. “There are plenty of guys here tonight.”
“Are you looking? Or do you have a boyfriend?”
“I’m seeing someone, but he’s working.”
Debbie’s breath caught. “That’s him. He’s looking this way.”
I glanced to see who it was, but all I saw was Evan. “Evan?”
“Yeah. He’s so hot.”
I laughed, unable to help it. “I know him. We’ve been friends since diapers.”
She perked up. “No way! Is he seeing anyone?”
“I don’t think anyone serious, at least.” There was Gabe’s ex, but I wasn’t sure what was going on there. I never got a straight answer from him.
“That doesn’t sound too encouraging.”
Debbie was sweet and seemed to be on my level. “Look, honestly, Evan is a mess right now. I don’t understand him myself, and I’ve known him almost my whole life. He’s going through something. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Her smile faded. “Thanks, I think.” She paused. “Well, my drink’s empty. Think I’m going to find the restroom and head out.”
“See ya in class. Be careful driving.”
I checked on Kristy, who was still engulfed in blond guy. This party was lame, or at least for me. If Kristy wasn’t here, I would’ve left with Debbie. Gone and had pie at the Waffle House or something.
I glanced back toward Evan who was seated in the corner at a small table. What the hell? Was I seeing what I thought I was?
I walked closer, and sure enough, I was.
Evan was snorting a line of white powder. I almost couldn’t believe it. I’d had my suspicions, but hadn’t wanted them to be true. Somehow I had to stop this.
“Evan!” I shouted.
He finished his line then wiped his nose. “What’s up, Pais.”
He stood, a smile on his face. Evan wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me close to him, a touch of powder still on his nostril. I was so stunned, I couldn’t move.
“Evan, what were you doing?”
He pushed me against the wall. Not hard, but enough that it shocked me. “I’m having a good time. I think you should, too.”
“Yeah, but drugs?”
He grinned. “Makes the night even better.”
He then dipped down and pressed his lips to mine. Oh. My. God. Evan was kissing me. Fuck, I was kissing him back for some reason.
This kiss felt nothing like when I kissed Gabe.
I parked my bike outside Pete’s place. I hated this place. The guy was a complete douche bag and yet, people flocked to his parties. Free booze is free booze, I guess.
I couldn’t wait to surprise Paisley. The boss told me to take the night off, and for that, I was thankful. I hadn’t been able to see much of my girl lately, and I was ready to have some much needed TLC with her. Well, as much as I could since her friend was in town.
Entering the house, the scent of alcohol and drugs welcomed me. Not long ago, I would’ve been all about joining in, but I gave it up in hopes to never be like my parents and to be the one person Nate could always look up to in his life. It wasn’t easy. Often times I craved a good beer, but I didn’t have the mind frame to have just one. I’d have another and then I’d probably find my way back to drugs, too.
“Long time not see. What’s up, Gabe?” A guy I used to hang with a lot asked.
“Not much. Coming to hang out with my girl.”
“Cool.”
I kept walking. I heard cheering and whistling coming from the next room over, so I went that way to see what was going on. I couldn’t help it. Curiosity got the best of me.
A guy had a girl pinned to the wall as his lips practically devoured the girl’s face.
I stopped dead in my tracks. Fuck no!
Evan and Paisley were kissing.
Rage took over and I raced to them, pulling on Evan and shoving him back. I was in a bubble of sorts. I could hear people talking to me, but I couldn’t comprehend anything. All I saw was red. My fist met Evan’s jaw and as he fell back, I felt a hand around my bicep.
“Oh, my God. Gabe!” Paisley stared at me, tears running down her cheeks.
Was she mad at me? Did she like kissing that dirt bag?
“Gabe. What are you doing here?” she asked.
Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to be. Was this the first time she’d kissed him? No way my girl was cheating on me. Shaking my head, I needed air.
“What the fuck, man!” Pete shouted as he helped Evan up.
I left the room and went to the first door I found. The one I came in. I walked out and straight toward my bike.
“Gabe, wait.” Paisley was behind me.
Spinning around, I stared at her. “You were kissing him.”
“He kissed me.”
I rolled my eyes. “And you kissed him back. I didn’t see you pushing him away.”
“I know.” She ran a hand through her blonde hair. “I didn’t mean to.”
My heart was heavy, and it felt like it was being ripped from my chest. I needed to get away. “I don’t have time for this. I thought you and I were special.”
“We are!” Tears ran down her cheeks. “I got lost in the kiss, but not in the way you think.”
Oh yeah, okay. This was going to be good. I stared at her, waiting for her to go on.
Paisley was antsy on her feet and she fidgeted with her hands. “Kissing him was nothing like kissing you.”
“No shit.” I needed to get out of here. My heart was breaking each second.
“Let me explain.”
“You okay?” a girl called as she walked toward them. Yay, we were now the freak show for the evening.
“I’m fine, Kristy.”
“You better
get the fuck out of here.” Pete and Evan walked toward me.
I shook my head. I was out of here. Heading toward my bike, Paisley grabbed me again. “Wait, please.”
I looked back at her as I slipped my helmet on. “You can either stay here or we can leave together.”
“I can’t leave, I have Kristy.”
Damn it! Why the hell couldn’t she just choose me? “See ya around.” I climbed on my bike and left Paisley standing there, tears streaming down her face. And as I rode down the street, tears blew in the wind behind me.
***
I stared at the beer taunting me on my coffee table. Out of instinct, I stopped by the convenience store and grabbed a bottle before coming home. That beer could make me feel a little better, which was all I wanted right now, to numb this pain in my chest.
Groaning, I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes. No, that stupid drink wouldn’t do it. I needed Paisley, and to hear what had happened. Stupidly, I’d just taken off without letting her explain. That jerk Evan might’ve kissed her and she kissed him back, but she did say it was nothing like kissing me. That could mean two things.
I kissed better and gave her the same world stopping feeling she gave me.
Or she realized what she thought she had with me was nothing compared to what Evan made her feel.
God, why did I leave? Now I was going to go insane wondering.
A bang sounded on my door. Maybe it was Paisley and she was coming to explain everything. I jumped off the couch, darting to the door. Swinging it open, I didn’t find Paisley. Instead, Kelly stood there.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Were you at the party?” I leaned against the door frame.
“I was. Can I come in?”
I stepped back, allowing her to enter. We went into the living room and sat on the couch.
“Thought you didn’t drink,” she said, glancing at the beer.
“I don’t.”
She rubbed her thigh with her long, red nails. “So Paisley and Evan. It was only a matter of time.”
“If you came here to put salt in my wound, you can leave. Besides, you were supposed to be keeping him occupied.”
“Sorry.” She grinned at me and tossed her dark locks behind her shoulders. “I came to make you feel better, but I want you to know, we all saw it coming. Friends since childhood? It was only a matter of time before they hooked up.”